How do you cope with 3D life?

[noel1111]

not sure if this belongs in another thread or not...

im curious as to how everyone is dealing with the day to day hem and haw of a 3d life? since i've become more aware i've been exceptionally tired at my job and the daily tasks we all have to go through. it just feels so pointless to me. really? this is my life?

i've always felt my entire life i was supposed to be doing something bigger and more important. but can never seem to figure out what that thing is... but yet i feel so trapped now. we all need money to live and so we have to work. how does everyone cope? i find myself craving nature and the woods more and more and going from concrete building to concrete building just seems so wrong and futile.

i really try to carry joy and love with me...but you know its tiring. especially with the bombardment of negativity. it really is a test sometimes.

curious to know how others cope??

[Bill]

noel...

i think just about everyone here has gone through the same challenges, i know i did.

the problem with awakening is the assumption that it means that we must be living something larger, something more purposeful. and that usually leads to a live of living like a monk, assuming i should be not compensated for pursuing spirituality... sound familiar?

the trick, if you wish to call it that, is to remember what brought you to the awakening. there are a certain set of skills that you display in this life that allows you to be in the zone, to express what you feel called to do. problem is, most people assume there is a job called that, and spend their life looking for it. find the opportunities to apply those skills where you are, where ever you are.

mine is problem solving, and helping to connect the dots. great thing is that you can do that anywhere, and is especially effective when you act as a leader... not, do as i say, but... i will go first, and help shine the light on this experience we have conjured up. can i assist in shining the light so that you too can see what you were looking for? that is my soul purpose, and it took me 4+ years to realize that it is not a specific job or position to do that, but to do that in every moment...

hope that helps.

[Katarina57]

hi noel 1111,
there are a few threads here about the tired feelings and also about the futile feeling we sometimes feel..(i just wrote about it myself in another thread)..do not think only of where you feel you may be going, but try to remember why you chose to be here..now.. in this time. the reasons you are here are important..to you..to me..and to all. at times we may feel the shifts, changes or whatever we are experiencing in us are all important, but we must not let go of the joys that are unique to this earthly life..look into the faces of those you meet and know. know them like you know yourself.. love them and through them love yourself.

in my case..i have to remind myself..that i am not trapped here, i am just at times confused between what i knew to be..and what is. (it sometimes is exhausting) this is hard to explain to others in my immediate life, so sometimes i feel alone..and then i remember i am far from alone as i am connected to everything..and the realization and excitement of that keeps me not only wanting to share..but to also understand all of those around me and the *wheres and whys* of them..

if i were you i would spend time in those places you love to be (in nature)...but also love where you must be ..(ie work..the grocery store..stuck in traffic..or concrete buildings)..instead of thinking of my work..as work..i try to develop relationships with those i work with..use mundane errands as an opportunity to be of sto..sometimes it doesn't work..lol..but i try to stay connected none the less.

i find that in this awakening i feel, that i have lost *big emotion (highs and lows) maybe because i am surprised by very little these days and expect certain things to happen..i also think that i sometimes confuse that lack of big emotion with depression when really i am just more even keeled..i even find that the love i have is like..hhmm..spread out..for example..i love my family but it has become a very..firm..i do not have *love worry* for example (love like a knot in th pit of your stomach)..like when you worry when your teenager is out too late..but i feel i am loving more deeply with more understanding..but it feels a little odd too..
..i dont know if that makes sense..and really would be curious if anyone else feels this way>>.

if i were to give any advice, it would be to would rest..and meditate..ask for help..and energy....it will come:)

[Purple Dragon]

i've always felt my entire life i was supposed to be doing something bigger and more important. but can never seem to figure out what that thing is... but yet i feel so trapped now.

it is a very common emotion among us as we awaken, we want to help everyone and have a huge impact, just have the world be smart enough to work together instead of constantly fighting each other. but the important thing to remember is before we love anyone, we have to love ourselves. the biggest, most important thing for all of us to do, is believe in ourselves as one. one step at a time, we will all get to the end, enjoy the journey.


i really try to carry joy and love with me...but you know its tiring. especially with the bombardment of negativity. it really is a test sometimes.

everything that happens in life is a catalyst for learning, and sometimes the test`s are difficult. just remember you can choose to have fun, even when no one around you is. they can try and push your emotions, but in the end it`s you that decides how to deal with any situation. just smile :d

[vandance22]

the mind is rooted in the body, and so i try to do something active. this becomes extremely important when you working an office job that is mostly sedentary in nature.

i started going to the gym at my local community center to fight depression, and i found that not only did it help in this regard, but i found that it also helped with my mental stamina and concentration.

[noel1111]

thank you for your very kind words of encouragement. it is good for me to remember that these things must happen as part of my own spiritual growth. and yesterday was a very hard day mentally. lots of family/work drama. its funny now these big tests seem to be coming all at the same time one after another and then long portions where nothing happens. i think that is so i can get myself back to even.

i also feel that i've been tuning into more of other people's energies and think it may be a bit draining on me. that gets very difficult because i live in a large city and am always surrounded by people. even when i meditate i can hear neighbors or cars and sirens. i have taken this as another test that in the chaos i can still find peace. but it is a challenge. anyone else have that happening?

[11wanderer11]

i may just be going through some temporary phase right now, but life with other-selves is definitely more difficult for me to cope with lately. in general i don't really talk unless necessary but i find that as my awareness grows i talk even less and crave more solitude. i don't even really like greetings most of the time (hey/what's up) because it seems so pointless, just like grunting or something. i'd much rather prefer just to nod my head, but even then it's like, ok, you're here i'm here no big deal, let's not get offended because i don't want to make eye contact. i somehow manage to get by at work in a small, crowded, noisy, and highly stressful office by a self-induced trance coupled with constant music to keep me in the zone. then i do yoga/meditation at lunch break (luckily there is woods by the office). anyway, i feel myself sort of drifting away further and further from everyone. i find myself being annoyed and even genuinely disturbed by people's attitudes and ignorance. basically i no longer have any desire to 'chit-chat' or socialize with meaningless activities such as television or video games, and i can feel people's (family and friends of course) confusion and even negativity towards me because they don't seem to understand my perspective at all and i wouldn't even want to try because then they'd probably just think i'm crazy. if they didn't, they still couldn't begin to grasp the state of mind since they've not even begun to search truth for themselves. anyway, this forum is definitely a help, but my next big goal is to become adept at leaving my body(astral projection) and fully lucid dreaming/remembering.

[aqcheryl]

not sure if this belongs in another thread or not...

im curious as to how everyone is dealing with the day to day hem and haw of a 3d life? since i've become more aware i've been exceptionally tired at my job and the daily tasks we all have to go through. it just feels so pointless to me. really? this is my life?

its important to remember that our 3d life has purpose, so having a job or dealing with paying bills, all the stuff that seems silly to us now that we are awake, they still have import. its important to not lose sight of that.

every little thing we do is a chance to learn. going to a bubble gum machine and getting out a bubble gum may seem silly but you know what, its not. because you wanted that bubble gum, and you wanted to feel happy from it. (bubble gum could be that, or it could be a new gadget at best buy or those new shoes youve been eyeing). the point is, you went for it because it made you happy. not someone else, but you, and so you fed your spirit light by that little action. it is one step closer to our 4d existence coming up.


i've always felt my entire life i was supposed to be doing something bigger and more important. but can never seem to figure out what that thing is... but yet i feel so trapped now.

our purpose is often times hidden from us. audrey shenandoah says that sometimes we start performing a purpose without ever really knowing we are doing it. perhaps thats the way its meant to be, i think. but he also mentions that sometimes, our purpose [in regards to others] comes much later in life. and so basically everything we are doing now is preparing ourselves for this purpose. so if you are not performing your purpose yet, you are still in schooling.



we all need money to live and so we have to work. how does everyone cope? i find myself craving nature and the woods more and more and going from concrete building to concrete building just seems so wrong and futile.


i understand this, i feel it too, especially as how i honor the creator through pagan beliefs that revolve very much around nature. but i have to keep reminding myself theres nature all around as well. the dirt we walk on, the air we breathe, the grass that grows, you can reconnect with nature merely with communicating with the grass that grows around your house. its something.



i really try to carry joy and love with me...but you know its tiring. especially with the bombardment of negativity. it really is a test sometimes.

curious to know how others cope??

i cope by recognizing it is a test. all of it, and i can choose to grow from the experience or not. theres no such thing as failure either. our actions show our growth but also how we feel about those actions. for example what if you are on the road and someone cuts you off and you get mad, maybe even to the point you speed up and cut them off in return. so we made a mistake then by allowing our anger to do this, but then... do we learn from the mistake we made? or do we feel vindicated in our actions?

so thats how i cope i look at everything as a learning experience, and recognizing it is, helps me alleviate the stress.

