I really need some help...

[jpstephens2012]

i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.

[AmelieJolie]

hi, jpstephens2012.

first of all you are not alone. there are many others who are experiencing and feeling similar things, even if you won't know them or meet them personally.


i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world.

i spent many years suffering from depression because i just felt, somehow that the "perfect job" had to be out there, somewhere. however....this world....this "reality" we are experiencing right now.....just isn't like that for the vast majority of people.

any job, paid or voluntary, which allows you to reach out to and uplift others, can and will make a difference in our world. nothing nothing is trivial.
everything counts!

i think david wilcock has said somewhere......that the true source of our pain is separation from god.
well, i agree with this.
i suffer from depression now and then.
but i know what i am actually suffering from does not stem from physical depression. it is actually soul-sickness.

you are undoubtedly going through a rough time right now.
but just keep going, and try to tune into; reconnect with your higher self.
they say the darkest hour is before the dawn........

we're here for you. ;)

[AmelieJolie]

one other thing. it would seem that in order for something we desire to materialize, we must first of all have a clear image in our minds of exactly what it is. have you ever tried working with the principles of "the secret"?

[MarkM]

i can relate, my friend, i've been there.

oftentimes we think to ourselves that, as spiritual beings, we would probably be much more at home once we get to the spiritual realms.

but, eventually, a great epiphany will hit you - 3d earth is no more or no less a 'spiritual' plane than any other!

everything that happens here is a 'spiritual' occurrence.

everything, from digging a ditch to feeding the poor, holds an equal authenticity of fulfilling the role of the spiritual becoming of all in this plane of existence.

every imaginable vocational position is intrinsically 'sacred', just as every soul is a fundamentally integral part of the creator.

perhaps it is important to keep in mind that you are here in this particular spiritual plane because it is the place where your spiritual life and your personal becoming can gain the greatest benefit, as well as being the place where your presence can be of most benefit to others.

in regards to the issue of 'mundane'-ness versus the more high-browed or esoteric spirituality, the following story comes to mind:

[paraphrased]:
a young monk of great promise left his mentor and the monastery at which he studied, and disappeared for close to twenty years into the wilderness; after which time he returned to his mentor and said with great excitement,

"master, master, i've finally done it! i can walk all the way across the stream that runs below the cave - in which i have meditated for close to twenty years - and not get my feet wet! all that effort has finally paid off!"

the old monk said, "you mean that stream that runs through the mountain pass to the east?"

"yes, yes!" enthused the (now not so) young monk.

"well, my son," said the older monk, shaking his head sadly, "there's a foot-bridge less than a quarter-mile upstream from there, you could have accomplished the same in less than 20 minutes!"

-mark

[jpstephens2012]

thank you... yes. i battle with the law of attraction daily. although i firmly believe in the precepts brought to us by abraham and try to apply what i have learned on a daily and even moment by moment basis, my results have been dismal at best. indeed, the loa is the stimulation behind my post.

as far as 'the secret' is concerned, that was an attempt by the orion group to profit from and control the abraham material. fortunately, ester and jerry were able to see through the ruse and escape the entanglement, as was i. this is part of the things that so often makes me angry as i spoke of in another thread.

i have progressed to a point in my development where i am able to see the underlying foundation of most things. it makes me unwilling to participate in those things that i see as not productive to my spiritual growth or as contributing to the ongoing deception around us.

as we approach this ascension event, the efforts are redoubled by the negative forces to enslave and suppress the budding new growth of truth and spirituality.

we are surrounded on all sides by lies in every possible form. nothing is true or real, even our food is fake and all but worthless. items we buy in the stores are cheap facsimiles of things that were once quality. everything today are merely shades of things that once were. fakeries, shams, simulations, look alikes.

even the personalities of the people are artificial, their appearance artificial, the music is artificial, the system of trade is artificial, the physics are artificial, the geopolitics are artificial, hell... even my mind may be artificial. there is nothing real in this reality anymore.

i want to go home, back to the pleiades. i've always sensed that was my home ever since i was a small boy. i want to be around loving, honest, and caring people, yet i find myself surrounded by entities on the 4d negative path, or just sitting on the fence unable to commit for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of security.

don't get me wrong, i love those people, but it doesn't seem to be where i belong. nevertheless i have a responsibility that i must uphold, and a duty to provide for them, that i am miserably failing at that no matter how hard i try.

five more years... it doesn't sound like much, yet every day seems like a lifetime. i've become completely dysfunctional in this illusion but i have to continue to try.

this only scratches the surface of the emotions welling inside of me, or the knowledge underlying them. have i missed it? am i one of the left behind? has the ascension event already come and gone and i never even noticed it? has my life been so bad that i have been sentenced to a repetition of another cycle in 3d? god! i hope and pray not.

[David Wilcock]

in your right hand is life.

in your left hand is death.

both are real. both exist in great proliferation all around us.

either one can be focused on, and become the sum total of what we see and experience in this reality.

we can prove that either one exists by our focus -- by how we interpret what we see.

- david

[cdspencer71]

oh dear, it's not just you. i have been going through much of the same. i have the same desire to put my spiritual beliefs to work, i desparately need money, but i cannot squeeze myself into the molds of this 3d society to make a go of it. as i learned from some of davids readings- we have to bring sacredness to the mundane. i feel that it is our job to hold light for the planet, by being who we are. being kind to an animal is just as important as having some big job saving the world. in fact, the ripples of positive energy from one act of kindness can reach thousands, and we never even see it. that is significant.

i don't know about you, but i have had a hard time "out in the real world," because my mind and body don't seem to work like other peoples. in fact i don't know how people do it!! i personally have sensory issues, such as extreme sensitivites to sounds, light, crowds, etc. i also can't wake up easily. i am very intelligent, but just not made for this freakin' place!! i see my kids going through the same things!! as for money, am i lucky because my husband supports me, but it i cannot be dependant any longer. it feels horrible. i just keep asking my higher self for guidance. i know, that if i started doing the things i know i should, like meditating more for insight, etc., i would be doing better. i get stuck in stress mode. i have bipolar type ii, so i know about depression!!! i think i was suicidal for most of 2006!! it's my kids that keep me hanging on in those dark times. you are not alone!!! hope i made sense here. i had to take a pain pill for a pulled muscle and i'm a bit stoned!!:d

[Des]

i've had this problem most of my life!!!
because of never fitting inn and finding most jobs and careers pointless i have had to settle for a succession of menial, low paying jobs between bouts of unemployment. it was only when i decide to become self employed ten years ago that my work life became meaningful. now i realise it doesn't really matter what we work at as long as it's reasonably ethical and gives some job satisfaction and our workmates are fun to be around.

your priority has to be providing for the two kids you have brought into the world. they must come first. get rid of all selfish ambition. kill it out. ask in your morning prayers for god, the force to guide you and be willing to hand over your life to him on a daily basis and trust that you will be shown what to do. that simple way of being works for most of us here, methinks. you are not any different or special. look out every day for ways to help somebody else. tough times are coming for all of us and so we must prepare ourselves and strengthen our faith and trust in god or whatever it is that makes the universe work!
day by day you will be shown what to do. if you are not, don't worry, you will be soon. we are not really all that important, y'know.:d

[jpstephens2012]

thank you. your answer is in the true nature of the one infinite creator. simple and succinct. once again i find myself in your debt. i will do my best to honor that and change my point of focus. this one is going on the wall!

namaste,

jim stephens

[AmelieJolie]

beautifully written, markm.

jpstephens....i agree with you about "the secret". it does appeal too much to the ego, though the basic principles of it make an important point. i've never even read it, nor do i want to, only heard about it....but i just wanted to use it as an example. ;)

as for everything in life seeming mundane.....that is all to do with the eye of the beholder. it goes back to the saying, "is the cup half full or half empty?"

the way we see things all depends on what we focus on.
if we focus on the negative, in a sense, we amplify it. i feel that this is the case with people. people may chose to either focus on the faults of others, or their good qualities. focus on someone's faults and we make them feel bad; focus on someone's good points and we make them feel good, boosting their confidence and helping them to fulfill their potential (though i believe in honesty; we should only say something we really mean). if we have negative thoughts about someone, we can chose not to amplify the negativity by voicing these thoughts. any constructive criticism should be given with diplomacy and balanced by compassion.

life is all about balance. wherever their is imbalance, their is usually an ailment of some sort or another.

you do sound depressed, and like i was saying, the true source of our pain is "separation from god".
but this "separation" is just an illusion.

to see a world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wild flower
hold eternity
in the palm of your hand
and infinity in an hour.


i too, by the way......feel i am not from this world. i guess that's why i can relate a lot to what you are saying. ;)

do you ever get the chance to be around nature? nature is a wonderful way to feel "connected".
spend some time around nature. listen to the trees. (personally, i feel very sad if i stay anywhere where i can't be near trees and nature). every part of nature has been animated by the great spirit, and really does help us to feel more at one.


love.

[Ewhaz]

you say you see the schemes and plans around you, those that are of the service to self distortion. i don't think any one here is under any illusion that it is otherwise. however under all that there is a greater plan, one which in your state you should be able to see. it is not the plans of men, or of great evil or distortions.

it is your own plan..

can you see the path you have set before yourself? the one who decided that you would incarnate in this time, with these circomstances, do you think he did so without great wisdom and knowledge, without the counsel of god himself?

trust.. you must trust yourself. turn that trust inside and believe that you can and will be able to find the job that you need to care for your family. with that trust, go out and find a job! even if it seems contrary to your spiritual nature, see it for what it is, an opportunity to serve not only your family but others.

at every job i've had, there has always been at least one person who helped me on my spiritual path, helped lift myself higher to see the grander scheme of things.

don't focus on the negative world, focus on the good inside yourself and let that be the light that leads you. every one knows the world isn't the true reality, and that its a distortion but where here to play like it matters and it does!

may you find what your truly looking for. love and light.

[Art]

:eek:

jim, and everyone out there experiencing cleansing,

these days, and those to follow, will surely bring alot of spiritual cleansing as we look to forgive ourselves and others, as we incorporate our shadow selves and higher selves into one whole being again... alot of work to be done, both inner and outer...

dear jim - you are not alone. but, as others have said, you have a responsibility to support your family. every job has its negatives and surely we'd all like to be in "spiritual work", but i'm afraid the market's pretty tight right now, and with all the craziness that is to happen, people will be very wary of charlatans... so, i'd offer this - at any job, even if it is not spiritually-oriented, you still can be a spiritual person and "lead by example". back when i was a corporate-american robot, i was often complemented by my boss for "my attitude and the energy i brought" - this was before my awakening. this wasn't an effort thing, just something he noticed that i personally brought to the table. each of us can do this at any job, be it mickey d's or whatever. so, you can be a positive force even in a sts 3d job.

and lastly, similar to what david wrote...

yes, if you focus on the sts and all the "ugly" things going on right now, then surely you'll be depressed, angry, upset. however i would offer this - if you can, just for a moment, look through the fog and you will see beauty all around you. so, as david said, its what you choose to focus on...

good luck sir. you are in my thoughts - all of you - today and tomorrow and until the day we meet on the other side. we're here for each other and hopefully those who need it will be able to draw strength from this beautiful place. i do when i need to be "grounded" - reset... :d

art

[jpstephens2012]

i do want to clear up a few points. i'm not depressed, i used to have bouts with depression, some that lasted for years, and i am intimately familiar with it. i got over it one day in a day and have had pretty good control over it ever since.

i'm frustrated. i'm tired. i've lost my focus temporarily. how easy it is to be seduced by the dark side.

i'm not looking to be the savior of humanity. i would if i could. i just want to be involved in something that is part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. i'd be the toilet scrubber for a company that was developing free energy technology for instance, and be happy at the job.

i try to focus on the positive most of the time, but the shear preponderance of the negative is ofttimes overwhelming. i currently find myself in a situation that nothing short of a miracle can stop. yes, i created it over a period of 54 years. some of it follows around behind me like a shadow because of the unforgiving social structure of our society. debts, mistakes, failures of various sorts, rear their heads at most inopportune times, dashing dreams and plans to a pile of rubble. of course, because of our social structure, none of these are problems that money could not fix, and that is the one thing i can't seem to get, no matter how hard i try. sometimes it feels like there is an intelligence behind it, intent, like someone is there with a thumb pressed down upon me, an orion who is assigned solely to me to keep me from rising above the pit of despair. there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

yes, i know. it sounds like the ramblings of a depressed sociopath. all i can say is, don't knock the shoes unless you've worn them. david's advice is good. i need to change my point of focus and continuing this tirade isn't helping. i guess maybe i just needed to dump this baggage. thanks for listening. i am.

[music=geometry]

hello, it's been a while since i have posted on this site, mainly because of my studies, however, it is an honor to be in your presence.

while reading the original post, i felt many parrallels to my own life at one point in time. i can say this, with all due confidence... being on this journey to receive light is like having many a polarity shift, and often. you are deprogramming yourself, and finding out who you really are. with that comes the occasional bouts of doubt, and sometimes a rythm that you feel you cannot control. learn to change your polarity. know that the essence will hear your call, but be patient. learn to play the "game" well enough that you do not get caught up in the ordeals of daily life. seek solace in your brothers and sisters, whether through conversation or observation. remember, it is the lows and highs which remind us of this experience. personally it's hard for me to think of ascending by only knowing good. you need to experience some dark in order to appreciate the light.

but you are on your way, the first step is knowing what the problem is. the second, where you want to be. use mental alchemy to formulate your own equation on how to get there. the rest will see it's way through

wishing you all peace, love, and light
joe, san francisco :o

[FooSnik]

in your right hand is life.

in your left hand is death.

both are real. both exist in great proliferation all around us.

either one can be focused on, and become the sum total of what we see and experience in this reality.

we can prove that either one exists by our focus -- by how we interpret what we see.

- david

what an amazing quote that is. as true and awesome that quote is, and things i believe are actually that simple, it really does not seem so simple. for kind loving souls this world can seem so brutal and crazy. my most recent thought on this is that i have chosen to come here in order to learn some self-defense. if you are coming from a loving gentle planet or world you would have no need to learn this so it is possible that coming here was to learn how to negotiate these negative forces.

thought continued below:


i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.

i feel and understand you with all my heart and soul. it is so hard for us loving, gentle and kind souls and my life has been extremely hard. whether i "chose" this or did this to myself is beside the point because the very real reality is it is happening and it hurts bad. don't give up! you can make it. i think it is a very good thing for us loving souls to learn how to get angry. anger applied in the right direction, without violence and damage to others or oneself, is a very powerful and necessary tool. i think that it is possible that souls like you and me came to this crazy planet to learn how to apply and focus anger, (and also to release and not internalize it) in order to produce a positive change. don't give up and i won't either. let's make it happen.

[jpstephens2012]

foosnik: thank you for your interesting perspective, you might very well be on to something there. by this time i am a grand master at anger, perhaps if i can learn to transform it into spiritual power, i can contribute to effecting real change in the world around me.


music=geometry: thank you for your kind insight and sympathetic ear. your words do not fall upon the deaf.

art: like you, i also come to this place of communing as a means of renewal and grounding. that is why i came here today. i was at the end of my ability to cope. in my desire to seek truth i have found more than perhaps i was prepared to receive. thanks to you and the others who have responded to my plea, and especially that amazing quote from david, i'm better now and the black cloud hanging over me has dissipated somewhat. it is difficult to change ones focus when it is constantly shoved into your face. thank you also for your kind thoughts and words.

to everyone else, if i did not respond personally it is not because i did not take in your offering. i read all the replies and gained solace from each and every one. thank you all for your uplifting and caring thoughts. it is good to know that i am not alone in experiencing these things.

this afternoon i picked up the phone and called an ad i had saved from one of the job sites. i have an appointment for tomorrow at 12:30 for a job as a courier. it sounds like exactly the kind of thing i would be interested in because it doesn't require a lot of thought or effort and affords me a lot of time to work on myself. i listen to a lot of stuff in the truck and even meditate in a way because driving is almost an autonomic response.

may the peace of the one infinite creator be with you all.

namaste,

jim stephens

[FrankBenefield]

i've got to say, your post really hit me in the chest. i thought i was alone in this dilemma. i wonder why, according to the responses, this situation seems so prevalent now? when i was in high school, and everyone was deciding which economic ladder they would choose to climb, i had already chosen to climb the spiritual ladder (the one with no rungs). eight years later, i have a significant amount of knowledge i've attained, and nothing on the outside to show for it. it wouldn't be so bad if it was just me, but i'm in the middle of a divorce and custody battle, and my son is an extremely unhealthy environment with his mom. according to the guardian ad litem (my sons attorney), with the combination of my compassion and intelligence, he would be mine pretty much hands down. unfortunately, the only hurdle is finding employment (agoraphobia doesn't help). i've always felt that my purpose was on the spiritual side, but at the same time that's a difficult path when i'm humble enough to admit that i'm far from having all the answers. so many companies rob their customers blind these days, and i refuse to be a part of that. i'm all about love. everything else is about money, something i care nothing for. unfortunately for my soul, my son is priority one. i'm already behind on child support (also not helping me win), but he's all i have, so here i come cruel world. i'm not really sure what my post here can add to your understanding, but perhaps i can be another voice in the crowd saying "you're not alone. we're with you." 1,535 days and counting...

[addalight]

it's all grist for the mill.

i can only speak from my own experience. i used to work at a place that

people would react with "ewe, how can you work there.", when they found

out where i worked. and my respose was, "i like to think i make it a better

place." one must make a living. sometimes there are great opportunities for

growth and sto in this sts environment. i've always found it helpful to do

some kind of prayer or meditation for protection before going to work and i

thank god for alowing me to be of service. it's a good idea to do something

similar when you get home, like asking to remove all energies not of your

making.

i currently work in an environment i don't really like and one of the people i

work closely with is one of the most negative people i've ever met. he must

be in my life to teach me something.

i hope it's ok to mention someone not of this website, but [you may email adda for the name] has

been my mentor from afar since 1970, before websites. i love [name]. he is

always there on the path of service. he wrote a book called [book name] that i have found helpful..

[tanam]

hi stephen,
just this sunday night, i called and spoke to my good friend in a different city. i was basically saying the same thing you wrote, it was amazingly accurate within 80% of the content of your initial message, down to the employment situation, skill sets, urgent sense of responsibility, etc. of course there are basic differences, such as i'm living single with no kids, etc. it was weird to read your message, it was as if you read my mind and posted it online.

i too lost my focus far too often, i too beat myself up about my past decisions, i don't mesh so well with the majority of the people here either ... there are so many things that we and the other members of this dc forum share together. i guess it is just the way earth the school of hard knocks tempers us. at the end of the day, we will breathe more easily if we just say "thank you very much" for all the catalysts that come upon us. i know it is hard to say "thank you" sincerely when you're beaten up. i force myself to say it multiple times, by the time i say it for the 10th or 20th or 30th time i usually can be more sincere about it, then a shift in perspective happens.

we all support you. many members had reached out to you, we love you, and we hope you'll keep hanging tough.


love/light
tan

[jpstephens2012]

it seems that my post was a synchronicity of sorts. many of you have responded with thoughts and feelings and experiences of a similar nature. it seems many of us who would seek to be light workers are going through a similar process. of course, knowing that others are going through the same struggle does not ease the pain, but intensifies it in the knowing that other good people are having to experience the same trials and travail. my heart goes out to each of you.

perhaps i was driven to make my post so that we all could externalize our feelings and frustrations and thereby be able to work through them and finally progress beyond them. maybe our joining together will bring power to the prayer for relief from our suffering and pain and the forces of the universe will be drawn to bring speedy recovery for us all. i can only hope and pray so.


thank you all, and if there are others, please don't hesitate to post your thoughts and feelings. there is power in numbers and the unifying of us all in a single voice carries to the ends of the universe and beyond. i can see the beginnings of a social memory complex here. perhaps the process of ascension starts here.

in the light of the one,

jim stephens

[FooSnik]

jim, how are ya? all these threads and your post helped me to feel better. it is the worst to feel like you are all alone in that stuff. i have created a new thread that you should check out called "guys, i think i have an idea..." and you should check it out and tell me what you think. my heart goes out to you buddy. i have experience some pain and suffering in my life that i did not think i could bear another moment. but it does get better. and when it does get better it feels that much better because of your experience. don't give up!!!! thanks for sharing your post.

[Art]

jim,

well, you certainly sound much better. we each feel and experience each other's joys and successes. also their pain and suffering.

as has been said many times already, all of us are going through these catalysts in one way or another and we're all here for you, and each other. i'm very glad to see that you're feeling better. expressing our feelings here really helps (i usually call it "airing dirty laundry", but oh does it feel so much better to just say and/or write it, doesn't it?).

i hope opportunities come your way and your situation improves.

take care -

art

[AmelieJolie]

when we share problems, we real-eyes we're not alone in our suffering.

[jpstephens2012]

greetings all and everyone,

wow, what a lot has happened in the time since this thread was started. i've been off the forums for a long time as i worked out the internal turmoil brought on by awakening and preparation for ascension. i have finally reached a place where the activities of the dark no longer hold sway over my attitudes and emotions (at least not for more than a few minutes).

it's difficult to observe and not get caught up in the drama that unfolds before us, but with practice it is possible. indeed it is a matter of focus. we are programmed from birth to react with certain responses to stimuli from the environment, along with pre-programmed responses brought over from past life experiences and environmental, racial, and social prejudices. overcoming those pre-programmed responses are the hardest on the path to illumination.

we do live in a disgusting environment. it is one of our own making, sometimes through our actions, sometimes our in-actions, and sometimes just our mere thoughts which are just as real, just as solid, and just as damning as the more physical aspects. i have come to realize though, that the thoughts we hold and the emotions we experience, do indeed effect the world around us in many unseen ways.

things have gotten much better for me since this original post. it does seem the cleansing never ends, you think you've finished and oops! there goes another one, :). the process starts all over again. but slowly, line by line, precept by precept, the negativity starts to fade and the challenges get easier and easier till finally it seems you're there. the sun rises and a new day dawns, just as glorious and beautiful as the last, only this time you recognize it for what it is, a new opportunity.

i hope you all have a wonderful day and may the peace and tranquility of the one be with you throughout the hours and days ahead.

[Cosmolaws]

well friends!
i my self is soon to be without a job an has tendens to go in a depression mode when without a job. so what to do when there is no jobs? "the secret" dos not work at all when there is no job at hand. you have to be at jesus level for this to work and its kind of funny to see people chasin these laws with no clue what so ever. but hey, its a free world. so my suggestion and own approach is this. be in every breath as it where your last. get up in the morning to watch the sunset as it would be the last sunset you ever will see. see beyond the flesh when you are with your familly and radiate joy and love to them so they see a father who has trust in life. trust that today its gonna work out just fine. today we all can sit down at the dinner table and fill the stomicks. there is a passage in the bible thats says: do not worry about food for your table or clothes for your body.
have trust! thats the secret, trust life.

[Bill]

okay, the moderators would not let me start a new thread for this, but...

like most of us on this forum, we know that this last 6 months have been some real interesting times, and frustration, and changes. i sense that most of us believe that some big changes are due in the next 6 months. i base this just on my feelings, what i am observing, and what i see/hear from multiple sources.

i wonder, at some higher level, if this is why i have not found a job, and had the experiences i have over the last 6 years, in preparation for these coming moments, when i may be called on to help guide others through what may be traumatic times.

i wanted to start a thread where would could discuss these items/issues/ideas as they come up. it would be nice to hear what is happening locally, and how we may be rising to our sense of duty or calling, and how we might all help each other get through this phase.

any thoughts? comments?

[Nomadess 2012]

aloha bill!
you have basically described the way i have been feeling, and the feeling is speeding up. for example, when it turned 2007, that was when i first felt a more intense "vibe," like, this is something different. when it turned 2008, i felt the same thing but even more intense, and 2008 was probably the most intense year i've had in a long time, due also to the fact that everyone around me was going through intense stuff too. and the experiences i had in those two years were so intense i had to work out at the gym every day (which i totally don't normally do) to counteract the intensity. that intense feeling calmed down a little toward the end of '08, then when it turned '09, i intuitively felt, and feel, this is the year to do something, i feel that '09 has a really strong vibe of what you put out there will come back to you, really strongly and more quickly than usual, if that's a good way to describe it.
now, in the past couple of weeks it feels stronger again, like i've experienced a major shift in the last week alone. it's really awesome and i feel awesome, and i find that i have to stay feeling that way because when i find myself a little down, which we all normally do here and there, i find that that's more intense too. i told myself just this morning, that when i feel down, when my vibe is down, to just go with it, it will pass, it always does, but especially not to put out any negative thoughts when i'm feeling down because that's what we tend to do -- since it feels like things are manifesting faster. does that make sense?
it's an intense feeling. coinciding with this shift i currently feel, i suddenly "know" that i've lived millions of lives, i felt a strong earthquake on 09/09 that didn't actually happen (yet, anyway), and strangest of all -- and it's totally true -- i saw an orb in my room the other night. it was green.
honestly, having a couple cocktails helps! but that's just me. i'm glad you posted ... what else has been happening?

[Bill]

nomadess,

thanks for the response. i too have sensed similar feelings, and 2009 is really different... it's weird, it almost feels like i am standing back out of the moment thinking, whooaa... this is weird...

the biggest challenge is trying to stay away from being negative. i believe i am handling that, but almost seem to be looking over my shoulder wondering what new lesson is coming my way (hopefully it is a new lesson)... i am becoming more aware of whether i have learned the lessons that show up, and am healing, and knowing that it really important right now.

i like your idea about the exercise and refocusing... i have been thinking about that a lot lately, and will start today on that....

thanks for the response.

[Nomadess 2012]

the biggest challenge is trying to stay away from being negative. i believe i am handling that, but almost seem to be looking over my shoulder wondering what new lesson is coming my way (hopefully it is a new lesson)... i am becoming more aware of whether i have learned the lessons that show up, and am healing, and knowing that it really important right now.


totally!!!

it really is intense. people around me who are not aware or not in tune with this, are very quite literally, "losing it." drugs, alcohol, constant negativity. i agree with you about the biggest challenge being not being negative. what i meant to say in the last post but i forgot to elaborate, was that when i do feel down, don't make any major decisions from that state of mind. i said once, "if we were never sad, we'd never know when we were happy." the sadness / negativity always passes, one just has to allow it to be there, knowing it will pass. don't get down on yourself if you find yourself being negative, don't judge yourself, just know that it will pass. and don't make any major decisions!! at least these are the things i'm telling myself. it seems really important.
also, i have a couple major projects i've been working on which i know i have to finish by the end of 2009; just a knowing thing.

[Bill]

based on the previous posts, just occurred to me... here is what i have been observing lately:

1.) chemtrail spraying seems to be more frequent, and more spraying
2.) i keep receiving 'free' passes to a wholesaler, which normally cost $100s... and not just one or two, i have been receiving these messages almost every day now for the last two weeks.
3.) being out of work since april, i have fallen behind on my credit card payments. when they call asking for a payment, they take down my status, and mention they would like to work with me, and will call back again. compare this to over a year ago when i have agents yelling at me on the phone calling me a deadbeat.
4.) my garden seems to have been, well, in a mellow mood... that is the only way i can think of to describe it. i usually get a strong burst of growth, and then by the end of august, most things are done... i still have cucumber plants that are taking their sweet time growing... no sizeable cucumbers after 3 months... i have only had a few zuchinni, normally, i get dozens of them.
5.) i have witnessed others wanting to be of service to me, and have received assistance from others... kind of humbling, but also very appreciated.
6.) i am sure you have seen the ads for jewelers that want to buy your gold... i noticed that one of them mentioned that they were offering their special top pricing up until september 30th... ironically, the last day of the govts. fiscal year.... hmmm...

so, just some random observations.

[Matthew Clark]

hi all,

can i start by saying how much i have enjoyed reading the posts on this thread - many have been very open and honest about personal stuff and i salute your courage and honesty.

giving a brief analysis of the replies from the original poster to now, it appears that we are all looking for advice and encouragement from our fellow brothers and sisters. true to form, as i would expect nothing less on here, the support has been offered. jump forward a year or so and the "tone" changes to a much more positive level. i am so pleased that the orignal poster has left his dark place and thanks to his more recent update, shown to us all that things can and do change.

my brief story is this. my partner was a company director for many years. he had a huge salary which enabled us to have the best of everything. we live in a very large house with beautiful views and all of the finest quality furnishings. one day dave (my partner) had to go to the m.d because the m.d had been having an affair with the office junior for 2 years and it was causing his departments a lot of problems. during that meeting, the m.d told dave that he was going to have him "done over". he had to leave for his own safety. he went to a solictor (long story cut short) and after 5 months, was charged £9000, only to have a payment of £2000 - lawyers destroy justice! anyway, this chain of events actually started dave on his own spiritual journey. he received a tax re-bate for £2012!! synchronicity?

anyway, we are now living off of savings which will not last forever (this happened a year ago) as he has not managed to find a job. we went to wiltshire last week and stood looking at a crop circle - a very humbling experience i can tell you. yesterday we went to glastonbury for the day and that was great too.

the house, the possessions, the quality furnishings etc etc - mean nothing. we would happily walk away from it all and live in a field in wiltshire in a grotty caravan if we could because the moment we stood in that field, looking at the awesome crop circle, we realised that "this" is what it is all about. being 1 with mother nature and the planet. the best "things" in life are not "things".

re the earlier post about the adverts asking for gold - we have started to get them in the uk and they are driving me mad!

the next few months are going to be very interesting indeed and a part of me is slightly worried (fear of the unknown) and a part of me is excited. it is all about to kick off - hopefully big time. that will wake up the sheeple!

love and light to you all,

matt

[bobfitz]

i know i'm late to this discussion, but it really hit me at the right time. thanks for sharing your feelings. i thought i was alone, but clearly i'm not.

what to do, what to do...?

well, bucky fuller once said that when you want to change something, don't engage with the old system. instead, build something new that makes the old system obsolete.

let's focus our intent on what's new and what we want to make real. we'll stop being outsiders and become central participants in our lives. we are the experience.

any job is useful even if it just helps pay some bills in the old system. stay open to what's next and engage with the future. what makes you happy? new forms of energy? new spirituality? co-operation in the community? sustainable living? alternative medicine?

pick something for now. don't try to pick the ultimate answer. just pick something that feels good and add some value to it. do research on the web, start a blog to collect your thoughts on the subject, post your wisdom on discussion boards, volunteer your time or services (all start-ups need cheap help), go to a free mixer or conference, start a discussion group at a coffee shop, call some folks in the field and ask questions about how to get involved, etc. along the way, money happens. i've been up, i've been down. up is better.

point your being and energy toward an area of true interest that feels good and move in that direction. you'll feel better, more empowered, and more connected to your destination. step by step you'll get where you want to be. your family will love you and support you because they will see you are being true to yourself and working in a positive direction.

and during your daily contemplations and meditations, think of the worst s.o.b. on the planet, open your heart, and pour the good vibe on him! hah!

you'll free up some major clogs and put your love to work where it can do the most good.

be well

[Bluebird1711]

hi all,

can i start by saying how much i have enjoyed reading the posts on this thread - many have been very open and honest about personal stuff and i salute your courage and honesty.

giving a brief analysis of the replies from the original poster to now, it appears that we are all looking for advice and encouragement from our fellow brothers and sisters. true to form, as i would expect nothing less on here, the support has been offered. jump forward a year or so and the "tone" changes to a much more positive level. i am so pleased that the orignal poster has left his dark place and thanks to his more recent update, shown to us all that things can and do change.

my brief story is this. my partner was a company director for many years. he had a huge salary which enabled us to have the best of everything. we live in a very large house with beautiful views and all of the finest quality furnishings. one day dave (my partner) had to go to the m.d because the m.d had been having an affair with the office junior for 2 years and it was causing his departments a lot of problems. during that meeting, the m.d told dave that he was going to have him "done over". he had to leave for his own safety. he went to a solictor (long story cut short) and after 5 months, was charged £9000, only to have a payment of £2000 - lawyers destroy justice! anyway, this chain of events actually started dave on his own spiritual journey. he received a tax re-bate for £2012!! synchronicity?

anyway, we are now living off of savings which will not last forever (this happened a year ago) as he has not managed to find a job. we went to wiltshire last week and stood looking at a crop circle - a very humbling experience i can tell you. yesterday we went to glastonbury for the day and that was great too.

the house, the possessions, the quality furnishings etc etc - mean nothing. we would happily walk away from it all and live in a field in wiltshire in a grotty caravan if we could because the moment we stood in that field, looking at the awesome crop circle, we realised that "this" is what it is all about. being 1 with mother nature and the planet. the best "things" in life are not "things".

re the earlier post about the adverts asking for gold - we have started to get them in the uk and they are driving me mad!

the next few months are going to be very interesting indeed and a part of me is slightly worried (fear of the unknown) and a part of me is excited. it is all about to kick off - hopefully big time. that will wake up the sheeple!

love and light to you all,

matt

hi matt,

i applaud you, and wish you and dave all my love on your journey together.

i loved your quote that the best things are not things, how true is that :) ! there is indeed more positivity now than in 2007 when jim stephens first posted his heart felt plea. i am so happy for you jim that your corner, on your journey, has been turned and things are looking so much brighter.

i was not a member of this site when the original post went up but would have felt so much empathy with what was said by the many posters. i too was in a dark place.

as jim has found out.....things change (the only guarantee in life :d)....and they certainly have for me. not through any particular effort of mine.....but by just trusting in what my higher self was telling me. i started to go along with intuitive feelings and not what i thought the right thing was to do!

on the face of it....the decisions i made could have led me into total financial and emotional turmoil.....but as always happens.......it didn't.

i feel so lucky and grateful that i had the strength to follow the path of the 'non conformist'....and take a risk :). in hindsight it was never a risk...it was always meant to be. whilst i am not dining on grapes and wine at the moment my contentment could not be more complete :d .

am i lucky??? or is there a divine plan for all of us if we listen to ourselves.

i wish you matt and dave all the best and am so happy you have found a better peace now......even if the 'things' dwindle.

i salute you

take care,

love always

jim

[Nomadess 2012]

and during your daily contemplations and meditations, think of the worst s.o.b. on the planet, open your heart, and pour the good vibe on him! hah!


i send light and love to dick cheney.

