When good girls go bad!

[billybobbutterball]

hi. glad you stopped by.

please excuse the bizarre b-movie-like title.:eek:

no, bbb doesn't now stand for big bad bill --i just wanted to make sure i got the moderator's attention here (those fine people will be all over this like frosting on cake!:d)

all that said, the "when the good goes bad" motif does seem to apply to seemingly positive affirmations that unexpectedly generate negative results on certain person's psyche.

here's the rub, positive personal affirmations do increase the self esteem of those who already have a modicum of positive appreciation for self. however, strange as it may seem, those suffering from a bad opinion of self simply don't buy the positive message and react negatively ... in fact they actually feel better when the affirmation is negative and thus confirms their opinion!

how this fits into the loo's concept of negative and positive polarity i don't know, except it does tickle one's imagination. one thing that comes to mind is that critics who reject another's opinion are self-rewarded by getting a shot of happy-juice (seratonin?) into their brain which makes them feel so good!

the message here is that simply advising someone suffering from reactive depression to pull themselves together and think positive thoughts, might be an rx that is contra-indicated.:confused:

stop! before you have another dangerous self-thought, please check out this link from dr. mercola:rolleyes:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/25/can-self-help-make-you-feel-worse.aspx

best, billybobbutterball, hoping your happy thoughts are also good thoughts!

[Deerclan]

billybobbutterball, is it possible that transformation, positive change, in the sort of situation you are describing can be analogous to taking out the household garbage, when the first step is to open up the lid? i guess pretty much all of us know what kind of fumes can rise up to hit us in the fact when we do that, huh? not sure if i am following you 100% here, so i thought i would ask.

deerclan

[transiten]

spot on! i've been there. it's extremely painful to hear someone say "don't you see the light"? when you're in the middle of total blackness and agony, since this revelas the other persons own fear and inability to let you be exactly where you are and understand why. you are in that moment denied to have the feelings you have and you feel totally abandoned and not understood.

transiten going to bed, happy to be out of that scary place.

[billybobbutterball]

hi deerclan.

sorry to be so late. trouble was i couldn't figure out your analogy.:p

i think what is involved is an odd combination of rebelliousness, low self worthiness and masochism.

oddly enough many folk feel more comfortable when berating themselves ---it seems to them at the time as simply being honest. thus to be upbeat about oneself seems to be sinfully dishonest. (of course it has been shown that "faking it until you make it" does work...in fact, the mere act of laughing is taken by the naive subconscious mind to be genuine hilarity...and the body and mind juices respond accordingly.:cool:)

so being honest seems to offer some satisfaction. a friend of a friend of mine is religiously consumed--praying and praying--on and on. but she laments that she is totally depraved, worthless, unworthy, "rotten to the core". now the odd part about this is that she is a kleptomaniac. so, by confessing that she is rotten does that self-evaluation enable her to keep on stealing anything that is smaller than a bread basket and not nailed down with railroad spikes? yeah. if she is so helpless in her depredation how
can she be expected to do otherwise? for her a great excuse to keep on keeping on?

my friend tries to point out that since she is made in the image of god, that it is blasphemous to think such nasty thoughts about an entity who is created in his image. :d

the other part in my earlier post is that the act of putting someone else's opinion down is rewarded, by proving a person wrong (even tho they might be claiming you are the best and loveliest of god's creatures) can be more rewarding in uplifting the ego than agreeing that he is indeed 'right on' and luxuriating in the praise. go figure!

here is insight from omraam mikhael aivanhov that casts bright light on this dark subject.