[Bwen]

hullo noel111,

i believe focus is a very powerful action, if you focus on where you should be instead of the present then how could you feel comfortable in the now? when you think about nature and a peaceful life in retreat that feeling, that state of mind, reminds you of who you truly are. how important you really are. that maybe you should be doing something greater than what you are already doing. but that is just an illusion.

you want to leave everything behind and focus on what is truly important. like the spiritual masters before us, go in retreat alone and spend time to sort things out. but we are spiritual warriors at the front line and that my friend i believe beats any spiritual master any day. we are the beacons of light for society at its darkest years.

acknowledge the negativity around you but always focus on the positive. because in the end where ever you will go the positive cannot live without the negative. some chose negative and that is fine, when they get tired of it they will start to experience its better half ;)

forgive, bless and shine,
shine bright my friend.

[FooSnik]

hey noel! i feel you. ny is kind of like living in a pressure cooker. it can be challenging sometimes. trying to stay centered here is like trying to build a house of cards in a hurricane. but, in a way, this place forces you to learn how to be centered. in order to stay peaceful and healthy here you really have to stay focused and kind of turn yourself into a ninja. i had to learn a lot of discipline and self restraint and i cut out some bad habits out of sheer necessity. i vibe off the people here. i have met some of the funniest, most unique, crazy, intense people in ny and i have lived in seven different cities all over the country.

so i have a question for you noel. if you could have any career you wanted in the world, what would it be? something that really made you excited to go to work the next day. or what makes you really bubbly and giddy to think about doing?

i would like to be paid to be a musician and a hypno-therapist one day. i don't particularly like the job i have now but what keeps me positive is that i am working towards this goal. if i thought i had to do this job i have now for the rest of my life i would be really bummed out.

[Purple Dragon]

anyway, i feel myself sort of drifting away further and further from everyone. i find myself being annoyed and even genuinely disturbed by people's attitudes and ignorance.

remember we are all one, so the other-self you see is you experiencing life in a different form. although some people can be difficult to deal with, we still need to love their free will to do what they will. if we get upset over something the other-self does, it is us that needs to figure out why and remember that we always have the choice to feel fear or love.

we can only present the information to others to enlighten their ignorance, but if they choose to ignore the light, we need to respect their choice as well.

[lebowski san]

i can understand where purple dragon is coming from; craving nature and the false feeling of concrete buildings. how i coped with it was to move.

i used to live in north america where things unworthy of worship were worshipped beyond all else (money, celebrity, possessions). i got tired of the negativity and fear, fear, fear that was constantly bombarding my senses 24 hours a day 365 days a year, well maybe not on christmas day when you could watch "log" on tv...

so, i decided to hell with it all, gave away about 90% of my stuff, sold the car and moved to the other side of the globe. now, i live in a small town in japan. i teach at the elementary schools. the town is surrounded by mountains and wildlife (boars, monkeys, snakes, frogs, cats, deer and even midget deer known as kiyon) and the pacific ocean. seeing the sunrise over the ocean while walking to work is awesome, there is some truth! the food is better too. fresh fish, veggies, tea...

even though i can speak japanese and read it and all that, i'm so out of tune with propaganda that most japanese people eat up daily, it has no effect on me directly. kids will always imitate what they see on tv. "where's the beef?", anyone? hell, i don't even know what a twitter is...and i'm happy about that.:)

no matter what happens on 12/21/12 - cataclysm, typhoon, earthquake, tidal wave, electro magnetic disruption - whatever - i know that i made the right choice to live the rest of the time between now and then here. i'm way happier than before. i took charge, and it's great.

my two yen.

[lebowski san]

whoops! i should've written "i know where noel is coming from" - the original author of the thread in my post above. apologies abound! my mistake.

take care and peace.:p

[Love dont hurt]

this question crossed my mind a bit back in time when my economy broke down to the same that happens in the usa today ! all incomes go to my bills,
so i realized that its not a fight i can win.
iam a single 3 boys family dad and dispite the moneyproblem we grow tighter
and have more fun then ewer !!!
i listened to james gillilands approach to consiusmindnetwork interview and realize there is help from allover the uniwerse coming now to help us during
the transformation, some 2 million years old beeings he said was here ! and i now its tru that i newer disbelived him just got enormus humble for life,
not 1 kind, but all kind of life. speak right out in space and feel there love
when the calm u get projected from them reach ur innerself u now its nothing to worry about. welcome the chaos as a friend and remember that out of chaos comes order ! only deep love can change present bad times.
and remember love dont hurt. iam loving as much as possible, just ewerything, and allways from nowon, see u later when ur no gator. lol

[winterspring]

6 years ago, i was fortunate enough to have my "reality" be completely shaken up. i was left with maybe 2 thousand dollars to my name..and that was a gift. that was when i can truly say i "woke up", and started on a my journey.

i took off to a different city, and started picking up pieces to reinvent myself. when i realized that i had enough in that location, i picked up my things and moved again. i moved away from family and friends that kept on putting me back into the old "box" of who i was to them. i am blessed to have a few close friends that accept me no matter how many times i reinvent myself.

once i let go of the idea of me having to have a house, a car, and all the other things one must have, life became an adventure. i don't worry about a retirement plan anymore. i've realized that if something you work on for years to save up can be gone in an instant, then things can work the other way around too. i have put to the test the saying "create your own reality".. and it's been quite an adventure!! now, 3d life for most days, is a testing lab for me. i believe my purpose in life for now is to experience many things, and travel to many places and look at humanity from many angles. and this is what i focus on.

of course, i have to pay my bills too... but that's the awesome part. i love that scene in the old indiana jones movie where he makes that leap of faith, and stands on a bridge that he did not see before. when creating my own reality, it's worked for me only when i put my foot forward to that nothingness. things really do come to you !

noel, i've been where you are in my early stages since i "woke up" to truth of this reality. i believe once you find your own place "in" you, the answers will come to you quite quickly. =)

hang in there !

[DeepBlue]

i have noticed since economys collapse & living in the uk, the sensetivity am getting is that it has been planned all along, i say this as we all have done the 9-5 rotuine, & just wondered what the heck we are doing, earning money so we can pay bills but to let governements take it off us, but they dont do our job they dont suffer our stress, so many people are now awake to this & the thoughts & feelings are manifesting globally, by chance i dont think so, my point is many years ago while serving in the forces i would just try talk to any one to be friendly & just talk share experiences knowledge etc, some people thought i was a wierdo, one guy actually punched me, we have been living too distant from one another afraid to connect to our own humanity, this has been achieved by media, polatics etc.

so i have noticed that since signing on as we call it, it has brought us closer together, as were feeling the same problems & surprise surprise were all thinking the same things, having good conversations its like the average joe on the street is no longer a stranger any more, we are actually opening up & coming together, like a master plan of unity, so the negative yes i lost my house my car my job, but now i feel so free, ok i have a roof over my head which is private rented & its no mantion, but it does the job & the government pays for it, so they should i have been working since i was 16 years old, how much tax is that i paid for 14 years. then it dawned on me if i feel so free & suffer no stress & am a lot happier in life, why go back to the old way.

conclusion today was nice & sunny in leicester, so me & the mrs went for a walk to sort some things out, i saw so many people during a working week sunbathing in the park, out on bikes, just enjoying living these are the most people who have lost everything but gained life again, while others are stuck in a office dealing with stress worrys about bills etc etc.

the old ways are coming to an end i feel, we are facing a break down of the system & during this period dont be afraid let it happen, as like i find i have a life again, i am just so amazed that i am communicating with more peole now than i ever was, its all coming together at last, freedome to focus on what really matters in life & thats me you everyone, bringing the connection back together.:d

[Blacksunshine]

"even though i can speak japanese and read it and all that, i'm so out of tune with propaganda that most japanese people eat up daily, it has no effect on me directly. kids will always imitate what they see on tv. "where's the beef?", anyone? hell, i don't even know what a twitter is...and i'm happy about that.:)"



love that thank you i dont know what a twitter is either tho :o i have heard of it, and i get so confussed.

i want to get away from the center of society like i do live. i dont want to have to grocery shop everyweek anymore either...yay that summer is commin and i can at least grow my own fruit and veggie source.

staying in tune with my needs is a big one. i was just really really stressed out before this weekend. i am barely pregnant (three mos,) and i work a stressful job that requires me lift and be on my feet all day long. i thought that i was hitting a very unhealthy stage when i left to go camping on friday and thought i wouldn't be able to enjoy my camping trip at all, let alone hike. but when i entered my home (as i call it, i go there every year and every year its more and more my home) my stress and aching went away. i spent the first afternoon relaxing and becomming one with the home i'd been away from for so long.

then i thought of the stories of the ancients, walking the earth each and every day in search for food and shelter....even as they were carrying all the baby weight that they would get for the term they would walk the earth and collect their food and move with the weather and what not.

i understood then, that it's not being up on your feet, working hard, and doing what needs be done...it's that often our lives are so full of stesses that we forget (or at least dont always find the time) the small things that are so important to our vitality. i know the difference now, and i think i will try to make nature outtings a weekly event. it's only tuesday and im' back to feeling rushed, i'm back to feeling stressed, and im' back to feeling like taking care of myself is a thing that must be put on the back burner.