[bobfitz]

i send light and love to dick cheney.

see? doesn't that feel better!

[Matthew Clark]

hi jim,

i have to say a very big thank you for your kind words. never ever under-estimate what even just a few words of encouragment and kindness does to someones soul.

you know i am constantly reminded, pretty much on a daily basis at just how kind we humans are. there is so much negative talk about or should i say fear porn (as david puts it) that one can easily find oneself in the illusion that people just do not care.

your words mean a great deal to myself and david - more than you know.


whilst i am not dining on grapes and wine at the moment my contentment could not be more complete

oh dear - time to own up - our contentment could not be more complete and we erm do dine on wine, though not grapes - not literally but hey the wine started off as grapes!

does that count as one of your 5 a day? hmmm interesting point!

may love and light fill your heart with joy and thanks again.

matt

[Nomadess 2012]

see? doesn't that feel better!

too funny!!!

i wanted to add something from the other day. regarding what i and bill had been saying about trying to not be negative (wait, is that a double negative? ha ha) ... as i was waking up the other day, this thought came to me: "we are taught to always be looking for something."

so you know how we, societally speaking, are always thinking things like, when i get that new job i'll be happy. or that new boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. those things all serve to keep us negative, in a state of longing ... and when we're longing for something, we put that out to the universe, ensuring that more longing will come!!!

due to that fact, and this is how i interpreted the thought that morning, we have been taught (the thought said) to stay in that state, how's that?

it's a difficult pattern to break, too, since all our lives we have basically been longing for something or other. we were taught that! it always comes down to relationships and money, too, ever notice that? two things that can help us grow emotionally and mentally, two of the biggest things, and those are the two things we all have problems with (disclaimer: i am not suggesting that everyone here has these problems i am just generalizing!!)

when we break out of those thought patterns ...

[MichaelFromGod]

i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.


jp,

i would suggest getting some professional help asap, don't go this alone, some counseling sounds like it is much needed here, right now there is a stress and scattering of energy and focus that is effecting the whole planet, there nothing wrong with getting help from within, but at the same time getting help from without is a good thing too, you need not be a lonesome warrier with this, get some help, and get grounded, it sound like you really need to get a hold of your self in this world and the inner, but this world too my friend.

michael

[Horsemaker]

an interesting thread. struggles to be in the world but not of it. i think we all wanted to come here at this challenging time to transform our experiences. we are such magnificent and powerful beings, we can do just about anything. the deck is "stacked against us" as we cry out saying, "woe is me that my sojourn is prolonged!" but, the thing is, our task is to take any situation we find our self in and transform it. if we are looking for a way out of this mess we are looking at the wrong thing. i think we all vollunteered to do this gig because we are good a transformations. falling into the trap the world has set that is about working as a slave to the money machine. wrong focus. being magnificent, no matter what the circumstances,is why we came. we can't have a bad day and say we are loosing the battle if we just take this now moment and bring our light forward into this matter. this is not just airy fairy talk. when you are aware you are a light being and walk out into the world with that in mind, you are looking for every way you can to be a blessing and to bless. nothing then looks hopeless or grim.choose to be a blessing...let it flow!

[Bwen]

i think most people didnt realize the post was from 2007, i just wanted to say a little something. :p

negativity is relative to the one perceiving it. an angel cannot exist without its opposite , that is the rule of duality. before you decided to see duality the angel and the demon were one and the same.

no one is after you but your own perception of duality. your capacity to love can only be measured by your capacity to hate for it is not unconditional love if you perceive duality.

glad you are working "things" out my friend. :o

[MarBu13]

i've been contemplating suicide for about a year now. i just really feel alone and hopeless and, lol yeah. that whole big cliche of feelings. that's how i'm feeling. even though i'm able to poke fun at it at times, it's really quite serious as i'm looking into it. the only reasons i haven't yet committed suicide is because 1) i don't want my mom to have a nervous breakdown. she just got married and is in a really good spot in her life and is finally feeling loved and i don't her to miss out on that. 2) i don't want any funeral costs or money of any kinds to be a burden for my family. and 3) i feel that we should be honored to be going through these earth changes into 2012 and me committing suicide would ..i don't know. disappoint my guide? or the ones looking after me?

i think i'm getting frustrated though because i feel alone. there's no one to talk too. my family really just doesn't talk about things. i'm gay, i'm black and i'm a guy - which is three strikes out already if you're living in the black community lol. i really want to find a way to reach out and let people know, but i just don't got the balls to do it. i get really embarrassed and i hate coming across as "that attention-seeking person". you know? especially since i'm more of a listener to everyone's problems in the first place. but i'm just not good at expressing myself. vocally at least. i thought about posting a blog on how i feel on facebook, but that's also pretty embarrassing. i'm at a point where.. i really want people to hear me and hear how i feel, but i'm terrified of being viewed negatively because of it.

chime in, good people :d

[evolving]

i have known a number of people who have chosen suicide, and it only leaves pain for those remaining. although i can't say as to whether it is the right choice, i can say it is not the only choice.

for the sake of those you care about, if not yourself, go to your doctor, or any doctor, and tell them of these thoughts. there is help available, through professionals who deal with suicidal thoughts everyday. these people are of more help than any other avenue, and will help you through your difficult time. i know several people that have gone this route, and it worked for them. they are living and breathing and happy today.

you can be happy too.

[Matthew Clark]

hi marbu13,

well i will say first off, thank you for your honesty, this forum is full of deeply caring, non judgemental and loving people, perhaps you should think about what i have said as you have obviously had a rough ride in life and perhaps have not experienced people like us?

i have several things to say to you and i will say in advance that i will be straight with you. my response to your cry for help will be honest, frank and will be backed with as much love and caring feelings as i am capable of sending, at the very deepest level of my soul.


i've been contemplating suicide for about a year now. i just really feel alone and hopeless and, lol yeah. that whole big cliche of feelings. that's how i'm feeling. even though i'm able to poke fun at it at times, it's really quite serious as i'm looking into it.

to answer this point i would like to ask you a very straight question, maybe a bit too straight but it needs asking... why have you not done it so far? please dont anyone judge me for asking that, there is a reason for the question. in my experience, people do not announce their "intention to commit suicide" and go ahead with it. this is your cry for help, very real to you and i can imagine just how desperate you are feeling because the biggest clue is the fact you have used humour in parts of your post - classic.


the only reasons i haven't yet committed suicide is because 1) i don't want my mom to have a nervous breakdown. she just got married and is in a really good spot in her life and is finally feeling loved and i don't her to miss out on that. 2) i don't want any funeral costs or money of any kinds to be a burden for my family.

now look back at what you have written and see if you can spot the clues? see them?
because you are a bloody kind, sensative caring person who thinks of other people's feelings. you are special, read it again! you are suffering from very very low self esteem and have no feeling of self worth. you can change that so easily. start by taking a look in the mirror and say i love you. thoughts create things - fact! start looking to improve them. a woh is me attitude will only work against you - meaning you have made yourself your own worse enemy. also dont forget that there are many support groups out there who can help you. work on yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself, honour yourself.

mate, we are all in the "end times", we are all pissed off with the way this world is, millions of people are lonely, millions are starving - for gods sake spare a thought for those in countries that are living in a war zone. when i get down, i think of how many people there are in much much worse positions than me. it puts things into perspective. have you thought of talking to your mum about it? dont think you will be a burden to her, she gave birth to you and will use the new love she has found to support you.


i'm gay, black and a guy well i am gay (there are a few on this forum) i am a guy and i am white. what difference does this make? you are human.


three strikes - out already living in a black community

do you mean this or is there an element of self-defeat before you start here? congratulations, you have just described the stereotypical negative portrayal of what it is to be a young black american, which is what "they" want you to believe. you are a powerful human, spiritual in nature and you have the choice whether to believe that or believe the illusion we have been fed that you are worthless.
i looked at your picture (number 2 spoke to me) and this is what i felt. i looked into your eyes and saw, actually i will say felt a very kind, gentle, caring and mis-understood person. you just have to believe it yourself. i can say this - i get a warm feeling from you in that picture. yes i feel some torment and i also feel you are carrying a very heavy burden. sweetheart (gay talk for anyone straight reading this!) you need to believe in yourself. research anything to do with spirituality as that is what you are and were you come from. you will find that as you research, more and more stuff will talk to you. you will find a purpose and a reason to be happy with your life, not suicidle.

if it makes you feel any better i will say this. trust me when i say i know what you must be going through. at 13 years old i sat on a window ledge on the top floor at school wanting to jump because i could not take the bullying anymore. i was bullyed at school and it carried on when i got home with my step dad. 8 years ago (in my mid 30's) i started to go through what can only be described as the darkest days of my life. i went so far down the black pit of terror and despair i thought i would never come back - in fact i prayed every night for my life to end. i have experienced more terror attacks in a few short years than you can imagine. through my own journey of enlightenment, discovery, forgiveness to self and all of those people in my past that hurt me (and i mean true forgiveness) i have been able to heal my emotional turmoil and finally say with heartfelt truth "i am a special person" and finally after all of these years say "i love myself".
it has taken me a lot of courage to write that paragraph on this public forum and i do so in the hope it will make you feel better about yourself.

dont be afraid of being viewed negatively because of who you are and how you feel about yourself. they say a picture paints a thousand words but in your case your picture spoke a few to me. all of those words were what a lovely man you are - i just hope that you start to believe it for yourself. you can pm me if you wish anytime you want to. i cant promise to have all of the answers but i can promise you one thing which is, as one human to another, i will do whatever i can to help you and support you through this difficult time.

there, dont you feel a bit better that a brother (or in our case a sister!;)) in the uk is thinking of you and cares very deeply?

i hope so.

love and light to you, and lots of it

matt
xx

[Liam]

i'm really sorry to hear about your situation marbu. one thing that strikes me in your post is you seem to be extremely worried about what others will think about you if you say the things you want to say. for me this is is the prison that the vast majority of people in the world live in. they live their lives constantly worrying about what other people think of them and they feel trapped because of this. i would advise you to say what you need to say. if you feel you can express yourself better on facebook than vocally, that's fine. those people that genuinely care about you will not think any less of you. in fact they will probably respect you a lot more for dealing with these issues bravely. think about the way you would feel if one of your friends or family were in this situation. you would not laugh at them or dismiss them. you would want to reach out to them and try to help them pull through.

you shouldn't feel that you're showing weakness by saying how you truly feel. quite the opposite. those are some very conscientious thoughts that you've shown there, thinking about how your mother and family would be affected if you committed suicide. as well as considering the fact that you might disappoint your guides and miss out on 2012, just think of all the people that you could potentially serve in the next few years. if you ended your life you would miss out on the opportunity to help others in their spiritual journeys leading up to 2012. your soul is very valuable to this earth. as david constantly reminds us, you are loved more than you could possibly imagine.

when i feel insecure and inadequate, i often read this poem which reminds me that everybody feels the same-
http://www.poetrybycharlescfinn.com/pleasehear.html

you're certainly not alone feeling how you do. concerns about how others will react to what we say are extremely common. i guarantee that if you say what you need to say, you will be surprised by how many people reach out to you. as a member of this forum there will always be people willing to listen to you and offer loving advice. please don't hesitate to contact me if you need somebody to talk to about this.

love and light,

liam

[aqcheryl]

i've been contemplating suicide for about a year now. i just really feel alone and hopeless and, lol yeah. that whole big cliche of feelings. that's how i'm feeling. even though i'm able to poke fun at it at times, it's really quite serious as i'm looking into it. the only reasons i haven't yet committed suicide is because 1) i don't want my mom to have a nervous breakdown. she just got married and is in a really good spot in her life and is finally feeling loved and i don't her to miss out on that. 2) i don't want any funeral costs or money of any kinds to be a burden for my family. and 3) i feel that we should be honored to be going through these earth changes into 2012 and me committing suicide would ..i don't know. disappoint my guide? or the ones looking after me?

i think i'm getting frustrated though because i feel alone. there's no one to talk too. my family really just doesn't talk about things. i'm gay, i'm black and i'm a guy - which is three strikes out already if you're living in the black community lol. i really want to find a way to reach out and let people know, but i just don't got the balls to do it. i get really embarrassed and i hate coming across as "that attention-seeking person". you know? especially since i'm more of a listener to everyone's problems in the first place. but i'm just not good at expressing myself. vocally at least. i thought about posting a blog on how i feel on facebook, but that's also pretty embarrassing. i'm at a point where.. i really want people to hear me and hear how i feel, but i'm terrified of being viewed negatively because of it.

chime in, good people :d

hi marbu,

i sent you a pm :)
on your profile i noticed you joined on my birthday lol

remember that you need to be who you are, and do things for yourself - that includes the choice to stay alive or not. i recommend looking at dr wayne dyers appearance on ellen on youtube.

also, i was just reading davids blog earlier, a transcript of is coast to coast show, and i think here he brings up good points:
http://divinecosmos.com/index.php/start-here/latest-news/345-david-on-coast-part-iii-transcript



jeff: hi, david and george.

g: hey!

jeff: my name‘s jeff. i need some help getting my mind straight.

i‘m going through a divorce that i don‘t want. i can‘t seem to focus. all i... everything that comes to me is negative. i don‘t want to live like that. that‘s not my... that‘s not the way i live. but i can‘t seem to, to stay focused. and i just wondered... how could i block out the negativity, and bring in the positive?

d: well, that‘s a really good question. i‘ve been through three major relationships in my life, each of which ended in a separation and great depression and unhappiness.

jeff: [flat] that‘s where i am right now.

d: yeah.

g: you know what? they say it takes at least a month for every year of the relationship.

jeff: [somber] this is over 13 years.

g: yeah. so it‘s going to take you at least a year to get over this.

jeff: [fatalistic] i don‘t know if i have that much time.

g: oh, you‘ve got to. you‘ve...

jeff: [crushed] i can‘t stay like that for a year, you know?

g: you have to dig down, because one day you‘re going to wake up in the morning, and david will attest to this, you‘re going to wake up in the morning and go, “why did i stress myself out over this? ”

d: [crosstalk] well jeff, i can tell you something...

jeff: i got less of, you know, all the bills and all the animals. i‘ve had two spinal surgeries in the last two years. i can‘t work right now, so i sit home all day alone, just dwelling.

g: well, that‘s the problem! first of all, jeff, you‘re dwelling on this stuff.

jeff: yeah. that‘s what i do!

d: okay. there‘s one thing i want to point out that might not otherwise be mentioned. part of the problem can become a chemical problem.

i noticed that when i was going through these periods, i would be stress eating. it‘s really important that you get some kind of superfood, even if you don‘t think it‘s going to do anything. some kind of super blue-green algae, chlorella or something like that.

g: no sugar, right, david?

d: right, exactly. but take this superfood every day, like even two or three times a day. it‘s loaded with b vitamins and all these things.

what happens is emotions are created by chemicals in the brain. if you don‘t have the chemicals for happiness, which can happen in extreme stress, then you can‘t feel happiness, because your brain doesn‘t have the chemical anymore.

so you can rebuild...

jeff: [crosstalk] what do you mean by superfood?

d: okay. you go to the health food store. you find some kind of powder that‘s green, and you mix it in whatever drink you want to have it in.

g: you know what? water is the best thing.

d: right. exactly. and that, i mean, i know it sounds crazy, but you combine that with also taking something like tryptophan, it‘s called. another form of it is your b vitamins.

the most important thing of all is actually called essential fatty acids - efas, omega 3, 6 and 9, specifically, and more important than that, even, is the superfood.

all i can tell you is that as far as emotional grieving, i recommend journaling. i recommend not trying to run away from the pain, because that‘s what we end up doing.

we indulge in addictive behavior where we‘re basically watching tv or trying to not face it. i recommend going into it, writing about it, experiencing it, letting yourself have it move through you.

what you‘re actually running away from, ultimately, is a projection of yourself. we bring these people into our lives as exaggerated representations of parts of ourselves that we still need to heal.

when we eventually get enough processing behind us, we realize that we were actually on a timeline where we were going to have to grow out of that relationship. eventually we can see that it was beneficial.

but, as george was saying, man, it takes work. you have to just commit to yourself, and realize that life is worth living.

if you actually did commit suicide - i‘m not saying you‘re suicidal at all, but some people might be - that causes an immediate reincarnation, and you have to go through the same thing all over again.

so, it doesn‘t solve anything. what you can do to solve it, though, is to get your nutrition up. get some exercise. get out in the sunlight.

in fact, the rods and cones in the eye are connected to the endocrine system. if you don‘t get full-spectrum light at least 15 minutes a day, which means sunlight without sunglasses, then your endocrine system gets all screwed up, and you can‘t re-absorb those stress hormones.

so, it‘s a complex procedure, but the short and sweet version is: journal about your pain, write it down, try to stay in a meditative state, try to feel for the love and light, try to look for the good whenever you can.

do things to distract yourself, if need be, that are non-chemical in nature. take the superfoods, and really just try to be at peace with yourself, and rediscover yourself if at all possible.

g: and get away from any negativity. as difficult as it is right now.

d: absolutely.

g: but the day will come. the day will come, jeff. you‘ll wake up in the morning and go, “whoa! i can‘t believe i went through all that! ” you know?

d: it‘s layers. you peel up the layers, and you keep going through the pain. and then you think you‘ve got it, and then something triggers you and you get hit again. and you have to move through it again.

you know what? after a while, if you keep doing that work, you might get triggered again, but there‘s this part of ourselves [that is making irreversible growth, and eventually we realize that it just doesn‘t hurt as much, or last as long, anymore.]...

[Habit4ming]

i read this last night, wanted desperately to say something, worried i would say the wrong thing, so i finally decided to come back to this post after a "good night's sleep". please do not do it. please do not commit suicide. you have gotten a lot of good feedback here. it appears, if i have not misread what you wrote, that you are suffering the pain of hiding what you are--gay?? your pain comes through loud and clear. please let matt clarke (who appears to be a real sweetie- from reading his posts/comments) help you, like he has offered. so what if you are gay--i can feel your "goodness". my sister is a lesbian; the "love of my life's" oldest son is gay, one of my best friend's son is gay...they are all "good people", too. i have often concluded that sexuality just isn't all that "cut and dried" and doesn't always fit into neat little categories. the lightworkers need you; please don't give up, and please check in and let us know how you are doing.
i accept you just as you are; i hope you can learn to do the same...

[evolving]

though the people here mean well, i would again like to reiterate

go to your doctor, or any doctor, and tell them of these thoughts. there is help available, through professionals who deal with suicidal thoughts everyday. these people are of more help than any other avenue, and will help you through your difficult time. i know several people that have gone this route, and it worked for them. they are living and breathing and happy today.

[andrewklay]

as much as everything david and other teachers like him teaches resonates with me, recently i am feeling so let down for some reason as if everything i have learned listened to and loved is all just a very big fantasy that me and other people just like me are trying to create because we hate the reality of this earth and the people on it. im starting to think im going to need a real experience to keep my attention i feel like i need to back away from all this stuff for a while and see how i feel. because honestly at this point i dont feel like im getting anywhere but further away from the people in my life, simply because they think im nuts..and maybe i am maybe all this is wishful thinking. i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.

[Anders Lindman]

i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.

my latest view is that it would be strange if earth is the only planet in the entire universe with a civilization. so my guess is that there are a lot of extraterrestrial civilizations. some of them advanced and some of them not advanced yet.

i believe david wilcock and others are correct in saying that earth is in a state of quarantine, that we are in an eggshell sort of that prevents us from contacting other civilizations in a public official way, that all civilizations that are not advanced enough yet are in this kind of quarantine, like unhatched planetary eggs.

this would explain why no advanced extraterrestrial civilization has publicly announced themselves yet. because we have not reached the point yet where the quarantine is removed. we can come to break free from that quarantine soon though since evolution is exponential and is on a steep accelerating slope right now here on earth.

it took billions of years for life to form on earth. it took millions of years for mammals to evolve. it took hundreds of thousands of years for humanity to emerge. it took tens of thousands of years for humans to start using fire. so evolution has this exponential progress, which means that each stage goes faster and faster. we have used stone tools for hundreds of thousands of years, and agriculture for only ten thousand years (at least according to mainstream science) and the industrial revolution only happened a few hundreds years ago. the car is only about a century old. the internet only some decades old, and the world wide web less than two decades old.

we have now entered the information age, and the amount of information and speed of communication is doubling every year or so. and the time span for doubling is becoming shorter and shorter. and information technology is not only about computers but also starts to set the pace for other technologies such as nanotechnology and biotech.

within just a few decades, or even sooner than that, the technology here on earth will reach a rate of progress that goes almost infinitely fast, a so-called technological singularity. my guess is that advanced civilizations are those who have reached a technological singularity (post-singularity civilizations) and that those civilizations who have not reached a technological singularity (pre-singularity civilizations), like our civilization here on earth, are isolated because of the 'eggshell', the state of quarantine that prevents (and protects) a pre-singularity civilization from intergalactic interventions.

and a singularity is i believe not only about technology. it's an evolutionary point that also involves consciousness. technology is a piece of cake. self-improving artificial intelligence with almost god-like powers likely already exists out there in the universe. so it's more a question of becoming civilized, to become a civilization that is capable of using that kind of technology without blowing ourselves to kingdom kong. one does not give a loaded gun to a three-year-old child.

[evolving]

as much as everything david and other teachers like him teaches resonates with me, recently i am feeling so let down for some reason as if everything i have learned listened to and loved is all just a very big fantasy that me and other people just like me are trying to create because we hate the reality of this earth and the people on it. im starting to think im going to need a real experience to keep my attention i feel like i need to back away from all this stuff for a while and see how i feel. because honestly at this point i dont feel like im getting anywhere but further away from the people in my life, simply because they think im nuts..and maybe i am maybe all this is wishful thinking. i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.


funny thing... i think everyone here is sane and i've finally gotten away from the ones who are nuts! everything is perspective. your reality is exactly that, and no one faults you for doing as you need to. take some time off from here and find peace within yourself. then come back when you need to. peace be to you.

[Nomadess 2012]

don't do it!!!
i just read your post and i am at a stressful time in my life as well, have had the same feelings you have at various times in my life (though i'm a single white female), and the funny thing is that i have had an awesome life, and i still get that way sometimes. anyway, due to the stress i am feeling today, your post just made me cry. things are intense right now, everyone is feeling it. i am overwhelmed also, at the number of responses to your post from people who do totally care and understand. so just know that people do understand how you feel, you are so not alone. i think every person on earth has felt that way at some point (not to discount your own feelings). i hope that you make it through this ... the best thing about being sad is eventually you'll be happy again. "if i were never sad, i'd never know when i was happy." know that it will pass and don't judge yourself. sending love and aloha

[MarBu13]

wow. [-said in joey lawrence tone-] thank you guys. iol really, i'm pretty speechless. it would be very stupid of me to say, i didn't expect total strangers to give me this much love - because love is the message david wilcock and the divine cosmos' staff and supporters is sending after all - but i'm really shocked. and i am pretty grateful. i just wanted to leave a message of thanks and to let everyone know that i am doing better. i just get stuck in a deep dark place sometimes and it gets to me, but i promise i am doing so much better. i've gotten tons of help in my personal inbox alone, and it's really amazing.

after rereading my message, i'm sorry i created a big suicide scare. it wasn't intended. it is something i thought about that still crosses my mind, but i've decided long ago that i wouldn't do it. i am still sick and getting much needed help and advice, but someone reminded me that there's people in situations much worse. so, lol i do feel a little embarrassed for hijacking a topic from people who need it more than i do.

at the end of the day, i'm just a weird kid from an extremely loving family whose probably alone because he's sabotaging himself. and i think that's it. i shouldn't have gave the impression that my sexuality or race is what's making me feel different - because i feel different from gay/black people too. but thank you nomadess, evolving, habit4ming, liam and especially aqcheryl and matthew clark. i really appreciate it and i hope neither of you mind if i blow up your inbox with messages and questions sometimes. :d

[aqcheryl]

wow. [-said in joey lawrence tone-] thank you guys. iol really, i'm pretty speechless. it would be very stupid of me to say, i didn't expect total strangers to give me this much love - because love is the message david wilcock and the divine cosmos' staff and supporters is sending after all - but i'm really shocked. and i am pretty grateful. i just wanted to leave a message of thanks and to let everyone know that i am doing better. i just get stuck in a deep dark place sometimes and it gets to me, but i promise i am doing so much better. i've gotten tons of help in my personal inbox alone, and it's really amazing.

after rereading my message, i'm sorry i created a big suicide scare. it wasn't intended. it is something i thought about that still crosses my mind, but i've decided long ago that i wouldn't do it. i am still sick and getting much needed help and advice, but someone reminded me that there's people in situations much worse. so, lol i do feel a little embarrassed for hijacking a topic from people who need it more than i do.

at the end of the day, i'm just a weird kid from an extremely loving family whose probably alone because he's sabotaging himself. and i think that's it. i shouldn't have gave the impression that my sexuality or race is what's making me feel different - because i feel different from gay/black people too. but thank you nomadess, evolving, habit4ming, liam and especially aqcheryl and matthew clark. i really appreciate it and i hope neither of you mind if i blow up your inbox with messages and questions sometimes. :d

this forum is the best ever and is so full of loving people who care about others without even knowing them or feeling they must get something out of it. in fact ive become so spoiled to this forum, that sometimes its even more of a shock when you come across those who do have to get something in return.

i do want to say that sometimes in our darkest moments we do things we normally are completely against. all it takes is just one moment of weakness, and then it doesnt matter. sometimes our subconscious throws out warning signs to look for help, which is why we end up posting from such a place that it can come across as suicidal. and its possible this is what happened here, your higher self through your subconscious was telling you to find help, people to talk to, because otherwise this dark place could really suck you in without realizing.

and i do agree to an extent with evolving, it does help to seek professional help - because sometimes the depression we get is biological due to a lack of nutrients. my mother fights depression, and recently has also found out she has cad which only adds to it... ive been researching the health qualities of hemp, and i opted to buy the oil instead of the seeds, but its rich of essential fatty acids - omega 3's and omega 6's, things we need. the plant also helps the chemicals in the brain and readjust providing a calmer sense of peace. i also have read that it helps the heart, and so im really hoping this will help my mother out. and me, as ive been reading it helps burn food faster and helps lose weight.

i only would advise that when going to a doctor, when someone is feeling suicidal, to be careful who they go to. doctors are not spiritually guided, and oft times make more errors than anything, so discernment is needed.

[Jetamus]

as much as everything david and other teachers like him teaches resonates with me, recently i am feeling so let down for some reason as if everything i have learned listened to and loved is all just a very big fantasy that me and other people just like me are trying to create because we hate the reality of this earth and the people on it. im starting to think im going to need a real experience to keep my attention i feel like i need to back away from all this stuff for a while and see how i feel. because honestly at this point i dont feel like im getting anywhere but further away from the people in my life, simply because they think im nuts..and maybe i am maybe all this is wishful thinking. i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.

i understand the burning a person can feel in wanting to discuss this stuff but right now there just aren't enough people open to it.

also, you sound burnt out or over exposed to ets and such so a time away from it might do you good.

[Zqa One Zero Eight]

peace.

greetings kindred,

jp, rest assured dear brother, you are not alone. that is how i felt since i was a child. as far back as i can remember, i always felt super-imposed onto the world. long were my travels and ventures in search of self and meaning. only when i looked at it all as one panoramic experience did i come to the truth that i was self, all along. and the disconnection that i felt externally, was to the degree that i was not present in this knowing, consciously in the moment. when i rambled in my head over it back and forth i always disengaged from everything and everyone. through much meditation, i learned to settle my energy in my heart in feeling first, in the knowing of myself. from there, all is peace, and in perfect balance. one can extend that peace and balance and bring into harmony everything around them. that is most likely why you have incarnated here and now, as one who grounds and extends higher light.

all is as it should be.

with love and kinship,

peace.

[transiten]

hello andrewclay

i really can identify with you. feelings like yours i've had a hundred times even after discovering divinecosmos and this forum. ii's a common reaction and also in resonance with the loo and free will. don't believe anything just because you read it on the internet.

and all the same, remember that we're all connected which means even those who don't believe in what you believe in. perhaps you were not a "believer" all from the beginning either. perhaps others have psychological insights that you don't have even if you believe in ascension, ufo:s and alternative thechnologies and can see that you are perhaps looking for acknowledgement for lack of love that you perhaps didn't get from your parents, friends or classmates?

at least for me that has been a hughe problem. also david says that feeling outcast and different is a prerequisite for spiritual seeking.

try to be tolerant, send pple your love anyway and even if they don't resonate with your beliefs they can be kind and helpful persons anyway. of course if they reject you altogether and ridicule you all the time you should not stay in their company. take a break and see what happens. i've been struggling with this for years, i'm turning 60 this year and slowly learning to let go, "laying down my sword and shield to walk with the prince of peace down by the riverside".

transiten

[Matthew Clark]

marlon,

thanks for the pm - you are more than welcome.

speaking for all of us, it is great to see you have reached a better place.

we all get stuck in dark places from time to time, welcome to humanity, but it is important to remember that no matter how dark that space we find ourselves in, there is always a light to be found. you may have to scrape about for it a little but i promise you it is never far away, you just need to open your heart and find it.

you know i love our forum. it is the only place in the world where we can talk about aliens on one thread, dimensional shifts on another and send love to people on another - and the best part of it is the fact that no-one judges us or ridicules us ;)

you have not hijacked anything and your hour of need is every bit as important as anyone elses on here. should you go downhill again, get back on the forum and ask for help. there is no greater feeling in the world than being able to help someone in need - and indeed being asked for the help in the first place. personally i think you needed to write your post and know there are people out here who do care. you deserve appplause for your honesty and courage.

here are a few lines from one of my all time favourite songs....

the power of love
a force from above
cleaning my soul
flame on burn desire
love, with tongues of fire
purge the soul
make love your goal

now if only the other 6.5 billion people would take those words to heart!!

you know where we are should you need us.

thank you for the update and i wish you all the best that life can throw your way.

with love and light to you and your family,

matt :)

[AwakeningFP]

as much as everything david and other teachers like him teaches resonates with me, recently i am feeling so let down for some reason as if everything i have learned listened to and loved is all just a very big fantasy that me and other people just like me are trying to create because we hate the reality of this earth and the people on it. im starting to think im going to need a real experience to keep my attention i feel like i need to back away from all this stuff for a while and see how i feel. because honestly at this point i dont feel like im getting anywhere but further away from the people in my life, simply because they think im nuts..and maybe i am maybe all this is wishful thinking. i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.

let me share my own personal experience. as i look back at my life, i realize that i have been all alone even though i had an abundance of relatives, friends and acquaintances. i moved around a lot.

school years: i attended five different schools in my kindergarten to eight grade years. after leaving each of these schools, only one friend ever acknowledged my existence. however, i contact him. he has never contacted me.

high school years: i attended four different schools. i was on the track team two of those years. i was voted class president my junior year. in my senior year i had two close friends. we use to take our dates home and then go to the drive in movies. i have never heard from any of my "friends" after moving away.

college years: i was in a new start-up fraternity and held the post of vice president one year. another year i was pledge master. after graduation, one of my fraternity brothers visited me in california while he was on a business trip. i've never heard from any fraternity brother or college friend.

family years: i was married for 17 unhappy years. my wife cheated on me and left. my three children rarely contact me.

religious years: i spent 25 years in a religious organization and had many, many "loving friends" who were only friends during services. upon leaving the organization to search for answers concerning "the same stuff from the same people every year over and over" as well as "the same stuff from the same people every year over and over" from the world around me, i became ostracized.

it took me well over a year of reading and researching before i realized that happiness and peace only can come from within. as a result i have discover me, which is a wonderful thing because today i have only one person i can call a friend. of all my relatives, i have only my father, stepmother, and one aunt alive. ok. i have numerous cousins, but they are not interested in me. i have six half-brothers and sisters, but they are not interested in me. so, out of all of the relatives i have alive, my father (a minister), my aunt and one of my sons are the only ones who communicate with me. oh, i get in touch with them. you have to realize, they think i'm nuts.:d

i have accepted my loneliness. it has been a little longer than 2 and a half years since i started my new journey. after i found myself i have enjoyed a real happiness, peace and a few mystical experiences. at times, i marvel at the amount of happiness i feel.

andrew, once you really discover who you are and that you and i and everyone else are one, then the "real experience to keep my [your] attention" will begin and multiply.