"you cannot deny that evil exists, you must recognize it and take precautions. but just because evil exists doesn’t mean you should see nothing but that. unfortunately, there are people who delight in evil as though it were food and drink to them: they’re obsessed with scandals, tragedies and filth. they claim they talk about evil so as to denounce and confront it. but no, that’s untrue, they talk about it because they love it, and they revel in it. they would be bored without it, there’d be nothing to say, nothing to write about.

children should be taught to prefer all that is beautiful, good,noble and pure while they are still very young. it’s much more beneficial for the formation of their character! and besides,that’s what true education is: to try to nurture in children a love of all that is best, for only the love of beauty, goodness and justice truly allows us to neutralize the evil in ourselves and in others."

omraam mikhaël aïvanhov

best! bbb




billybobbutterball, is it possible that transformation, positive change, in the sort of situation you are describing can be analogous to taking out the household garbage, when the first step is to open up the lid? i guess pretty much all of us know what kind of fumes can rise up to hit us in the fact when we do that, huh? not sure if i am following you 100% here, so i thought i would ask.

deerclan

[transiten]

hi!

i always thought that the saying "you are right, you ought to be hanged" came from my mother, but since i regained contact with my father it shows that she had it from him....

this is actually a complex we both have -no wonder- i even wrote about it in a song; if you can't have the love you can at least be right and the other person wrong.

i'm actually trying to formulate an answer to one of the mods concerning one of my posts with astrologyreferences that was not allowed and with a motivation that really stirred my emotions.

i'm going through a lot of feelings and thoughts and i will not write anything until i feel i'm not taking it personal and i'm not arguing just to "be right" and having a "rush of satisfaction" but hopefully come to some mutual understanding.

namaste from transiten

[billybobbutterball]

hi.

this thread keeps on hanging around...refuses to go into the archives. so i might as well find something new to add on.

there has been lots of discussion about love, and sending love, and loving sending love.

i've been pondering some questions -- and right at the psychological moment (an old hackneyed expression that has been so long forgotten it now seems fresh again!) came some welcome input from an old friend, albeit long gone...sorta

anyway, please ponder this bit of guidance from omraam.

"humans will disappoint you and make you suffer, that’s inevitable, but allow your spring to flow, that is, do not stop loving. you may say, ‘but we’re fed up with always being ill-treated, deceived and wronged.’ it’s better to be ill-treated, deceived and wronged than to prevent your innerspring from flowing. you can always make up for losses or disappointments, but if the spring of love stops flowing you are lost, and inside yourself you become a quagmire.

obviously, it’s better if you know how to direct and channel the water from this spring to prevent it from flowing all over the place and into gardens where it will be helping just wild grasses or stinging nettles to grow. the spring should not be left to run dry, but there is nothing to stop you from protecting it and ensuring that its flow supplies only god’s children. and the others, what is to be done with them? that is not our business, life will take care of them."

omraam mikhaël aïvanhov

well, according to the law of one, we are all god's children, so i would soften the above advice somewhat. the loving evocation that i broadcast to the heavens is this: "let there be the highest and best good for all concerned!" a very important note: i would direct this appeal to the most capable entities in the higher spiritual estates and offer them full responsibility to figure out the necessary details needed to bring that proposed ideal condition to fruition! hmmm? is this cheating?

whatever ... lots of love...with no strings attached! bbb

[Ewhaz]

hmm, i experienced this in my personal walk many times.

i have been struggling with the 'creating your own reality' scenario as i have pointed out in many posts.

i noticed that since i was trying to take responsibility for my actions and how they effect the world at large, i became part of a catch 22. the 'life sucks' which because of the new pattern lead to 'life sucks because i created it that way' which led to 'life sucks even more because life sucks and i created it that way!' it became a constant battle, trying to resolve this situation. i had to learn to love myself even deeper than before, being able to forgive and love myself and all my perfect imperfections.

i remember reading somewhere that when you try to begin loving, you experience a time of deep turbulence where it seems that nothing goes right. they stated that this was akin to stagnant water, to use the spring analogy, when you turn on the spigot the influx of love tends to stir up the sediment on the bottom, it stirs it up so you can deal with it in order to allow the love to flow more fully. so when you experience this, hang on and ride it out, continue loving yourself and others in the deepest way possible and the water will clear eventually and everything will be green again!