i dont feel that this is the way that we are supposed to live, but in many of our humanly cases this is the way it's become.....so you must find ways to balance. set limits with what you are willing to do, and how "stressed" you are willing to become, before you put yourself first, espeically if you live in and work in the middle of a metro society. you must understand the need and the why it's so important to say no. if you dont, then you will be run down, at least that is how i feel

i'm very glad that i dont have a job where if i"m not here people will die...but being a ups store owner most of my customers depend on my timeliness and rely on my being here in order to make their lives easier...but i have learned that if im' not here....then you will have really no choice but to move on and open up to someone elses help.

i think it's sad that we have to hunt so much and work so hard for moments that we are just supposed to have among us all the time....but finding balance has become a mainstay in my day to day.

i also have grown an understand to everyone else needing the breaks and the get aways. it is very hard to leave society, it is very hard to sell everything we own and go somewhere that will create the change that so mnay of us long for, i know this because i want to, but it's scary, and i'm pretty young, i haven't got to where i feel like i'm "at that time" but it's also all just excuses to not have to do something new and scary. so i have definately grown my understanding to short tempers at times, sometimes we really just cant hang on anymore.

anyway, i'm rambling, you all get the jist

[noel1111]

first of all congrats blacksunshine on your baby news! how wonderful!

thanks everyone, it really does help for me to read others experiences. i too am in a huge metro city and feel stuck here at the moment. my husband lost his job just before christmas and has not been able to find work since. so i have been the bread winner. i would love nothing more to move out to the country and built my mini-utopia in the woods but all of that is very unrealistic right now.
however, we have decided that every sat we'll get out of town and do something out in nature. this past sat we went for a nice picnic lunch and a hike up in the mountains. it had been so long since we have done that and it was wonderfully refreshing. we did not pass a single human being or animal while out on our hike. we were completely alone and it was just what i needed to recharge my batteries. as we were walking i told my husband that it really is amazing that we live in such a crowded world yet there are still places on earth for us each to find solitude. the weather is going to be perfect this sat. and i can't wait to get back to the woods. :o

is it a bad thing to want to have money to buy a place of your own? or is that considered sos?

[winterspring]

f

is it a bad thing to want to have money to buy a place of your own? or is that considered sos?


i personally think that financial freedom = freedom in 3d world. so it is not a bad thing. actually, it should be encouraged. having material abundance is not a bad thing. it is how you go about it to get it, and how you deal with it that matters.

once you have your freedom, you are free to fully pursue things that really matter to you. :)

[aqcheryl]

this question crossed my mind a bit back in time when my economy broke down to the same that happens in the usa today ! all incomes go to my bills,
so i realized that its not a fight i can win.
iam a single 3 boys family dad and dispite the moneyproblem we grow tighter
and have more fun then ewer !!!
i listened to james gillilands approach to consiusmindnetwork interview and realize there is help from allover the uniwerse coming now to help us during
the transformation, some 2 million years old beeings he said was here ! and i now its tru that i newer disbelived him just got enormus humble for life,
not 1 kind, but all kind of life. speak right out in space and feel there love
when the calm u get projected from them reach ur innerself u now its nothing to worry about. welcome the chaos as a friend and remember that out of chaos comes order ! only deep love can change present bad times.
and remember love dont hurt. iam loving as much as possible, just ewerything, and allways from nowon, see u later when ur no gator. lol

oh i so agree! so much!

they are here - our help is here already. its not just logic, you can feel it. we can connect at any time with them since we are all one, and when reading what you wrote i found myself doing just that, and im right now feeling love so strong that its affecting my body physically... its like a light that just expands from the middle of your body outwards, up towards your chest, and down your torso to extend to the tips of your limbs... and the feeling of love, being loved is so great and beautiful, you want to cry, because you have no way to contain it.

i do want to add though that most people cannot just pack up and move, they should know that change can be found anywhere, including where they live. sometimes its harder to see, when entrapped in a surrounding of negative ideologies, but just walk your own path and dont let it affect you. you can find yourself in any circumstance.


i have noticed since economys collapse & living in the uk, the sensetivity am getting is that it has been planned all along, i say this as we all have done the 9-5 rotuine, & just wondered what the heck we are doing

its because its our wake up call. david mentions that everytime a life form became stagnant in its growth, evolution kicked in to bring in a higher consciousness.


is it a bad thing to want to have money to buy a place of your own? or is that considered sos?

service to self is not always a bad thing. it depends on the reasons you want to. you want to have a place you can feel safe in, where you can feel happy, and be at peace. you want to find somewhere where you can be who you are and by doing so, grow. this is service to self but its so positive because when we heal ourselves we become closer to healing consciousness in whole.

i too want to live in a woodsy area.

[Rhonda]

attachment can be shown in many forms. this week, the form showed up in the form of my satellite service. my service went down for a unknown reasons. my attempt to call for repair lead to a long exercise of patience and tolerance of the people trying to help. i must say, my emotions were high and not necessarily positive. my thoughts were going wild and i didn't like what i was seeing of myself in this earth moment of a device that was created for entertainment. it became a negative attachment because it was not working when i wanted it to work. :(

i noticed my attachment to the satellite system (material)
i was attached to the outcome (my will)
i was attached to the service level (judgement)

after my 1st one hour of phone repair, i left the call with no satification and only angry at what i began to see in myself. the next day, when the service failed to repair itself i.e., wait 30 min and re-boot, i called the service again for action. this time, however, i detached myself from the outcome. i let go of the outcome, and thus, i saw myself more pleasant, more interactive and focus with the persons helping and was able to maintained a balanced connection with the parties involved. i did still have to exercise patience with this desire to get it fix :cool:

although the repair was not repairable by phone, the next day, a live tech person was able to resolve the problem. the " experience " showed me that a system or material attachment can take hold of me and turn my better judgement and intention into something that i am not.

:) what a lesson of becoming false in a short moment just because i wanted my late night jokes. :)

do others have similar experiences with these day to day items that have become part of us willing or unwilling ?

[Rory]

i also frequently get fed up and bogged down with the day-to-day grind, the chem-trails, the cell-phone headaches, feeling like i have to make money, being confronted with people who are sleepwalking through their aggressive lives, commercials, people who don't understand, and the painful memories of a time when i and others like me (we) were all together dancing and holding hands, basking in the glow of the full knowledge that we are all one, knowing it, feeling it, living it effortlessly. it's painful to remember that sometimes because of how different this life is.

so what i do is remember to breathe. there. i just did it again. i work at a raw-food vegan restaurant in san francisco, so i generally interact with gentle and interesting people who are thoughtful and caring towards others, but occasionally i am still confronted by the ignorance of modern society. (it still pops up in all of us sometimes) when that happens, i bring my attention to my breath, and try to remember that by staying in present moment awareness of peace and infinite bliss i then make that more available for this person freaking out in front of me, and in turn, all others who find themselves in the same situation. this helps immensely.

i try always to remember that it's not what i'm doing that matters so much, it's not what i'm doing that really makes a difference in the world, but how i do it. i like my job, and most of the people i interact with, and the city i live in (though yes i prefer a natural setting), and i work on letting that love shine through constantly.

and, i work at building community. gathering together those who want to live in love all of the time and helping each other to do that more effectively. i have a group that meets weekly at my house to practice shamanic journeying. we gather and journey to a drum beat, go into trance, and look for answers to life's pertinent questions. this feeds my soul, and helps others feel like they can get connected to creator in a direct way. i know it is my mission to help others in this way, to help others see that they have the power to awaken consciously, and i'm doing it.
:)
i think it's really important to find something you're passionate about, to do it, and to share it. we all need help, and you sharing your passion will help.

thank you!
i'm pretty new to sharing on discussion forums, so excuse my post if it rants or does not correctly address the topic.
peace. :)

[noel1111]

hey foosnik,

that is the question i've been asking myself my entire life. and for most of my life i thought i had it figured out. i was an actor and a comedian for about 15 years. i recently left that world because too many directors and producers only wanted to have me take my clothes off and i got very tired of dealing with those types of individuals. (downfall of being a woman in the industry)

i still love comedy but the industry is so backwards now. it used to be you could show up and wait to play a gig at any of the big comedy houses. but now just like everything its all about money and how much you promise to bring the club. i just couldn't do it anymore ... it made me very tired.

so i guess since breaking away from what i always said i was going to be has led me to a search to find my place again. i've been taking classes in different types of art like sculpting and improv etc. but nothing has stuck yet. for a while i've been resonating on food. but have been reluctant to finally say yes thats it! i am a good home cook and it brings me joy to create in the kitchen so ... i finally said screw it. monday i start classes at the french culinary institute and i hope this will be the beginning of another great creative journey.

i'll keep you posted. :)

thank you all so much for your kind words!!