[Truthstudent]

this message goes out to all those who stated their pressing "needs" for work,money, etc..ther is much truth in the secret but like many otheres i felt it fell far short of its stated aim. i would direct your attention to gregg braden's marvelous book [please pm for title]. gregg did an incredible indepth study of what constitutes "effective prayer". the main thing which came out of it and what my guides taught me years ago is that when you pray for something you are merely emphasizing the idea that you do not have it. change your wordin around along with your attitude if you want to pray effectively. it is done thusly. first you must get it firmly fixed in your mind and imagination that everything that you will ever need is yours already and it has always been that way and always will be that way.once you get the picture in your mind of what you desire then make a positive mantra for yourself such as, "i have my perfect employment, thank you father!" or "thank you father for showing me the perfect home, job, person, (whatever your desire is). you must actually conjure up a feeling of gratitude that it has already happened and this is best done by remembering something wonderful that happened in the past that you were overwhelmingly grateful for and then holding on to that feeling of gratitude, think about your desire (not need) and surround it with that feeling of gratitude and state your gratitude aloud. the more joyously and exhuberantly the better. do this often until it is realized in physical form. visualize it as a done deal and express great gratitude for it haveing been already done.
remember you are not separate from the thing you desire. all you have to do is accept that it is already here, now and be grateful. be grateful for everything that happens in your life no matter how small or how terrible it might seem initially because when you express gratitude you will more quickly see the blessing in disguise. we once did an exercise many years ago in the first christian church that i belonged to in dallas and it was called ptla (praise the lord anyway) and the stories that people in the church told of the blessings they received as a result of giving thanks for everything that happened was totally amazing. another "secret" tip that my guides imparted to me was that no matter what i was doing i should be doing it with everything in me and rejoicing because i was given honest labor to do no matter how trivial it might seem. go mow the neighbor's lawn or pick up trash or do some volunteer work or clean house for your wife or whatever and never mind whether the neighbor says thank you or not or pays you or not. that is not the object of the exercise. when you show you are willing to work the universe will give you more work until the "right" work comes along for you. do your best to not let yourself fall back into the feeling of desperation and lack and fear. you might think you are alone and helpless but i am here to tell you you are surrounded by a veritable army of angels and guides and helpers just itching to help you out. but first of all you must be in motion!!!! you cannot guide a vehicle that is sitting still!!! even if you are going in the wrong direction it doesn't matter as long as you continue moving. you can be steered in a circle back to the right direction as long as you keep moving! and being gratefull for everything you have. make a list of absolutely everything you can think of that you have to be grateful for and read it daily and feel the gratitude!! and know that you are safe in the arms of those who love you very much and have given their service to you unstintingly as guides and angels! my two favorite prayers come from unity. the prayer of protection (note not for but of) "the light of god surrounds me. the love of god enfolds me. the power of god pretects me, the presence of god watches over me. wherever i am, god is and all is well. thank you mother father god for everything."
the second is the prayer of prosperity and abundance and is used as a blessing upon all money and gifts we give as it leaves our hands going to another.
"divine love, flowing through me, blesses and multiplies, all that i am, all that i have, all that i give and all that i receive. thank you mother father god for everything! and so it is !! amen!
i hope this helps all of you in sme way or other.these principles have sustained me and my family of six through some extremely troubled and trying times. just when things seem the darkest that is when you really need to roll out the gratitude!!!! oh and do not forget to say thank you to the small army of vounteers who surround you 24 hours a day and watch over you and guide you! blessings to you all!
namaste'
truthstudent

[j_stubler]

andrewclay --- i know exactly where you are coming from because i am and have been in your place for quite some time now. you get to a point where you just want one, unambiguous, clear piece of reality that you can hang your hat on. i get all the well-meaning replies about the law of uncertainty, the nature of reality and yada yada yada. i'm with you brother, we are looking for that life preserver in the storm ... hope one comes soon ...

[Richie]

i have been starting to have these feelings as well. constantly trying to prove to my self that this is all true and leaving it up to what ever it is you want to call it to give me something so that i can know for 100% despite what anybody else may tell me that this is true. i feel as though i need something soon to help me but im sure its going to have to be a first hand expeirence of some sorts that will answer all my questions and allow me to make peace with all of the insecurities i have about life or even physical existence in general.

[jellyfish]

i can relate to the posts above. i'm definately the 'oddest duck' of all those i know. i keep mostly to myself, but it's not so bad at all. i'm always learning and re-learning how to release the old wounds and judgements regarding my existence here and am discovering a vastly more open and accepting 'person' in myself in the process. of course the journey is endless, but learning to just be okay with who i am, as i am, seems to be the key to...just being okay (and more) :)

this site has helped me tremendously, no doubt. to realize there might be so, so much more to this mundane and often cruel existence is like cool water to a man lost in the desert. i too struggle with feelings of doubt and cinicism at times, and think of myself as a dreaming fool, lost in fantasy. but as long as i continue to keep an open mind, it keeps getting reassured. the signs seem to be popping up everywhere now.

for instance, just the other night i was visiting my mom. we've had some conversations regarding these matters (the possible reality of the "illuminati", the possible reality of et's visiting us and all that entails), that by the end usually have me feeling flustered and 'unheard' in the face of her pragmatic skepticism. i'm sure we're all familiar with this feeling. well, as we were sitting there, and as she was flipping through the tv channels, she stopped on a pretty well-respected cable channel (starts w an h, rhymes with 'mystery') which just so happens to be airing a very thoughtfully filmed documentary about the actual reality of the ufo/et phenomenon. i was quite suprised at how respectable this was and how bluntly and serioulsy it presented the subject matter. at first she was a bit dismissive, but she decided to humour me and watch. as the special progressed and more and more 'official' types (astronauts, pilots, military, politicians, police) were interviewed about their beliefs, knowledge and experience regarding ufo's and et's and clearly in full possession of their mental faculties, she fell silent and attentive. by the end, she was like "wow. well...that's hard to dismiss, i'll say that much". i'm sure the look on my face betrayed my sense of satisfaction ;) ha! (can't help it...tooold you sooooo :d)

my main challenge personally i think is the sense of anticipation. it feels like something's building, building, building...it's palpable. the 'payoff', so to speak, feels so close yet infinately far away. is it actually possible that we are going to take this next step? this is where that nagging sense of 'too good to be true' begins to creep in and spoil my mood. hope mixed with doubt. the fear of disappointment is powerful and is something i don't want to face as a possible reality. but what's truly almost too much to grasp is that i don't think we're going to be disappointed! i really think that we, the people of this world, at this time, are going to be the ones to finally, finally see this whole constructed, manipulated, controlled reality give way to something so much better for all of us, for the whole world. it's truly my heart's deepest longing and that's really all i can say about it. i can sometimes look around me and think 'this is all there is. you're a fool to believe otherwise', as it seems so many people believe, but that longing just never goes away. and with it comes hope. here's to hope!

we're here together now folks, and we're soooo close to being 'there'. this is it. the twelfth hour and fifty ninth minute. feel that. can you feel it? may we all be celebrating together very shortly (and if it takes three more years or so, so be it! what's three years in the big scheme of things? the twinkling of an eye, really) :d

cheers,
jellyfish

[evolving]

you know i love our forum. it is the only place in the world where we can talk about aliens on one thread, dimensional shifts on another and send love to people on another - and the best part of it is the fact that no-one judges us or ridicules us ;)

oh, i'm sure people ridicule us, but we just don't know it because all the posts are checked before being allowed to post ! [thanks to all who do the checking ;)]

i'm just figuring out how to tell people what i'm talking about, and the most receptive are those i used to think were "way out there". anyone who seems to have conventional thoughts just doesn't get it. i think they get lost the at the first mention of aliens lol...

[chillhour101]

the life preserver in the storm is learning to 'ground' yourself. sounds to me like a beeeeaaaauuuutiful crown chakra activation.

another person can literally send a powerful intent to snatch your body and firmly plant you on earth. allow yourself a 'timeout.' you have to power to slow down and request (demand) a timeout.

after going through this experience once, you will get better at recognizing when you are 'lifting off' so to speak, and control the process so that it's at a slower pace.

sounds to me like you are heading towards omega conciousness. we function, mostly in beta state, (alpha is during sleep, and theta is unconcious). we don't get to omega 'overnight.' infact, we kinda collapse from theta, to omega.

this happened to me too. an altered state of conciousness/awareness, i liken too a 'waking trance.' the 'ride' is very rough, particularly when you don't know what's happening. it's like an out-of-body experience, but you are awake.

be sure to eat, drink plenty of fluids, and quality sleep. i had to take two tylenol pm's for a couple nights. knowledge are the tools that will help you through this process. google whatever comes to mind and keep a journal.

personally, i wonder if annurism (psychosis) isn't the result of someone who doesn't make it *back* successfully.

there is a decompression that occurs entering an altered state and a 'compression' when coming out of an altered state (of awareness). i literally heard my brain 'bubbling, snap, crackle, pop, kinda thing.' this is where normal people sense themself to be gurus and gods (which you are, but) stay grounded.

focusing on earth helped me (i actually heard an 'inner voice' clearly tell me, "focus on earth"). heartfelt intention is very powerful in this state of awareness.

lastly, there are universal 'safeguards' in place, for your safety and others.

does this help?

[Matthew Clark]

hi andrew,

well it would appear you have hit a bit of a nerve if the number of replies you have generated is anything to go by.

i did think about replying on "i really need some help thread" because i know this is off thread but the mods have posted them here so i will keep my fingers crossed that this one gets through too! ;)

i feel for you and i have to admit that i would be telling a lie if i did not admit to myself that i have gone through the exact same feelings of doubt as you are going through.

every now and again, i also "doubt", simply because we are constantly bombarded with the negative aspects of this system. i do not know where you are from as your profile does not say but i am in the uk. last week the media started stepping up a gear about the fact that the first of the swine flu vaccinations were to be started this week. yesterday (wednesday) they started administering the vaccine to the most "at risk" group. health workers, babies, mothers and the elderly. i have stopped watching the news but if i am in my car, i do listen to it on the radio. my heart broke for all of those people who had taken it. the next story was linked to the vaccine and said that 2 schools (nearby) have had to close because of the number of people who have gone down with the swine flu - interesting timing ! hmmmmm.

this again was another example of how the negative messages in the media affects us. we are advised not to fear, but to be honest it can be hard not to, especially now things are kicking off.

now i dont want to be negative here as this is a very positive forum but i will say one thing which i have felt. i am a great fan of david, his work and his message. he is an inspiration and a bright light of hope in a very sad world. the only "gripe" i have is the fact that having followed his work and blogs for years, the weakening/breakdown of the ruling elite has been a theme in his work for many a year. there have been many references from david over a long period of time about the fact the ruling elite are crumbling/losing their power etc. so far (and i am not passing blame in any way) all i have seen is what appears to be the eilte getting stronger. the swine flu vaccination being a big one for me.
it does get rather confusing and maybe someone reading this can offer some advice to me.
svali, the high ranking illuminati defecter said (not sure when the interview was done but i know david has made reference to it in the past) "they" are planning a total collapse of the economy. now if it does collapse - or when should i say - is this the "good thing" david mentioned a couple of blogs ago or is it a deliberate set up by the ptb?

all of these scenarios cause us to doubt that "it" will ever happen and in the meantime allow us headspace to doubt the positive side.

personally, my neighbour stopped talking to me for 4 months, a few people at work seem to think i am from another planet (little do they know;)), my mother changes the subject the very second i mention spirituality and my so called best friend has contacted me zero times in a month. it is all very frustrating and reminds me of something david icke said when he started out on his journey. he said that he had to put up with so much crap that he thought of forgetting it altogether as if this was what being spiritual was about then forget it!

so we have 2 choices here as i see it. first we can forget it and just give in (for want of a better expression). second we can stick with it and press on.

now if we take the first option, we are in effect turning our back on the truth. i have seen many people turn their backs on religion after many years and have no regrets when they find their own spiritual path. setting aside the affect this journey has had on me with fellow workmates, friends and families, i am therefore left to ask myself a question. can i turn my back on what i know to be true? no of course not. i know that no matter what happens, the laws of the universe will have to balance the scales at some point.

like many on here, i am also frustrated with this system and cannot wait for a big positive event to happen for us all. thankfully i am at the london conference which starts tomorrow so at least i will be able to mix with like minded people and get a spiritual fix. god knows i could do with it just now.

all the best andrew and the rest of you who are struggling at the moment.

peace and love,

matt

[aqcheryl]

oh, i'm sure people ridicule us, but we just don't know it because all the posts are checked before being allowed to post ! [thanks to all who do the checking ;)]

i'm just figuring out how to tell people what i'm talking about, and the most receptive are those i used to think were "way out there". anyone who seems to have conventional thoughts just doesn't get it. i think they get lost the at the first mention of aliens lol...

i think though that basically if you take the time to join this forum, its because you have become acquainted with davids message - which basically stems from et source (ra/loo) so im not so sure the ridicule exists on this forum as people think.

also yes this forum is moderated, but people who disagree would still be able to post. theres no censorship here.

we all fall into the trap of placing judgment on something we disagree with, but for the most part, people are accepting on this forum. and i think thats what matthew is pointing out there - its not that its 100% no ridicule, its just that its not often.

those who get lost at the first mention of aliens, more than likely never even make it to this forum lol

[aqcheryl]

as much as everything david and other teachers like him teaches resonates with me, recently i am feeling so let down for some reason as if everything i have learned listened to and loved is all just a very big fantasy that me and other people just like me are trying to create because we hate the reality of this earth and the people on it. im starting to think im going to need a real experience to keep my attention i feel like i need to back away from all this stuff for a while and see how i feel. because honestly at this point i dont feel like im getting anywhere but further away from the people in my life, simply because they think im nuts..and maybe i am maybe all this is wishful thinking. i dont want to doubt i would want nothing more than for all of this to be true and to get to experience it but right now i dont see anything changing i dont see anyone being any different its just the same stuff from the same people every year over and over.


this is the hardest part, is it not? we want to see some form of proof for what we believe - to know we are not delusional for believing. but you know what? what everyone else believes, even fundamentalists - they have no proof either.

usually when we feel we want to see some action, some proof, it is not so much for us as it is for them - to show them that we are not wrong.

we continuously fall into the trap of looking to others for guidance - from religious leaders to political leaders, parents and mentors - looking to someone else for the answer - but therein lies the problem. that is not where you will get the answers you seek, for they are within.

i find when i meditate and can connect, and let go, i get that proof. when i stop my mind, and still receive information - that is proof enough for me. when i feel instinctively and in my heart that this is true - thats how i know. and im usually the biggest skeptic out there for anything good to happen to me. and this - this would be good to me.

granted, i do want proof, and also for things to start happening. but now is all we have, and it shouldnt be wasted on impatience for future events. if we continously strive to look towards the future, we miss the now and cannot reclaim it. and so many things happen in the now, that we overlook.

but if we want to see change, it first has to come from within. we cannot look to others to change our scenario, and that includes ets. and its the same from the creator/universe. you have to do your part. and sometimes we feel like we are doing our part... but we really are not. wishing is not enough, we have to implement these changes. once we start this path, once we set ourselves to it, only then, may we receive actual assistance. but we have to be the catalyst for change - no one else.

i do want to add though that there is proof on the spiritual side - that we are evolving and a greater consciousness is coming. regardless if 2012, or ets, or disclosure of any kind happens - we are evolving. look at ten years ago compared to now. there is a huge difference. people are less bigoted, they are striving to help each other more, materialism is beginning to shed.
and although not everyone is catching up to this, so we will still see the negative things like bigotry - it doesnt mean the positive is outweighing it.

we have to expand ourselves.

i would also suggest that you protect yourself with a spiritual shield because it sounds to me that you are under negative attack. remember that they are against us being even remotely positive, so they attack those beacons of light in any way form or manner - including sending negative thoughts veiled as our own.

also - in everything - there must be a balance. alot of us here have been falling towards the spiritual scale, and that is not balance, nor is it lessons learned. remember there is joy in the most simple of things, that we usually lose sight or focus of when we first learn about the greater good. going to see a movie or a hockey game with your friends - well that brings joy to your heart. is it time well used to better your spiritual growth? actually yes it is, because whenever you heart is happy, your spirit is happy, and it blooms.

we do not need to take this weight on our shoulders, we just need to be. so you dont need to be all or nothing - you dont need to step aside completely. all you need to do is, bring back more physical things in your life. we were not incarnated in this physical form not to experience physical things.

some people speak in such a way that i am left with the impression they see 3d existence as hell. but i dont. i see that we should be grateful for what we do have now because when we do evolve we are going to lose much. it is logical that as we shed individuality, we also lose some of the depth of our emotion, because one cannot exist without the other. perhaps in 4d, this emotion will be lessened to some degree, and we will have lost that depth. so enjoy the now - enjoy it while you have it, and keep the balance in your life by keeping the spiritual.

if people are not open to talking to you about this kind of stuff, then dont talk to them about it. talk here with people who do share it. it doesnt make it any less of a reality.

we need to stop wishing on the sky, and become more connected with gaia - the gift with which we have been given. the greatest spiritual lesson is when we learn to appreciate what we have, and not wish for more. once we learn that, then more will come, for we will have earned it.


it took billions of years for life to form on earth. it took millions of years for mammals to evolve. it took hundreds of thousands of years for humanity to emerge. it took tens of thousands of years for humans to start using fire. so evolution has this exponential progress, which means that each stage goes faster and faster.

right - exactly - this is another thing. we can see the proof of our evolution there - but we can also see that we shouldnt place high expectations that we will even experience these things in this incarnation. again, it doesnt mean its not real. but if continue to place more value on the anticipation of the future, we lose sight of who we are in this moment.


andrewclay --- i know exactly where you are coming from because i am and have been in your place for quite some time now. you get to a point where you just want one, unambiguous, clear piece of reality that you can hang your hat on. i get all the well-meaning replies about the law of uncertainty, the nature of reality and yada yada yada. i'm with you brother, we are looking for that life preserver in the storm ... hope one comes soon ...

this reminds me that just recently i had one. someone else can pinpoint where this is - but there was a crop circle formation earlier this year - that when translated, depicted a solar event in relation to an eclipse if i remember correctly. they even pinpointed the date. and when that date passed, the information came back that the sun had several large cme's - at the exact time we were 'advised'. to me - thats proof of et.

http://www.cropcircleconnector.com/2009/martinsellhill/articles.html
"in summary, martinsell of june 25, 2009 showed three clear and distinct symbols for “coronal mass ejection”, “penumbral lunar eclipse” and “moonrise on july 7, 2009”."

and here from nasa that very date:
http://www.nasa.gov/vision/universe/watchtheskies/july7_cme.html

[Anders Lindman]

right - exactly - this is another thing. we can see the proof of our evolution there - but we can also see that we shouldnt place high expectations that we will even experience these things in this incarnation. again, it doesnt mean its not real. but if continue to place more value on the anticipation of the future, we lose sight of who we are in this moment.


but the thing is that when the exponential curve of evolution starts to accelerate, then change will happen very fast indeed. david wilcock has talked a lot about the accelerating change going on and even mainstream experts say that we will reach a technological singularity within just a couple of decades. and that's probably a conservative estimate because they make these projections based only on the progress in the public society. things may change faster than that, perhaps even 2012 is when a singularity of some sort will happen.

even as the change starts to accelerate, many things will remain the same. television for example didn't make radio obsolete, and the web hasn't made television obsolete. i think there will still be things like mcdonald's, microsoft and coca-cola even after the singularity.

i believe a singularity ultimately is about the evolution of consciousness, and that the technological change is only one aspect of it. but even if we only look at the mainstream technological progress, that in itself can lead to us being able to extend our lifespans indefinitely. i'm counting heavily on being able to live several thousands of years in this lifetime. :d heck, we haven't as a race and civilization even begun to travel among the stars yet. we are still a very 'young' civilization.

here is a short clip with ray kurzweil, one of the leading experts about the technological singularity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zor261hkgoi

[aqcheryl]

but the thing is that when the exponential curve of evolution starts to accelerate, then change will happen very fast indeed. david wilcock has talked a lot about the accelerating change going on and even mainstream experts say that we will reach a technological singularity within just a couple of decades. and that's probably a conservative estimate because they make these projections based only on the progress in the public society. things may change faster than that, perhaps even 2012 is when a singularity of some sort will happen.

even as the change starts to accelerate, many things will remain the same. television for example didn't make radio obsolete, and the web hasn't made television obsolete. i think there will still be things like mcdonald's, microsoft and coca-cola even after the singularity.

i believe a singularity ultimately is about the evolution of consciousness, and that the technological change is only one aspect of it. but even if we only look at the mainstream technological progress, that in itself can lead to us being able to extend our lifespans indefinitely. i'm counting heavily on being able to live several thousands of years in this lifetime. :d heck, we haven't as a race and civilization even begun to travel among the stars yet. we are still a very 'young' civilization.

here is a short clip with ray kurzweil, one of the leading experts about the technological singularity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zor261hkgoi

yes but my point is how many people notice it? yet its happening. and those of us who are noticing it - how many of us truly see all that is happening, or are we merely feeling small effects of a much larger scale that is yet unknown. everything working in the background that we do not know or realize is happening, all to come together and help us grow.

also, its not exactly a matter of saying to be prepared if nothing happens on that specific date - what im saying is that we might not notice the change as most of us are expecting to.

some expect doomsday, some expect immediate ascension, and others expect at the very least an evolutionary upgrade. however there is a chance that none of these will occur right on that date. everything has a gradual process to it. so something could happen on that date that perhaps the way we were a decade ago, or even five years ago, would have been a massive shock and impact on us. now... its quite possible we will not notice it. it doesnt mean nothing will happen, it merely means it might not be in your face noticeable.

thats what im trying to convey...im not trying to convey nothing will happen at all.

but i agree with you on the rest, we are a very young civilization indeed - and it really does feel like we are ready to take that next evolutionary step (which takes time in of itself) but we need to evolve before we can progress. and that is what i think is coming our way. that human upgrade.

[evolving]

and that is what i think is coming our way. that human upgrade.

bipedal ape mind/body/spirit complex version 2.0 in but a blink of the eye :d

[divona]

hi brother! i am new here, read your distress signal with my heart and you are not alone.
i would like to try to encourage you (us?) a bit, in a humble way from my position that overlaps with yours at this time- no doubt you are totally stresed and desperate,nothing comes out of it, only negative synchronicities so i will say better first really calm down, really.
why so eager to help "others" right now? help yourself and by that the world is better already it is really enough. i agree the 3d is really repelling.
i bet your family want to see you happy with or without a job, also it sems like all the new age stuff kind of mess with your mind...do not count 5 years for the change but you do the change now it is independent now.
for the home sickness i can only say that the more that i am aware/awake i see that we/i come from many different places, so at first i would whine i want to home x, but then i realized i am from y and z ect...so the matter became more to come back to the home inside the authentic self and the home thing will come.remember that we are asked to do all we can by yourselves and what we cannot do we will be helped.unfortunatelly the universe is not impressed by our suffering or being stubborn of our way just because "we are good and spiritual"...tried that...
also maybe new understanding of self love and faith definition required at this stage.
go up for no reason it is same energy different direction -i count on you!
about the job, this is tough...but maybe start part time with stuff like gardening,clown,washing dogs anything light that you have not to commit much and gives some joy even not much money just to start rolling...be cool, be light, no virtue in cynism and forgive my poor english!
we will make it whatever it means.
hugs
divona

[jpstephens2012]

heh. greetings to all.

it's rather humbling, after being absent from these threads for such a long time, to return to see this thread in such a prominent location. it's strange how the wailing and knashing of teeth of one individual can serve as a catalyst for the positive spiritual growth of so many others. i am in such a different place from where i was when i originally posted this plea.

i have noticed that lately i have been being bombarded by so many memories from the past, and at 56 that's quite a few, of things that took place all the way back to childhood. random episodes of people, places, and situations i was involved in, now demand my attention to analyse and clear away the hurt, anger, and resentment in order to move forward with a clearer, purer perspective.

this is the 2012 experience. it has become so intense that it is very noticable and identifiable as an evolution of consciousness. i am so thankful that i was allowed to be here for this period. every day that goes by brings new understanding and new perspective on the things going on around me. it's like i am surrounded by light in a pit of darkness, everywhere there are rays beaming down that expose and burn away every effort of the dark side to maintain the status quo. it's like i am in the world but no longer of it. almost nothing can penetrate the shield of light energy that surrounds me, and those things that do, no longer have the power to control or effect me for more than a few minutes as i process them and clear them away.

what a different place to be in than when i originally scripted this post.

it's funny, things are not all that different than when i originally posted. i'm still unemployed but i now receive disability because of severe arthritic degeneration of the lumbar region of the spine ( a problem i've had for 15 years), most of the home contention that existed before still exists but the intensity is 95% reduced, my wife is unemployed but receiving ouub, obama's unending unemployment benefits. i see the world as it previously existed crumbling away around me and know that this too will pass.

david is right on with his synopsis of the future, and the nature of reality. i am so thankful to him for the years of effort and work put into bringing this knowledge to us. his work has been an anchor to my sanity through these miserable times, and i look forward to his future efforts. thank you david, may your path always be straight and filled with the light.

many things are about to unfold before us. the sense of apprehension that fills the air indicates that a lot of intense activity will be taking place in the near future. there is an undercurrent of behind the scenes activity that is about to burst forth onto the consciousness of the mainstream. our world is changing rapidly, stay in your light and be at peace, i believe the twinkling of the eye is imminent.

love and light,

jim stephens

[Bill]

jim,

i have been thinking about this lately, and your post triggered the desire to say something. i have a lot of similarities with you: about the same age; been unemployed since april, my wife is working at a 'full-time' job which is adding to the household income, but still no where near where we were.

i really do feel like the only one in the room, so to speak, that sees that the emperor is really naked. i see the chemtrails in the sky, but when i mention them to others, i get the crazy aunt sally look, or no one else even notices them. someone had mentioned the other day that there are no new bills in circulation, in anticipation of the amero being introduced. had not thought about that, until i started thinking back on the checks i had cashed at the banks... and today, the newest bill i got was from 2006.

at this point in time, i really can't imagine the magnitude of the impact of a disclosure announcement. i see too many folks around me still 'chasin the american dream', and can't even really see how something like that would be: understood, accepted, or not feared.

i am thankful for the community that does exists, and openly shares with us, so i don't have to get the 'crazy aunt sally' stares all the time. i am trying my best to be centered, positive, and bringing out my higher self at all times, and not trying to force the others to see that the emperor is not wearing clothes.

if this unfolds as stated, these next few months are going to be one hell of a ride...:eek:

[jpstephens2012]

it is such a strange thing. have you ever encountered someone in your life that you don't seem to know who later affects you profoundly? you start to realize that somehow you know that person and that they are actually a very close friend from some distant past?

i have encountered such an individual on these forums. i can't even think about him without experiencing a profound sense of loss and breaking down to tears. maybe someone can explain this to me. i only had a couple of interactions with him on here and yet i miss his continued presence in these forums intensely. robert riedel. :( someone please tell me i'm not just some kind of nut case.

[transiten]

hello jpstephens

i can tell you i had a lot of synchronicities with bob. i'm also a musiscian and singer and there is a famous bassplayer like him in sweden; georg riedel and the day after telling bob there was this magazine in my post with this man on the front side.

also while attending a mediumshipcourse he made contact with me through one of my classmates. it was when he apparently was "in between" this world and the other side since he medium said she was feeling like she was wawering from side to side.

she first said bob "seager" and i thought well i'm from the flower power generation so...but then she said "like jimi hendrix you know" and then i slowly realized he was referring to this extremely funny video with the pensionist version of "talking 'bout my generation" that made me laugh my but off when buster the famous 100year old leadsinger smasched the guitar into pieces.

the medium also said he was pulling her ear telling her that he had to use her energy since she is a rocksinger (we were the only professional singers/musiscians in the group)
he also showed a pictureframe indicating that this was something i had to finish....realized it's an enormous golden frame standing beside the computor i inherited from my mother that i together with a lot of other stuff must sell along with a load of stuff that is just "crowding my space and blocking my pace".

i was really humbled to have this message from a forummember that i had not actually had that much communication with, but there was this feeling of instant connection with someone from my own generation. i've been singing some rock and had a relationship with a rockmusiscian though mainly i've been into foksinging/prostest/chanson. at the moment there seems not to be anyone like him on the forum unless you count david in, but sadly enough he doesn't have the time to post anymore.

what more i can identify a lot with your situation jpstephens. i lost my caréer for reasons i have described elsewhere and coming upon this forum i was posting a lot about my fears,doubts and loneliness and thing is; my situation is even "worse" when it comes to engaements or finding a meaningful job but i don't feel that desperate about it anymore. i have my "dips" but slowly some sense of trust is growing despite the swineflu, vaccineshots, pneumoniaplague and release of the doom and gloommovie 2012 tonight on friday nov 13:eek:

i was even joking with my 88 year old father saying we will all die aomehow so it might just as well be from a comet..it will be swift anyway and we can watch it come together...and you know he was actually laughing......he is an aquarian of course if you happen to know anything about the most stereotype superficial aquarian treats:d

when the moon is in the 7:th house an jupiter aligns with mars....it is the dawning of the age of aquarius...........

....the hour when the ships come in (dylan)

goodnight from transiten

[dctalk]

in david's posts, he talks about the economic collapse (or inconveniences) of the us economy and/or dollar.

spiritually, i'm actually looking forward to it. many people are talking about it. i'd love an economy free of the economic slavery system in place now. i know many of us no longer "fit in" the the current economic system.

so many of us are already feeling "disconnected" to the economy or completely disinterested in participating in the systems of economic slavery.

what does economic or dollar collapse look like? how does it affect us day-to-day as physical beings?

mayan scholar carl calleman says 2010 might see a freeze or forgiveness of mortgages as many people will not be able to pay (and as the us will request international forgiveness of its debts).

what about day-to-day bills? food? commerce? spiritual growth?

is it going to look like russia? the us great depression? something else? (and what do those options look like?)

or will disclosure usher in help or relief?

[NabeelC]

hi, i have a personal question that any one can answer.

there has been a sadness feeling within me. for years, and still do, i feel so sad, like for no apparent reason. i cant explain it. its just there.

i really want to stop feeling so sad, and find the real reason for it. i think it has to do with spiritual awakening and other things. i really don't know.

there's a youtube video where someone on the british "x factor" feels so sad too. i dont know her real name. i can show you the video if you ask for it.

does some one else share the same feeling.

of feeling "so sad" for a long time (years) and how to get rid of it.


thanks a lot.

[Matthew Clark]

hi guys,


it is such a strange thing. have you ever encountered someone in your life that you don't seem to know who later affects you profoundly? you start to realize that somehow you know that person and that they are actually a very close friend from some distant past?

i have encountered such an individual on these forums. i can't even think about him without experiencing a profound sense of loss and breaking down to tears. maybe someone can explain this to me. i only had a couple of interactions with him on here and yet i miss his continued presence in these forums intensely. robert riedel. someone please tell me i'm not just some kind of nut case.

i never had any dealings with robert but i know he was responsible for the thread "music to soothe the savage beast within" which is a great thread. it is always rather special when you have that sort of connection with a person, especially when they have such a positive uplifting affect on you. i know he was well loved and highly thought of.

perhaps he belongs to your soul group? i know that i have had similar feelings about people and cannot explain the affect either. i guess we should be thankful these people come into our lives in the first place, even if it is for just a short time.

let me assure you that you are not nuts - just blessed to have had a wonderful experience with such a kind and caring soul.


i have been thinking about this lately, and your post triggered the desire to say something. i have a lot of similarities with you: about the same age; been unemployed since april, my wife is working at a 'full-time' job which is adding to the household income, but still no where near where we were.

i really do feel like the only one in the room, so to speak, that sees that the emperor is really naked. i see the chemtrails in the sky, but when i mention them to others, i get the crazy aunt sally look, or no one else even notices them. someone had mentioned the other day that there are no new bills in circulation, in anticipation of the amero being introduced. had not thought about that, until i started thinking back on the checks i had cashed at the banks... and today, the newest bill i got was from 2006.

at this point in time, i really can't imagine the magnitude of the impact of a disclosure announcement. i see too many folks around me still 'chasin the american dream', and can't even really see how something like that would be: understood, accepted, or not feared.

i am thankful for the community that does exists, and openly shares with us, so i don't have to get the 'crazy aunt sally' stares all the time. i am trying my best to be centered, positive, and bringing out my higher self at all times, and not trying to force the others to see that the emperor is not wearing clothes.

if this unfolds as stated, these next few months are going to be one hell of a ride

hi again bill,

firstly i wish you the very best in your hunt for employment. it is such a shame you live so far away as i will gladly give you mine ;) i am soooo fed up with it but i should be grateful i have a job at least.

one thing i notice when i read your posts is the fact that you are very positive, despite having a rough few months.

dont get too hung up about the people who are chasing the american illusion, man they will be in for a shock over the next few weeks and months when the you know what hits the fan.

i just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement and to let you know i send you positive loving thoughts.

as for disclosure, i am sat here and a one off special of dr.who has just started on the beeb. its all about mars! not to mention its full of negative and diseased beings lol - yep disclosure is on its way, i bet you they say the "e.t's" are from mars lol!

keep going brother and may your situation only improve. as for me, i am off to try and find that naked emperor ;) woo hoo!

love and light to you all,

matt

[Ewhaz]

hi, i have a personal question that any one can answer.

there has been a sadness feeling within me. for years, and still do, i feel so sad, like for no apparent reason. i cant explain it. its just there.

i really want to stop feeling so sad, and find the real reason for it. i think it has to do with spiritual awakening and other things. i really don't know.

there's a youtube video where someone on the british "x factor" feels so sad too. i dont know her real name. i can show you the video if you ask for it.

does some one else share the same feeling.

of feeling "so sad" for a long time (years) and how to get rid of it.


thanks a lot.


i'll answer this.

over the last few months i have been working hard to dig up personal issues from the past. i posted a thread in the past using 'tapping' to help clear up personal emotional issues, and that's what i have been doing. i dug and dug and dug and realized that my life was full of sadness. it was something that permiated everything i did, a general sense of sadness, sadness about the past.

it's easy to look back at your life and judge all the failures or the situations that seem negative to you. i didn't get the job i want, didn't get the schooling i wanted, never achieved my dreams because of this situation or that situation. i looked back on my life and saw that there were an endless trail of sadness's that occurred. a lost home, a lost friend, a lost parent. loneliness and hopelessness. all the great events in my past that i felt kept me from becoming all that i wanted to be and that was one part of the sadness.

i called it 'morning my beautiful life' cause at the same time i saw every event as a beautiful experience that i wouldn't give away for anything in the world, even the horrible things i'd felt i'd done or had done to me. at the same time on the same level i felt sad because well, it was just a plain tough life and some times it was hard to look back on it and not feel a sense of loss for what might have been.

we are all struggling with this duality. as the vale is slowly being lifted we are beginning to see things clearly, including the duality. it is not difficult to see two things that seem to contradict one another at the same time and feel confused about how it can be this way.

even though i am still struggling with my past and hardly think i've scratched the surface, i believe the best way is to resolve it in love. we tend to look at things in a dualistic way, one thing being 'good' and another being 'bad'. in love, things are neither good nor bad, they simply are. we can accept them, forgive ourselves and others and let them go as they have done their job as catalysts to help solidify lessons we have learned in our lives.

i hope this helps

in love, be blessed!