[BrianEn]

i feel compelled to leave a reply here.

in my own experience with low self-esteem/worth/image has been nothing but an up hill battle. those little sayings that we tell ourselves to feel good about ourselves are like putting band-aids on gaping head wounds. i felt bad about myself because i had a negative core belief system about myself. i was bad/stupid, and then i surrounded myself with people who wanted to help me reinforce those beliefs, by reminding me that i was all those things plus more.
going about fixing the problem is a long process that requires more than reading a self help book or two or repeating the message of a self help guru. it took me years to find a good place in my life. i first had to recognize this as a problem and then want to change. then i had to get rid of the people that wanted to keep me like that. that's when the work started. i had to rewrite everything in that book. i had to come to believe that i wasn't all bad. then i had to come to believe that i wasn't all good. i had to come to believe that i was many shades of grey. i had to come to believe that i was human just as everyone else is.
today i can look myself in the mirror and say that i love you to myself. it doesn't feel odd or funny. it's just how i feel about myself now. i'm not perfect. i still make mistakes. i err in judgement. i'm not gonna let anyone come in and take that again. it was difficult to attain.
i guess it all boils down to belief. if you believe that saying something in mirror helps, or if you're using it as a part of the solution sure go ahead and say it. if you're trying to use self affimations to fix the entire problem by itself....it won't work as well. by all means keep using them.

[HardKnockSoldi3r]

hi. glad you stopped by.

please excuse the bizarre b-movie-like title.:eek:

no, bbb doesn't now stand for big bad bill --i just wanted to make sure i got the moderator's attention here (those fine people will be all over this like frosting on cake!:d)

all that said, the "when the good goes bad" motif does seem to apply to seemingly positive affirmations that unexpectedly generate negative results on certain person's psyche.

here's the rub, positive personal affirmations do increase the self esteem of those who already have a modicum of positive appreciation for self. however, strange as it may seem, those suffering from a bad opinion of self simply don't buy the positive message and react negatively ... in fact they actually feel better when the affirmation is negative and thus confirms their opinion!

how this fits into the loo's concept of negative and positive polarity i don't know, except it does tickle one's imagination. one thing that comes to mind is that critics who reject another's opinion are self-rewarded by getting a shot of happy-juice (seratonin?) into their brain which makes them feel so good!

the message here is that simply advising someone suffering from reactive depression to pull themselves together and think positive thoughts, might be an rx that is contra-indicated.:confused:

stop! before you have another dangerous self-thought, please check out this link from dr. mercola:rolleyes:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/07/25/can-self-help-make-you-feel-worse.aspx

best, billybobbutterball, hoping your happy thoughts are also good thoughts!

hey there billybob.

i think i can clarify this whole "possitive affirmations attempted by pessamistic persons result in more negativity" issue.

think of good past experiences . . .emotion knows no time, but your mind can forget.

i used to hate the world. this came from childhood experiences. although things are terrible now, there is no child who has experienced a joyful moment in the "past." i'll continue after this example:

example:
i had a g/f in 5th grade who impacted me more than any one in my life, although short lived. it was still the best feeling of acceptance i've ever felt. thats why i dream of her occasionally over the past 10 years (i'm 21), even last night in fact!

i was pondering which experience would trigger positive energy flow to my naval chakra, like desiring something. then i thought about love. there is none in my life! but there was one. as long as i allow that memory of love into my consciousness, i have achieved giving and receiving love, as what you think, you create!

some depressed who sayd "i love my self" won't understand this concept. they must experience it. search your memory for experiences of desire, personal power, love, expression, etc. and make sure it pertains to you personally.

we're not able enough to manifest love out of nothingness you see. i've lived this. that's where we get "stuck."