[Jetamus]

music.
lots and lots of music is good to help the days pass more pleasantly.

[FooSnik]

hey foosnik,

that is the question i've been asking myself my entire life. and for most of my life i thought i had it figured out. i was an actor and a comedian for about 15 years. i recently left that world because too many directors and producers only wanted to have me take my clothes off and i got very tired of dealing with those types of individuals. (downfall of being a woman in the industry)

i still love comedy but the industry is so backwards now. it used to be you could show up and wait to play a gig at any of the big comedy houses. but now just like everything its all about money and how much you promise to bring the club. i just couldn't do it anymore ... it made me very tired.

so i guess since breaking away from what i always said i was going to be has led me to a search to find my place again. i've been taking classes in different types of art like sculpting and improv etc. but nothing has stuck yet. for a while i've been resonating on food. but have been reluctant to finally say yes thats it! i am a good home cook and it brings me joy to create in the kitchen so ... i finally said screw it. monday i start classes at the french culinary institute and i hope this will be the beginning of another great creative journey.

i'll keep you posted. :)

thank you all so much for your kind words!!

so sad. :( yes i fear you are right. new york has changed as if the whole city has sold out. i have noticed it too. i came hear for that raw, artistic, rebellious type of energy that defined the village. but all of that seems to have gone down, ironically, right along with the crime rate. cbgb's is gone. the village is full of bridal shops and stuff like that. my friend, who grew up in the lower east side, likes to joke around saying that ny is like disney land now. it's all colorful, with big flashing advertisements, and a million police officers everywhere. he says it just doesn't have the same character that it used too.

but maybe it is the whole country that is going this route. not just ny. i still think the people here are some of the funniest, insane, interesting, and sharp people i have met anywhere in the country. you are probably the same way being a comedian and all. and just about every culture in the world is represented here. i love that.

i know what you mean about yearning for nature. sometimes when i am watching a movie and i see one of those beautiful panoramic scenes of the countryside, i feel like a person who is trying to quit smoking who has to watch someone smoking a cigarette. like, "oooooo... i want that so bad." lol but for me, at the moment, it is a solid trade off to be around these nutty, loud people. i won't be here forever i don't think. and it sounds like you may be ready for a change.

i do hope you find your passion at the french culinary institute! i think to be doing and living your passion is the key. who knows maybe we will see you on the show "top chef" one day! :d

please do keep us posted!

[11wanderer11]

hey just wanted to say that i'm feeling overall a lot better now so i guess it really was just a temporary phase like i thought. probably shoulda just kept my mouth shut i suppose but oh well that's life. i recently found an awesome hiking spot nearby (like someone else mentioned earlier) and that's definitely a good balancing 'reset'. also, i really noticed that without forgiveness of others, the mind just spirals further and further down, like it becomes an attitude of negative expectations, furthering the cycle of frustration/stress.

[mmariebored]

hey just wanted to say that i'm feeling overall a lot better now so i guess it really was just a temporary phase like i thought. probably shoulda just kept my mouth shut i suppose but oh well that's life. i recently found an awesome hiking spot nearby (like someone else mentioned earlier) and that's definitely a good balancing 'reset'. also, i really noticed that without forgiveness of others, the mind just spirals further and further down, like it becomes an attitude of negative expectations, furthering the cycle of frustration/stress.
being accepting of the 'highs and lows' of life is part of forgiving yourself and everyone around you. certainly, if you detect a pattern of continual negativity towards you from someone, your best option would be to avoid that person. not feel anger or frustration about them, but avoid them, to benefit both of you. some people don't blend well together. you know who you sync with -the energies you feel when you're together are amazing- you know who you clash with. sometimes, it's better not to waste precious energies trying to force something that wasn't meant to be. so it may not be about forgiveness at all, there may never have been a need to forgive, it may just be time to part ways. i'm glad you're feeling better, btw.

[FooSnik]

one more thing i would like to add.

sometimes finding the passion can be the hard part. i spent some time of my life in a state of greyness that was not much fun. i didn't really have any dreams or any idea of what i wanted to do with my life. i wasn't one of those kids who was born with an idea of who i wanted to be when i grew up. there wasn't anything that really made me want to write home to mom about aside from dinner, music and girls. but even that started to wane eventually. i knew when i was losing my appetite for music that something was very wrong here.

so i asked for it. i asked for passion, dreams and intensity. i asked for a dream and an intense passion to cultivate it and create it in my life. and it came. i now feel an intense passion and appetite for many different things.

and this feeling makes me feel that life is beautiful and worth every little second.

hope that helps. it helped me.

:)

[insecteye]

hi everyone!

this is my second post on the forum. right now i'm in a difficult period. my wife had a postpartum with an episode of psychosis. she was admitted to a hospital last tuesday, by force, after being a week with her family and myself. we tried everything to make her better, but it wasn't working. she's now on an anti-psychotic and anti-depressant (zoloft). she's doing much better, but she's still in the hospital and will be released hopefully tomorrow, at least that's what the nurse told me.

now, what does that have to do with this website and david. answer: nothing. i think david's information has been wonderful in making me deal with the daily stress of real life and give me a purpose and direction. i just hope its all true and that's its not some bs that will be turn out to be nothing more than hype. for a while when i was in the right state of mind, i was afraid of nothing. i was totally at peace with myself, the people around me and the world. the only thing that made me worry was 2012 not happening as david is suggesting or something horrible/worse being the outcome. i'm following the information david is releasing, but right now i'm feeling pretty down.

my wife's episode was triggered partially to the 2012 information she saw on other videos and material she got from a friend of hers (nothing to do with divinecosmos) but like i said, it was one of the many thing that made her loose her mind, partially at least. postpartum, lack of sleep, she stopped eating properly, etc, and she ended up in the hospital and is now on meds. i'm taking care of my older dauther (2 year old) and my younger daughter is with her mother.

everything seems to be going "better" but at the same time as i go from hospital to my home, as i drive my car and see the world around me, i cannot stop and marvel at the beauty of nature whenever i see it, but when i look at the people i feel sad. everyone's in their little "bubble". its had to imagine that the world will be changeing so drastically in the next few years given how things are. its like 99% of the people are not even aware of what's gonna happen, nor do they feel it, or maybe i'm not noticing it.

i need some support from anyone that wants to help out to give me some spititual guidance. i'm still hoping and leaning to the possibility that the world will be a better place in a few years, but at the same time i'm thinking of closing that possibility and just get back in my "bubble". so if anyone feels like talking, send me a pm. i felt like making a new post, but i was a bit hesitant since i just joined the community.

[FooSnik]

hi everyone!

this is my second post on the forum. right now i'm in a difficult period. my wife had a postpartum with an episode of psychosis. she was admitted to a hospital last tuesday, by force, after being a week with her family and myself. we tried everything to make her better, but it wasn't working. she's now on an anti-psychotic and anti-depressant (zoloft). she's doing much better, but she's still in the hospital and will be released hopefully tomorrow, at least that's what the nurse told me.

now, what does that have to do with this website and david. answer: nothing. i think david's information has been wonderful in making me deal with the daily stress of real life and give me a purpose and direction. i just hope its all true and that's its not some bs that will be turn out to be nothing more than hype. for a while when i was in the right state of mind, i was afraid of nothing. i was totally at peace with myself, the people around me and the world. the only thing that made me worry was 2012 not happening as david is suggesting or something horrible/worse being the outcome. i'm following the information david is releasing, but right now i'm feeling pretty down.

my wife's episode was triggered partially to the 2012 information she saw on other videos and material she got from a friend of hers (nothing to do with divinecosmos) but like i said, it was one of the many thing that made her loose her mind, partially at least. postpartum, lack of sleep, she stopped eating properly, etc, and she ended up in the hospital and is now on meds. i'm taking care of my older dauther (2 year old) and my younger daughter is with her mother.

everything seems to be going "better" but at the same time as i go from hospital to my home, as i drive my car and see the world around me, i cannot stop and marvel at the beauty of nature whenever i see it, but when i look at the people i feel sad. everyone's in their little "bubble". its had to imagine that the world will be changeing so drastically in the next few years given how things are. its like 99% of the people are not even aware of what's gonna happen, nor do they feel it, or maybe i'm not noticing it.

i need some support from anyone that wants to help out to give me some spititual guidance. i'm still hoping and leaning to the possibility that the world will be a better place in a few years, but at the same time i'm thinking of closing that possibility and just get back in my "bubble". so if anyone feels like talking, send me a pm. i felt like making a new post, but i was a bit hesitant since i just joined the community.

oh man. hearing your story brings me back to my own. hang in there bro.

right up above your post is my own about finding your passion. i failed to express how my passion came about. it came from feeling like i am being squeezed into a shoe box 10 sizes to small. and the fruit that i bore from the experience is an intense passion for the peace, love and beauty that i took for granite before hand.

i know it is a big pill to swallow. but don't give up man. fight.

it is so hard to hear people say to look for the beauty in everything. but in hindsight, after my own horrible experiences, i see that this is the truth.

anyway, i am here for you man. i understand how hard it can be.