[bobfitz]

don't put too much stress on aligning your work life and spiritual being.
our "work life" will be radically redefined in the years ahead. any job is part of the old system. we're still living in the old system, so any job will do.

to change the world, continue to change yourself. experience love, experience the one. you will find the oneness everywhere once you open yourself to it (even in a job).

play the material game awhile longer (it's annoying, i know). but, bring home the love and share it with everyone around you while you do. it's more important than bringing home the bacon. the balance will soon shift to a more agreeable setting.

[NabeelC]

i'll answer this.

over the last few months i have been working hard to dig up personal issues from the past. i posted a thread in the past using 'tapping' to help clear up personal emotional issues, and that's what i have been doing. i dug and dug and dug and realized that my life was full of sadness. it was something that permiated everything i did, a general sense of sadness, sadness about the past.

it's easy to look back at your life and judge all the failures or the situations that seem negative to you. i didn't get the job i want, didn't get the schooling i wanted, never achieved my dreams because of this situation or that situation. i looked back on my life and saw that there were an endless trail of sadness's that occurred. a lost home, a lost friend, a lost parent. loneliness and hopelessness. all the great events in my past that i felt kept me from becoming all that i wanted to be and that was one part of the sadness.

i called it 'morning my beautiful life' cause at the same time i saw every event as a beautiful experience that i wouldn't give away for anything in the world, even the horrible things i'd felt i'd done or had done to me. at the same time on the same level i felt sad because well, it was just a plain tough life and some times it was hard to look back on it and not feel a sense of loss for what might have been.

we are all struggling with this duality. as the vale is slowly being lifted we are beginning to see things clearly, including the duality. it is not difficult to see two things that seem to contradict one another at the same time and feel confused about how it can be this way.

even though i am still struggling with my past and hardly think i've scratched the surface, i believe the best way is to resolve it in love. we tend to look at things in a dualistic way, one thing being 'good' and another being 'bad'. in love, things are neither good nor bad, they simply are. we can accept them, forgive ourselves and others and let them go as they have done their job as catalysts to help solidify lessons we have learned in our lives.

i hope this helps

in love, be blessed!


thanks for answering my question.

but i think you misunderstood me. im very yound age 26. i started feeling "so sad" at age 19, for no apparent reason. look i dont mean to be rude, but i havent lost no love one (no such thing exist in my mind, since i beleive we are eternal being, and will meet each other forever and never separate, i dont just believe it i know it.) so it has nothing to do with losing someone.
or a failure or anything i've succeed.

since im very young when feeling so sad started to happen (19), i don't think it has anything to do with any thing personal. (i dont believe this is my real life in earth, its in heaven, so i dont think it has to do with dissapointment) since i'm only 19 when it started to happen, i dont think this applies to me being.

since my life hasn't really begin yet being so young in my mind, so i dont think it has to do with personal issues.

i just don't know why i'm so sad. i dont think you'll understand. i have a feeling it has to with something spiritual or inter dimensional.

[Alexander]

nabeelc,

perhaps you are empathizing? we can pick up the pain and suffering of others not of this world/reality/dimension.

[jpstephens2012]

i can only give you my thoughts on these things...


hi, i have a personal question that any one can answer.

there has been a sadness feeling within me. for years, and still do, i feel so sad, like for no apparent reason. i cant explain it. its just there.

i really want to stop feeling so sad, and find the real reason for it. i think it has to do with spiritual awakening and other things. i really don't know.

there's a youtube video where someone on the british "x factor" feels so sad too. i dont know her real name. i can show you the video if you ask for it.

does some one else share the same feeling.

of feeling "so sad" for a long time (years) and how to get rid of it.


thanks a lot.

several years ago i started a journey ( actually continued is more accurate), a con flux of events took place that led me here to divine cosmos. it started with my wife asking me if i believed any of this ufo stuff that was beginning to show on the sci-fi channel. my immediate self programmed response was hell no, it was just a bunch of crap. but after answering her my interest was piqued and here i am.

in the late 70's i had embarked upon a spiritual quest because of extensive exposure to the edgar cayce readings. i even went and spent a few weeks in virginia beach at the a.r.e. doing research. i was so intense on the subject that my family members were telling me i was obsessed as though i belonged to some cult group or something. as i was still a young soul in this incarnation, in my early twenties, i didn't want to alienate my family and finally gave up on that personal quest and tried to become "the good republican" my family and society seemed to want me to be.

i never did very well in that role no matter how hard i tried. however when starting this particular epiphany i am a much wiser soul and better in contact with my higher self. the ride from 2001 to now has been one hell of a good one. 9/11/01 was a remarkable catalyst for many people. my first instinct was to run out and buy guns and ammo which i did. i later sold them after discovering that mohammad wasn't going to burst down my door and blow up my family in yet another suicide bombing. :eek:

it wasn't long afterward that a few people began to wake up and start asking questions. soon a couple of college kids came up with a lot of very good questions, questions that no one could or would answer. about that time a lot things started smelling very bad and the full blossoming of the conspiracy community occurred. my wife's innocent question literally threw me right into the middle of it, and i began to wake up. today i'm fully awake and know many things i almost wish i didn't.

it's been quite a ride to now. so you may be asking what any of this has to do with your question? well, i've learned a few things along the way. i won't go into any specifics about anything because this is not the venue for such conversation as this is a spiritual website as chris has often reminded me. :d know this though, there are interests out there who would like nothing better than to have you sad and afraid. all their will is bent upon it like sauron and the one ring.

therefore let me give you some suggestions:
1. avoid most foods containing corn.
2. do not drink energy drinks.
3. never consume anything that contains aspartame.
4. try to avoid dental care products that contain flouride.
5. if at all possible avoid eating meats or limit it to very small quantities.
6. do not drink milk containing rgbh.
7. limit your exposure to radio and television, especially television.
8. get all your news from the web at alternative news sites where you control what you read and hear.

all the things i mentioned are just a few of the many influences on our attitudes and emotions on a daily basis. it is sad enough that our progress toward ascension creeps along at such a slow pace. when our friends and relatives do not seem to be awakening at the same rate of speed as we are, that too can seem to be a very sad experience. there are many things going on around us that contribute to that sadness every day. that is when you need to get into that inner space and find the peace that resides there, because it is there.

believe me when i tell you that i have been from the highest to the lowest along this path and everything in between. i am somewhat of an expert in conspiracy, new agey whatever, and the movements of the darkside. i have been through some very dark places during this process but what has brought me through it all has been my knowledge that we are all one and there are forces of light that watch over me every second of every day just as there are for you. don't be too sad for others, they too have their path and it is a path they have chosen for themselves before birth.

the sun shines forth on us all and every day does more so as we move more fully into asension. therefore make a decision to be happy, smile, and let your own light shine forth to brighten the day of all those others around you who are wallowing in their own sadness, whether they care to admit it or not. that way you are being of service to others by being an anchor of the light.

check back to very near the beginning of this thread and contemplate what david said to me when i originally started this post. i've never heard truer words spoken.

in the light.

jim stephens

[dctalk]

don't put too much stress on aligning your work life and spiritual being.
our "work life" will be radically redefined in the years ahead. any job is part of the old system. we're still living in the old system, so any job will do.

to change the world, continue to change yourself. experience love, experience the one. you will find the oneness everywhere once you open yourself to it (even in a job).

play the material game awhile longer (it's annoying, i know). but, bring home the love and share it with everyone around you while you do. it's more important than bringing home the bacon. the balance will soon shift to a more agreeable setting.

bob and everyone else,

thanks so much for this thread. i agree it's been an incredible ride since 2000.

:confused:i need some help myself. i am feeling overwhelmed in many ways, especially financially.

i just figured out that with a modest house payment in the $1000 range, my family needs to earn about $80,000+ to pay astronomical taxes, keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.

that might sound like a lot, but once nearly 50% comes off the top for ss, fed and state taxes, it doesn't leave much.

so here is where i need help, because i am feeling so confused...

how are people making it?

we need to pay about $3,000 a month in to the government ... that's our highest bill.

we don't know how we can keep it up, but we need to earn the income to keep our home.

this feels insane!

help me understand.

am i just an idiot who can't figure out how to keep this insanity going?

or have i awoken and am aware and tired of it?

how long until this economic slavery is over?

you know, i read on matthew's messages (a blog david mentioned in one of his posts) that ets can't understand how we would need to "pay" to live on a planet we were born on.

[evolving]

how am i making it? well, let's see.


i left the woman i was with. she was most definitely as service to self complex with an addiction to crack cocaine...
i left my work because i had to take care of my little baby that my sts complex couldn't take care of.
i lost my 1/2 million dollar house because my sts complex gave my bank cards and credit cards to her dealer for over a month straight. since i wasn't spending, i wasn't looking. i thus lost usd45k out of the bank, and the ability to pay my mortgage and bills.
i lost many possessions because they just disappeared at night when i was asleep.
i put my things in storage, left and took my 12 month old baby with me (i'm the dad).
i moved into a one bedroom basement bedroom (with adjoining bathroom) which i have my bed, my daughter's crib, her playroom, and my computer all in one. we have use of the kitchen upstairs, and shared laundry.
we live on very little, on the state. my daughter eats very well, all organic, and very nutritionally. i eat what i can afford and rely on the help and kindness of others.
we are happy, and we have love, trees, animals around, and our time in nature, togetherness, a roof over our heads, beds to sleep in, food in our bellies, and hope of a better and bright future. we have all we need.

out of all that, the one thing we have that truly sustains the both of us is love, of the one creator. i am working on my spirituality, my daughter is working on saying "doggie". could i ask for more? i think not. would i ask for more? i think not. this is what i signed up for pre-incarnate, and i am thankful to be here. i wouldn't have it any other way :)

[Bill]

bob and everyone else,

thanks so much for this thread. i agree it's been an incredible ride since 2000.

:confused:i need some help myself. i am feeling overwhelmed in many ways, especially financially.

i just figured out that with a modest house payment in the $1000 range, my family needs to earn about $80,000+ to pay astronomical taxes, keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.

that might sound like a lot, but once nearly 50% comes off the top for ss, fed and state taxes, it doesn't leave much.

so here is where i need help, because i am feeling so confused...

how are people making it?

we need to pay about $3,000 a month in to the government ... that's our highest bill.

we don't know how we can keep it up, but we need to earn the income to keep our home.

this feels insane!

help me understand.

am i just an idiot who can't figure out how to keep this insanity going?

or have i awoken and am aware and tired of it?

how long until this economic slavery is over?

you know, i read on matthew's messages (a blog david mentioned in one of his posts) that ets can't understand how we would need to "pay" to live on a planet we were born on.

dc... first of all, no i don't think you are an idiot. i too have pondered, and experienced the same things you have mentioned. i have had a job since i was 15 until i was 43 when i was laid off. i believed in the 'game', i lived it, i climbed the ladder, increased my income, bought the nice house, had kids, invested in stock, helped out friends, etc.

well, since 2003, i have not been able to land a steady source of income (i had a contract last year 1400 mile away from home, only income since being laid off). i am beginning to wonder if i have been blacklisted from employment, as it is extremely difficult to get anyone to talk to me about opportunities. i am dealing with the fact that i can not pay for my credit cards, and they will start legal proceedings against me soon.

in the meantime, i am experiencing the daily fact that there is enough... there is enough of anything we could desire in this universe. we are earning enough from my unemployment and my wife's job to cover the basics, pay the mortgage, keep the lights on, and have just enough to keep us fed each week. i too have a property tax payment due in april that i have no idea how we will pay. i have gone through the whole cycle of emotions, from being pissed off about not having a job, to shame for not being able to pay my debts, to acceptance of the experience i have willed, and peace with whatever outcome shows up.

i try to remember that, and stay in peace when i get the calls from the credit card companies, and deal with the 'abuse' about me being a deadbeat. it is a lot easier to stay that way if you realize that i am not doing anything 'wrong'... i don't have the money to pay them, and i recognize that they will take actions. i am not thrilled about that, but i understand that this is what will be, and it is up to me how to respond. i too wonder when the camel will finally break its back... i know i am just one of millions that are in the same situation, and you got to figure that eventually this will cause such an overload on the system that something has to give.

i hope this is helpful, or insightful. or perhaps, it is useful to know you are not alone. i certainly will let you know if i ever figure it out, but it appears that perhaps we are players that agreed to sign up for this to be part of the catalyst that forces a change to this madness.

peace to you, my friend.

[dctalk]

bill and evolving,

thank you so much for your replies. it is so comforting to hear from others.

yes, you are right to be thankful for what i have and get over feeling i have done something "wrong" or that i am "not enough" to succeed in the current system.

it's my ego-based embarrassment to have others see my "failures" as others have always seen me as the one who "has it together".

the 3d sts leadership is based in domination, destruction and negative.

the new 5d leadership that i am focused on, as much as i can, is based on identifying, understanding and meeting everyone's needs peacefully in the highest good for all.

i have been pondering bringing together a group of 100 or so people who want to learn/remember 5d leadership principles (like described in the above paragraph) and live those in the world.

i believe it could make a difference. do you think so? i'd love to hear what you think and feel.

[evolving]

the new 5d leadership that i am focused on, as much as i can, is based on identifying, understanding and meeting everyone's needs peacefully in the highest good for all.

i have been pondering bringing together a group of 100 or so people who want to learn/remember 5d leadership principles (like described in the above paragraph) and live those in the world.

i believe it could make a difference. do you think so? i'd love to hear what you think and feel.

i wonder why you think those that ascend are skipping 4d and going to 5d? i believe there is no leadership in 5d, as all is based upon increasing wisdom on the social complex level which is one of the lessons of the 4th density. thus, please forgive the misnomer as to correctly being able to convey the exact meaning, all and none are leaders, and all and none are subordinates. the social complex is one of understanding each other and being of service to each other, so that disharmony is not possible.

life in this incarnation, in this very small 75,000 year cycle, is but a mere blink of an eye in the cycle of the billions of years in an octave, thus, with our very limited thought processes and understanding, and working within the limits of most typically being behind the veil, working on what we will learn in another density of millions of years is, i suggest, not going to be of real benefit here. why try to learn grade 5 materials when you haven't graduated or learned grade 3 materials yet?

i do not mean to discourage you. you may do as you wish, but i would suggest that living your life to the fullest and being of service to other-selves is what we can all aspire to.

namaste

[transiten]

goodevening!

i just had a wonderful, peaceful birthday with my peruvian friend and my romanian tenant and i talked to my family-members and close friends living on the east coast on the phone while my dog slept on the floor.

your posts really puts things in perspective for me and i am so thankful for what i have. it's a strange experience going through these ups and downs emotionally.......almost like watching a movie.....is this "me"...........and what will happen next? very exciting indeed.

"human kindness overflowing and i think it's gonna' rain today (judy collins)

transiten

[Jodie]

large, blue-green multinational planetary body, planet e-a-r-t-h, inc. (formerly the garden of eden) seeks highly-qualified hero to help restructure existing management policies and procedures as required to redefine our objectives and help bring us into the foreground as active members of the consciously evolving intelligent universe.

duties will include but are not limited to:


successfully contributing to directing our six billion member team in re-establishing the balance of life in all sectors to include all species and elements upon (and within) planet e-a-r-t-h, inc. (herein referred to as ‘pe, inc.’)


implementing seed thoughts that drop into the waters of our think tanks –the human spirit –and ripple out through all departments to create hope and the will to achieve overall p.e., inc. goals and objectives.


developing of mind-stimulating alternatives to failing belief structures currently stripping the organization of its potential – to be distributed through all departments and sectors, throughout all international and regional locations and divisions.


serving as an inspirational model of the greatness and nobility of our founding fathers (and mothers), for whom planet earth was originally selected as the ideal environment to foster the great race of our members.


creating inspirational works of art, communication, public relations and related activities to be utilized by all members to successfully improve morale and instill a sense of hopeful determination in our members.


encouraging personal and global actions to implement ecological reforms required to return pe, inc. to its former glory, as established and directly overseen by gaia, the ceo of planet earth, inc.


some travel and uprooting from comfort zones may be required.
salary (rewards) commensurate with abilities.

the ideal candidate will be a fearless speaker of truth and justice, will inspire trust and instill a sense of empowerment at all levels, will have highly-developed motivational skills, believe in a positive outcome and be willing to face personal risks in the name of planet earth, inc. she or he must also have the following qualifications:


experience of ‘outside the box’ thinking as required for developing new and dynamic alternatives to existing dysfunctional and disruptive planet earth, inc. management strategies.


a strong and unwavering voice in calling all peaceful warriors to become personally involved in social rebellion and reform, despite resistance from some mid-level management and union members within pe, inc.


human resources expertise and experience in all areas of soul development and character building.


a charismatic, light-filled energy field.


significant education in the nature of human will and the journey of spirit, for which some knowledge of multidimensional geometry, physics, hyperspace and universal law will be an advantage.


a love for all living beings, as exhibited in pe, inc.’s original blueprint.


compassion, vision and a strong sense that each member of the planet earth, inc., if properly directed and motivated, can achieve extraordinary results throughout our organization.


focused will and the desire to serve the highest good.


political, military and/or high ranking corporate officials, those with a history of violence or links to shadow figures or those related to people with these qualifications are currently not being considered for the position and need not apply.

additional opportunities are available for healers, lightworkers, environmentalists and activists – please contact planet earth, inc. if you fall into these categories and offer your services to the department relative to your area of expertise.

send your vital information to:

human resources department
planet earth inc.
22-22 in your soul,
ne quadrant, milky way galaxy
00000

[Bill]

:d

that was hilarious! thank you for that bit of wisdom!

[noderator: it was funny;) but let us please stay on-topic for this thread. thanks]

[dctalk]

i wonder why you think those that ascend are skipping 4d and going to 5d? i believe there is no leadership in 5d, as all is based upon increasing wisdom on the social complex level which is one of the lessons of the 4th density. thus, please forgive the misnomer as to correctly being able to convey the exact meaning, all and none are leaders, and all and none are subordinates. the social complex is one of understanding each other and being of service to each other, so that disharmony is not possible.

life in this incarnation, in this very small 75,000 year cycle, is but a mere blink of an eye in the cycle of the billions of years in an octave, thus, with our very limited thought processes and understanding, and working within the limits of most typically being behind the veil, working on what we will learn in another density of millions of years is, i suggest, not going to be of real benefit here. why try to learn grade 5 materials when you haven't graduated or learned grade 3 materials yet?

i do not mean to discourage you. you may do as you wish, but i would suggest that living your life to the fullest and being of service to other-selves is what we can all aspire to.

namaste

evolving, excellent contribution and understanding.

i agree that in 5d there is no "leadership." in an experience of everyone identifying, understanding and meeting everyone's needs in the highest good for all would be very much an all and none experience.

i am attempting to verbalize (with limited 3d words and concepts) a leadership style that will shine the light on what is possible and set side-by-side for comparison the current 3d leadership we are living in. i use the word "leadership" but other words could be used such as "world", "environment", "community", etc.

so thank you for your input. it meets my need for connection and clarity.

also, for jodie ... that was really funny and an awesome way to communicate in terms familiar on 3d. very creative and cool.

[Matthew Clark]

evolving,

i have been meaning to respond to this post for a few days.

if there was a prize for the post of the week, i would award you with it.

what you wrote here touched me and for the first time that i can remember, i sent you heartfelt love and compassion without having to even think about it. it just came to me and went to you.

i cannot begin to imagine what you went through to get to where you are today but i can imagine, an awful lot.

forget for a moment about the life you chose prior to incarnation. the reality of your situation is the here and now - a father and a protector to your daughter.

you have love, trees and animals around. i have said it before on this forum and this is a good time to reiterate it. the best "things" in life.....arnt things. your post, in my opinion is the epitome of that saying.

whether we like it or not, we live in a world which is governed by money and depending on how much we have or do not have, does affect our quality of life as you have found out, sadly the hard way.

perhaps if anything i could disagree with your comment about your baby having love for the one creator, i think perhaps she is too young to understand that concept but that said, she has a bloody good teacher.

being human in this 3d dimension allows me to be judgemental, and to be honest, i have been slightly criticle of some of your posts, however that said, one can never understand what affect a few words can have on someone else.

may you have many days amongst nature with your daughter and more so, many days of sharing love and togetherness with each other.

thank you again for that honest and uplifting post my friend.

god bless you both.

love and light to you,

matt :)


how am i making it? well, let's see.


i left the woman i was with. she was most definitely as service to self complex with an addiction to crack cocaine...
i left my work because i had to take care of my little baby that my sts complex couldn't take care of.
i lost my 1/2 million dollar house because my sts complex gave my bank cards and credit cards to her dealer for over a month straight. since i wasn't spending, i wasn't looking. i thus lost usd45k out of the bank, and the ability to pay my mortgage and bills.
i lost many possessions because they just disappeared at night when i was asleep.
i put my things in storage, left and took my 12 month old baby with me (i'm the dad).
i moved into a one bedroom basement bedroom (with adjoining bathroom) which i have my bed, my daughter's crib, her playroom, and my computer all in one. we have use of the kitchen upstairs, and shared laundry.
we live on very little, on the state. my daughter eats very well, all organic, and very nutritionally. i eat what i can afford and rely on the help and kindness of others.
we are happy, and we have love, trees, animals around, and our time in nature, togetherness, a roof over our heads, beds to sleep in, food in our bellies, and hope of a better and bright future. we have all we need.

out of all that, the one thing we have that truly sustains the both of us is love, of the one creator. i am working on my spirituality, my daughter is working on saying "doggie". could i ask for more? i think not. would i ask for more? i think not. this is what i signed up for pre-incarnate, and i am thankful to be here. i wouldn't have it any other way :)

[evolving]

evolving,

i have been meaning to respond to this post for a few days.

if there was a prize for the post of the week, i would award you with it.

what you wrote here touched me and for the first time that i can remember, i sent you heartfelt love and compassion without having to even think about it. it just came to me and went to you.

i cannot begin to imagine what you went through to get to where you are today but i can imagine, an awful lot.

forget for a moment about the life you chose prior to incarnation. the reality of your situation is the here and now - a father and a protector to your daughter.

you have love, trees and animals around. i have said it before on this forum and this is a good time to reiterate it. the best "things" in life.....arnt things. your post, in my opinion is the epitome of that saying.

whether we like it or not, we live in a world which is governed by money and depending on how much we have or do not have, does affect our quality of life as you have found out, sadly the hard way.

perhaps if anything i could disagree with your comment about your baby having love for the one creator, i think perhaps she is too young to understand that concept but that said, she has a bloody good teacher.

being human in this 3d dimension allows me to be judgemental, and to be honest, i have been slightly criticle of some of your posts, however that said, one can never understand what affect a few words can have on someone else.

may you have many days amongst nature with your daughter and more so, many days of sharing love and togetherness with each other.

thank you again for that honest and uplifting post my friend.

god bless you both.

love and light to you,

matt :)

hi matt,

thank you for your kind words, and for your love. we can most definitely use it. i'm sorry, i hadn't realized anyone had replied to this thread until tonight.

believe me, i would prefer to not have been able to write that post, but it is all in a day of 3rd density school work of learning, and, if my pain helps one other person through theirs, i find that to be worthwhile reason. i must have not learned these lessons well enough before, for this time i am most definitely getting it.

yes this has been hard, but without the rain, one could never truly appreciate the sunshine. in all my travels of the world, the places i have found to be the happiest were the poorest places, so i find it slightly humorous, yet sad at the same time, that i am now poor and happy and closer to the one creator than i have ever been. yes, this has and still wearies me heavily, but i still gratefully give thanks to the one creator for each day i am given, and do so each and every morning, when i am so lucky as to awaken to my little girl's smile. i truly believe she pre-incarnatively chose to come here to help me, and i also thank her, for without her being here, i would have bounced back like i always have, and would not have awakened. she held me down, but that is what i most dearly needed.

this all even goes further now. my daughter has started having seizures. we ended up in the emergency room last sunday night after she had a seizure and didn't breath for over a minute. the doctors think, so far, that it has to do with the crack her mother did. i am simply placing my faith in the one creator, because there is nothing else i can do. the one creator and my higher self are most definitely conspiring to teach me my lesson but for good this time. oh, there i hear a tone again as i wrote that part. confirmation... surrender, one small step at a time... i've never been one to give up easily, and will gasp my last breath with a smile.

after the first year of sleeping in my arms, and then going to the crib, my daughter is back in my arms at night. i will not let her slip away in the night without my knowing it, if that is what is meant to happen.

note: i think you misconstrued my meaning when i said my daughter and i have love, of the one creator. if you notice, i placed a comma after the word love, thus meaning our love is of the one creator, not that our love is of the one creator (not that that isn't true in my case).

again, thank you for your kind words and well wishes. it really does mean a lot to me, and my daughter, who would say "bapoom"! with a smile to show her appreciation :)

[Matthew Clark]

hi matt,

thank you for your kind words, and for your love. we can most definitely use it. i'm sorry, i hadn't realized anyone had replied to this thread until tonight.

believe me, i would prefer to not have been able to write that post, but it is all in a day of 3rd density school work of learning, and, if my pain helps one other person through theirs, i find that to be worthwhile reason. i must have not learned these lessons well enough before, for this time i am most definitely getting it.

yes this has been hard, but without the rain, one could never truly appreciate the sunshine. in all my travels of the world, the places i have found to be the happiest were the poorest places, so i find it slightly humorous, yet sad at the same time, that i am now poor and happy and closer to the one creator than i have ever been. yes, this has and still wearies me heavily, but i still gratefully give thanks to the one creator for each day i am given, and do so each and every morning, when i am so lucky as to awaken to my little girl's smile. i truly believe she pre-incarnatively chose to come here to help me, and i also thank her, for without her being here, i would have bounced back like i always have, and would not have awakened. she held me down, but that is what i most dearly needed.

this all even goes further now. my daughter has started having seizures. we ended up in the emergency room last sunday night after she had a seizure and didn't breath for over a minute. the doctors think, so far, that it has to do with the crack her mother did. i am simply placing my faith in the one creator, because there is nothing else i can do. the one creator and my higher self are most definitely conspiring to teach me my lesson but for good this time. oh, there i hear a tone again as i wrote that part. confirmation... surrender, one small step at a time... i've never been one to give up easily, and will gasp my last breath with a smile.

after the first year of sleeping in my arms, and then going to the crib, my daughter is back in my arms at night. i will not let her slip away in the night without my knowing it, if that is what is meant to happen.

note: i think you misconstrued my meaning when i said my daughter and i have love, of the one creator. if you notice, i placed a comma after the word love, thus meaning our love is of the one creator, not that our love is of the one creator (not that that isn't true in my case).

again, thank you for your kind words and well wishes. it really does mean a lot to me, and my daughter, who would say "bapoom"! with a smile to show her appreciation :)

evolving,

you are very, very welcome.

i was so humbled by your honesty, thank you again.

i wish your lovely daughter all of the best as well, naturally. whatever happens, she is with a very good man who loves her as much as any father could possibly love his child.

take great care of each other and continue to post your opinions on our lovely little forum.

peace to you both,

matt :)

[transiten]

hello evolving!

my heart goes out to you two. it's so beautiful to see how a father can so readily take care of his little daughter. i have had extremely traumatic experiences myself, i've told some on the forum and i can hardly believe i got my senses back.

you and your daughter willl be in my prayers.

transiten

[Liam]

what a great thread this really is. i find it so interesting how the person who started the thread was basically in the depths of despair at the time they started it, and it has actually ended up being a great service to everyone who has been involved in it. i found evolving's post very moving (the one that matthew clark quoted and commented on), and it allowed me to put my current situation in perspective. i think we all question why we are having to go through so many trials and tribulations and it is so nice to realise that there is always light to be found even in the darkest and (seemingly) most depressing situations. i can only express my admiration for individuals like evolving who find a way to support a helpless child with so few resources. what a fantastic example of serving others. it is truly inspiring to think that the help is always there even when it seems we cannot physically manage.

[Matthew Clark]

hi liam,

how lovely to hear from you again , i havent seen you much of late.

yes i agree, it sometimes astounds me how threads can go off on little tangents and like a net, get larger and larger, helping more people than the original poster intended.

i am always drawn to those in need of some friendly words of encouragement or support.

i make no apology for that - those are my principles. if you dont like it, then dont worry, i have loads of others. ;)

will call you soon.

matt :)

[FIIISH]

i could really use some advice, and after reading through this entire thread, this seems like a good place to ask for it.

i feel like i am torn between the future i would like to create, and the current reality.

i have done a great job of disconnecting and withdrawing from much of the life i used to
have. much of this has been to my benefit despite the pain of change and "loss" of things i used to value.

i know what type of work i would like to do, and have been working on manifesting new opportunities that would allow me to do this and sustain myself. however, i am not where i envisioned i would be at this time.

i am now at a point where i am looking at returning to secular employment out of financial necessity, and i am wondering to what degree do i return to the old way of doing things?

i don't see much point investing in going back to school, saving for retirement, or creating a new"career" for myself based on this old way of doing things if our reality is going to change to such a degree that none of this will be relevant anyway. i do know that i can be of service wherever i am, even if it's not my first choice.

the only thing that seems to ring through the confusion right now is to take the best care of myself as possible.

i have a real aversion to returning to what i perceive as old and dying, but then i question
whether i am just dreaming or deluding myself and i am going to wake up several years from now and regret the time i wasted when i could have been working hard to "get ahead" instead of just keeping above water. sometimes it seems like it would be easier to go back to sleep and forget everything i have learned-at least until the rude re-awakening!

the bottom line is essentially: how do you plan for your future when everything seems to be up for grabs?

is anyone else feeling this way???

[Bill]

fiish,

boy, did you ask the $1m question... trust me, you are not the only one struggling through the same issue.

i have been living this for over 6 years now, and still have not figured it out. i do know that enough shows up to handle the basics, and i am enjoying what i am focusing on and doing.

but, i will be honest, i have not figured out how to 'manifest my intentions of providing the basics for my family and honoring my debt'.... but perhaps that is too vague of an intention.

i go from day to day. i don't know how to find a job outside of what i used to do, although i can easily explain what my talents are, and how i enjoy using them. unfortunately, unless those are in the right industry or technology, i might as well go play in the street...

i have let go of my concerns about a financial future, and continue to focus on being positive and joyful in each moment, and putting my talents to use, whether that is for free with non-profits, or just helping out friends. i have, of course, continued to keep my contacts open and check with them regularly in case they know of some opportunities, but i certainly have not cracked the code on being total abundance... :confused:

if anyone does figure this out, i would love hearing about it.

[Matthew Clark]

hi fiiish,

its an interesting dilema you find yourself in. the overall situation you find yourself in is one that in my opinion would be fairly easy to answer.

you may not be where you expected yourself to be but hey, you have progressed, even if it is just a little.

if i were you, i would look at your problem from a different angle. why dont you ask youself what you should do that would be for the best for your own spiritual journey. you dont go into specifics however i think you need to decide whether your materialistic side is what you need to fulfill or your spiritual side. i dont think you will have to think about it too much to get your answer.

my partner has also had the same dilema to a degree. he has always had a very high paying job and paid more in tax than i earned! he lost his job a year ago and has been out of work ever since. now he could have applied for high end positions but that would mean he would have to have all of the stress associated with such positions. he decided to put his spirituality first and applied for a "lesser" job. he had his first interview in a year on thursday and on friday morning they called to offer him the job! he starts monday.

after a lot of discussions ourselves, we realised that even though we need money in this system to survive, trust was put in the universe and that trust was answered. i agree with you too, there are a huge amount of changes on the way and imo, starting a new career etc is not for me (or dave).

i just hope all the good stuff happens in the next few short years for all of our sakes. have faith my friend, we did and it all worked out for the best.

good luck with your choices,

matt :)


i could really use some advice, and after reading through this entire thread, this seems like a good place to ask for it.

i feel like i am torn between the future i would like to create, and the current reality.

i have done a great job of disconnecting and withdrawing from much of the life i used to
have. much of this has been to my benefit despite the pain of change and "loss" of things i used to value.

i know what type of work i would like to do, and have been working on manifesting new opportunities that would allow me to do this and sustain myself. however, i am not where i envisioned i would be at this time.

i am now at a point where i am looking at returning to secular employment out of financial necessity, and i am wondering to what degree do i return to the old way of doing things?

i don't see much point investing in going back to school, saving for retirement, or creating a new"career" for myself based on this old way of doing things if our reality is going to change to such a degree that none of this will be relevant anyway. i do know that i can be of service wherever i am, even if it's not my first choice.

the only thing that seems to ring through the confusion right now is to take the best care of myself as possible.

i have a real aversion to returning to what i perceive as old and dying, but then i question
whether i am just dreaming or deluding myself and i am going to wake up several years from now and regret the time i wasted when i could have been working hard to "get ahead" instead of just keeping above water. sometimes it seems like it would be easier to go back to sleep and forget everything i have learned-at least until the rude re-awakening!

the bottom line is essentially: how do you plan for your future when everything seems to be up for grabs?

is anyone else feeling this way???

[transiten]

yes!

but i'm too tired to elaborate on it. one thing is i've come to the conclusion that "waiting for pie in the sky" is a trap. we are here and this where we're supposed to be, taking care of ouselves, eachother and mother earth.

namaste from transiten

[transiten]

hi!

i'm getting used to the bring4th forum where you posts mostly show up immediately so i was of course answering fiish's post, and luckily matthew wrote a much more elaborate one! thanks!

transiten

[Yellow Cosmic Seed]

i hope this is not unfit for this forum and not service to self:

i have had anxiety and sadness all my life. i found out that this is caused by my dad abusing me in a past life. for some reason i react to trauma differently than others, cuz of inherited mental impairment (aspergers). i still feel pain and i re experience the abuse (but without imagery). psychic told me my dad made a human mistake and my dad has changed in this life, and i tried to forgive but i still get re-experiences (lots of tension etc.). this is inhibiting me greatly. i need some advice.