[billybobbutterball]

question: can the pessimist/optimistic pendulum swing too
far wide of an equipoise center-point? :(-:)-:p

most people i know suffer from depression, a personality disease that draws virtually all of the available attention from the giant pharmaceutical giants....sadly, until now, virtually no help has been offered for those poor souls who have been fighting symptoms of over-exuberance; what a burden to bear! always expressing constant, irritating enthusiasm that has destroyed their marriages and alienated scores of friends.

but after long last has finally come a pharma answer to this tragic disability.... it is simply called, despondex.

see video for exciting information concerning this remarkable pharmaceutical breakthrough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd4tugpm83c

perhaps it can help you -- or a loved one.

best, billybobpillpopper:o

please note: as per usual...accept what resonates, what doesn't seem right to you please discard without second thought. ( :>))

[billybobbutterball]

there is little doubt that this thread does examine some negative, dark issues and identify aspects that can sabotage our best interests....stuff needed to be recognize and acknowledged but not overly dwelt upon.

it needs to be brightened up some!:)

this morning, when i staggered into into the bathroom and confronted a bleary image, the natural thought came rushing to the fore...who the h..l could love that? :eek:

not the best thought to start the new day.....but then this came along, cheered me up immensely... and set a new input imprint for my particular biology of belief.

please keep in mind that the mere act of smiling or laughing has a profoundly beneficial effect on our mind body spirit whatever....exotic monitoring instruments don't lie in this particular case!

my new resolution is to give this a daily view as i sip away at my economy green tea concoction! i invite you to set aside your "bad girl" side and with open heart soak this in! really! then take a deep breath --soak in the prana and go run a marathon...or perhaps walk up a gentle hill and soak up the sunshine?

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/08/23/everyone-needs-to-hear-this-more-often-_2620_.aspx

smiles! remember, at some level we all know each other and i confess, "i love you"!!

billybobbutterball (:>))

[Natho]

there is little doubt that this thread does examine some negative, dark issues and identify aspects that can sabotage our best interests....stuff needed to be recognize and acknowledged but not overly dwelt upon.

it needs to be brightened up some!

this morning, when i staggered into into the bathroom and confronted a bleary image, the natural thought came rushing to the fore...who the h..l could love that? :eek:

billybobbutterball

your statement regarding your view upon seeing the image in the mirror made me laugh, thank you for the positive effect. with humour like this, who could not love you :d

## reply from billybob: thanks for the compliment....however, lacking a proposal of marriage your comment is more gratuitous than real . (:>))

[transiten]

thanks bbb!

still haven't met mr right, but this video goes a long way...good night from sweden.

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[billybobbutterball]

hi!

although this thread (when good girls go bad! ) started out looking at examples of negativity -- which effectively aped some of the serotonin pleasure inducements of positivity -- we have now switched polarity ... big time!! (hooray!)

in my opinion sivan garr is a most remarkable soul with great heart -- which is wholeheartedly and most uncomplicatedly dedicated to healing. her technique is deceptively simple, but most powerful. i'm impressed. please take a look-see to see if you also agree. here are some examples to check out... its hard to remain unmoved when you are told that you are indeed 'beautiful' :) and that people give you a "thumb's up" and state unconditionally that they 'believe' in you!! :d

http://sivangarr.com/healingmessages.html

best, bbb (beautiful, believed in and beloved ! ( ;>)) ..thanks, sivan!

[Rachael5922]

when i read the title to this thread i laughed!

this thread reminds me of a french man named urbain grandier. he lived in the 1600's and was french. he was accused of having sexual affairs and sending a demon after others when they reported him. he was burned alive. established thought patterns dictate what is wright/write/right and what is wrong. the lower on the totem pole the more wrong one has to overcome perhaps?

for four years i have been working on self love. i am actually starting to believe in myself.