[darth_rothscum]

not sure if this belongs in another thread or not...

im curious as to how everyone is dealing with the day to day hem and haw of a 3d life? since i've become more aware i've been exceptionally tired at my job and the daily tasks we all have to go through. it just feels so pointless to me. really? this is my life?

i've always felt my entire life i was supposed to be doing something bigger and more important. but can never seem to figure out what that thing is... but yet i feel so trapped now. we all need money to live and so we have to work. how does everyone cope? i find myself craving nature and the woods more and more and going from concrete building to concrete building just seems so wrong and futile.

i really try to carry joy and love with me...but you know its tiring. especially with the bombardment of negativity. it really is a test sometimes.

curious to know how others cope??

hi noel,

i cope with music and comedy. i watch jon stewart and colbert on a fairly regular basis, and i stay in the loop by listening to max kaiser (as funny as he is knowledgeable) and ... of course ... rachel maddow (she's awesome--i love her)!!

my music tastes are more indie-alternative: franz ferdinand, bowie, weezer, and so on. those groups/people/programs put a :d on my face, and it's basically a life-saver. wanderers are here to raise the vibration of ... well ... everything, but who raises or picks up the wanderers (?) ... in my case it's the people i mentioned above plus david w., and the odd richard hogie interview on coast.

[noel1111]

hi everyone!

this is my second post on the forum. right now i'm in a difficult period. my wife had a postpartum with an episode of psychosis. she's now on an anti-psychotic and anti-depressant
now, what does that have to do with this website and david. answer: nothing. i think david's information has been wonderful in making me deal with the daily stress of real life and give me a purpose and direction. i just hope its all true and that's its not some bs that will be turn out to be nothing more than hype. for a while when i was in the right state of mind, i was afraid of nothing. i was totally at peace with myself, the people around me and the world. the only thing that made me worry was 2012 not happening as david is suggesting or something horrible/worse being the outcome. i'm following the information david is releasing, but right now i'm feeling pretty down.

everything seems to be going "better" but at the same time as i go from hospital to my home, as i drive my car and see the world around me, i cannot stop and marvel at the beauty of nature whenever i see it, but when i look at the people i feel sad.
i need some support from anyone that wants to help out to give me some spititual guidance. .

hi insecteye,

i can totally relate to what you are experiencing. my entire life my mother has been a paranoid schitzophrenic. there are times when she is fine and other times when she has her episodes it can be quit draining. for a long time i was angry that this is what i had to deal with. i felt it was totally unfair that i had such hardships to deal with while my friends all seemed to have these "leave it to beaver" families. i really had to do some soul searching as to why things were this way for me.

i have come to understand that my mother is a life lesson. she is my lesson in patience and compassion. i think david's teachings really do apply to our situations. we really are so connected to everyone else. and mental illness usually has such a stigma attached to it because the masses don't understand it. i have spent many years with people who are mentally ill. i find them fascinating, loving and intelligent people that need us to support and love them. it is so important for us to extend love, compassion and healing peace to our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands and friends who are hurting.

believe me it would be very easy for me to get into that cycle of "why me" and i have entertained it for far too long in the past. the only thing that does is bring me crashing down into this terrible depressive state. mental illness is a challenge. i won't lie to you about that. there are days when i am totally frustrated with her. in those moments i have to breathe and remember you cannot argue with illness no matter how hard you try. you can only be supportive and most of all try to keep your sense of humor. laughter is an incredible healer. i have stories that people just cannot believe but its all truth and honestly very very funny. i had a choice. i could cry and be depressed about my situation or laugh and find the lesson in all of it.

one thing that has helped me immensely is meditaion. it has allowed me to find peace within myself especially on those challenging days i have with my mothers illness. so i think that there is some invisable thread that has brought you here to the dc world. there are things we all can do to help us in our struggles. this place is full of people who only want us all to find harmony within ourselves. it is so normal to feel how you are feeling. its understandable. especially because this challenge is so new to you. the information on 2012 is abundant on the net and unfortunately there are tons of people who love to entertain all the negatives. it is not fruitful for any of us to dwell in that space. what ever will happen will happen. just remember that your feelings are natural and normal and are also in no means permanent.

you always have support here. :)

[Ali Quadir]

hey insecteye.

hang in there. postpartums are tough and put a dampener on something that should be a happy time. fortunately they're also transient. don't be sad for your wife, she needs a little downtime after all that happened. it was an impact on her system and likely in some way connected to previously existing karmic ties to trouble. the fact that it comes up is an opportunity to clean it out. in my opinion, spoil her.

don't fight with her, she's got a strong dose of "beauty's privilege" right now. and i know from personal experience that if someone is getting difficult. our fuses get smaller. so if you're like me, swallow it ;) and remember that your actions now have the very real ability to bind her to you forever in love. if you act from love. it's only not fair if you aren't given the opportunity for something very special in return.

you want spiritual guidance. yet you already see beauty. the only thing i can suggest is why restrict the beauty to the nature you see? the people around you will be all right. we are only an expression of nature. and even when things don't seem fair, they are what they are. and preferable over should be's and make belief. fairy tales and should be's are written by human writers. human lives are written by multidimensional entities of vast power and intelligence. (that's the all of us!)

and congratulations young father. i envy you. my wife is resistant to pregnancy, in the way that she runs away or throws stuff at me if i bring it up. you're up against a bunch of unfair diaper change turns. since your beloved gets the beauties privilege. :) you're it... for what it's worth, we're here cheering you on. (behind smell proof monitors.)

but really if you feel you need to lighten your load i'm sure we're here for you. do let us know how it works out.

[aqcheryl]

my wife had a postpartum with an episode of psychosis.

i understand the difficulty - my best friend deals with depression that she has to be on anti-depressants, and her husband is as well. its not easy for them, and its not easy for those of us who care for them, is it? when we dont know whats going on, we dont know how to combat it - and so ive found that the more you know, the more empowered you are to do something. but even then, its to an extent - because by us gaining knowledge only further serves to help those we love - but they are the ones that ultimately have to gain the knowledge in order to become better. when we dont know we can do something about it, thats when hopelessness and despair sets in.

we live in a society where so many things we struggle with are not natural at all, things that had never been known to mankind until this past few decades. ive read that things like add, cancer, diabetes, and depression, are all man-made... and being that these things had not existed prior to suddenly having drugs and processed food, that would folloow. if our body is starving for the proper nutrients - parts of it will begin to 'malfunction', like chemical imbalance that can cause depression. jim carreys son had add, and they practically cured it by merely changing his diet to organic foods instead of processed. because your wifes diet had gotten worse it attributed to what happened. change her diet? sometimes its hard when you work all the time, and if shes not feeling well, our diets get impacted, we go for the fast and easy. but there are others to help. perhaps you know a friend who cooks all the time? maybe pay them to pre-prepare food on a weekly basis?


the only thing that made me worry was 2012 not happening as david is suggesting or something horrible/worse being the outcome.

heres the thing we need to remember, and sometimes even when we understand it, we forget and have to remind ourselves. we are not powerless in 3d. we have help, we have strength, and knowledge again is power. when we know what to do we can do it. 2012 is not a set date or timeframe. even david has pointed out on occasion that signs strongly point to it being 2012, but its not set in stone - and that even when it does happen, its going to be gradual for most. for some its happening already, and for some it may not fully happen for them until 2050. we dont know - but no one will be left behind, and we are not forsaken.

also, we have to live for the now - 3d is a wonderful gift given to us, remember we descended from higher consciousness to come here so that we could then work our way up. in our process of gaining a higher consciousness and our bodies evolving, we will lose as well. were going to have to make sacrifices and we have to be willing to make them. as wonderful as 4d will be we shouldnt forget how wonderful it is to be here in 3d. for example only, here in 3d we can smell a rose, and perhaps this is due to our bodies makeup. what if when our bodies evolve we lose our sense of smell and all we have left is memories? cherish what we have now because we dont know what we will have to sacrifice later. you are on the right track to looking at everything around you and seeing the beauty. dont give up, and dont rely on our evolution to save us, because we ultimately are the ones who save ourselves. we are one.



my wife's episode was triggered partially to the 2012 information she saw on other videos and material she got from a friend of hers.



http://divinecosmos.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=306&itemid=70
now, as i explain in the science of peace, we have the proof of how intensely our own thoughtforms affect the planet. we get stuck in this insane loop of fear, and become addicted to the morphine response that kicks in when we move through a big surge of panic. this is actually leading to the creation of those very same thoughtforms that insure that we will continue to have earth changes, war, terrorism and economic problems.


i just read that blog the other day - talk about synchronicity as it applies here. im sure you have tried to show your wife dw's materials - perhaps due to the morphine response she was not open to hearing it? shell come to the information in time, but just let it be there and available. for example, print out an article from davids to read and just happen to leave it on the counter... who knows maybe shed pick it up when no ones looking. as you say the negative brought this upon her, only the positive can bring her out of it.