[FIIISH]

bill, matthew, transiten,

thank you for replying to my post.

it really helps to hear that others are experiencing similar thoughts
and feelings.

i think i need to keep reminding myself that i have been guided and protected thus
far. why would this change?

all my basic needs are being met at this time. i have much to be
thankful for.

i need to expect the best and trust that everything will work out in time.

thanks for the boost!

[Matthew Clark]

you are very welcome indeed. sometimes when we face difficulties and problems, it is good to know that someone else is or has gone through a similar situation.

a friendly word of advice or encouragement costs nothing and yet can make someones day. glad to have helped, if even just a little bit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

.....and they drive an ice cream van! ;)



bill, matthew, transiten,

thank you for replying to my post.

it really helps to hear that others are experiencing similar thoughts
and feelings.

i think i need to keep reminding myself that i have been guided and protected thus
far. why would this change?

all my basic needs are being met at this time. i have much to be
thankful for.

i need to expect the best and trust that everything will work out in time.

thanks for the boost!

[evolving]

i hope this is not unfit for this forum and not service to self:

i have had anxiety and sadness all my life. i found out that this is caused by my dad abusing me in a past life. for some reason i react to trauma differently than others, cuz of inherited mental impairment (aspergers). i still feel pain and i re experience the abuse (but without imagery). psychic told me my dad made a human mistake and my dad has changed in this life, and i tried to forgive but i still get re-experiences (lots of tension etc.). this is inhibiting me greatly. i need some advice.


dearest ycs,

i understand your pain. i have also had traumatic past incarnate experiences.

i would therefore guide you to and quote you specific parts of a channeling of latwii from may 27th 1990 which deals with understanding pain and suffering of childhood traumas.


you ask this evening about the preincarnatively chosen structures, limitations, biases and thinking processes which affect the young child until the age of seven or so. this is an interesting topic. the entity which is the young spirit is the designer of these experiences and has chosen the catalyst knowing the behaviors and catalysts that would create the lifetime pattern of learning. make no mistake, there is no villain but your own wiser self, which wishes you to experience that which seems unbearable so that you may learn to empty yourself of insignificant expectation. this is an act of desire to learn, and may be directly attributed to yourself. this is not easy to remember, and impossible to appreciate when you are suffering, either mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually. but each of you is not the limited entity whose ears hear our words. each of you is a very powerful being; a being, in fact, of infinite power. it is the wish of the growing spirit so to use this power that the positivity, light and good of eternity may be apprehended by the self.

it would seem that in choosing the early childhood abandonment, invalidation of reality and scorn, that the higher self wishes to set up a no-win situation, and there are many who remain at this place or condition of consciousness for the life experience, moving around the difficulties of feeling unworthy, abandoned, lonely and sorrowful and allowing this to be, not catalyst, but a continuing picture of reality as you know it in this illusion. but within each of you there is a quality peculiarly your own, and that is your free will. the seeking entity chooses to examine not the surface of the feelings only, not the suffering only, but the reason for them.

the third-density question is “why?” you know, more and more, what you are as you pursue your own personal truth. a curious person, a person who wants to know why it has been abandoned, and why it must feel abandoned for a whole lifetime, is ripe for a maturation, a blooming, which will involve releasing the identity of “the abandoned one.” there is a fear of releasing one’s identity, no matter what it is. the feeling of unworthiness is often crushing and, indeed, is encouraged and nurtured mercilessly by early childhood catalyst. this sense of unworthiness, poor as it is, is an identity and, to change, one must surrender this identity. again you gaze at suffering and change.

thus we link early childhood to preincarnative, eternal beingness, and state that there is a purpose for the incredible suffering that is so often the lot of the sensitive being. the sensitive being tends to build a fort, or a fortification, so that it may not be so hurt by circumstance. this fortification must be consciously torn down to effect a change in self-image. before you came to this experience, you knew that you were loved, that you were whole, perfect, unblemished, loving and beloved by the creator self, a child of the father of all that there is, of the mother of all that there is. but this knowledge does little good if it is not challenged.
when all the reasons of the illusion are cast aside, finally the intelligence gazes upon those things which are changeless. there are two: light is not changed by any relation it might have to any other energy field or movement; love is a constant within each entity’s aching and anguished heart. it may not feel loved, but, against all reason, it loves. therefore, those who ask, “why?” are given two considerations which speak of eternity: love and light. such abstractness does not help the conscious mind or lift the suffering spirit. but the pilgrim soul keeps asking, “why?” and finding that in terms of ideal or unchangeable things, this question deals with love and light. the question cannot be answered, and so each entity chooses to align itself with love and light without anything but hope or faith to guide the choice.

we shall not, this evening, attempt inspiration, for each entity is aware that first the great power of the self that lies beyond abandonment, unworthiness and loneliness is that mystery of self which does not reveal itself except in darkest shadow. you are creatures starving, and you have only faith and hope, because you see that there is light and there is love and no one can deny either, and you see yourself as one whose quest for the truth cannot be denied. does this then ally you with infinite and imperishable things? the intuitive answer is, “yes,” and this is the rock-bottom of despair, the thirst and blankness and emptiness of the desert, the time of no hope, except that there is always hope, because you cannot help but ask, “why?” and seek “why?” yet find the infinite values in substance to remain. who among you or we can expect to remain in hopeful, cheerful and joyful conditions always? this we do not promise you, but rather promise you despair, darkness, loneliness and hopelessness. but never is that condition complete, because of that within you which hopes and lives by faith. “if you go to sheol, i am there. there is nowhere you can go that i am not present,” declares love.

suffer as you must in order to grow. gaze with careful and open eyes at your choices of early childhood conditioning. you have chosen your own hell. you have also chosen your own heaven. focus your power and ask why. find your undeniable hope and acknowledge it without understanding it. persevere. we shall not ask you, this evening, to be merry, for you ask, “what of despair?” there is little merriment in this condition. yet know that this condition was created as an important and cyclical phase of your development, as a beacon of love and light to the creator, to yourself, and to the world. let all fail, let hopelessness reign, this condition cannot be sustained. you are irrepressible. watch yourself grow, and remember, as you rejoice in those times of blooming, how great was the pain of birth.


if this does not make sense or resonate with you, please ask and i will endeavor to explain it in a different way. know that no matter what experience you have suffered in this or past lives, your suffering is chosen by you to make a better you. you love yourself enough to do this to yourself, and for suffering so, you will shine so ever more brightly!

much love,

[jpstephens2012]

i hope this is not unfit for this forum and not service to self:

i have had anxiety and sadness all my life. i found out that this is caused by my dad abusing me in a past life. for some reason i react to trauma differently than others, cuz of inherited mental impairment (aspergers). i still feel pain and i re experience the abuse (but without imagery). psychic told me my dad made a human mistake and my dad has changed in this life, and i tried to forgive but i still get re-experiences (lots of tension etc.). this is inhibiting me greatly. i need some advice.

your question is not one that can be easily answered in the confines of this forum. don't feel ashamed to ask for help here, it is not sts to ask for assistance from others, many of us here originally came here with a desperate plea for help. when i was asleep i needed no help, i was content to live within the narrow confines of my 5 physical senses. it was only after the epiphany of my awakening that i found myself in a place where i desperately needed help in dealing with the realities of knowing the truth.

my intuition tells me that the issues you are dealing with are directly related to forgiveness. you say you have tried to forgive your father of a past life experience. what about yourself? have you forgiven yourself?

a past life experience... hmm... this is information given by another and not an actual remembrance? i would recommend that you not apply too much credence to those you perceive to have powers and abilities that you seemingly do not possess. much that you receive may be products of your own mind.

many of the symptoms you mentioned, sadness etc., are actually symptoms brought on by pollutants in our environment. not in forms like air pollution, water pollution etc., but actually in our commercial products such as food, drinks, and cosmetics. not all of it is there out of ignorance of the consequences. much of it is there with exact knowledge of it's consequences. i listed a few of those influences in a previous post on this thread.

you need to understand that there are groups with a negative sts philosophy who make billions of dollars annually from the symptoms produced by these industrial and commercial pollutants. clinics and doctors offices are filled with people happily willing to give their sustenance for various forms of relief of these same symptoms. today these groups find themselves in free fall collapse. they are terrified by their own creation! they will do anything to regain some sense of security that they will remain in control.

they are spending millions of dollars on commercials and documentaries such as the productions of micheal moore or alex jones, to promote, dis-inform, or divert attention from those who are actually in control. false prophets. wars and rumors of wars. plagues. you know the story, it's all right there in their plan, published in plain sight.

i submit that you will find the answers to your question and the cure to your illness in the same place. venture inward. turn within to find everything you seek... peace, happiness, health, and all good and perfect gifts. start with forgiveness of self, for without forgiveness of self, forgiveness of others is not possible. next work on eliminating as many of the environmental pollutants as possible from your life, first with diet and then with commercial products such as cleaners and cosmetics.

i'm sure others here will have suggestions as well but this is my humble offering. i wish you happiness and well being. it is a choice.

[Matthew Clark]

hi ycs,

what a sad story.

now listen up for a minute ok.

people who suffer from aspergers often find it difficult to express themselves emotionally. your short post shows a lot of emotion and i sense you had a bit of a battle to write that in as much as you probably were not sure whether to press the "submit" button.

the anxiety and sadness you suffer from is what concerns me.

firstly, regarding the psychic who gave you that information. i have a great deal of difficulty in believing that your higher self (which is pretty much perfect) would allow someone to give you that information. for a third party to explain something so intimate to you (your fathers abuse) raises a lot of questions in me and to be honest, i doubt what this psychic has told you is correct and i say that with all respect. an honourable and decent psychic would only tell you things that are for your greater good. can you possibly imagine going to see a psychic and being told something like "you are going to be diagnosed with an incurable disease within 3 months". no of course not. if i may be straight with you, i would adjust your thoughts to believe that what you have been told is wrong. it makes me want to scream when these people come out with this stuff and never look back at the damage they have caused. if you have had a past life regression, it should be a positive and uplifting experience - you should never ever come away from one with negative thoughts which affect you badly. thats is not what past life regression is about.

i lead a fairly normal life. i work full time, have a dog i adore, live in a beautiful house and have a partner who i love dearly. i mention this simply to make the point that no matter what quality of life one has, anxiety does not care who it chooses to affect. rich or poor, it matters not. this is not something i freely put on this forum but i am now in the hope you can take some strength from my experience. i have been to the bottom of the darkest places anyone could reach. in fact, most people would never survive what i have been through - i nearly did not. when those dark wings of death wrap themselves around you, there seems no escape. sadness too, though in my case, sheer and utter desperation would describe the feelings better. i seriously think you have understated your sadness and anxiety in your post and i understand why if you have.

i made a conscious decision to change my thoughts from such negative and destructive ones, to those much more positive and uplifting. i remember many times thinking why do i have to keep working so hard on myself when everyone around me seems "normal". ("normal" i came to realise is simply a cycle on a washing machine!) of course it did not take long to realise that everyone without exception have their own problems and demons to deal with. just because people like you and i (and millions of others) think we have all of the problems, we do not.

instead of focusing on forgiveness of others, make a real effort to forgive yourself first. that my friend is a lot easier than you may think. forgive yourself. when you are so full of sadness and anxiety, do this task - please. get a mirror (or stand in front of one) and stare at yourself whilst taking a few deep breaths. talk to your reflection and say nice things about yourself. look at the creator staring back. say i love you, say i am special, say i am so happy, say i am grateful for what i have and when you have said lots of nice things, the most important thing is to say to yourself "i am sorry and i forgive myself". you will know if you have done this excerise right because of the amount of tears. if you do not cry, you have not done it properly. you really need to let that pent up emotion out. i promise you that you will feel a lot better about yourself afterwards.

trust me, i will be there with you in spirit while you do this. you can even let me know when you are going to do it and i will meditate for you at the same time. i will be there cheering you on every step of the way.

your sadness is mine and every other spiritually orientated person on this planet.

i know many on this forum who i can ask to send you healing thoughts along with the energy of pure unconditional love to help you feel better about yourself.

to sum this up, i would forget about what you have been told about your father. i know this may be difficult if it is a deep routed belief but it can be done and more easier than you may think. forgive yourself and everything else will follow.

finally, i will remind you of this fact. you are special and are loved every bit as much as anyone else. you are no worse than anyone else living on this wonderful planet and you are no better. we are all equal as we are one. the shift in consciousness is coming and is not too far away. remember we are soon going to enter into a new golden age where illness will be no more. we will be able to use a simple mind technique to cure ourselves of all health problems - especially the mental ones. take comfort in that - it wont be long.

in the meantime, concentrate in making your life as best as it can be in the here and now and know there are people out there who care about you more than you can possibly realise.

thank you so very much for having the strength of mind to post that call for help and advice.

i pray for you and remind you one more time that we are all in this together. here is my hand, now hold it. :)

god bless,

matt :)



i hope this is not unfit for this forum and not service to self:

.

[cameronjcw]

im really new to all this wanderer stuff and looking at the list some of it makes sense mostly the part about being in your own head and not fitting in and the whole idea of a utopian society.

all i know is i have never fitted in anywhere ever, even when i find places or groups of people with similar problems, attitudes, likes dislikes i still feel like im there as an outsider. i cant connect with anyone at all i feel completely alone although am sure many of us do on this planet.

by the age of 15 id already tried to kill myself twice. im now 33 and everyday i think about escaping from this so called life that im in. i want to be helpful to other people and for them to be happy but in this crappy body i have which ive been trying to work with for so many years i just cant physically do it anymore. the worst thing about that is i used to be so creative and have great imagination although that all seems gone so now im stuck in a useless body with what feels like most of the time an equally useless mind and for god knows how many years now all i can think of is escaping.

if i could find a fullproof way of eliminating myself without leaving a mess behind id have done it a long time now.

in the last few years i have become more physically ill and exhausted and i feel my life is so pointless and unbearable all i want to do is sleep and dream it seems to be the only thing i can still manage. i have an appt at rheumatology this week to see if i have hypermobility syndrome which im hoping goes well as i really need some answers as to why this body of mine is so crap and also some kind of validation for this physical illness.

i really dont relate to anyone anymore and i dont think i ever will. im not sure if i believe in a god tbh im not really sure i believe in anything anymore.

now i dont know what else to write so i guess ill stop. i suppose like most people im just looking for a magical answer to everything that seems wrong but i dont think there is one.

nobody that knows me seems to really care or even try to understant me and i guess i accept that, thats fair enough i suppose i dont understand them. even with my family i feel as if i might as well have magically just appeared on this earth and have no links to anyone.

i dont mean to be so offensive but why to we seem to live on a planet full of people who are such total ***** and why doesnt anybody care anymore. nobody seriously actually cares about anything or anyone?

is it just me that feels that way?

[hoppppe]

hi

maybe somebody can tell me if its possible for a wanderer or lets just call it a sto being to feed the sts beings?

what im trying to say is that i feel like somebody is stealing my energy.
the only place i charge my batteries is at my parents house where i grew up,or in the middle of nature, alone.

the problem im facing now,or at least i realize it now,is that i suspect my fiance to be of negative orientation
although he seems to be a good person and sto ,he loves animals,nature,music,seems peacefull,after more than 2 days around him,i feel drained,im in phisicall pain from old imjuries,im frustrated and easily annoyed with everything around me,and because of that things just seem to go bad for me.eg.spill the coffee,slip on wet floor etc

if i go away from him for a day and come back with my batteries charged,he seems very very happy to be around me,but before he sucks it all again(energy)bad things as in small incidents,losing documents,car accident etc happen to him
and that goes on untill he takes up all my energy again,and im left there feeling small and insecure again,
in moments like that when i feel very vulnerable i think that he manipulates me and im losing my identity

does anybody have a clue on whats going on?
i tryed to put an end to the relationship and left,but something just draws me back to him
i have to say i love him,but its driving me crazy

ive written a post before talking about him and that he is the reason i had awaken,but that was 2 years ago
and i thought to myself: maybe im suppose to help him,guide him to his awakening,or maybe feed him with my energy if im a wanderer and we have to sacrifice for the benefit of the others right? or?

please help me with some insights
thank u

[capt.libra]

hopppe, i'm sorry to say this but thats not love. either have a long hard conversation with your fiance to fix it or leave. unconitional love is hard to find but worth it. hopefully the two of you are good enough freinds to solve the puzzle together, one way or the other.
namaste'

[jpstephens2012]

hoppppe,

i can't tell you what you should do and neither can anyone else. i can say though, that i live in a similar situation with my mate. there are times (most) when i am sure that she is the queen of sts. on the other hand, there are times when i'm floored by something she says or does that is so selfless as to be holy. when those incidents happen i feel super guilty for my previous thoughts and start wondering if indeed i am the sts one in the relationship.

we all have our moments of sts orientation and we are all capable of uncommonly sacrificial behavior. remember that we only have to be slightly more sto than sts to make the ascension cut. what i hear coming from you is a description of a normal karmic relationship that we all get involved in at one time or another and sometimes one after another lol. that is the human condition in this density and it is that way intentionally to provide us with catalyst for super accelerated spiritual growth.

it sounds to me like you both need to find a way to give each other a little personal space. i would recommend finding a good councilor of some kind, not of a religious nature, to help you work it out together. a third perspective is always helpful in these situations. personally, i refuse to give up on my wife and i pray she doesn't give up on me but it is always a possibility. she is bipolar and i think we both have our issues with ocd. it is a real rollercoaster on a daily basis but i do what i can to keep my own car ontrack and allow her to do with hers as she may. allowing is what most of us are here to learn on this go around right before ascension. it is one of the most painful lessons we have to learn because it often means getting our own free will trounced upon, but that doesn't mean that you can't defend yourself, you just have to do it by not stepping on the others free will in return. it's a tricky path. love is the answer. love is always the answer, whatever the question. it's the absence of love that perpetuates the problems. the absence of love is equivalent to the absence of god, it is the feeling of separation that is the hallmark of 3rd density life.

think on these things and i believe you will discover a path to work it out.

in the light,

[transiten]

hello hopppee

it's very difficult to tell from a posting on a forum, but as for me i was unable to be in any relationship, good or bad without loosing my identity since i had this fear of being close to someone, stemming from a dysfunctional upbringing. that doen't seem to be the case with you since you feel ok being with your parents.

but i second capt.libra. if you "really really love eachother" you will set oneanother free, whether apart or together.

best wishes from transiten

[cameronjcw]

well thanks for the info and advice guys!

oh wait my post was completely ignored.

:mad:

[lightwalker]

hi all,,
ya know...there are so many wonderful "tools" available to help us along the way and i know a few that are free, if you are interested then e-mail me.

i use my resources every day and sometimes every hour to help me remain in my "happy place". i believe that everyone is a mirror of an aspect of me. so when the "yuck" stuff comes in i continually embrace it with the commitment of moving thru it.

my biggest challenge ever came to me this year...lost both my parents, whom i cared for, was pushed out of my home and lost the support of my 5 other siblings. i have been in a sort of paralysis state because of it, but i continually give myself permission to be in this place trusting that all truly is in order.

and ya know what...i'm still here, committed more than ever to loving myself...deeply and profoundly. and as i continue to integrate all of this i know that my future service to others is going to be a thousand times more powerfull.

so, hang in there, and even if you don't feel it right now keep choosing love, over and over and over. it is in the "field" waiting to enter into your earth reality.

lightwalker

[Bill]

well thanks for the info and advice guys!

oh wait my post was completely ignored.

:mad:

cameron,

i went and searched this thread for a post by you, and did not find anything that indicated you were looking any answers, or what your question was. enlighten me, and the rest of us.

[jpstephens2012]

i think you have not received a response because your post was nothing more than a treatise on negativity. it is obvious that you have not taken the time to read the law of one or indeed most of the material that these forums are based upon and therefore people have no frame of reference to speak to you from.

you mention many complaints without giving any specifics, and the entire post comes across more in the light of a negative greeting than any sort of serious request for some kind of assistance. rather than beating us all with the same negativity that you perceive yourself to be be under attack from, you might try rephrasing your post in a more positively constructive manner.

as it stands, the most any of us can do is try to send you love/light on a consciousness level and hope you post again with something we can work with.

let me try starting off with this:


in your right hand is life.

in your left hand is death.

both are real. both exist in great proliferation all around us.

either one can be focused on, and become the sum total of what we see and experience in this reality.

we can prove that either one exists by our focus -- by how we interpret what we see.

- david

[Matthew Clark]

hi cameron,

firstly, regarding your comment about being ignored, you were not. your post, although very honest, actually did not ask for any replies as such, apart from the "is it just me that feels that way" comment which came across (at least to me anyway) as more of a remark.

if i may say so, you come across as being very angry in your post. perhaps you have reason to be but to be honest, there is a lot of negativity coming through you. i mean that in the nicest possible way and not to sound judgemental.


im really new to all this wanderer stuff and looking at the list some of it makes sense mostly the part about being in your own head and not fitting in and the whole idea of a utopian society.

all i know is i have never fitted in anywhere ever, even when i find places or groups of people with similar problems, attitudes, likes dislikes i still feel like im there as an outsider. i cant connect with anyone at all i feel completely alone although am sure many of us do on this planet.

i suggest you carry on looking through this site and its contents. there are literally thousands of free pages to read through and all of it is spiritually orientated and positively uplifting. as you are new, keep at it as i can promise you, you will not be disappointed.


by the age of 15 id already tried to kill myself twice. im now 33 and everyday i think about escaping from this so called life that im in. i want to be helpful to other people and for them to be happy but in this crappy body i have which ive been trying to work with for so many years i just cant physically do it anymore. the worst thing about that is i used to be so creative and have great imagination although that all seems gone so now im stuck in a useless body with what feels like most of the time an equally useless mind and for god knows how many years now all i can think of is escaping.

if i could find a fullproof way of eliminating myself without leaving a mess behind id have done it a long time now.

lets break this down a bit. people who try to commit suicide never really mean to go through with it. sure there are calls for help but the vast majority of suicide attempts are just that, attempts. also remember that for those that actually do manage to go through with it, they have to come back with the same problems and repeat the same life until the lesson is learned. if more people understood this, then they would realise that suicide is a complete waste of time. anyway (back to your post) what would it matter how much "mess" you would leave behind - if you were hell bent on going through with it, it would not matter one iota would it?

you say you used to be so creative and have a great imagination. sorry mate but creativity and imagination do not just disappear. its a bit like saying, last year i was a fantastic composer but this year i am not. that is a contradiction in terms. think about what you have said there.

another thing which i notice in your post is the fact that you refer to yourself "i" (or me) 45+ times. hopefully the fact you have asked for advice on this forum will not make you angry by me mentioning that fact. sometimes in life the answers to our questions are not what we want to hear and they can in fact piss us right off! we have all experienced this situation. god knows i have!


i really dont relate to anyone anymore and i dont think i ever will. im not sure if i believe in a god tbh im not really sure i believe in anything anymore.

my friend you really sound like you have given up and have done for some time. just read that section of your post again and take in what you have said. you dont relate to anyone because you do not relate to yourself. you certainly do not love yourself and most definately have an element of self loathing.

you should make a start on being grateful for the blessings you do have. look at someone like stephen hawkings who was struck down with motor neuron disease and lost control of his body. there are many people who are worse of than you. i often remind myself of that as well when i am going through a bad phase!

many people on this forum have major problems in their life as well. remember everyones problems are as big to them as yours are to you.

start working on yourself and more than anything else, start loving yourself and forgive yourself. stop talking about ending it, this is nonsense. if you really wanted to do that, you would have done it by now.

i understand your problems are deep routed and i can also understand the self loathing. i have been there and worn the t shirt! start by being more positive and thankful for what what you have in your life. although you may not be consciously aware of it, you like me and everyone else on this planet are very special!

we all have our problems cameron - every one of us! i believe its a simple case of knowing how to deal with these problems. that takes some practice.

love and light to you,

matt :)

[cameronjcw]

lol yes how very openminded and non judgemental.

all the best!

[cameronjcw]

look dont worry about it, quite obviously its pointless me posting here especially considering i hadnt even posted in this thread to begin with. so before i even started the fact that my post was moved from a completely different thread had already changed the context of the whole post questions and answers.

im sorry my frankness seems to alarm people but i was being as honest as i can.

regardless every post i have made has been vetted then put in at a later time than it was originally posted rendering anything i might reply completely useless.

dont bother wasting your time replying i wont be back.

i wish you all the best.

[aqcheryl]

i could really use some advice, and after reading through this entire thread, this seems like a good place to ask for it.

i feel like i am torn between the future i would like to create, and the current reality.

i have done a great job of disconnecting and withdrawing from much of the life i used to
have. much of this has been to my benefit despite the pain of change and "loss" of things i used to value.

i know what type of work i would like to do, and have been working on manifesting new opportunities that would allow me to do this and sustain myself. however, i am not where i envisioned i would be at this time.

i am now at a point where i am looking at returning to secular employment out of financial necessity, and i am wondering to what degree do i return to the old way of doing things?

i don't see much point investing in going back to school, saving for retirement, or creating a new"career" for myself based on this old way of doing things if our reality is going to change to such a degree that none of this will be relevant anyway. i do know that i can be of service wherever i am, even if it's not my first choice.

the only thing that seems to ring through the confusion right now is to take the best care of myself as possible.

i have a real aversion to returning to what i perceive as old and dying, but then i question
whether i am just dreaming or deluding myself and i am going to wake up several years from now and regret the time i wasted when i could have been working hard to "get ahead" instead of just keeping above water. sometimes it seems like it would be easier to go back to sleep and forget everything i have learned-at least until the rude re-awakening!

the bottom line is essentially: how do you plan for your future when everything seems to be up for grabs?

is anyone else feeling this way???

i think the issue here is perception. we create the world we want to live in, by how we perceive it. it all boils down to our choices we make. we choose to perceive the world in a better light, and be open to whats out there and whats going on, and how we react to it.

so sometimes we start to think "how" do we survive handling these scenarios that come up - but you know what? the answer is simply to change your perception - find the balance. dont stop living your life in the now.

i see this alot on here - people have stopped living in the now because they are so focused on the future. but now is all we have - and now is not the future we anticipate. and the future we anticipate will not happen if we make the changes that need to be made... now. to do this, we must live in the now, and live as is the now.

how can we change the world is to live by example. and if everyone chooses to drop society as it is now and move to the mountains, or at least that kind of mentality - and disassociate themselves from everyone else... thats not a positive example at all. to be an example is the most rewarding and tangible piece of the future in which we can grasp now. because when you help someone, the good feeling and well being received is instantaneous.

people have to be able to relate to someone when hearing or seeing any kind of example.

this isnt black and white. its not - go back to the old way of thinking and dump the new, or vice versa. find the middle ground. live the new way of thinking within the old life. go see a movie with your friends, or go to sports events, or enjoy that new gadget you just bought. because when you do these things for you - not to show to others how cool you are to have something, etc like most materialistic people do - but when you want something because you genuinely want it - that feeling you have, that is the positive feeling.

negative things cannot exist without positive, but i think alot of people think they are separate from each other, when really you have to see the positive in the negative, or the negative in the positive.

sorry this is crude lol but take a pile of dog poo. most people wrinkle their nose at it, and find it a negative thing. yes, its gross, and smelly.
but guess what - its also fertilizer. it enriches the soil and allows bugs to feed, which allows birds to eat, and so on. within that negative, a positive is happening. one pile of crap can lead to so many wondrous possibilities - but its how you look at it and what you choose to do with it. life throws you crap, dont go to the old way of thinking and allow it to make you negative and complain about it or feel down. instead see it as change and what are the possibilities you can do with it. when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. if its a really really sour lemon, well add more sugar. or instead make some lemon herb chicken. the possibilities are endless.

i think we sometimes forget that the universe has a way of implementing change gradually. when it gets to the point that things are fast enough the change is literally overnight - we will already have been conditioned to handle that change.

therefore dont assume that going to work and going back to school are the old way of doing things. they will still be here, and they too, will shift. dont forget that going to school or work helps you grow. for example... with work, you have money -with money, you can go to the thrift store and buy several jackets and go down to the nearest homeless shelter and pass them out. and with those peoples lives, youve made an example, a change. something you could not have done without simple work.


meet change as it comes, but dont forget to live your life in the now.

[aqcheryl]

i hope this is not unfit for this forum and not service to self:

i have had anxiety and sadness all my life. i found out that this is caused by my dad abusing me in a past life. for some reason i react to trauma differently than others, cuz of inherited mental impairment (aspergers). i still feel pain and i re experience the abuse (but without imagery). psychic told me my dad made a human mistake and my dad has changed in this life, and i tried to forgive but i still get re-experiences (lots of tension etc.). this is inhibiting me greatly. i need some advice.

do or do not, there is no try. you have to wholly want to forgive, and until you do, you never will. understand also that the things your father has done to you are merely physical manifestations of his own inner turmoil and insecurity. it does not justify what occurred but on the same token, the past is the past and right now the only person making it a reality is you, because you tie emotion and value and substance to what occurred.

instead - let it go. in this world, everyone tries to teach us that you shouldnt let these things go. as if they are some right of passage in a sick way. but they are not. its done, its over, and its only still affecting you because you choose to allow it to.

i recognize this sounds a little harsh, but its no less true - in the moment that someone is abusive, the responsibility is theirs. but the moment that is over, the responsibility becomes ours if we keep dwelling on it.

i did not have an abusive father in the way that it sounds you did, though i do have my own backstory with my own father that led me down the very same path you did now - which was how do i forgive? the above, is how i forgave. when i realized that the only person causing these problems on me, were me - and in that moment i said i forgive, and i also let go. i will not let myself dwell on it anymore. since, i have contacted him, where before i refused to even consider him my father.

[aqcheryl]

hi

maybe somebody can tell me if its possible for a wanderer or lets just call it a sto being to feed the sts beings?

what im trying to say is that i feel like somebody is stealing my energy.
the only place i charge my batteries is at my parents house where i grew up,or in the middle of nature, alone.

the problem im facing now,or at least i realize it now,is that i suspect my fiance to be of negative orientation
although he seems to be a good person and sto ,he loves animals,nature,music,seems peacefull,after more than 2 days around him,i feel drained,im in phisicall pain from old imjuries,im frustrated and easily annoyed with everything around me,and because of that things just seem to go bad for me.eg.spill the coffee,slip on wet floor etc

if i go away from him for a day and come back with my batteries charged,he seems very very happy to be around me,but before he sucks it all again(energy)bad things as in small incidents,losing documents,car accident etc happen to him
and that goes on untill he takes up all my energy again,and im left there feeling small and insecure again,
in moments like that when i feel very vulnerable i think that he manipulates me and im losing my identity

does anybody have a clue on whats going on?
i tryed to put an end to the relationship and left,but something just draws me back to him
i have to say i love him,but its driving me crazy

ive written a post before talking about him and that he is the reason i had awaken,but that was 2 years ago
and i thought to myself: maybe im suppose to help him,guide him to his awakening,or maybe feed him with my energy if im a wanderer and we have to sacrifice for the benefit of the others right? or?

please help me with some insights
thank u

the answer to your question is yes, though that is not a simple answer.
negatives do do this/practice this. but there are many many many more out there who dont even know they are doing it.

it is called psychic vampirism, and youre not alone. their energy is so intense that they literally pull from others - much like the belief that spirits manifest by pulling energy from their surroundings (which is why the temperature drops), its a bit like that.

some things are natural occurrences that have nothing to do with negativity at all, regardless if the person is negative or not. michelle belanger is one herself, and has written much of the subject, but you can search online through a myriad of resources. just be a bit discerning, because not much is understood about it - alot of myth and lore and superstition is placed upon it. i dont know if david or anyone else from the scientific viewpoint of things has looked into the cause of this, but i do feel it is that - having to do with the energy field around our bodies.

some people cannot go near electronics - they fail around them. others are very very sensitive to emf and get sick near electricity. i would place psychic vamps in the same arena... it has to do with energy.

when we dont know or understand something, we have a tendency to project mistrust upon the party(ies) we perceive are the cause - even if they are unknowing.

usually the first and foremost answer people give is to get away from the person causing it - but its recognized that thats not always simple, especially if you love them. so instead, you must do what you can to protect yourself.

one of which is during meditation, project a white shield around yourself and your aura. i like how david has said in the past, you are basically saying 'thanks for the offer, but i respectfully decline'.

another thing to bring up - and this really starts to be considered metaphysical to some - is by wearing a protective amulet. now i still mention this because it is scientifically proven that certain different stones have different energetic properties, so i would look that up as well. if at the least, youll have a pretty necklace :)

[aqcheryl]

look dont worry about it, quite obviously its pointless me posting here especially considering i hadnt even posted in this thread to begin with. so before i even started the fact that my post was moved from a completely different thread had already changed the context of the whole post questions and answers.

im sorry my frankness seems to alarm people but i was being as honest as i can.

regardless every post i have made has been vetted then put in at a later time than it was originally posted rendering anything i might reply completely useless.

dont bother wasting your time replying i wont be back.

i wish you all the best.

its not that the post was put in at a later time... it was put in in the same order as received. posts have to be approved before they show up. so some posts were made prior to yours, that you hadnt seen as of yet because they too had not been approved yet.

your frankness didnt alarm me, im only sorry i wasnt on the forum a few days ago. if you do find yourself back on here, check your pm because i did respond to you there when i first read your message.

and actually.. i dont know... but your post didnt seem negative or a negative greeting to me either. i saw someone reaching out for help, that has had alot of negative things happen to them.