[Jeia Ra Manuk]

lol to the tittle.
=]
i had a bf once. he was an okay guy. i liked him and decided to tell him something that no one outside of my family really knew about me, that i was chronically depressed. he dumped me saying he could not love somebody who does not love them self.

he only loves himself though. he only cares about how his body looks and how many girls are hanging on his shoulders.

so the next relationship i had was a pity one. i cared for the guy very little. i was very centered on myself. he had panic attacks. i would hold him through it. no matter how centered i become on myself i cannot turn someone down when they are in pain. strange enough he was able to cheat on me twice. i forgave him the first time and the second time it was perfect timing for me to cut it off. he says i taught him to love.
after that he went on a long journey to self realization, after which he finally settled down and found a nice girl.

the next relationship that came around i decided to love myself equally to how i love him. we are now married and have a baby. our relationship has its ups and downs but overall the fact that i am able to stand up for what i believe in while meeting with his needs as well, taught me that sometimes i just have to cover up my actions to later uncover them in a big point making argument, which i win, exactly because of this secret tactic!

thus agree to disagree and try not to criticize too much. the less you criticize the more likely you will receive less criticism. although it is impossible to built a perfect system in which everyone's needs will be met, at least we can say we tried and at least meet the basic needs of everybody!

i love all of you without exception! i love myself and through this love i am able to love all! if i love myself and love all then i do not need to expect love in return, for someone already loves me= me!

love and light and love,
et

[blackfellawhitefella]

... even though i'm seemingly all effed up
i deeply
and completely
accept myself

[billybobbutterball]

my take on all this:

i unrelentingly struggled -- long and hard through many years -- in order to finally enable a love of myself; last month i thought i had succeeded completely!!

...then a week later i suddenly realized i was merely infatuated.

i think i had best settle for a lukewarm liking...tho even that is difficult after i contribute a silly posts like this one.

luv!! bbb! :)

[amy rigg]

everything has to balance out - there has to be bad so there can be good, can't have sweethearts like dalai lama if you don't balance it with someone like hitler - i try not to judge, just watch. :cool:

[Jeia Ra Manuk]

a total joke but seeing how its been dry for a while and no one seems to be cracking any:

ok, lets watch as there's gonna be a war with some crazy guy going bananas if dw continues to tilt the weights.

dalai lama was a human being, native to earth.
dw, eh, not so much =]

maybe its because they had no real woman to balance them out ;) ... (yet for dw)

love and light and love,
ra ma

ps: trying to keep it sane because i just saw a ufo 3 hours ago

[billybobbutterball]

hi, guys, gals, men, women. big-bad billybob back again,

early on but now behind this post i mentioned an up-beat, do-gooder by the name of sivan garr.
i posted links to several of her catchy videos... but evil forces have invalidated the links..
so, rather than try to stick new links where they belong i'm taking the easy way out and putting
an all-purpose link right here.

i have trouble with stuff like this so hope it works!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvqjperwkek

if it doesn't, just paste and copy it on google search.
sivan has a host of videos,,, you are bootiful!, i believe in you, i love you! (really need that one sometime! most of the time)

when you find her at home, there is a whole list of upbeat goodies to choose from...all i can say is her stuff makes me feel like a good ol' billybob--not a mad, bad one..

sooo! i love you!! (just because i believe in you, besides, you are so darn super-beautiful!!) (:>))

[transiten]

http://www.google.se/url?url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3fv%3dqxo3nfqkarm&rct=j&sa=x&ei=hbyutqpepobv4qtdmvzvbw&ved=0cc0quaiwaa&q=mishka+talking+dog&usg=afqjcnepcznl7tzbvqrqskpe3ch5hdir_a&cad=rja

oooops! that was a long adress, sometimes i succeed sometiems not...maybe better to google for "misha talking dog" i love you!

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[transiten]

i'm off to stockholm by an "early morning train" and wanted to check if someone noticed this wonderful doggie...thinking of my beloved pajazzo i had to put to rest in august...by the way, my father who i am visiting was born 02 02 1922. time was 02.02 as i posted the talking dog!

transiten