everything seems to be going "better" but...

we cant assume they arent going through it. the transition will be private in 3d, for the most part, its going on inside their head. we cant compare anothers journey to our own because each path is as unique as a fingerprint - no two will ever be alike in their journey. since we have no basis to compare them to anything, how can we assume where they are at in their lives? many many people do so in silence because they have no one to turn to.


i'm still hoping and leaning to the possibility that the world will be a better place in a few years, but at the same time i'm thinking of closing that possibility and just get back in my "bubble".

the bubble is not a bad place to be. its not an issue of black or white here. we must have balance in all things. enjoy your bubble at the same time as being enlightened. heck, i do. for example i love my nintendo ds i got for christmas - and i love playing the games, and focus on getting as many as i can. thats highly materialistic is it not? but it provides me enjoyment, it makes me happy, and happiness is something to strive for. it makes me happy because i want it, not because everyone else has it. find balance, without it, theres no chance of success on either level. we create our own realities. there is a movie being made that talks about how we are growing in our consciousness, most of us dont see it but they put it together so we could see its out there. its called the shift, the trailer is on youtube...when we feel alone or very limited in our numbers, we lose hope. however just by seeing this trailer, and seeing that we are not alone, or the minority - its really really really a beautiful feeling, it brings hope back.

much love, you will pull through, and she will to.
"the trials set before us, and its hard to understand, the mechanics of this world we tread, the potential in our hands. perspectives change across the board as the last among us knows. for commitment to a greater good strength grows, from splintered faith."

[insecteye]

thanks for the support guys, i really appreciate your kind words. things are getting better, it was one of those days i guess. i'm rarely down or feeling depressed, by nature i'm a happy person and it takes a lot to make me close up or be angry, but that day it just felt ****ty. my wife sounds like her old self on the phone, and i just hope she'll be released before the hospitals start filling up with people that have that new strain of swine flu :eek: ok, lets think positive here!! :)

aqcheryl, we're eating better than before. no junk food, almost no processed food (we do open cans of tomatoes or beans sometimes), we've pretty much removed meat from our diet completely, but we do eat it if its on the menu at people's houses tho we don't cook it and eat it anymore. no, we're not vegetarians, we just don't wanna eat meat as a dialy staple.

meditating is something we want to do but its hard. we got a two year old and a four month old so we're busy pretty much all the time, but definitely i'm going to look into it, my work offers all kinds of programs and i think ill take a look at it when i go back (on parental leave right now).

again, much thanks for the kind words ali quadir, noel and aqcheryl. foosnik, i sent you a pm with some question :rolleyes:

[aqcheryl]

when i was first responding it was long, so i was trying to shorten it, and i think when i went back i accidentally removed the part about the food - i had said 'if youre not already', but i dont see it in my original post so it must have gotten lost in edit.

its not easy to apply it, when you know it. we here are trying to implement the best we can as well. right now our scenario we can only do tv dinners most of the time, but ive been focusing on making them in the toaster oven instead of microwave. not only is there a difference in the quality, but i do feel a little more energy gained from the food as opposed to microwave. also have been trying to get as many days where we have home cooked, but its not easy when peeps are tired from the whole work week in general lol

i dont have children, but even if i did, everyones child(ren) have different schedules than anothers, but if they are asleep when you go to bed, even if its just going to bed 15 minutes earlier if you can, try the meditating then. in its simplicity all you are doing is shutting down your mind. it does get hard to not fall asleep lol but i found the more you try it the more and more time you get before falling asleep... and also if you do fall asleep, the meditation will continue even as you are asleep. thats happened a few times here :)

[aqcheryl]

from davids blog im reading...
http://divinecosmos.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=313&itemid=70


making the grade to 'fourth density' in 2011-2013

furthermore, these lives become more and more interesting as you travel into the future and advance through the basic grades. right now, earth is moving into the next grade.

[this grade, or level, is called "fourth-density" in the law of one series, a phrase that was coined years before other channelers borrowed the same lingo without crediting the original source.]

whether you 'get it' or not, this event is coming… and an ever-increasing body of evidence supports statements in the law of one series that 2011-2013 is the turning point for when this literal reality shift will take place. it is said to be a worldwide hyperdimensional event most people could never even begin to imagine, since it is so far outside the 'box' of what they already know is 'real'.

all you have to do, in order to qualify for life on earth in 4d, is love people. consistently. that's it.

if you want to get technical, and split hairs, then you need to be just slightly above 50 percent more interested in serving and helping others (love) than in manipulating and deceiving them for your own gain (control).

fourth-density love, fifth-density wisdom


even after you make it to 4d, (and everybody eventually does,) you're still not fully enlightened… just farther along on the path. 4d is typically a realm of unconditional love, but that love is not 'informed' by wisdom. many people on earth fall into this trap, believing themselves to be very loving towards everyone… but never realizing that they have stopped loving themselves in the process.



he goes more into detail in the densities :) but i had to share this when i saw this.

[FooSnik]

hi insecteye,

i can totally relate to what you are experiencing. my entire life my mother has been a paranoid schitzophrenic. there are times when she is fine and other times when she has her episodes it can be quit draining. for a long time i was angry that this is what i had to deal with. i felt it was totally unfair that i had such hardships to deal with while my friends all seemed to have these "leave it to beaver" families. i really had to do some soul searching as to why things were this way for me.

i have come to understand that my mother is a life lesson. she is my lesson in patience and compassion. i think david's teachings really do apply to our situations. we really are so connected to everyone else. and mental illness usually has such a stigma attached to it because the masses don't understand it. i have spent many years with people who are mentally ill. i find them fascinating, loving and intelligent people that need us to support and love them. it is so important for us to extend love, compassion and healing peace to our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, wives, husbands and friends who are hurting.

believe me it would be very easy for me to get into that cycle of "why me" and i have entertained it for far too long in the past. the only thing that does is bring me crashing down into this terrible depressive state. mental illness is a challenge. i won't lie to you about that. there are days when i am totally frustrated with her. in those moments i have to breathe and remember you cannot argue with illness no matter how hard you try. you can only be supportive and most of all try to keep your sense of humor. laughter is an incredible healer. i have stories that people just cannot believe but its all truth and honestly very very funny. i had a choice. i could cry and be depressed about my situation or laugh and find the lesson in all of it.

one thing that has helped me immensely is meditaion. it has allowed me to find peace within myself especially on those challenging days i have with my mothers illness. so i think that there is some invisable thread that has brought you here to the dc world. there are things we all can do to help us in our struggles. this place is full of people who only want us all to find harmony within ourselves. it is so normal to feel how you are feeling. its understandable. especially because this challenge is so new to you. the information on 2012 is abundant on the net and unfortunately there are tons of people who love to entertain all the negatives. it is not fruitful for any of us to dwell in that space. what ever will happen will happen. just remember that your feelings are natural and normal and are also in no means permanent.

you always have support here. :)

me too! me too!

i spent so long being so pissed! i was so mad that i was such a screw up and it was all my dad's fault! if you weren't such a damn nightmare, dad, i wouldn't be such a freak! i could function in society like a normal person if it weren't for you dad!

but then i started to realize that i didn't want to be normal. and once i gained some control over myself i even began to appreciate the fact that i had such an upside down life for so long.

i mean i probably wouldn't even be here right now talking with you beautiful people if i had a "leave it to beaver" life. i would just be another average "sheeple".

but i am not! i am one loony dude but i am definitely unique and original.

and i owe it all to you, dad.

peace!
foo :)

[noel1111]

yes, it is quite a struggle for me on some days. a test in patience to be sure. i get most annoyed though because she doesn't really try at all and in turn that sparks my anger and frustration. i have really tried to get a handle on it, but some days its so overwhelming. i don't know about your dad but my i have been having the exact same conversation with my mother for basically 20 years. i can't do it anymore. its exhausting me.

glad to know someone else has some of the same experiences. growing up i was the only one i knew that had this problem. i think that added to the feeling of "not belonging anywhere". i definitly feel and from a young age that my "family" is not really my family. there is definitly a lot of hurt going on between the members and i just don't get it. it really makes me sad to see them treating each other this way. the family has been breaking down for years, from a large cohesive unit to small fractured groups. its sad most of them profess to be very heavy church goers yet the actions they put forth are the exact opposite of what they say the lessons of the church are. it's almost laughable. you think if they spent that much time reading and listening to the teachings of jesus... that maybe ... just maybe...it would've sunk in a little bit more.