[charmaine]

one thing i find helpful is that the law of attraction include forces from all levels of your being – even energy that is suppressed away in your psyche, in the sub-conscious or residing on unconscious levels. so mental&emotional affirmation of something can be negated entirely from stronger forces on other levels that you are not consciously connected to. so often don’t know are there. these are the things you have to find and delete from yourself. or get them deleted by someone who can find them, and move the energy out of your being. and sometimes specific identification is necessary.

for example, someone’s depression could be from suppressed guilt from a past life of capitalizing on other’s poverty (just a random example here to show some possibilities!)

or a desire to be of service to others may trigger memories that are stored and hidden away. so the very impulse of putting emotion behind what you think you desire (desire to be of service) can act as a trip wire. (a trip wire for stored negative spiritual experiences, old unresolved karmic debt that you don’t know is there and are holding onto, or a “reasonable” fear of letting go of memories because you want to keep the lesson of what not to do again, etc.)

i usually test something by thinking about what i want, then after mentally connecting i stop thinking about it, and in that moment see what floats up to the surface intuitively. it’s usually a whole different set of feeling and perceptions – different than what i would have mentally connected to the idea or situation.

if you have those old, unconscious, hidden memories deleted, there won’t be those same confusion obstructions towards making money and finding your career and life purpose. money is a form of energy flow and manifests when the blockages are solved and resolved. you sometimes have to go in and see the block that you haven’t seemed or even dreamed could be silently maneuvering your situation.

of course, issues are usually multifaceted and not wiped away with one “deletion”. but you can keep going, layer by layer, until all the contributing issues that are holding you back are dealt with, perceived and deleted or let go… then you have a clear and stable platform to build those things you want, and build without the backlash from hidden parts of you.

it seems like the comments you already received have brought you relief – hope you don’t mind my adding something. felt inspired and felt that i could also, like the others, understand what you articulated.

have a great day!

[jpstephens2012]

cameron, i have to say that i agree with aqcheryl. i even expressed concern with mathew in a pm about our posts which seemed to come from a similar place. some people come from a warrior background and i am definitely one of those people. if you read through this thread from the beginning you will see that i came from a dark night of the soul in the not too distant past also. having a light warrior mentality i am perhaps too quick to go on the defensive when i sense some darkness that i see also in myself.

the quote that i gave you in the previous post is what helped me greatly in getting beyond where i was at that time and i hope that it might give you something to contemplate as well. sometimes we feel that a little "tough love" is good for the soul. there really isn't any such thing as "tough love" and i apologize if it came across that way. that's like saying that god is a vengeful god, and he/she/they/we isn't. some programming is hard to overcome at times. but then, that's why we have places like this.

[cameronjcw]

no worries tbh i dont even know im lost now tbh so nevermind.

it was just that i posted my original post in the wanderer thread and it got put here because well i was told it was more appropriate to be in here? i cant be bothered argueing about where it should or shouldnt be and i had actually started reading the wanderer thread which was what prompted me to post in there.

the thing that pissed me off the most was the whole "enlighten me" reply which tbh i felt and still do feel was a little ignorant and also the highlighting of the word i in my original post which tbh makes me laugh because if i went through some of the posts ive read on here i could probably find a lot more "i's" and "me's" in others posts but i think thats just ridiculous and petty! also im not going to assume what other people think or feel so why would i refer to any "you" or "them" in my post when it was about how i felt and thought about my own personal issues or how i percieve the world to be.

anyway iva had a lot to digest since last thursday as i was finally diagnosed as having hypermobility syndrome so this little disagreement, spat whatever you wanna call it is the least of my worries right now as im having to deal with the fact i have a disability which is causing so much disruption to my own life and also problems for my daughter too as its a genetic thing.

anyway ill probably stick around for a read but i dont really think ill be in any hurry to participate in any discussions at least for the time being.

[Starfire]

cameron;
i first read your posts yesterday, while i had some catching up to do reading this forum. your last post on this thread said that you wouldn’t be back. when i just logged in i happened to notice who else was logged in and there was your name listed. it makes me think that you are reading these still and perhaps hoping that someone will respond.
what i get from your post on 12/7 is a cry for help. no you did not exactly word it that way as someone else pointed out.
is it just you that feels that way? no it is not just you. is it everybody no it is not everybody either.
but everybody has the choice of how they feel about themselves and therefore the world around them as well. and how you feel about yourself is what you will see out in the world.
if you do want some advice here is my advice. i don’t claim to be an expert on anything or that what has worked for me will work for you. but you got to start somewhere.
i like to write things down and keep notes as a journal. start listing everything positive about yourself. if you can’t think of anything then make 2 columns.
on one side list what you see as your negative qualities are. in the 2nd column list what you want that quality to be changed to. writing for me is just a way of slowing down my thinking. no one is making me do it and no one has to see it. for me it’s like therapy. other days i will ask questions and see what inspirational answers come. i do believe it is a way of communicating with my guides/teachers.
the reason i am suggesting this is because nothing is going to change until you want it from within yourself and start believing that you have the power to do that as we all do.
do you believe that you have divine guidance available? maybe you aren’t listening to it? maybe your own negative thoughts are blocking it from your awareness? have you tried meditation?
you say you feel like you have never fitted in anywhere – you don’t have to fit in. you have to be true to your own self. you have to consider that you are here for a reason and be determined to fulfill your purpose for being here. and i guarantee you your purpose is not to be here in misery. it doesn’t matter what other people think.
you say that no one cares people do care, i care, god cares. as from the law of one we are all one. if one part of us hurts we all hurt.
you say that no one understands you, yes we do we understand that you feel miserable, and seem to be full of self loathing. we can support you, advise you, assist you and love you, but you have to make the choice to let go of so much negativity and want to change yourself. you are right there is no magic answer but there is an answer. start loving yourself and forgive yourself and make peace with yourself. you are not going to see it out in the world until you see it within yourself by choosing to see it.
it may not seem easy but consider your choices: continuing on with self hate or continuing on with self love and respect.
i’ve find inspiration in reading what evolving has posted and mathew clarks responses. it seems that if anyone would justification for thinking nobody cares evolving certainly would. but he has chosen to see things differently. what an inspiration. so that is my challenge to you – can you become an inspiration?

question for you – what led you to the divine cosmos website?

love and peace
starfire

[redstar tyner]

o-si-yo (hello): i feel from you a sense of overwhelming confusion, frustration, and desperation. i am reminded of a very strong pack of wolves, composed of all leaders and no followers. i am sorry if this sounds strange. i hope you alter the way you prioritize your strenghts. you can still spiritually evolve even in a simple job. your job is not you or your spirit. in native traditions, we do not place emphasis on how important your career is. career is not an extension of your inner self, it is merely an ends to supporting you or your family in this dimension. so there is not much importance on this belief that has been perpetuated by americans. find something to sustain you and your family and this alone can be a test for you. all will fall into place once you accept this. hope this helps.

redstar

[starwhite]

i feel like i'm going mad just reading your letter. i too want to contribute to the dawning new age but feel like i am caught in a sureal play that sucks me in daily like a vortex. voting for barack obama was a plus for me. real health care for all americans makes me feel good! its a start. don't let go of faith and hope!

[hoppppe]

hi guys

thanks for the replies

ive been trying to embrace all the negativity that is been thrown at me with love and im sure that is a lesson there,that requires my patience,and although i feel hurt by him so often i try not to take it personally

it seems all this energy that i feel sucked from me by my fiance is leading to a huge fight all the time,almost every week we have an episode where mean words are being said,even if we regret them afterwards.

its almost like both of us are feeding on eachother energy,i dont know what to think anymore,maybe its not real love,but when we are away from eachother i feel and he feels too that our ballance is thrown off

what should i make of this?

i hope i dont sound selfish ,im sure there are others with bigger problems than mine,and i feel for them,but im on the edge and i feel like im losing it,every aspect of my life is being endangered by this little problem of mine.

and to top it off,my fiancee is being suspected of cancer,hes been doing tests for weeks now and they cant really find anything yet but hes lost a lot of weight and feels worse and worse every day

thank you and happy holidays to everyone

[RayneboWolf]

i feel you :) i really think it is happening to many ,inter relationships are becoming strained as we are now realigning ourselves with new energies that are with us.it`s very hard on us especially when we face conflicts where we only planted seeds of love,it`s like those seeds are not seen by others who may be very dear and close to us in this life.i am going through it too and i have not warrented any of this negative impetus,i can say that sincerely.my realtionship is very strained ,now on a daily basis .i awake in bliss with inner peace ,yet my partner and her children are like living in a different reality to the one that i am inhabiting.for all the trying and want in the whole world ,it makes little difference to my environment.how much can one truley take?
i too have been seriously considering leaving and that would mean going back to either england or france where i have people.this is very sad , yet still inside i feel that through strength it will all come good but that it`s going to be a revelation that changes us and is a nessecary thing.all i can offer by way of heartfelt advice is just hang on in there and work through it slowly .you have love and you are loved .:) bless you ,we are one !



hi guys

thanks for the replies

ive been trying to embrace all the negativity that is been thrown at me with love and im sure that is a lesson there,that requires my patience,and although i feel hurt by him so often i try not to take it personally

it seems all this energy that i feel sucked from me by my fiance is leading to a huge fight all the time,almost every week we have an episode where mean words are being said,even if we regret them afterwards.

its almost like both of us are feeding on eachother energy,i dont know what to think anymore,maybe its not real love,but when we are away from eachother i feel and he feels too that our ballance is thrown off

what should i make of this?

i hope i dont sound selfish ,im sure there are others with bigger problems than mine,and i feel for them,but im on the edge and i feel like im losing it,every aspect of my life is being endangered by this little problem of mine.

and to top it off,my fiancee is being suspected of cancer,hes been doing tests for weeks now and they cant really find anything yet but hes lost a lot of weight and feels worse and worse every day

thank you and happy holidays to everyone

[IXTILIAN]

peace and much love!

so this is my first time posting here, and the content of this post will be somewhat personal in nature. i have had quit a few conversations with mr. wilcock in some recent dreams. so i came to this sight because there is a heavy issue on my heart at the moment.

the preliminaries:

after 13 years of marriage, my wife filed for divorce. we have three children together. when we first got married i was a 9-5 sort of man, meaning that i got up everyday and put in allot of long hours working hard but never fulfilling my purpose in life. after 10 years of marriage and three children, i was given the opportunity to travel the world with a famous philosopher, entertainer. my wife did the good wife thing and supported me, and for that i am forever grateful. however after five years of pursuing my purpose and making little to no income, the pressure got to her.

i think that my being gone for extended periods of time also created a great distance between us, and by the time i "woke up" to what had happened to our marriage, relationship and even our friendship.

i came back last july from a lecture in canada and i was hit with divorce papers. we had been separated for a few months and things where strained when i left. but when i got back i was shocked at the person i returned to discover. she was totally different. new style, new friends, and defiantly new opinions and an attitude that she called her "bitch side", and apparently i was the only one allowed to experience this new side.

my ego was crushed and i will say that things got rather ugly between us. so much to the point where we are now able to finally speak for the benefit of the children.

what now?

now here i am, 37 years young, single for the first time. she was the love of my life. i waited for her as any good christian would. she was the only one i have ever been with. now that all the illusions of my life have been blown away with the wind. how do i know what the next step to take is?

i have had many many dreams where we are getting back together and working through the problems. and for a long time that was all i visualized. but then the other night, before i went to sleep i asked great spirit shed some light on the subject.

i layed awake in bed most of the night and didn't fall asleep until the early morning hours. as i drifted i dreamt that i was in a house that defiantly belonged to me. i walked out into the living room and saw two little girls who where all excited to see me and wanted me to play music. "play the humpty dance for us daddy!" i put the music on and than i woke up while still dreaming.

i consciously walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, i noticed some of my favorites as well as new items that would not have been found in my previous house with my ex. i realized that this was not my current children but perhaps some future children. i went into the other room and asked the girls where mommy was. they looked at me a giggled saying she was still in the kitchen. i walked into the kitchen fully aware that i was in my dream state and say this woman who i had an immense bond with.

we hugged and i could smell her and feel her. to say i knew here would be putting it mildly. i have never had this sort of connection with anyone in or outside my dream state.

i whispered in her ear and said: "i'm dreaming" and she said "i know" i said that i didn't want to go and she smiled. she told me that my eldest daughter from my previous marriage was staying with us for a while. i said that i was about to wake up and she told me not to forget "eric" and i got the impression it was either a baby or a boy from her previous relationship.

needless to say that after i woke up this dream had a profound effect on my consciousness. i layed awake in bed crying for a couple of hours asking god to forgive me for my carelessness in my previous marriage and to forgive me for not being aware of my responsibility as a father. it was a wonderful cleansing experience, and i find my self in a state and peace of mind that only comes from losing everything in life only to rise up and find that you are special and strong enough to be who great spirit sees you to be.

i know god loves us all. and by god i am saying the universe, the great event, the great mother, great spirit, the is that is.

the question?

is it wrong for me to seek out a new partner? i feel like i am betraying my marriage even though it is over. i have only been with and loved one woman. is it alright to love another? am i being selfish?

thank you to anyone with the heart to read and respond.

[docholiday]

the question?

is it wrong for me to seek out a new partner? i feel like i am betraying my marriage even though it is over. i have only been with and loved one woman. is it alright to love another? am i being selfish?

thank you to anyone with the heart to read and respond.

i sincerely emphathize with your situation and admire the transparency in which you articulated your experience. i am sure you are aware that you are always the best interpretor or your own dreams - with that clearly understood - it would appear that this particular dream carried much significance regarding your current situation. your question implies that you are looking for some sort of permission to pursue happiness and fullfillment within your life? you don't require anyone's permission to pursue your joy - except your own :).


i believe one interpretation of the dream could certainly be that your higher self has given you that permission - along with a sense that you will find happiness/fullfillment with a future partner.

perhaps, it may be best to give your situation a little time to settle before pursueing a new partner and i believe only you should decide when that will be. i think a good first step is to decide what it is you want for yourself - become very clear on it - and when you are ready - move into it that.

first, you have to decide....

blessings luke

[IXTILIAN]

thanks luke, blessings...

[hyunseob90]

spring term is almost over, and yet i feel so lonely. it is probably because all i did was just study and be by myself...

but, during that process i discovered some phenomena...like balance. it feels like when i am not somewhere, where i normally went, someone is filling up for me. i realized that this has been happening since high school, but maybe probably earlier...

moving from texas, to virginia, to pennsylvania...who will take my place?

i go from one location, meet this person, never seem them again...it is like living like a gypsy. and each trail i leave behind, someone is there to take my place as if the world was trying to balance it out.

i'm just confused. is this only happening to me? i'd probably guess so since no one has moved as much as i have in their 20 years of life (11 times i moved.) i sometimes wonder where i will go next?

hyun-seob chung
university of pittsburgh

[Alnakl]

abandone negative thoughts. you are a jedi - make your dreams reality.

btw, it's never easy

[mbown]

i have always believed that things happen for a reason, and yes i have had to remind myself of this from time to time. as you have made these journeys ask yourself what new experiences you can take from them. sometimes our roads lead to places and people for reasons that may not be known at that time and yes sometimes it can make you feel lonely but think back to each place you have traveled and i bet you will discover something new from them.

[coneyisland]

the question?

is it wrong for me to seek out a new partner? i feel like i am betraying my marriage even though it is over. i have only been with and loved one woman. is it alright to love another? am i being selfish?

thank you to anyone with the heart to read and respond.



a friend once said "we're meant to know certain people for certain periods of our lives. once they fulfill the needs for your soul, they move out of your life. some people we're meant to know for decades, some for just a few months."

you're now meant to move on, it seems, the woman who you just split with is going onto another frequency level to learn other things. you're on your own frequency level to learn the things you need to learn.

things happen for a reason. if some lady you've never met, but you "know" comes up to you and you guys hit it off, go with it! be happy in your new chapter of this life.

i just turned 40 this year, so i can imagine what a shocker it must be for you being 37 and your life is split in half. try to move on and find happy things in each day. by this time next year, you'll remember this thread and come back to tell us you've never been happier because you met an amazing person.

[Michael]

omg i'm the same way! im 18 and i'm super lost in this world, it's like i ate the whole fruit of forbidden knowledge...literally. my friends think im crazy completely, but in fact it's them and the rest of the world that's crazy lol, but it's been extremely hard for me to go get a job, i don't even feel like going to college...i just wanna meditate and be a good person really.. i see the whole world so different its ridiculous..

[dandie1109]

spring term is almost over, and yet i feel so lonely. it is probably because all i did was just study and be by myself...

but, during that process i discovered some phenomena...like balance. it feels like when i am not somewhere, where i normally went, someone is filling up for me. i realized that this has been happening since high school, but maybe probably earlier...

moving from texas, to virginia, to pennsylvania...who will take my place?

i go from one location, meet this person, never seem them again...it is like living like a gypsy. and each trail i leave behind, someone is there to take my place as if the world was trying to balance it out.

i'm just confused. is this only happening to me? i'd probably guess so since no one has moved as much as i have in their 20 years of life (11 times i moved.) i sometimes wonder where i will go next?

hyun-seob chung
university of pittsburgh

hyun-seob chung at university of pittsburgh

after reading your post i curiously counted my moves (just since 2000). ..... 17 moves! however, i have been in the same home for the past 5 years. so 17 moves between 2000 and 2006. but even with all those moves, each a new adventure, experiences, and lessons. what an enlightened life us movers have.
dandie1109

[evolving]

talking about moves got me thinking...
1967, 1 move
1976, 1 move
1980, 1 move
1981, 1 move
1982, 1 move
1983, 1 move
1984, 2 moves
1985, 2 moves
1987, 1 move
1990, 3 moves
1991, 2 moves
1992, 2 moves
1994, 1 move
1996, 1 move
2001, 2 moves
2005, 1 move
2006, 1 move
2007, 2 moves
2009, 1 move
2010, a move coming up lol

that apparently is 27 moves of everything i own, not counting smaller moves within buildings etc. etc. i guess i am a wanderer in the true sense of the word... #28 here i come!

[Heddwch]

38 woot! (is 38 good or bad? woot for the most moves anyway)!

[Marlene]

for years i get messages telling me, in advance, what is going to happen or that something is happening at that moment. those messages can take different forms, it can be an image, a voice, a feeling or a thought. i get those messages at any time, sometimes when i'm about to fall asleep, sometimes while i'm sleeping and sometimes during the day when i'm busy. i can predict things like the date a child will be born, the final result of a sport event, a natural disaster, an accident, a death, etc... i have no idea why or how i get those messages, it simply happen. sometimes it makes me feel so bad that i wish that it would stop and never happen again. of course, sometimes it's very positive and even funny, fortunately. is there a reason why i got those messages? why does it happen to me? those questions come to me very often but i didn't find any answers yet.

[Heddwch]

i have been watching this thread for a good few days now waiting for someone to respond to marlene's post. i have thoughts on what is happening there but that's all they are, just thoughts not knowledge or experience. i would really appreciate someone with knowledge to respond to her post as i feel it's wrong to respond to something like this with opinion.

[Happystrings]

for years i get messages telling me, in advance, what is going to happen or that something is happening at that moment. those messages can take different forms, it can be an image, a voice, a feeling or a thought. i get those messages at any time, sometimes when i'm about to fall asleep, sometimes while i'm sleeping and sometimes during the day when i'm busy. i can predict things like the date a child will be born, the final result of a sport event, a natural disaster, an accident, a death, etc... i have no idea why or how i get those messages, it simply happen. sometimes it makes me feel so bad that i wish that it would stop and never happen again. of course, sometimes it's very positive and even funny, fortunately. is there a reason why i got those messages? why does it happen to me? those questions come to me very often but i didn't find any answers yet.

welcome to the forum.

you are neither crazy nor alone. you are just unlearned about a native ability that you have. this is a safe and responsible place to extend your education. ;)

of all your questions the one that i think is the most important is "why does it happen to me?" if one comes into this life with a stronger 'link' to a higher dimension, e.g., 4th or 5th, then one has amore overt level of psychic ability. this forum is lead by david wilcock, who's phychic ability is well known. and itis populated by many who also have developed psychic abilities.

your queries sound as if you have not studied the psychic realms, nor have you had a mentor. as you will come to know by spending time reading here, there are many who have this ability and are using it all the time. one thread is strictly devoted to developing that ability {mod:please insert exact name of thread...i do not know how to go find it and not lose this reply :confused:]

what you are picking up is, in effect, messages and information that is available to all who can hear. you are just better at it innately than most. psychic ability is simply having the mental facility to see, sense or feel different wave lengths of information.

you know people that have perfect pitch and can tell you when a violin is out of tune. you have a similar ability only it is to see, sense and feel a different wavelength of information from the universe. messages from the akashic record, from your higher self, from your guides and from the angels around you.

if you have been isolated with noone to talk to then you have found the right place to learn and seek guidance. certainly read as much as you can here and scoot over to the law of one web page http://www.llresearch.org/ and read all that you can there.

i am sure that there is a whole bunch of books that have been refered to by forum members. check out the list of david's recommendations. and certainly films and documentaries. maybe some of the other members have suggestions for a newbie too.

i suggest you find a really comfortable chair to sit in for your computer studying...there is a wonderful amount to learn.

good luck and god bless in your studies.

[Agon]

welcome to the forum.

you are neither crazy nor alone. you are just unlearned about a native ability that you have. this is a safe and responsible place to extend your education. ;)

of all your questions the one that i think is the most important is "why does it happen to me?" if one comes into this life with a stronger 'link' to a higher dimension, e.g., 4th or 5th, then one has amore overt level of psychic ability. this forum is lead by david wilcock, who's phychic ability is well known. and itis populated by many who also have developed psychic abilities.

your queries sound as if you have not studied the psychic realms, nor have you had a mentor. as you will come to know by spending time reading here, there are many who have this ability and are using it all the time. one thread is strictly devoted to developing that ability {mod:please insert exact name of thread...i do not know how to go find it and not lose this reply :confused:]

what you are picking up is, in effect, messages and information that is available to all who can hear. you are just better at it innately than most. psychic ability is simply having the mental facility to see, sense or feel different wave lengths of information.

you know people that have perfect pitch and can tell you when a violin is out of tune. you have a similar ability only it is to see, sense and feel a different wavelength of information from the universe. messages from the akashic record, from your higher self, from your guides and from the angels around you.

if you have been isolated with noone to talk to then you have found the right place to learn and seek guidance. certainly read as much as you can here and scoot over to the law of one web page http://www.llresearch.org/ and read all that you can there.

i am sure that there is a whole bunch of books that have been refered to by forum members. check out the list of david's recommendations. and certainly films and documentaries. maybe some of the other members have suggestions for a newbie too.

i suggest you find a really comfortable chair to sit in for your computer studying...there is a wonderful amount to learn.

good luck and god bless in your studies.
when anything in my life involves a certain number of something like for example, "free raffle to win an ipod!". immediately i'll get these feelings which drive me towards a certain number. most of the time, the number is dead on, or off by maybe 2-5. i did this youtube raffle to win an imac. i chose 38(out of i think a hundred), the raffle was one by 39, the guy right above me.

[shadowoman52]

remember the saying, "be careful what you ask for, you may just get it!"
i've spent years contemplating this quote. i'm a firm believer that your thoughts are powerful things. i've formulated over and over again the exact intentions i think i want the universe to deliver, only to find that what i receive is what i need, not what i want...

if you want to work on the spiritual path and you've made your intentions clear to the universe then, things will happen to put you in the position you desire.
i've learned that things on this planet can sometimes happen overnight, but most times "creation" has a "gestation" period within a particular "time" frame.

on this plane of existence, we have to deal with the 4th dimension of time.

a wise teacher once told me that everything "extraneous" will fall away. what you are going through is the "falling away" or what i term the "break down". everything around us here has a decomposition period and becomes fodder for future growth.

my being reaches out to your anguish at this time and i will send you thoughts to ease the transition. that is all we can do sometimes.

i've learned to ask the universe to make my transitions into a new way of "being/living" on this planet as smooth as possible with as little discomfort as possible.

i will ask the universe to send you these energies, too............................

[BlueStar13]

for years i get messages telling me, in advance, what is going to happen or that something is happening at that moment. those messages can take different forms, it can be an image, a voice, a feeling or a thought. i get those messages at any time, sometimes when i'm about to fall asleep, sometimes while i'm sleeping and sometimes during the day when i'm busy. i can predict things like the date a child will be born, the final result of a sport event, a natural disaster, an accident, a death, etc... i have no idea why or how i get those messages, it simply happen. sometimes it makes me feel so bad that i wish that it would stop and never happen again. of course, sometimes it's very positive and even funny, fortunately. is there a reason why i got those messages? why does it happen to me? those questions come to me very often but i didn't find any answers yet.
dear marlene, i can very well imagine that you are having all sorts of feelings about this ability of yours. and yes it is an ability. at a wonderful school of enlightenment i have attended this "gift" you are experiencing is called long-sight. it is innate in all of us, although we have lost the natural ability to access or understand it. what long sight is is the part of the brain that is connected to the "source", "void" , "akashik records" or as i call it, " the mind of god" . here all is known, the past, present and future. which is really all "now" these messages are neither good or bad, although they may be disturbing, try to see them as a gift. try not to judge them or resist them. when you get them, go to a quiet place, meditate or focus on what you are feeling and breathe, breathe, breathe. calm your mind and see what you can learn from them. with practice and learning to relax you should be able to controll them more. fear and anger only make them more upsetting. you have a prophetic gift and if developed you can be a great blessing to humanity and those close to you. what people do with tarot, and other forms of divination you can do naturally.go to your source in focus or prayer and ask to be made ready spiritually for this gift.i understand your fear, and there are many who have gone this same path as you. ask for source to direct you to someone who also has this gift who can help you understand this more. i have occasional long sight but not like you and i am not experienced enough to help you, just want to encourage you. you are not alone though. and you are truely quite blessed. for i truly believe that this is what the new age of enlightenment will eventually bring to all of us.try to use your gift to help people, service to others is what will make us evolve the most. blessing and love to you, bluestar 13

[Marlene]

thank you all for the advice, kind words and for the very warm welcome. it is a great feeling for me to be able to talk about this without being called "crazy"! something that has happened so many times. and when people don't have the courage to voice their thoughts i still see the look on their faces, sometimes doubt about my sanity, sometimes pure fear.

the reactions from people made me suppress my experiences and emotions. i felt i could not talk to anyone about it, as all it seemed to do was alienate people from me. that is until the day i met someone i knew would not judge me or form an opinion about me but rather look at the bigger picture and try to help me as best he could. we have spoken long and often about my experiences and the more i revealed to him the more he encouraged me to seek guidance. i followed his lead and it brought me here to divinecosmos.com and to the work of david. after reading the forums, reading david's work, watching his and other related video's i knew i had arrived at a place where i could have the confidence to discuss my experiences without scorn and rejection.

happystrings, shadowman52 and bluestar13. i thank you all for sharing your thoughts. your insight is invaluable to me and i will spend what time i can reading more now i know where to look and where to begin, i am truly grateful for your help and guidance.

i would also apologize for my articulation, english is for me a 2nd language.

thanks again and have a very nice day!! :)

marlene.

[Darren_DiLorenzo]

o i nee someone to help me find out who i am, i keep thinking i am an indigo or a foreign soul not form earth, then all sudden i dont think about it, everytime i think about space, planets, galaxies and possibility of traveling through wormholes i get this warm tingly feeling in my head and it makes me happy talking about it and thnking about it as it makes me smile. now one thing thatdid freak me out one day was this picture inmy mind i had of this crystal blue waterfall falling of a blue rock face with these strange looking plants around me and the ground was greenish brown with light and dark blue rocks about i drew it on my sketch pad. now this is the bit that freaked me out, when i was watching a documentary from project camelot when they interviewed th little russian boy boriska the lady in qustion asked him what was te landscape of mars like when he relived the memory of beingon there, boriska said the rocks were blue and the ground greenish in colour with the odd brown around, now when i heard this, it almost have me a heart attack and i was shocked because same type of colours on my sketch.

also i have to say that one night as i was sleeping i had this dream which felt really real, i was hovering around in my living room and i heard this noise. i turned around and i sawthis glowing white figure just staring at me and i swore and it made me jump as i woke up from the dream.

anyone here be able to help me to find out who i am and what i am as i do not know where my place is in this world. i would very much appreciate any help.

darren di-lorenzo

[Mystical Sadhu]

hello darren di-lorenzo,

i hope all is well for your family in every realm of life. i'm quite familiar with your experiences, having had them myself, including the questions. not having answers or solutions is dramatically consuming, though living in the mystery -- and remaining mystified -- are not the goal, nor is static academic knowingness.

having correct, accurate and satisfying answers are anchored in a comprehensive perspective and disposition which we can maintain steadily and rely upon from which to perceive accurately, along with a magnanimous disposition which both keeps us at peace and facilitates our contributions to others in doing the same, as well as continuing our own and furthering others to grow in every arena in a progessive manner. within that description is also contained part of your answer.

through much trial and error, yogis -- practical people -- have discovered the consistency of patterns within the universe, from down to the iotic minutae to such grand scales far beyond human influence or containment ... it would seem ... such as on galactic scales. such facts are demonstrative that this universe is hologramic -- the capacity for anything to be is predicated upon the universe's capacity to imagine it as well. if you, if i or if anyone can imagine, do or experience anything, then such capabilities are predicated upon the universe's capacity to provide such opportunities and such opportunities have patterns in manifestation, existence and fulfillment of purpose.

this patternability and replicability within the universe, integral to its hologramatic qualities, are also factors contributing to the existence of archtypes, both in the universe and in our minds. within this arena of archtypes there are at least two realms: 1) continuities inate of the universe itself, and 2) archtypes cultivated within cultures, which may or may not resemble universal truths, as presented, or at all in any manner.

it is the inherent discipline of tantra to cut through solely to the universal archtypes, not facilitate greater confusion through fanciful ostentations paraded with pretentious impressionism. with a more scientific probing into the mysteries of the universe, lasting truths can be explored, learned, exercised in daily life and implemented in service to all life for the spiritual fulfillment of every living being and posterity for all time.

who you are, what you are here to do, whether you have been the sole inhabitor of the body in which you live today, and all information of past lives, remote circumstances, collocation, potential futures and even levitation are answered in a realm of mind known to yogis as "vijanamaya kosa". kosa refers to realm of mind, vijanamaya is the realm of individual minds where discriminating faculties and detachement from inefficient or toxic factors operate, are deeply anchored. this is also the realm where archtypes are operative, as well as the capabilities to walk among constant change with a peaceful easy feeling while practively contributing to the wellbeing of others, despite even the asynchronous environment.

to find the answers to your questions, the key practice for polishing the vijanamaya kosa will bring forth any and all answers to all your subtle and mundane questions. most skills considering extraordinarily mystical are contained in the vijanamaya kosa and all such skills may come through the tantrika practice of "dharana", determined focus. performed with specific techniques unique to any one person's progress, greater faculties of mind develop, including extracerebral memories, which would including memories of past lives and memories of things you've said, done and perceived that directed your path in this and past lives to move as they have to bring you at the present you perceive today.

[halo宝宝]

hello,i am a chinese little boy ,my 3d world is collapsing ,too.however ,everything goes well with me .i have profoundly spiritual change in my soul and my life.because i know the secrets of universe and pursue the truth of oneness in my daily life

[SometimesThere]

hello all.

i joined this forum about a year ago, after reading tons of people's articles, messages, and musings on acsension. i was really excited about the message i was reading, as well as filled with hope about the new future.
but then i began to start reading less, and started drifting away, as certain happenings in my life made me focus on other things. in those quiet moments i had, i would books to get my mind of things. usually science books, as in reality, i'm a huge science nerd.
science books have to be written out of pure logic, as do the observations that the writer is discussing have to be. so my view of the world shifted. i saw the world in more logical terms. everything had a function, and there was a reason for that. and i was happy enough believing that, as it made sense to me.
then i found this site. it was from an atheist perspective. it argued against any belief in spirituality. and did so quite well, i thought. in fact, it nearly convinced me. so to read more, i bought [please pm for title and author] and that did convince me. his arguments were so well done, and made sense. it was during this time that i thought about once again acsension. i was sad that logic, in my mind at least, made it acsension untrue. but i accepted nonetheless.
now, a few months on, i find i'm struggling. the logic argument against spirituality (which would include acsension) still makes sense, and is a strong arguement. but i still find myself drifting back to acsension and spirituality, like i am today. this couldn't be true.... yet, i keep finding myself coming back.
all of this is making me very confused. it's like two different people in my brain are endlessly fighting which each other. i want to believe, but can't believe.

can anyone give me some advice about what to do? i tried to meditate to see if that would give me some answers, but there was nothing.

and i'm so sorry if this post was too long-winded. but i really need help with this.

thanks.

[Psion 3-K]

hello all.

can anyone give me some advice about what to do? i tried to meditate to see if that would give me some answers, but there was nothing.

and i'm so sorry if this post was too long-winded. but i really need help with this.

thanks.

i will attempt to help you out with the knowledge i have come across from actual study and personal meditation. i find that i've come to a secure place within my inner reality and so i feel like my knowledge will help you as well...

when you begin to think about ascension and logic, you have to realize one important fact. the mind is a technical analysis device concerned with your survival but not much else. it wants you to avoid dangerous situations, use logic to get around mundane problems, and urges you to constantly be working. this is because the mind has only the data you have gained in this life and that data, which is related to physical existence only, does not really have any bearing on your spiritual development. thus, logic is incompatible with spirituality and faith in terms of the mind's inability to process spirituality without putting it against a variety of logical parameters. the spirit, however, encompasses a grand realm of infinite knowing and that is where you will find who you are.

the human mind has been in our way for a long time because people think they are their body, and they don't feel their true spiritual essence. in order to learn about ascension, you have to 'suspend judgment' which is a process that requires practice to master. suspending judgment describes the ability to shut off the mind's technical processing, letting your soul speak to you clearly. as you sit down at any time during your day, your mind is merely doing its job; it has no desire but to help your body survive. what you are feeling is a sense of tiredness at the rigorous logical thought processing your mind constantly performs.

you cannot seek ascension by going through the mind as it governs your physical life, not your spiritual one. many people have all three parts of their mind body soul complex out of synchronization and thus they only ever get mixed results in manifesting their desires. but just because your mind is a block to you now does not mean it has to be forever. what you need to focus on is getting your trifecta working in harmony. this way your mind will not put logical judgments to spiritual matters because in most cases, spiritual things are totally illogical. i mean that in the sense that inner truth, truth that determines who you are, is not an objective thing. this is something that is totally different from person to person and attempting to put a set of standards to it will drive you nuts in short order.

the mind constantly worries about the body whereas the spirit has no worries about it at all. you will have to do some self exploration to learn how to get them working in harmony but i have a book to recommend if you pm me. it will help you greatly, i guarantee it. this book is all about the relationship of the mind body and spirit and how to get them working harmoniously. what i just told you is in that book, but the author will describe it all in much better detail...

i hope this helps, and good luck!

[armithel]

now, a few months on, i find i'm struggling. the logic argument against spirituality (which would include acsension) still makes sense, and is a strong arguement. but i still find myself drifting back to acsension and spirituality, like i am today. this couldn't be true.... yet, i keep finding myself coming back.
all of this is making me very confused. it's like two different people in my brain are endlessly fighting which each other. i want to believe, but can't believe.

thanks.

dear friend,

if what i read i understand correctly, you mental being is fighting to believe which is right? spirituality or science? science or spirituality.

i wish to tell you that in mine own trials and efforts, ive learned that they are allowed to exists together at the same time, or together as one at the same time. if you are like me in mathematical sense, what has to be done is you need to be able to seperate when and where t hings are allowed to exsist in your mind and with certain rules and limitations. when you can accomplish this, you open yourself up to things that can spiral your vehicle of mind clean out of the box. for example (as best as i can explain, forgive the vagueness) lets say hypothetically, your name is tom. you have a friend named bob. tom (you) believes that when he dies, he goes to heaven where he will see all of his dead relatives and dead friends and live (dead?) happily forever(quite literally) after. now your good friend bob, believes that when he dies that he is going to go to hell, and along with him all of his best friends including tom (you) and his family. now, lets think for a minute. in this dimension and reality of thinking, it is not possible for both exsistences can go seperate ways and exist simultaneously. but when you subtract those rules from yourself, these kinds of ideas and scenarios are in fact allowed to co-exsists. you just need to let them.

other than that, my very good friend <name not to be given>, is in college for astro-physicist, and i consider myself spiritual in my own sense. we continuosly fight of spiritual argumentation and things. i will say something that i've learned from david for example, and he will shoot down my message with logic and use my own fallacies against me. that is why i hate arguing with him because i can never counteract what he has to say because he uses definite reasonable philosophy and never ever lets his feelings or energy come to light.

you can have both, but dont let it destroy you. do what feels right or do something to make it work. forcing something is never the way.

[Babyblue]

its not important what you do but how you do it. allowing your life to fall apart and getting too spiritual (losing the ability to function in the 3d world) is not the answer. you have a family who rely on you. thats also a part of your spiritual growth. we can be stacking shelves in the supermarket and making the world a better place. i think we need to live in the real world first and foremost, as our ascension takes place here, on earth, not up in the sky or in another dimension. we have to learn to ascend and live a good life socially.

recently i had to change my work, i kept asking god why do i have to go here? what do you want for me? how is this serving my spiritual purpose? the answer i got was "at the moment its your job to supply security for your husband so he can set up his new aquarian business. i dont always like what i'm doing, but its helping the world in ways i cannot sense yet as by my hard work my husband has the time to build his company. i take care of him, thats my real job. maybe you need to come at it from a different perspective. ask, how am i serving my family today? how am i serving the people i interact with today? you can do any job and still be serving your divine purpose.
love babyblue xxx

[Babyblue]

anyone here be able to help me to find out who i am and what i am as i do not know where my place is in this world. i would very much appreciate any help.

darren di-lorenzo

my advice, stop daydreaming about who you are , you are god living. the rest doesn't matter. no one can tell you who you are? this is ego talking. ego is tricking you and distracting you from your own power within.
you need no other, you need no help, you are a divine being here to create perfection. isn't that good enough for you? ask yourself, why do you feel in need of help?

not meaning to sound harsh but sometimes a good dose of truth is what you need to hear.
you are divine xxx

[lotostennyson]

hi,

i know what it's like to work in a job that creates misery, which is why i take the problem seriously and won't just tell you to dismiss your depression or try to pretend that it's okay to keep going back to what you can't stand day in and day out.

i kept pushing myself to do the so-called responsible thing and, as a result, i spent several years in cubicle jobs and sales jobs and was completely miserable to the point that i would feel paralyzed every morning. i had to force my body to move and force myself out of bed and some days i couldn't.

i came to a similar point that you are describing--my world was crashing down around me. as hard as i was working, it didn't seem like enough. i couldn't make ends meet. i lost everything. i had nowhere to go and had to rely on my mother's help, which was a sketchy thing to do and did not pan out. her husband physically attacked me and threatened to kill me. this was my lowest point.

then, i made a change. everything was so bad that suddenly this thing that i had been afraid to do did not look so scary. i was finally able to take the next step.

looking back, i realize that my misery had a lot to do with the materialistic environments i was stuck in. i hated the money mentality and it ached that i was stuck in jobs where money was the only goal. now, i teach. it's not glamorous. it's not special. it's not important. what is important is that i do a good job, because i am the opportunity these children have for a good start. my work is no longer about money. it's a helping role.

i can't believe how different i feel. i still experience depression sometimes. (my life has not been a bed of roses) but, on a day to day basis, i am so much happier than i even thought i could be doing this work. the work is not perfect. there are tough days. kids can be challenging. however, because the work allows me to focus on something very positive, the tough days don't feel bad, they are just challenges.

here's the key: the change i needed to make was much smaller than i imagined it to be and i already knew what it was.

i knew it a few years before i did it. i was afraid. when i did not act on what i knew, things got worse and worse and worse. now, i am trying everyday to look for ways to to bring myself out in the world more which, as it turns out, was the thing i so desperately feared to do.

what you feel inside is serious. it's important to acknowledge your emotions. maybe there is some small change you can make. a kind of work that has the right focus--it may not be glamorous or prestigous. it might be something so small that it surprises you.

by the way, i know a lot of people who are going through this exact same crisis. many of my friends, in fact. strangely enough, every single one of them has moved out of a money-based job into a position that is based in helping others--without any prompting from me.

i hope this is helpful.

lotostennyson

[Natho]

i seem to have reached a barrier some time ago where, in my mind, the words are accurate but when spoken, the translation is awry.

upon speaking, the words are accomponied with pause and mild stutter rather than being fluid as i see them in my mind, it is quite frustrating at times, particularly with new people. with friends i may speak well, but it is different in the sence that i shall refrain from using so called 'large' words as it tends to stifle them somewhat. sometimes i feel that i would rather not speak at all, instead that i should carry with me a notebook/journal which i could then use as a method of speach/reply so that others may read. it is as if my mind is developing faster that my body can handle at times, thus i am always having to type/write down my thoughts, though noone is there to read them except here to a degree.

is there anyone else that feels that they have trouble expressing thier thoughts properly in the spoken word, or is there any advice one could give that would aid me in this strange development, i would be greatful.:)

harmony to all

[11wanderer11]

i seem to have reached a barrier some time ago where, in my mind, the words are accurate but when spoken, the translation is awry.

upon speaking, the words are accomponied with pause and mild stutter rather than being fluid as i see them in my mind, it is quite frustrating at times, particularly with new people. with friends i may speak well, but it is different in the sence that i shall refrain from using so called 'large' words as it tends to stifle them somewhat. sometimes i feel that i would rather not speak at all, instead that i should carry with me a notebook/journal which i could then use as a method of speach/reply so that others may read. it is as if my mind is developing faster that my body can handle at times, thus i am always having to type/write down my thoughts, though noone is there to read them except here to a degree.

is there anyone else that feels that they have trouble expressing thier thoughts properly in the spoken word, or is there any advice one could give that would aid me in this strange development, i would be greatful.:)

harmony to all

this is something i understand & have experienced not too long ago. i even tried to explain it to my friend one time when [deleted for content]. at the time i reasoned that it must be due to several factors: first of all, reading a lot and having a large vocabulary & mental grasp of communication, coupled with an over-analyzing mind that constantly attempted to 'best' express my thoughts. my mind would sometimes stutter when thinking of responses, like a computer calculating and crunching the data, deciding on what the other person could best comprehend with their knowledge base & vocabulary. with writing obviously there's time to think it out. but with you i guess it might be a little different if you seem to have the words and fluidity allready down in your head but just can't seem to spit it out properly. but in general, i feel the same way about talking. i usually avoid it. i certainly think it's overrated. "enjoy the silence" by depeche mode expresses it pretty well...as do many wise mystics & masters when they say 'silence is golden'. i've also been heavily influenced by buddhism's teaching of emptying the mind. i try to not be thinking as much as possible, with the useless internal dialogue. that awareness is what allows you to just be. i've experienced group mind communication once before and have to say i'm looking forward to it again, as well as like in the movie 'powder' where he can pretty much know and understand everything about a person through esp. there's so much to me that can be left unsaid when it comes to the daily
exchanges, as most of it seems to be idle chit-chat, as part of society's programming of inflated ego trips of self importance and comfort. like in the movie pulp fiction when uma thurman's character says that you know you've really found someone when you can enjoy comfortable silence with each other. so many people are uncomfortable with silence, especially in social situations of course. why? because it's self reflection/meditation/awareness & too many people haven't truly faced themselves or accepted themselves. so anyways that was my long-winded answer to basically say don't worry about expression through talking & just let whatever feels necessary to say come out naturally on it's own without over-thinking anything.

[Natho]

cheers for the input. you are right in saying that most daily conversation consists of idle chit-chat of ego nature, within the groups i converse on a daily basis. i think im just tired of it all, the same talk day in and day out, of 'how was your day?, same ol', as if to make an excuse to use sounded words.

i do love my friends, we do much for eachother, but i realised some time ago that (in terms of relation) it had reached its peak and would not venture much further, if at all. ive searched for people or groups with whom i may share my thoughts and teachings and visa vers, but there are none within my range. its like 'stasis', having to wait. it would be good to have at least one person with whom i can fully relate in my local area. happy as they may be, it is as stated "same ol" to the extent that they share the common goals of daily life (school, job, money, companionship, marriage, house, children) and thats the hole kit and cabootle so to speak with no desire to seek further, or outside the given bounds. ive told my parents several times that i was born 50yrs too early.

like many other people also, the more more i learn of the universe, the more detatched i feel from others who dont really care. at a friends house the other day they were all there talking about cars (a common hobby of theirs which i dont fully relate with). everyone had input, while i was standing there pondering polar shifts, pyramids, loo etc. if i were to spurt a thought out loud, they'd have said "wtf", so i remained quiet, as you do lol.

and yes, i do read alot, and tend to absorb info that would usually be avoided/forgotten by most. i guess its not so much that it is a worry i have, more of an inconvienience.

[aqualion]

i am feeling the same. i am quite empathic and i have been unable to leave my house in a very long time. i would rather shove a pencil in my ear than go to the grocery store. i know i have a purpose, but what good is it if i cannot leave my damn house?

after having been in the worst relationship of my life, i seem to be stuck on feeling negativity from every place you can imagine when i do leave my house. it is awful. i do not know how to release this ugliness.

[Chris Hamilton]

hello aqualion,

you have a condition known as agoraphobia where you get panic attacks when you are in spaces you don't think you can get out of. here are some help groups you can contact for this:

the anxiety disorders association of america (adaa): for phobias, agoraphobia, and panic/anxiety disorders, promotes education and assists sufferers and their family in getting help. 110900 parklawn dr., suite 100, rockville, md 20852-2624, (301) 231-9350,http://www.adaa.org/.`if you go to their web site and click on "resources," you'll find a link for "support groups."

-agoraphobics in action, inc.:
p.o. box 1662, antioch, tn, 37011-1662, (615) 831-2383, there seem to be chapters of this support group.

-agoraphobics in motion (a.i.m.): http://www.aim-hq.org/, for agoraphobics and also for those with other anxiety disorders. 605 w. 11 mile rd., royal oak, mi, 48057, (313) 547-0400.

-phobics anonymous (pa): p.o. box 1190, palm springs, ca 92263, (760)322-cope, http://phobicsanonymous.com/.

-freedom from fear: this one you can search by your state and see what each one has to offer, and there are links for anxiety, phobia, and depression-related issues. http://www.freedomfromfear.org/supportgroup.asp.

hope this helped. i had mild symptoms about ten years ago and i didn't want to drive on the hiway. it terrified me. but i found a job that required i use the hiway, so i made myself drive. to this day i hate the major hiways, but i can drive them. if you can get someone to help you leave your house, that will be the biggest help to alleviating your anxiety (making the mind understand there is nothing to fear), so the support groups above may help with that. chris

[Natho]

i am feeling the same. i am quite empathic and i have been unable to leave my house in a very long time. i would rather shove a pencil in my ear than go to the grocery store. i know i have a purpose, but what good is it if i cannot leave my damn house?

after having been in the worst relationship of my life, i seem to be stuck on feeling negativity from every place you can imagine when i do leave my house. it is awful. i do not know how to release this ugliness.

hello aqualion,

was it after this relationship that you found you would rather not leave your home? if not, than the info fron chris's reply would help you much, do not feel ashamed in seeking help for your self, nor believe that you cannot be helped.

i too felt this helplessness for 10yrs, time that cannot be retrieved or re-lived. like a time bomb, this negativity builds up to a crisis point in your life where you may have to make a choice. in my case, i decided to see a psychologist, and it was the best thing i ever did. without this form of release, i would have surely perrished within a few years out of self pity and lack of confidance.

at times like this, you may wish you were never born, you would ask "what is the point of this?". like a mirror, you must place things in several perspectives to see a broader view of yourself, for everyday you are given an opportunity wether you see it or not. for me, i would turn down invitations from friends, avoid answering phones, stay glued to the tv/internet and moslty be alone, this was my 'safe place' where i was in control and the unexpected was null. you may realise the things you are missing out on via avoidance, thus doubling the guilt effect daily.

know this;
-reality is not perfect in the current world, but you create your own exsistance within it
-people can be cruel and negative for no apparent reason, but they can also be kind, generouse and loving.
-heirachy exsists, but you do not have to be a part of it
-you have love to offer, the expression of which is up to you alone, nothing can be forced upon you.
-you are in control, always.
-fear is powerful, but so is love.

"art is in the eye of the beholder", we see what we wish to see.
let go. fall to the floor and cry as you once did as a child if you have to, do not be ashamed for allowing this. purge the buildup of the past. there is much releif in expelling negativity in this way and once it is over, you will feel a form of renewal. the void created will give way to new things, if you allow them to enter. remember all the good that has come to you over the years and accept the bad that has occured and know that both had a role to play in learning.

i hope i havent been to forward with this reply, its just that i know what it is to have the feeling of detachment, and what a relief it has given to accept and understand that we can do anything.

you are never alone, and you are always loved. be well my friend :)

[onemaya11]

i have to agree with natho that letting go, forgiving yourself and crying out the negativity is crucial in taking back your power as creator. only then can one truly harness ones power. chakra clearing meditations an excellent way to truly clean your mind body complex. you will find the tears will then only be ones of joy in your life. give thanks for everything in your life and allow, allow , allow! remember "you are the star of your own movie!" however, accept that the director has the last say. life is about flowing movements. be like water and go with your inner flow. be true to yourself and others. numb your mind, and open your heart. remember which one is really in charge. if you feel detached from others, embrace it. i guarantee this will lead you to greener pastures and wonderful new friendships. ask your inner guide(s) for teachers and they will show up. you just have to keep your eye open. the awaken ones are not alone and our club is only growing!


one love. enjoy the game of life and know there are no losers!

[Tommi]

i'm just so confused on what to think right now, i've watched many david wilcock's videos including the 2012 enigma and this is after i believed and viewed everything he talked of. however, i'm actually a college student for 2 years, i'm 18 and and choosing the biggest decision in my life (apparently), whether or not to go to university after i finish my current course next september.
what i am asking in retrospective is "is this really it?" what do i even need college for? last week i got turned down a job that required you to speak spanish, i speak to fluently, i just don't have a piece of paper showing that. this isn't the life i've dreamt of, something is terribly wrong, i've felt this way ever since i was a child as i used to constantly question where i was before i was born. i never really had many friends so i never talked to anyone about it and my parents were usually busy with their careers. people like david wilcock enlightened me and i felt as if i had remembered what had been difficult to remember as i breathe on this earth.

i guess i'm not really asking anyone for help or to show me the way... i'm more of less asking people to share their opinions on views on what i should do, because right now i just feel as if i'm trapped, trapped within the confines of a society, so much so that i should just be quiet and keep my head down during this 2012 experience. i never wanted to be born into a way of living i did not choose or a life that had already been planned out for me.

i would love some advice, i know i haven't exactly laid this out very well but anyone who may make sence of this and would care to share some thought, i love you :)

thank you for anyone to takes an interest or even reads my thoughts, peace be with you.

tommi xo

[bullseyeannie]

while breathing in say, 'life'
with the exhale, "heals me'

as a co-creator of your reality, take responsibility for your reality. 100% responsibility means that you choose your parents, your body, your country, your city....all your life experiences. change inside by loving yourself 100%.

stay grounded. there is always imbalance and fluctuations before balance returns.

and find your happy center.

fear is a 'perceived' illusion

then again, so is reality......:)

does this help?

[golden otter]

tommi, bullseyeannie gives some good advice. if i may add, i've come to think of my emotional life as having high and low tide, sometimes i feel on top of everything and other times i just can't find my way. like an ebb and flow, and during the low times, i've learned to just roll with it, it will change. i
when i'm feeling low i always fall back on a certain artist's music, which always is uplifting to me (see ascension soundtrack to find out who ;)) the point being, during dark times feed off of whatever nurtures your soul. for the record, i'm staying in school for now, there isn't much going on in america career-wise besides service jobs, and i think when this thing happens (2012ish) tons of opportunities will open up for all of us. but in the meanwhile, the noose is tightening. don't take any of it personally, be true, store some food and water, love, love, love, and ride out this wave. it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

[bellaluz]

donal i need help with my son who is addicted to mariguana. has a family of 2 and one on the way does not work and blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life i tried talking to him with lots of love calm but nothing seems to go through his ears i'm his only financial support . any advised would be greatly appreciated

[rob_n86]

mod, not sure if this is the correct sub-forum, not sure where this topic fits in.


i have a lot going on in my mind lately and i'm not sure what to do with it all, i feel i need some guidance. some of the things i say may sound a bit weird. honestly i feel as if i am torn between service to self and service to others. i want to be a genuine, kind loving person, i want to be nice and supportive of people, i want to watch my negative comments and thinking. i have been trying very hard lately, maybe to hard? but i seem to be questioning my motives for being positive. i keep getting this terrible feeling that i want to serve others just so i am not "left behind", i know thats not the way to look it, but the thought arises subconsciously. then is that not serving my self? i dont want to be like that.

i have many moments where i genuinley feel love energy. such as with my g/f, or talking with the plants were growing, being outside admiring nature, talking with plants and animals. for example, the maintenance people at my apartment said they kill every snake they find, even garder snakes. it made us very sad to hear that, so the next day after work, i looked off into the woods and told the snakes not to come over here because they are not safe. and i know the communication went through, i felt their gratitude the next day. i dont even like to kill bugs, i say hi to them instead. id much rather compost left over food, give it back, than throw it in dumpsters.
i want to be closer to people, i have always felt distant to them. i would rather be with nature, but i cant seem to make that connection with many people. i truly wish the best for everyone, but i cant always sympathize with them.

i think my subconscious fears coming back again, i dont want to come back again. i want this to be it. in a way i feel like i might be to late. the fact that those thoughts even arise in me, i dont like. i need some kind of spiritual healing, but how? what? i need to just sit in silence in the woods alone with my thoughts for a long time... i know what the right things are, but what are my motives? why do i see them as the "right" thing to do? i just want to help, to do my part in all of this. i dont want to serve myself.

[Darklord1234]

the more aware i become the harder it gets.i'm 36 years old and just got dumped out of my first real relationship.i've always loved people,but i have been betrayed so many times by people close to me who get jealous of my meager happiness.the last time nearly costing me my life and leaving me with knife scars on my hand, face and arms.i miss my ex so much because she was the only one to ever like me the person instead of my possessions.sadly we were far apart in age and maybe that is why she left.i don't know exactly and probably never will.i'm not trying to whine or brag but i know i have helped people along the way.so why have i only been truly happy when i was with her? all my life before and after wasn't total misery but it was always "just keep moving forward.it's got to get better"...well it hasn't.i'm not asking for much either.just simple stability.a job i don't hate, a place to live,and someone to share my life with.didn't seem to demanding to me.i have failed every step of the way, and as i get older i just feel so hollow and alone.i'm not saying i always did right, but i tried to very hard.i have at times had many friends...sadly this always caused some jealousy and someone turned on me.i don't want to be jaded.i don't want to give into the anger.but i am oh so weary.and the recurring factor in my life is jealousy and betrayal. why? i cannot understand why these people who once loved me as a friend turned and hate me because in general people like me.i don't understand why my love for people has nearly killed me.i've been empathic since a child.i feel deeply.tired of that always turning to hurt.all 3 of the people who knew me best in this world turned on me at some critical point.i'm no saint but i never substantially wronged any of them.the only real clue i have is evidence of just plain old jealousy.why are people jealous of me? i have next to nothing.i can literally blow away like a tumbleweed at any time and i doubt more than a handful of people would even notice.i have some intelligence and some charisma i guess, always used to be the center of my friends,but those days are long gone.i never took advantage of the damaged souls that came into my life,especially all the poor damaged young women i met.is karma even real? i should have some to help me out by now at least.or am i meant to follow the service to self path? i'm not complaining but my service to others path has literally nearly killed me, and i do not wish to be a martyr.people act like because i'm intelligent i should be doing "more". like i should be doing some grand and wonderful thing.isn't helping and inspiring others grand enough? it was for me.it made me happy even if i have always been very lonely.yes, i have always been very lonely, even when i had lots of friends.few people i could ever share all of myself with.i could be lonely in a room full of people.i have always felt very alone, very alien to this place.people think i'm crazy when i can be riding along in a car and after long quiet they ask what i'm thinking.i always wonder about all those other lives i see out there.do they ever feel like me? are any of them truly happy? how do they live and love? are they just one of the ants marching? or a fellow human struggling to understand? maybe i'm a wanderer.would explain a lot of the isolation and loneliness i feel.i'm just really tired.i desperately want some rock under my feet for a while instead of always sand.thanx to everyone for this place.thanx to all of you who struggle as well.namaste.

[JonRamification]

im 20 years old live in north wales yet i feel you pain man serious. when i was young i was so full of love and postive energy, then life happened whilst you seemed to stay true to your ways i hid them as best i could. did this so long i forgot who i was and hated my guilty twinges, that dropping feeling in your gut like you just dropped a couple of feet. i started wishing i could be a bad ass like some people. but i held the dam up so long that finally the waters breached and the waters took a long time to settle. in this time i was betrayed, ridculed, looked down apon. im not homophobic by any streach of the imiation but good mates start thinking this was some wierd way of 'coming out of the closet' so to speak. it was like cia or mi5 training man it broke me down but it gave me the chance to re-build meself in sto image taking inspiration and knowlegde shared from this site, forum, ra and many other sources (not forgetting the biggest teacher of all life). all i can say brother is it is adviseable to work on dealing with yourself and your own issues. this is a quote from a plumber of the peep show but it doesnt lose its potenciey "there two people in this world, people who relise they got problems and people who dont". theres obovisly alot of grey inbetween but for short and snapy sake ya know. end of day any faults you have will eventally rub off on other people even through no intention maybe involved. if yor higher self apperciates your desair to help and love then in my humble opinon it may sabotage certain relationships if we taint other people. i always shyed away from people respecting me, emphazing for people not to take me seroiusly didn't know why, but after dishing out this advise maybe i should sever alittle up for myself and it tasts mild. anyhows good luck man sincerly hope you find your one.

peace out, jonny p.s. i think the chances are were are wanders. as infected mushrooms say:
"i want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it all back
i want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best i have

i'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
i'm waiting for the rain
to wash up who i am
p.s. sorry for the excess pss, peace

[Darklord1234]

thanx man.this may sound stupid but i always was fairly humble about everything.i just realized at some point that people tended to gravitate around me.which was cool when i was young.as for the ex...you may be right.i sorta raised her a bit as she was much younger.i tried very hard to not pass on the negativity tho.my main gripe i guess is a lack of stability in my life.i'm not saying i want a lot.it just gets harder as i get older to deal with constant flux.i want a stable place to be and a stable life for a while.i've been a seeker since very young.it's been 20 years now of mostly just trying to survive with very little in the way of a stable job or living situation and i feel the stress of it is killing me.thanx for the advice.if anyone else has suggestions please share.especially any on how i can get some sense of stability in my life.namaste.

[Air-Wick]

darklord1234, i know this is probably something you don't see or hear a lot, but there are more people like you than you could imagine. and it's quite possible that this is your time/moment of realization; your own personal epiphany. and even if you are or not a wanderer in your mind, you still have this sense of separation or loneliness attached to your underlying demeanor, which is quite possible that it seems like you perceive yourself as a person who's more willing to give than any other person around you.

not to make you feel totally old, but i'm half your age and i can completely empathize with what you're going through. through all of the expectations, lies, and jealousy it seems like you're not on the right path, and that things could work out easier if you just stopped caring and pursued your own service to self path.. but, most people that have woken up to the truth of the reality they find themselves in, not all of the time have an easy shot at life, most find themselves in precarious situations that threatens their core morals and how they live their life.

but i have a solution to what you're going through. though, you have to acknowledge the fact that every moment you're in, every situation you find yourself in, acts as a catalyst for your learning and spiritual and mental growth. but the way you explained everything, it's clear to me that you don't think you are pleasing the people around you, and that you perceive yourself as "just another ant marching." so it's not rather a question of if you are pleasing the people around you enough, but rather if you're pleasing yourself. the way you put it, is that you've spent your life willing to give love without a moment's notice, yet you have missed out on the most important lesson, acknowledging the fact that you need to give love to yourself, and that there's no one else that you need to satisfy, and please but you, and you alone. which seems kind of paradoxical since the service to others path is about servicing others, yet the real reason to servicing others in the first place is of course benefiting the being you're servicing in the first place, but also pleasing and satisfying yourself as well in doing this service.

so, this has to be lesson for you, because it is all not a coincidence that every time you give and give, you get shot down for even trying. but, alas, i'm no professional, so i'm just trying to give you some friendly advice, that's all, but hopefully it helped at least somewhat.


peace

[Vanya]

hello, fellow lone wolves

i'd like to share with you a little treasure trove on youtube: (pm for url)

when i'm down in the dumps, these people usually have something to say which at the very least will make me drag up a smile. usually i come out of watching these people feeling quite happy.
i don't know if it will help you, but i guess no harm in sharing, and maybe you can find something there. (search around, they've got umpteen clips up there)

i have been really lucky (or as others my put it - i've been really good at manifesting what i want for myself), darklord, i'm just a year younger than you. i spent my youth more or less despising humanity, and really staying away from people. quite the hermit.
i have issues that are quite different from yours. but i know what loneliness is. and in the end i found out that to attract the relationship i desired, i needed to love myself and honour myself and kick out anything of my life that didn't feel like it belonged to me. and lo and behold, there came my knight in shining armour. so now i'm truely happily married, kids and all.
but it took some really hard wok on my part. some deep soul searching, reading up on all sorts of things, and lots and lots of praying for guidance. but the most important and pivotal point came when i realised i needed to stand up for myself and honour my self and my values. and it was magic. like attracts like. i had to become the person i desired to enter my life, really live out the values i wanted to attract. i wanted a man (not a boy), who would take responsibility for himself, who respected himself (i just can't be with people with no self esteem, not in an intimate relationship) and was loving and caring and giving and - i had a list. and then i worked with myself on all those issues. especially the self esteem part, which was (still is) important to me. and when i could shine without being shy, that's when he came into my life.

he too, though, has a long history of being a lone wolf. it's quite amazing that we managed to find one another. but trust in the non-coincidences of this world. when you can match the energy of what you want, it must come into your life. that is my lived experience.

hope to lift you a little bit.
biig hugs,
vanya

[FooSnik]

your soul is eternal. so who cares???? just do whatever you have to do. you will live to die another day.

[jpstephens2012]

i'd like to say something. jealousy and betrayal are both imaginary conditions created in the mind of the experiencer. both of them come from the the strong emotions associated with the desire to possess or be possessed. everyone wants to be loved and to love. the jealousy and betrayal are the emotions that surface when we experience the loss of one or the other. it is usually the result of failing to honor the free will of another. it is actually a sign of addiction, in this case relationship addiction. if you search through the archives you will find a piece penned by david wilcock where he relates his own struggle with this subject and i think you may find it quite enlightening.

the question of karma is somewhat irrelevant. it definitely exists, but the nature of it is such that it may not become apparent for many years or even lifetimes. on the other hand it may slap us in the face instantly. perhaps the more relevant question is the life plan of the soul. during these end times there is much that comes up in our lives to be cleared. old karma of lessons unlearned or incomplete are once again presented to us till we get it. there is no right or wrong answer, only the experience and our reaction to it.

i can certainly relate to the desire for stability. i'm not sure that is something we can find in the current environment. the best we can do in many cases is look for and create that stability within ourselves, because that is the only thing we are in control of anyway (if we are :). i have at times struggled with all the things you have mentioned but i have made my peace with it through much tribulation.

to fill that emptiness and loneliness inside, you have to open your heart, not to those things outside, but to yourself. forgive yourself of anything you think is undesirable and discard it, the baggage is too heavy to carry around with you for the rest of your life. that burden gets very heavy later on. love yourself regardless of any shortcomings, love yourself unconditionally. as you get better at that you can begin to move that love outside of yourself. love unconditionally, completely, realizing that even the worst of the worst, the most negative of the negative, is still you. there is only one of us here.

[SimplyComplex]

hey all...

currently i've been worried about crossing over into 2012 and not being in my usual state of happiness and joy. wondering if and how it will affect me with all the changes that are occurring.


i am going through the after affects of a break up from a year relationship with someone i was definitely on the same wave length with. same ideas and concepts and never fought or disagree'd on pretty much anything. always respected each other and stayed real to each other. neither of us wanted things to end this way but through certain events (non malicious) things have now come to an end. the disconnection from this person has left me feeling pretty hurt.

i'm afraid that feeling this way is bringing my energy and frequency really low.


i've been thinking about taking up yoga and other things like more frequent meditation. i've also been wanting to speak to my higher self directly, but that is something i need help with learning how to do also.


maybe you guys can give me some advice and guidance for these times.


thanks.

[cameronjcw]

love can be the most amazing thing or the worst ever thing you have ever experienced and ever will again but i definitely think its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. breaking up with someone is just as painful as the other person dying, they are never going to be there again and even if htey are things usually are never the same. sometimes if you are lucky and you do get back with the same person the old relationship is gone and its a new one.

i definitely think meditation is a good thing although i wouldnt worry too much about doing it exactly right, take some time out as you would for meditation but dont try and force it or worry that you arent doing it right, just lie back or sit and let it happen naturally. i think sometimes when you are lying down and you cant get to sleep and your mind wanders to other things naturally is the best kind of meditative state to be in. let your higher self talk to you rather than you trying to speak to it and get answers. i think we all always know the answers to our own questions, they are just buried deep down inside of us and many times if the answer isnt what you want to hear then it sort of blocks you. sometimes you just have to accept that things are just they way they are and theres nothing you can do about that.

i dont know about yoga myself, it is good and i have tried it but i really cant do it because of my joints constantly dislocating anytime i move at all! tai chi i think can be as good as yoga, its more gentle on your body.

[skyboy]

hello simplycomplex. one of the simplest things you can do is go about your day, doing nice things for others. smile at someone, ask how someone is..and listen to their response, hold the door open for someone, randomly buy someone's lunch. i do this all day long. some people do not respond, but most do and are very appreciative. it makes me feel good. at home, when i am by myself, i then have an arsenal of things i can refer back to that happened throughout the day that i can use to take my mind off the things that may be upsetting or things i have no control over. i also believe that there is always a plan. though something may seemingly go wrong, and i want to think of it in a negative way, i try to remember that plan. although i may not see it now, for whatever reason, i believe the event happened to put me in a place where i will need to be for something else to move me along my journey. i have taken some pretty hard hits and sometimes felt justified to feel discouraged but always, and i do mean always, i have remarkably come out of it and been better for it. maybe you can relate some of those experiences of your own. i have come to trust this process, though i do not understand it, and it keeps me from falling into that mixture of regrets and depression. hope that helps.

[albie]

i've been a loser all my life. but because i was so rubbish i eventually disengaged from caring. then i found that magic was real. i don't think i would ever have noticed it if i was a happy person. magic can be subtle. i wonder who could be happy living in this world anyway. you'd have to be pretty numb to shrug off the awful stuff going on. most do, it seems. they seem strong and happy, but they are ignorant. knowing what the world really is and being happy is the challenge. it's not a nice feeling to think we may have to wait for happiness in the next life or the one after that. who will be that version of me? will he remember me as i am now?

will it really even be me?