[FooSnik]

yes, it is quite a struggle for me on some days. a test in patience to be sure. i get most annoyed though because she doesn't really try at all and in turn that sparks my anger and frustration. i have really tried to get a handle on it, but some days its so overwhelming. i don't know about your dad but my i have been having the exact same conversation with my mother for basically 20 years. i can't do it anymore. its exhausting me.

glad to know someone else has some of the same experiences. growing up i was the only one i knew that had this problem. i think that added to the feeling of "not belonging anywhere". i definitely feel and from a young age that my "family" is not really my family. there is definitely a lot of hurt going on between the members and i just don't get it. it really makes me sad to see them treating each other this way. the family has been breaking down for years, from a large cohesive unit to small fractured groups. its sad most of them profess to be very heavy church goers yet the actions they put forth are the exact opposite of what they say the lessons of the church are. it's almost laughable. you think if they spent that much time reading and listening to the teachings of jesus... that maybe ... just maybe...it would've sunk in a little bit more.

hey noel! one weird coinkydink to share. a young kid just started at my work and his name is noel too. i have never met a noel before and now i know two in a matter of a week or so. he is a remarkable kid in that he is so centered and positive for his age. whatever his parents did with this kid they were right on the money. in ny there is so much temptation everywhere that it takes quite a strong person to be able to stay square and not give in to all the craziness going on all around you. but this kid is like the eye of the hurricane.

i have a lot of experience with mental illness as well. our family doesn't really have cancer or anything like that but we seem to have a lot of crazy folk. my father's mother (my grandmother) was extremely intelligent and could have made some big contributions to the scientific community. she did make some significant contributions but i can't remember what they were now. but back then women were not really allowed to do these things. that was a man's responsibility. so all this intense mental energy she had, with no outlet, drove her batty. my grandfather couldn't deal with his wife, and he traveled a lot for his job so he was away from his own home nearly entirely. my dad got really screwed up from growing up in that house and was eventually diagnosed a sociopath.

my grandmother on my mom's side was severely abused growing up and it turned her nearly to ice. she did not share or show love to my mom at all. my grandmother was such a hurt little girl and she put up this extremely tough outer shell out of fear of letting the flood of emotions pour out. my grandmother proved herself to be the same kind of lesson for my mother as your mother was to you. a lesson of patience and compassion even in the face of someone who says mean things and hurts you. i can't say enough wonderful things about my mom because now, in the golden years of her life, she has fully conquered the circumstances she was born into. but it was not easy. oh no it was not. but i am so proud to be her son. she is amazing. my grandmother never was able to open up and she died with a closed heart. but my mom has found peace. she is ok now.

both my grandfathers were very elusive men. they were both very successful in their careers. people threw my one grandfather a huge retirement party in which thousands of people attended. but he was such an introvert and he shared nothing with his two sons and the same goes for my other grandfather. and my father did the same to the four of us. he was never violent but he just never could figure out how to take care of himself. and it seemed everywhere he went he sucked the life out of people.
and i, like you, have watched my family fall apart. there is a ten year gap between me and my three siblings and they just can't seem to get along. i just don't see why it is so hard to accept people's differences. yeah so they don't live like you do but who cares? just enjoy your life and let them enjoy theirs'.

i lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for a year as well. i had nowhere to go and i had to live there for about a year. that was a very hard period of my life. i would come home sometimes and he would be in the closet with all the lights off in the house and all the blinds pulled shut. he was constantly accusing me of bugging the phones and trying to plant drugs in the house to get him sent to jail. he would kick me out of the house and lock me out in the middle of the night sometimes. but you just can't argue with someone who has this kind of look in their eyes:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b143/zamar_stitch/383-swirly.jpg

i seem to have inherited this same intense mental energy that runs in my family and it can be hard to handle sometimes. anxiety attacks. i have experienced some psychosis from lack of sleep. i have heard stuff and seen stuff. crazy stuff. but now i am getting control over this and hopefully i can use this to create some creative strokes of genius one day. i have realized i need an outlet for this and i am working on getting myself one now.

meditation does help and every time i do it i feel so much better. but it is so hard for me to do it and i still don't do it often enough. but i am doing it with increasing frequency.

anyway i just wanted to share that with you. i am getting much better and i have so much compassion and empathy for other people suffering with these kind of mental/emotional dis-eases. i hope and wish the best for you. i am sending loving energy your way!

[mmariebored]

i lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for a year as well. i had nowhere to go and i had to live there for about a year. that was a very hard period of my life. i would come home sometimes and he would be in the closet with all the lights off in the house and all the blinds pulled shut. he was constantly accusing me of bugging the phones and trying to plant drugs in the house to get him sent to jail. he would kick me out of the house and lock me out in the middle of the night sometimes. but you just can't argue with someone who has this kind of look in their eyes:

"when you look into the eyes of another, any other, and you see your own soul looking back at you, then you will know that you have reached another level of consciousness." -brian weiss

i borrowed that from your siggy.
i wonder if you put yourself in his shoes to fully try to understand what he was going through, or did you separate yourself from him when you analyzed him. i know it's hard to do, particularly when the person has hurt you over and over again and is clearly the one digging the moat between you two. i can relate to this particular situation, which is why i'm asking if you've tried this. also, did you give any reasons for the fears he had? i suppose it wouldn't matter if you had, when someone is mentally tormented, the smallest details can be grown into mountains. he sounds like he needed love more than anything.

some people just need time and space, to figure their way out of the torment. it's important to recognize, though, when they're seeking loving support, and to be there for them, without judgement.


i seem to have inherited this same intense mental energy that runs in my family and it can be hard to handle sometimes. anxiety attacks. i have experienced some psychosis from lack of sleep. i have heard stuff and seen stuff. crazy stuff. but now i am getting control over this...

...i am getting much better and i have so much compassion and empathy for other people suffering with these kind of mental/emotional diseases.
i sometimes wonder if it's more a learned behavior, as opposed to inherited. then there's the spiritual aspect of it, i wonder if there's a negative density that accumulates in an area and attaches to anyone who shows the slightest sign of weakness. branching out like an octopus and interweaving through everyone, learning everyone, effecting everyone in that area. how does one defeat a thing like that? i believe it's just like you said, compassion and empathy, above all, love.

[FooSnik]

"when you look into the eyes of another, any other, and you see your own soul looking back at you, then you will know that you have reached another level of consciousness." -brian weiss

i borrowed that from your siggy.
i wonder if you put yourself in his shoes to fully try to understand what he was going through, or did you separate yourself from him when you analyzed him. i know it's hard to do, particularly when the person has hurt you over and over again and is clearly the one digging the moat between you two. i can relate to this particular situation, which is why i'm asking if you've tried this. also, did you give any reasons for the fears he had? i suppose it wouldn't matter if you had, when someone is mentally tormented, the smallest details can be grown into mountains. he sounds like he needed love more than anything.

some people just need time and space, to figure their way out of the torment. it's important to recognize, though, when they're seeking loving support, and to be there for them, without judgement.

well i was almost as crazy as he was during that time so it wasn't much of a stretch to put myself in his shoes. i did kind of understand him. i found out he was sexually abused as a kid and other stuff. but i know a lot of people who were sexually abused and they never got to be that insane. he also had been involved in drugs but i know that even before the drugs he was off his rocker.

i did love him but i think you have to experience someone like that to understand. that guy would think you were loving him just so that he will start to trust you so you can stab him in the back. he was trapped in the insane prison of his mind. ever had a really bad nightmare and your mom tries to wake you up but you can't seem to snap out of it? and she is shaking you and your eyes are open looking at your mom but you still are in the nightmare and crying. i used to have those a lot. and i think this is what it was like for him.


i sometimes wonder if it's more a learned behavior, as opposed to inherited. then there's the spiritual aspect of it, i wonder if there's a negative density that accumulates in an area and attaches to anyone who shows the slightest sign of weakness. branching out like an octopus and interweaving through everyone, learning everyone, effecting everyone in that area. how does one defeat a thing like that? i believe it's just like you said, compassion and empathy, above all, love.

well maybe you are right and it is learned. but i also think people are just born a certain way. like people who can see and hear spirits. that probably drove them crazy in the beginning until they learned what it was and how to control it. i think people can be born with an over active mind and imagination as well.

also i think babies soak up the energy pattern of the home unit when they are growing up and even in the mother's womb. in my case i was born during my mom's darkest part of her life. and right after i moved out was when she started to understand everything and start to heal. so i took that darkness with me through my life till about 3 years ago. i was born into such depression that i literally did not know what it felt like to be happy. i knew what i thought it meant to be happy. but i realized that this was way off.

i have heard one lady say that when she had a near death experience that she visited many different realms. some of them being the lower darker realms. and when she came back from those realms she needed to be cleansed by her spirit guides. because that dark energy can stay with you.

i agree with you that love and compassion conquers all. but some of the tests people have to go through to have compassion and forgive can be extremely hard and sometimes futile. some people you can love them to death and they will never heal or get better. they will die with you never seeing them be healed.

ultimately it is their choice, not ours. all we can do is love them and keep our arms open in case they want to accept it. just like the angels are doing right now as they stand beside us. but they are not allowed to do anything unless we ask.

thanks for talking with me about it mmariebored.

love to you.