[Stefan]

no ! it's in(!!!) there! stop looking "out there"
pray with the angels, maria magdalena........
strip yourself from nappies.
lovingly, stefan

(and, stefan, just what the heck is a "nappie"? some kind of life/sap-sucking marsupial?....inquiring minds need to know! bbb)

[armithel]

please allow me to lay this out. i live in north western ohio. i live in a rural area, small population, corn fields, the whole farmer thing. county wide, we have pretty good community, everyone knows everyone. every single family it seems is the same repeating football mom, construction worker dad, cheerleader daughter, and aspiring football player young male. christian military families, things like that. for the past couple years (im only 21) ive been working on my personal spiritual understandings, going back and forth with what feels right. somethings ill learn, many things i will pick up and then forget. this journey makes it excruciatingly hard to weld this information into my core and keep it there. my problem is, there is nothing that happens in this region (that i can see-touch-smell-hear) that helps me stay motivated and inspired to keep following this spiritual path. i dont see ufos, there is no community in this area that has an affinity for any esoteric stuff i understand. the only community i have for that stuff is the internet. i cant touch or feel the experiences had on the internet, ufo abductions, sightings, close encounters, etc.
there are no haunted places around here that would inspire paranormal-spiritual research. the closest thing is maybe the mothman prophecies, but those days are allegedly over.
i see no connection between the changing world (between the occupy movements, crashing government, anything controversial) and the world that i am living and experiencing.
other than my one close friend (who only ever ends up saying "whatever feels right in the moment"), i have no connection with anyone that can direct me. i feel helpless, because no one is there to help me.
im getting really frustrated that no experience happens to me that keeps me inspired and ive nearly given into submission.

i want to see ufos. i want to see people from my area come out of the woodwork and do something amazing. compared to the same thing that happens every.single.day

i dont really know what im doing posting this, blind hope that maybe someone will come out with an answer or suggestion. i dont really have a question. perhaps if i had to ask anything it would be, why arent i experiencing anything?

[Burton]

please allow me to lay this out. i live in north western ohio. i live in a rural area, small population, corn fields, the whole farmer thing. county wide, we have pretty good community, everyone knows everyone. every single family it seems is the same repeating football mom, construction worker dad, cheerleader daughter, and aspiring football player young male. christian military families, things like that. for the past couple years (im only 21) ive been working on my personal spiritual understandings, going back and forth with what feels right. somethings ill learn, many things i will pick up and then forget. this journey makes it excruciatingly hard to weld this information into my core and keep it there. my problem is, there is nothing that happens in this region (that i can see-touch-smell-hear) that helps me stay motivated and inspired to keep following this spiritual path. i dont see ufos, there is no community in this area that has an affinity for any esoteric stuff i understand. the only community i have for that stuff is the internet. i cant touch or feel the experiences had on the internet, ufo abductions, sightings, close encounters, etc.
there are no haunted places around here that would inspire paranormal-spiritual research. the closest thing is maybe the mothman prophecies, but those days are allegedly over.
i see no connection between the changing world (between the occupy movements, crashing government, anything controversial) and the world that i am living and experiencing.
other than my one close friend (who only ever ends up saying "whatever feels right in the moment"), i have no connection with anyone that can direct me. i feel helpless, because no one is there to help me.
im getting really frustrated that no experience happens to me that keeps me inspired and ive nearly given into submission.

i want to see ufos. i want to see people from my area come out of the woodwork and do something amazing. compared to the same thing that happens every.single.day

i dont really know what im doing posting this, blind hope that maybe someone will come out with an answer or suggestion. i dont really have a question. perhaps if i had to ask anything it would be, why arent i experiencing anything?

i went through this same sort of process recently armithel. i live in a very similar situation to yourself. what helped me was a deeper understanding of the loo material. i basically came to the conclusion that the more you can learn about yourself and change and grow as an entity, the more your outer universe will change. there is much more to life then the surface ripples or "the matrix". by that i mean the occupy movements, ufo's etc. are all a representation of a growing, flowering human conciseness. although it seems like you are not involved in any of these processes, you are. the fact that you are awoken, and aware of some of the deeper truths of reality has an effect on our entire society. and the more you can discover about yourself the more our society will reflect that. we are all apart of this journey.

i found that looking at it from the perspective that you chose to incarnate into the life you now have for a reason is very helpful. maybe you needed to live a life based on faith alone (ie: not seeing ufo's) or maybe you saw an opportunity to be of great service to the people in your community. even though the seem to be stuck in "the matrix" that is where they need to be for their continued growth and development. offer them your love and kindness and your are helping them more then you will ever know. there is so much that goes unseen in our world (due to the veil) it can become a strain at times.

if you truly feel you are in the wrong place, i would recommend contemplative meditation. it is a very reliable way to work out inner question about your life.

keep the faith my friend, experience goes much deeper then any of us are aware.

[Shin'Ar]

i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.


dearest brother,

in tears i feel your anguish and reach out to you.

what you are missing is balance! a difficult but not impossible thing to attain. because we are always at some point of that balancing act regardless of our stance. it is simply a matter of which way we lean depending on our circumstances.

ask yourself, would you be so perplexed if you were not bound to the control of the system in which you live? what if you and your family lived in some remote uncivilized part of the world dependent only on nature and your ability to take what you need from it? employment only becomes a priority if you choose to remain a part of the system. but in reality you can at any time lead your family anywhere. now will they follow you? the answer to that dilemma reveals that this choice of which i speak is real.

so you see, you are not so much as trapped in the system as you are caught up in a multitude of choices. and finding that balance between this choice and another is what will create the goal for you to strive toward.

would you like to go somewhere else?

would your family like to go somewhere else?

what could you do to go to some place that everyone in the family would agree on?

there is absolutely nothing to stop you from tossing a few essentials together and walking in any direction you so choose if that becomes your only source of travel.

it is a matter of extremes and decisions. but that is what life is all about. and this is also the challenge we face when choosing to lean toward the light or the darkness, the spiritual or the material. your family depends on you to create their experience because you share this life and create it together, and your fellow humans need you in the exact same regard. it is your role in existence to learn to balance between the material and the spiritual so that you bring us all to the fulfillment of our design. your family is larger than you have believed. you are more than you have thought. you are not alone.

you make things happen. they may not happen the way you hope they will, but you do make things happen,one way or another, and as long as things are happening, things will change. that is the dynamic of our existence. it is the essence of life.

to be so caught up in the system that you cannot see this is definitely difficult. you must find that balance between being part of the system and being part of what you make happen yourself. balance my friend!

you do not have to stay here. you can try again. but you will be faced with the same struggle of balance regardless. it is always about balancing the polarities.

i am in a similar situation myself, and often i would like to run away. i choose to suffer for my loved ones, even if it kills me. i am not saying that is what should be expected of any man. i am simply saying that if i was walking down the street and my child was threatened by a runaway car, i would instantly sacrifice my life for his. is that not what you are doing?

make things happen. and things will happen. but your emotional aspect in the course of these events is your burden alone. how you view your place in this experience will make or break the joy of the experience.

[Rachael5922]

i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.

i understand also brother. i too am going through this now. i hope all became better in your world since you posted your thread.

[ninente]

let me chime in and say i am in a similar position to both jpstephens' and armithel's, so my thoughts and prayers are with you. i've just made a carefully considered life-changing decision about a health matter and today i took the first step implied by it. there will be many more because with this decision i have plunged into uncertainty the like of which i haven't known even though i thought i knew all about living on the edge.

it's been impossible for me as well to connect with anyone locally with similar spiritual interests where i live; i live in a cold, cold city in every sense of the word, and i am stuck here due to personal involvements which of course i chose although i don't think i'd be able to make the same choices again, knowing how hard it would be in so many ways. but... wherever i go, i take myself along; so it would be hard in some ways anywhere, under any circumstances. i too have to live on faith alone, not going by signs such as visions or extraordinary sightings, and i've had to do that for many years now, this time around. it gets both easier and harder: easier because i've learned what to do for my spirit but harder as i tire out. jesus did bless those who "have not seen and yet have believed," and i think people like us are specially blessed and gifted. the only problem is that our gifts aren't wanted in this world by very many.

within a few months i may be at the end of my resources, such as they are, with no way to support myself and those dependent on me. every aspect of my life is up for grabs now, as my past choices funnel me into this. and writing this, i see that it's a lot like a birth: first you get squeezed unbelievably as you are forced through that tunnel which seems way too small for you, and you better hang on or you won't make it out into the brand new (to you) world that's waiting, not alive anyway. so i am coming to rely on this forum for many things i need. whatever i needed has been there, all through my life, and i can hardly believe that is going to stop now - now of all times, when i'm actively working on my spiritual growth and not just leaving it to chance insights.

it occurs to me that most or all of us on this site are, have been, or will be going through times like this - whether on the financial or some other level, or a combination of many. we sure aren't alone, especially in this forum! some force ("me", maybe? -- perish the thought! ;-d) is indeed squeezing us in one last effort to tempt us to conform, to make ourselves over into something that will fit in with and even enjoy the violence, corruption, despair we see all around us. or at least that's the way it appears to me. at some stages of a birth, it's never exactly fun - unless we make it so. that's possible, too. we need to help one another with that as well - to lighten up, which is what's needed in the darkest times.

just yesterday i ran across a technique i intend to try out:
http://www.spiritual-learning.com/pillow-learning.html
if the link doesn't survive the moderator's cut, please pm me for it.

thanks to shin'ar for your emphasis on balance; i intend to have a look at my situation in terms of that and also look at what (else) i need to let go of, leave beside the road. someone else who really needs it may well happen along.

my prayer, for myself and all of us who are going through this at this time:
"i am scared. help me keep my heart open."

[Darklord1234]

hello all.i'm back.and wouldn't you know it...my latest relationship ended.she was too clingy.whoever told me about the co-dependency stuff was spot on.this time i walked away.trying to love myself.i still wish i could help my ex but she hates me now as she does all of her exes.no easy break up there.i just had to realize i can't save her from herself and you can only help those who wish to be helped.here's to hoping that someday she will let me back in.and thank you all for your help.namaste.

[gemlove]

hey darklord, i wonder about co-dependency too a bit of a messy one for me but i am working on it :) my mum was quite brave when she moved my alcoholic dad into a rehab and my dad was brave for going through it too, bless him. my mum chose not to let him move back in and she still says she regrets not giving him a second chance, i guess we all make mistakes :) this all happened a long time ago and they still don't talk to each other, not because they hate each other but because it is too painful for them. my mum is in a new relationship and my dad fell back into the drink and drugs, part of me thinks she did the right thing because of her outcome and part of me thinks maybe it is just because she got the upperhand. i think they could have benefited from aa which deals with both halves of these kind of relationships but who knows? i know what i have written dosn't solve things for you but it does show i have had life experience there, which is sometimes a help to know otherselves get it too!

[Darklord1234]

my honest thoughts now tho are did i make the right choice? was there more to it? i mean yes we encouraged each other's co-dependency so no good there, but i would at this point honestly be better off in almost every way had i stayed with her. i'm realizing that after many sacrifices for my family they now take it for granted.maybe she was aware of this when forcing me to choose.i chose my family again but i'm starting to think i need to start looking out for me.not selfish just put my own best interests in front for a while.i hate wondering and regretting that maybe she was right. maybe this wasn't the co-dependency test i thought it was but an honest attempt to help me out of my situation.although we were only together 5 months and she was at the i can't live without you phase when we broke up.so i'm leaning towards the co-dependency solution.i just wish i knew with more certainty you know?

[Wind]

how would someone go about getting tuned into their higher self? i know nothing about how to meditate and so on, but i know i have an ocean of power waiting to be let free. and its frustrating knowing its their, but unable to unlock it. any suggestions?

[Apophis]

the best question you could ask yourself in any difficult situation is; do i loving myself?

if you truly love yourself, then you will not let outside influences tell you otherwise.

[gemlove]

i wonder about the choices i make in my relationships also. i have been with my childhood sweetheart since i was 16, (i wasn't his but he was mine) i am 30 now and our relationship has changed so much over the years i wonder if it is a soul thing. if we hadn't stuck it out through the bad times we would not have seen the good times and witness to that has been almost unbelievable. just because relationships have elements of co-dependency doesn't mean it can't evolve. as our relationship evolves we are also working on our own issues too so there are times when one holds the other through the dark times, blaming each other for our own inabilities is often the downfall of relationships...maybe? we have 3 kids and it feels like i shoulder more than is within my means i tried to support myself with coffee to do the wonder woman routine (compulsive helper in me maybe?) eventually the burn out takes over and i am forced to change the way i do stuff, so the family are learning to do stuff for themselves which is a good thing and i have more time for doing the stuff i want to do. as for my partner, after a time of increased love and peace we have found ourselves at another level of the cake which pushes us to find an increased amount of steadfast. i am not sure how it will turn out, i don't quit easy and i don't have another relationship, this lifetime, to compare it to. i will continue to be loving myself as apophis has suggested and take course from there, it is interesting to read about how people handle themselves because it reminds me of the other possibilities of me. thanks.

[cameronjcw]

i really need some advice and/or help if possible. the flat i am in at the moment is not helping either me or my daughter, both of us are already not very well because of a genetic condition which is pretty much ravaging both of our bodies.

we moved to our current flat about two and a half years ago and are now trying to move as we have never settled right in here and its no thanks to our neighbours. neither of us bother anybody but despite this we have been threatened on more than one occasion, our neighbours upstairs are constantly banging pretty much 24/7 it feels like to both of us and we have also had another neighbour come to our door at 3 in the morning asking us if we had any alcohol to sell. this is all coming from three different neighbours and both me and my daughter feel that much of it is deliberate we have had the police out we tried to sort things out with a mediation groud and allsorts we have tried to ignore it or turn our own noise up just to drown it out but both of us are really really struggling here and all we want is to get the hell away from here. when we moved here it was supposed to be a fresh start for both of us and we were both really optimistic about the future but now we wish we hadnt bothered moving at all. we are on a list for housing but dont know how long its going to take. i really cant work anymore because of my condition not right now at least who knows maybe one day and my daughter is trying to start college as soon as she can find a decent course and also in a college that istn too much travelling although she should get help from disabled students fund.

i have tried and do try every day to just get on with things best i can right now because theres not a whole lot else i can do than i have already i just have to sit tight and hope to hell we get away from here as soon as possible.

i have always been really empathic and pick up on energy around me and it sticks like glue, my daughter is very similar. is there anything anybody here can suggest to try and stop this negative energy from affecting us like this!? i have managed once or twice but right now i am struggling with it a lot and its making things even more difficult and its affecting my own energy and am sure my daughters too, we have had arguments and disagreements in the past but never like we have since we got in here!! i need to shake this off and so does she can anybody please help or advise us with anything that might help?

i know in the source field investigations that david mentioned that one time the place where he was living was in close proxmity and that he was picking up negative energy from nearby neighbours, or something like that.

i need to be able to do something to help us while we are still stuck here because am pretty sure its affecting our health more too!! its actually making me negative, angry, hateful and making me feel almost really violent and i am never normally like this to anyone unless i am being bombarded with negative energy which is definitely happening here and i need to nip it in the bud. i really would appreciate any help or advice. i honestly dont know why our neighbours are like this with us but they have been pretty nasty and i am actually now feeling really scared if it doesnt stop soon im afraid i may just snap and reallly lose control and god knows what else. :(

[gemlove]

hi cameronjcw, some neighbours can feel like a right pest at times, especially the noisey drunken variety! if you feel like the negativity is already in your house you could try doing a space cleanse, you don't have to use sage smoke which can be a bit heavy, salt and a homemade cleaning wand work quite well and can be fun. dedicate the salt and sprinkle it over every area you feel needs it (the more aware you feel the easier it will be to locate the problem areas) then tie a clean cloth onto a stick (you could put a smokey quartz in there too if you have one) and put some essential oil on it (tea tree or lavender are probably the cheapest cleansers i have found) open all the windows and move the stick in circular motions throughout the space (go with the flow maybe say a prayer or use your fave sacred words). when done sweep or hoover up the salt, and know the space is more cleansed than it was. you can sprinkle salt around the perimeter of each room to absorb any more unharmonious energy that passes near and hoover it up next time you do the cleaning (just knowing its there can help reinforce your boundaries) you could also try leaving glasses of salted water near doors and on window sills and tip it away when it starts to feel foggy. windchimes could help too, give it a little tinkle when the inner peace gets threatened. i am a fan of having a living alter in each room and using candles etc. to promote good energy. sometimes i like to imagine i am breathing in white light and breathing out smoke with the negativity being carried away. when i feel really angry it is usually when i collect energy in the torso and not allowing it flow down my body into the earth. when i feel attacked or afraid i like to imagine i am in a bubble of golden energy, sacred and invinsable :0)

[cameronjcw]

thanks for the advice its much appreciated!! :) i have been meditating and visualising quite a bit the last couple of days and its already helped, whether its my frame of mind or something thats made the problem neighbours shut up a bit i dont know but i def feel better!! i done the meditating thing before when it was getting to me as its been a long term thing and it did seem to work too before, will definitely try some of the other stuff too!! i think the meditation thing does help but sometimes when i am exhausted and really worn out its easier for things to get to me and it seems to just sort of engulf you so you cant see the wood for the trees kinda thing. sooner we move from here the better! :)

[Angela]

hi everyone, i am new to this forum and have enjoyed reading here for a while before posting. i am pretty new to all the theories, and haven't read some of the subjects that you all talk about. i don't have the concentration span to read a lot of in depth material, but just go by what i personally find on my own path.
it seems to me that for most people life is a big struggle from the moment we are born until we die, and it seems it has always been this way. we all comprise the world, one big human family, all just trying to survive on this earth. how did we ever let things get this bad? it could have been heaven on earth, yet we all seem to have lives that are anything but heavenly.
its sad really to me, that human beings haven't been able to live harmoniously, and so many hearts that are filled with hatred toward their fellow brothers and sisters, perpetuating so much violence in this life.
i feel if people could all get past their ego based mindset, then maybe things would change.

[Angela]

i see a lot of people having relationship problems everywhere. i read something about that, and it goes like this:
any relationship we get into is a joining of two egos, usually. when we think of it like that, then surely it is doomed to failure, because we are not our egos. so the relationship is based on a lie. ego is an illusion.
after the initial phase of a relationship, i think they call it the "honeymoon phase", everything changes, once we are living with a person in a commited relationship, we have then the images of that person, and we look at them through the image we have built about them. we never see them in a true sense. it is always from the past experience.
also, if we are dependent on any person, then that also brings about its own issues. i feel that we all need to realise that within us we have everything we need, to stand alone and rely only on ourselves, then relationship could be something very different to what we experience.

[Angela]

i would like to share with you all what i have learnt "love" to be, and also to say i think it is the most misused word in our vocabulary.
first of all we have to understand what love is not. it is not pleasure, envy, greed, desire, thought, co dependency, sex, duality, basically all the stuff we tend to equate love with.
love exists in and of itself, it doesn't need anything, it just is, it asks for nothing.

[Apophis]

i see a lot of people having relationship problems everywhere. i read something about that, and it goes like this:
any relationship we get into is a joining of two egos, usually. when we think of it like that, then surely it is doomed to failure, because we are not our egos. so the relationship is based on a lie. ego is an illusion.
after the initial phase of a relationship, i think they call it the "honeymoon phase", everything changes, once we are living with a person in a commited relationship, we have then the images of that person, and we look at them through the image we have built about them. we never see them in a true sense. it is always from the past experience.
also, if we are dependent on any person, then that also brings about its own issues. i feel that we all need to realise that within us we have everything we need, to stand alone and rely only on ourselves, then relationship could be something very different to what we experience.

i have recently come to realize that the expectations i put on my partner have come directly from my relationship with one of my parents. ie my girlfriend represents my relationship with my mother, and the way i see myself represents my relationship with my father. furthermore the way i treat other people are yet again a representation with my parents. the situations i get myself into are representations of the situations i was in with my parents that i had not yet forgiven.

[Angela]

cameronjcw, wow sounds like you and your daughter are going through some pretty negative stuff! what a shame you have to be there right now. sounds like a pretty intolerable situation. its funny you know, just trying to find a peaceful existence, and the more we seem to want that the more that seems to go against us, lol. makes you wonder what we are supposed to learn from situations like that? have had similar scenarios in my own life with ratty neighbours, just wanting to make trouble.
i used to just ignore them, until i could move away. even now i live in a nice little street, and just sitting outside enjoying a beautiful day, and next thing the neighbours literally screaming at each other. its a crazy world out there, and seems like every neighbourhood has 'em.
maybe their patience is being tried just like everyone elses, with different coping mechanisms, but sometimes its just too much to have to tolerate.
i hope you will be able to move into a quieter location soon.

[Natho]

hi angela, and thanks for sharing.
it is a wonder to observe the human condition at its finest, then at its lowest, then back to fine again. every person that converges here does so because we see the world for what it really is rather than wadding through the so called muck, never looking beyond ourselves and our desires. the effects of lifes actions keep most people occupied in mind, and its here where the root causes are catalogued and pondered. the mindset of old is slipping away from us as we reach forward to more stable motions.

science tells us that we seem to be made of a semi rigid materials, the illusion seen at microscopic levels tells us that we are not. the more dense an object becomes, the less stable its structure and (thx to loo) the higher the distortion towards the material. it is a proportionate makeup, and we know that our composiotion is prodominatley fluid in nature.

this alone should shed light on why we are the way we are in current times, because we are semi solid we have stability issues. it doesnt help that big players with unnalligned agendas aid in dissinforming the public by compacting confusion. this is basically how it goes though, although we always choose the path ourselves, the challenge always arises at these stages. this time, it seems, we are giving ourselves quite a challenge to overcome, but if we can overcome this stage of evolution then the rest is downhill from there.

this stage in the earths evolution and mans time here should never be forgotten, this is our keystone to the future, the point where we choose our rightful destiny.

as for love angela, you are absolutley correct. love was there before form was :)

[MarkM]

i have recently come to realize that the expectations i put on my partner have come directly from my relationship with one of my parents. ie my girlfriend represents my relationship with my mother, and the way i see myself represents my relationship with my father. furthermore the way i treat other people are yet again a representation with my parents. the situations i get myself into are representations of the situations i was in with my parents that i had not yet forgiven.

i can relate, apophis!

i had a very tumultuous relationship with an overbearing father, and for deep seated emotional reasons i 'channeled' my father when i was married and raising four boys.

i reached a point fairly early on where i realized that this was happening, yet found that i would continuously reprise my father in ways that were unfair to my boys, and attempts to break out of this seemed futile; as many were the times that i would be involved emotionally with 'fatherly' guidance issues and the cycle would continue.

attempts were made by me to repress or stifle those behaviour patterns - attempts to simply stop being that way - but to little avail. although i had forgiven my father to the best of my ability i had not yet dealt with my own pain.

fast forward some years... i have learned, in no small measure from studying and practicing law of one principles, that repression of undesirable aspects of one's being doesn't work! these personality distortions are aspects of deep levels of who we have chosen to be, and represent opportunities to evolve these distortions into more evolved or harmonious distortions, and are not things to be repressed, cut out and discarded.

ra mentioned that when you perceive impatience bubbling up within yourself, try to find the polar opposite patience, and try that on for size... or words to that effect. this can be applied to any imaginable less-than-loving or less-than-desirable aspect of one's self.

even as we are attempting to polarize positively in this lifetime, in the sense of service to others, there is merit to considering that much of our distortion may be symptomatic of a pronounced imbalance in need of balancing and depolarizing. whereas attempting to conquer impatience without trying on patience is of dubious merit, so may be the attempt to conquer any imbalanced personality distortion without envisioning the opposite or inverse condition, and trying that on. i imagine that consistant practising of this exercise may result in the harmonizing of our conditions, rather than the repression of them.

a cigarette smoker may desperately desire to cease smoking, yet feel helpless in this regard as he finds he continues to smoke despite conscious determination to not do so. this may be symptomatic of a deep-seated, subconscious issue which is not yet raised to the surface. he may eventually come to accept and stop fighting the smoking and determine to see the smoking as a signpost to what may be otherwise an invisible distortion - the smoking may be there to alert him and to act as a trail of breadcrumbs leading right down to a deep-seated emotional blockage which he may not ever discern without the smoking.

here, it may be wise to examine the repeating emotional manifestations which arise when the hard urge to light up arises, and practicing feeling the polar opposite feeling. hopefully the negative emotion overlaid by its polar opposite may help create a net nullification of the original emotional charge, and thus indirectly allow for the quitting. mark

[Angela]

apophis, that is true, we have our parents as role models for any future relationships, they are all part of our conditioning. not just in relationship but in other aspects of life also. as we all know our parents are the very first presence in our lives to nurture us as infants, through all the steps through to adulthood. our teachers, and yet they aren't perfect. when we have a child, there is no manual that comes with that, so it is a new learning curve for new parents. i have had 4 children, and have tried to be the best parent i could be, and i am by no means perfect, i made mistakes, but love my children with all my heart, and hope they can forgive that i wasn;t perfect. guess i'm just trying to give you a parental perspective on it all, and hope you can learn to forgive, and unburden yourself from all the past baggage, because it does weigh us down.

[Angela]

natho, hi, and thankyou. what you say makes sense.:)
i enjoy reading the posts here, and appreciate peoples different opinions. you guys talk about all kinds of stuff on here, and am not familiar with some of the content of which you are all talking about, although we are all on a path, and the lessons learnt. personal journeys i have also gone through, and i know my journey is not unique, but is everyone elses journey too. it is the human condition, and in that i am not different in what i have gone through. all of us go through many trials and tribulations in life. that is our life. that is the human conciousness.
sometimes it feels as if life is just a big classroom, and we have come here to learn lessons, to overcome immense obstacles. i guess as the old adage goes, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, and there is some truth in that it seems. maybe a test of our inner strengths, and to be able to come through it all with another lesson learnt.
it just seems that when we are younger everything is so much more intense, yet as we get older and hopefully a bit wiser, life just kind of has a different meaning, with the urgency to make everything right.

[Apophis]

here, it may be wise to examine the repeating emotional manifestations which arise when the hard urge to light up arises, and practicing feeling the polar opposite feeling. hopefully the negative emotion overlaid by its polar opposite may help create a net nullification of the original emotional charge, and thus indirectly allow for the quitting. mark

no i think this is more of the same.
if we are all one then there is no opposite feeling to incite.
this is just pushing the pendulum the other direction so it can swing for a longer period of time.

forgiveness is the only way to stop the wheel of karma.
forgiving the person who first started the pendulum swinging will allow you to let the pendulum once again rest.
and if there is only one of us here, then you forgive the person you blame and you forgive yourself, simultaneously.

i will step out on this limb and share my experience with you all.
when i was young i loved my parents, especially my mother. she was my whole world. my father worked many hard hours and spend most of his free time relaxing. so my mother was where most of my emotions connected to. when i got to an age where my world view was quickly expanding i began to notice how people treated one another. in particular i noticed how my mother treated my father, and compared it to how she treated me. to my shock i was not treated the same..... i saw an amazing love between them! and i wanted that love for myself. unknowingly i began to emulate my father to get the same kind of love and admiration from my mother. however to my disgust my mother began to reject my affection. it was not my love that she rejected it was the 'couples affection' that she rejected. not knowing the different at that age i mistakenly thought my mother was rejecting me. and that wounded me pretty deeply. i stopped being affectionate in that way with my mother and consequently stopped being affectionate with all women. and in fact when the pain of that trauma was heightened i would do one of two things, pull my emotions and affection back further, or push it into people faces until they pulled themselves back from me, thus re-enacting the original wound. neither of the two ways this problem swung was helping. eventually with the help of my beautiful current girlfriend i found that that wound was still greatly affecting my life and if i didn't heal it soon it could easily destroy many of the things i worked had for. with some quiet talk and true self searching i was able to bring myself to that moment. and when i realized from my matured point of view that my mother did love me but didn't want to be my lover i was able to forgive her for rejecting me. thus i simultaneously forgave myself for trying to be. and that is what was able to begin the healing process. now whenever those past issues come up i can confidently say to myself, mother i forgive you for rejecting me as a lover, you have a beautiful relationship with my father and it is not my place to interrupt that. i also forgive myself for mistakenly wanting that kind of affection from my mother.

that cleared up a ton of emotional blockages!!! now i am working on the wounds of my father. as i relate to women as i relate to my mother, i relate to myself as i relate to my father. thus healing the wounds between us will allow me the benefit of healing how i see myself.

none of this healing came from pushing one way or another, it came from the source of the swing itself. forgiveness is the key.

[Apophis]

further along this journey we may find a whole web of wounds that stretch for eons!!
a lot of this next section was sparked from the interview on conscious media network with elena tonetti vladimirova, and her amazing treatments of childbirth.

we all carry wounds some are healed in our lifetime and some are not. those wounds that are not healed are unknowingly passed on to our children. we find ourselves acting like our parents in situations when we fought against what they did when we were in the opposite shoes. this inadvertently creates wounds in our children. the same wounds in fact that we had been living with our whole lives. and if our kids aren't smart enough to heal these wounds they more than likely pass them on to there children as well. and this is how a single wound can pass through generations until it is finally healed by one person. it only takes one! if i heal my wounds then my children will not be forced to carry them for me. and the wheel of karma stops. angela has learned this from experience but if we can pass this on to young adults before they become parents then we may hold the key to truly transforming our future! let's forgive the past so that we can leave the things we carry with us, there. the future is in front of us when we put the wounds of the past in the future they only hold us back. let go of them, forgive them.

i also believe this is the root of many of our current communities, some call religions. forgiveness is the core of many of our current religions yet forgiveness is rarely practiced within those institutions and communities. and it may have come about due to the lack of forgiveness. let me explain. if there is a greedy person who was wounded by there lack of money or whatever in the past they then wounded their children in the same way. and for generations without forgiveness, in fact generations of more and deeper wounds, the pain gets further and further out of hand in a big way. let's say the wounds become so prevalent they are accepted more than the forgiveness and healing of them. then those wounded individuals come into power in places that were designed to offer forgiveness and healing. then those places of healing become places to become wounded. in that type of world it is increasingly hard to find any real help, any real healing. and when we twist this knife even further we can see that severely wounded people are placed as idols in front of the masses. and many people who have similar wounds feed right into those who they idolize.

i'm saying the people of the world are bombarded with wounds from birth to death and we have the power to change this. we have the power to forgive the wounds of the past. if one generation were to forgive all at once then the next generation to come from them would be living in a golden age.

there are people wounded so deeply that they know nothing but how to wound others. and they are the ones who need to be forgiven the most. people who have lived with severe wounds for many years if not many lifetimes will be opposed to the healing of those wounds, because wounding others is the only way they know how to keep them from exposing and upsetting the original wound. in essence they need to exert power and control over another, so that the other does not inflame the pain they carry.



thanks for listening!
-apophis

[gemlove]

i have been through a shed load of relational repatterning and so far still alive...lol (lots of love) for years i channelled my boyfriends dead father to the point we thought i was his reincarnation (laughable now but the stuff i was coming out with wasn't from my memory and i was carrying his emotional imprint so i could really feel his love for his son, strange life experience but thats how it was) as if that wasn't life experience enough my whilst drunk partner had the ability to carry the fury of a resident killer who killed my boyfriends brother in a past life (could it really have been more bizarre?) we experienced times of great suffering and unconsciousness yet the will for light prevailed and we managed to build a path to a better destiny. our journey continues, i have seen how i want my relationship to be and am allowing the patterns to come up for completion (some with a very long ancestoral history). i know the end result is worth it just gotta keep going.
i quit smoking for the last time 3 years ago, it had been an on/ off relationship for many years but got there in the end :) my greatest challenge at the moment is staying in my body and grounding the waves of patterns passing through me, what next i wonder? my sister told me that in spanish there are 2 words for love, one means i need and the other unconditional, i believe there is an unconditional spark that is followed by the need. as we follow the need we are drawn to our destination, the unconditional. maybe one day we will all be too cool for earth school and when we look back over our shoulders at the creation we will see everything we did was unconditional, well thats how i see it. who knows?
i have learnt alot from reading about you guys, thanks.

[Angela]

i don't mean this to be a begging and pleading thread, but i seriously need some help. there are many enlightened individuals here whom i know are my spiritual friends, many of whom i have never met or spoken with in a physical sense of the word. my life is a mess. i'm unemployed, and unemployable in a very real sense, due to incompatibility with 3d existence. the more i learn spiritually the less employable i become, and yet i know of the two, that the spirituality is the more important at this time in my reality. my 3d life is collapsing around me and i can't seem to do anything to stop it. this month is the final fraying thread, as my life prepares to end as i've known it. i don't know what to do. i have a wife and twin 11 yr. old girls and my sense of responsibility is beating me up incessantly, not to mention my wife, while my sense of spirituality is constantly telling me that a normal job is not the answer, and neither offers an alternative that can provide security for my family. i have many skills developed to greater and lesser degree, and am unable to find employment utilizing any of them, i have financial skills but no money with which to exercise them. i know i am the creator of this reality, but that knowledge doesn't alleviate the need. i'm at the breaking point and the stress is only increasing. i want... i need... a job that contributes to the raising of consciousness on the planet, the propagation of truth, the increasing of spirituality, and the building of a free world. it has to be out there because i'm driven to find it.

i am open to all suggestion or offers.

Going back to the original post of this thread, what you are going through is what so many other people are going through also. We are going through some desperate times, for sure. So many stories of hardship out there, and it is sad that people are placed in such impossible situations.
You say you are unemployable because of the spiritual realisations you have come to, but on the other hand, there are the responsibilities that are there there for all of us on a daily basis.
The only way any of us can escape the so called "rat race", is if we have the resources. Many people are finding a way to live an alternate lifestyle, away from cities, to become more self sufficient for their own needs, instead of relying on the system.
Maybe you could research into how some of these people manage to make the change they feel is so necessary, and perhaps have contact with them to find out their story in how the brought about the changes in their life.
Just a suggestion, and if this is what resonates with you, then i have always thought that where there is the will we can usually find a way.
If you live in the USA, i think there is a way you can claim some land for free, because i can remember my hubby and i reaearching into that a while ago, but can't remember what that was called offhand. He just looked stuff up on the computer about it.
Good Luck