[noel1111]

:)

foosnick, that made my morning. thank you kindly. thats great you met another noel. i am of the mind that teachers come to us in all ages. i am sure there is a lot to learn from him.

you and i have so many similarities. thank you for sharing your story with me. my father is a very distant and cold person too and never learned how to show emotion to his children. his idea of being a good father was all based on money. he doesn't understand that stuff was never important to me. i don't think some parents understand how much it means to a child just to hear the words "i love you". i think so many wounds would be healed and so many negative actions forgiven if people would just say those 3 little words to each other as often as possible. thats what i try to do consistently with those close to me. my family, my friends etc. one of my cousins once said to me "there you go again making people feel good about themselves". well if that is the worst thing they can say about me then i think i'm doing pretty well. :)

but the storm is brewing...

for the past few days my mother has been on the fast track to a break down and dealing with these crazy emotional spikes has been really tiring for me. i seem to be the magnet that has to balance the energies in my family and sometimes my mind becomes exhausted by it. today i am off to a secluded cabin in the woods upstate to recharge my mental batteries and take some well deserved "me" time befor i jump head first back into the fire.

the next week is going to be a great challenge for me. my mother, against everyones best advice has decided she is coming to ny to visit. she is not doing well at all mentally or physically. she has been starving herself for years now is is down to 85 lbs. plus she is on tons of anti- psychotic medications which coupled with the lack of food makes her go into dilliriums and forget simple things and kicks her disease into high gear. she is convinced the entire world is in a conspiracy against her and i have spent hours having the smae conversations with her over and over again. i worry for her well being and really wish she would stay home and take care of herself. but she even refuses to see a doctor for fear they will admit her again. so i have been praying for peace, love, healing and most of all patience. it is a heavy load to bear at this time. but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger right?? :)

thank you for all the healing love and support, its so funny to me that i can recieve such a wonderful gift from a community of people i've never met face to face and yet its so difficult for my own family to extend that same gift to people much closer to them. my mind is always baffled.

i so wish everyone could find such a wonderful place as this. i am thankful for each and everyone of you...

[dreamweaver]

yes to all of these thoughts! yes, my family has been "touched" too and there is so much learning to do here....and we are all so helping each other by getting this out into the open to discuss it. many more will come, as this is a very trying time to try to make sense of... and not be consumed in fear. so, for my two cents, this is how i would sum up some key things anyone can do to help maintain sanity:

trust in the power of love. god loves us and this world. nothing is more powerful than love. love is what you pour on someone when they are in such dire need. pour it on. pure unconditional love. love yourself too. that person in mental distress can feel and sense powerfully, send powerful amounts of love.

sleep is essential. if that person, or you, goes through more than 2 nights in a row of bad, broken or no sleep, take a strong sedative to break the pattern. it is a must. sleep is where & when all the body's systems re-set. if they can't re-set, your body and mind will not work properly.

food: for highly sensitive people (& insecteye's wife being post-partum), eating strictly vegetarian is dangerous imo. there are studies that prove that most people suffering from psychosis have (undetected possibly) hypoglycemia or low blood sugar (alot of times nocturnally, so undetected by normal office/hospital's testing times) and protein is a must every two hours. i repeat...protein is a must every two hours. remember that and it doesn't have to be alot. i suggest having some almond milk on hand at all times for those wee hours of the night, and especially just before going to bed. and stay away from unrefined white sugar and flour products.....there are other ways to satisfy a sweet tooth; sugar can be poison.

respect. respect that person's intelligence. for even though things within their mind might be short-circuiting, they need to feel that you still think of them as intelligent human beings and they are. think about how humiliating it must be for them. give them their dignity whenever and wherever you can and it will be medicine they feel so soothed by.

they must learn to quiet their mind, and they can. turn down the stimulations as much as possible. if you can see it coming, make it nap time for them. turn down the light, turn out the noise (ear plugs work great). or get them into a bath with sea salts in it and let them soak. light little scented candles. amazing results.

there you go. hope this helps.
love and more love,
/dreamweaver

[mmariebored]

well maybe you are right and it is learned. but i also think people are just born a certain way. like people who can see and hear spirits. that probably drove them crazy in the beginning until they learned what it was and how to control it. i think people can be born with an over active mind and imagination as well.

well, my 4yr old claims to see ghosts and also scary characters in our house, and certain people who lived here before us claim this house has always been haunted. i even sought outside help and the woman told me that it was an entity who has been living here for decades, possibly centuries, harassing anyone who lived here.

this is why i say that it sometimes may not be the person at all, sometimes it's the area they live in and what dwells there with them. you called it "energy patterns", and you believe in other realms. i believe some areas are natural doorways to those realms, though i have no proof of this.
i don't believe my child is "crazy", he has a few quirks, but he's fine.
who can explain what there is no actual proof of? when you try to seek help, you put yourself and your family in danger. most people won't chance being labeled as "the crazy people", and i certainly would never condemn my child with that title, just because he saw some strange things.


i have heard one lady say that when she had a near death experience that she visited many different realms. some of them being the lower darker realms. and when she came back from those realms she needed to be cleansed by her spirit guides. because that dark energy can stay with you.

you said he was into drugs(the "paranoid schizophrenic" you had lived with)? that explains a lot.

i believe alcohol, too, can open doors that are better left shut. this is why i don't drink. i've seen too many people change into someone i didn't recognize, only knew it was someone entrenched in negativity. many people i've spoken to about this have experienced the same thing. some people even lose their memory when they drink, i find this is the point when there is a solid separation between who they normally are, and the darker person they become. you never know who is stepping through the door.



also i think babies soak up the energy pattern of the home unit when they are growing up and even in the mother's womb. in my case i was born during my mom's darkest part of her life. and right after i moved out was when she started to understand everything and start to heal. so i took that darkness with me through my life till about 3 years ago. i was born into such depression that i literally did not know what it felt like to be happy. i knew what i thought it meant to be happy. but i realized that this was way off.

that's extremely sad.
i believe children heal much more quickly than adults. particularly than adults living in an environment which is more damaging than healing. it takes looking around, looking at your peers, looking at your family in other parts of the world, to see that maybe you are in a "bad place" that you need to leave. since we can't control the others in our lives, it's incorrect to say that we can change our environment, sometimes it's just too much to juggle for one person trying to be positive especially if you have dependants or no good support system, etc etc.

i'm so glad to hear your mom went through the healing. i see you're fully understanding of her struggles and i'm willing to bet that aided her in her healing, perhaps more than you know.


i agree with you that love and compassion conquers all. but some of the tests people have to go through to have compassion and forgive can be extremely hard and sometimes futile. some people you can love them to death and they will never heal or get better. they will die with you never seeing them be healed.

part of the reason some people never heal is because they're taught to stay where they are. they're taught that staying where they are is "loyalty" or keeping vows etc. anyone who betrays those vows and commitments is forever stigmatized, even if it's their own pride pointing the finger of accusation. i have seen this as well, the saddest part being when people are misguided into staying in their prisons of misery.


ultimately it is their choice, not ours. all we can do is love them and keep our arms open in case they want to accept it. just like the angels are doing right now as they stand beside us. but they are not allowed to do anything unless we ask.

thanks for talking with me about it mmariebored.

love to you.
thank you as well, love to you too.

[Young Myrrh Atop the Hill]

as a child, i often looked down at myself and at the walls of my house and felt strange. it never seemed quite real. but there is a quote that has helped:

"this is the material plane. and everything we do on it is inner work. this is the material plane. and it could use a good sanding."

taken from rumi's [please pm for book title] as interpretted by coleman barks. origin of the quote is uncertain.

[FooSnik]

:)

foosnick, that made my morning. thank you kindly. thats great you met another noel. i am of the mind that teachers come to us in all ages. i am sure there is a lot to learn from him.

yeah that kid is very intriguing to me and he seems to find me just as interesting. lol


you and i have so many similarities. thank you for sharing your story with me. my father is a very distant and cold person too and never learned how to show emotion to his children. his idea of being a good father was all based on money. he doesn't understand that stuff was never important to me. i don't think some parents understand how much it means to a child just to hear the words "i love you". i think so many wounds would be healed and so many negative actions forgiven if people would just say those 3 little words to each other as often as possible. thats what i try to do consistently with those close to me. my family, my friends etc. one of my cousins once said to me "there you go again making people feel good about themselves". well if that is the worst thing they can say about me then i think i'm doing pretty well. :)

well noel means christmas. you probably make people feel like christmas morning! :)

one way i try to not be like my dad is to open up a genuine and honest line of communication with other people.


but the storm is brewing...

for the past few days my mother has been on the fast track to a break down and dealing with these crazy emotional spikes has been really tiring for me. i seem to be the magnet that has to balance the energies in my family and sometimes my mind becomes exhausted by it. today i am off to a secluded cabin in the woods upstate to recharge my mental batteries and take some well deserved "me" time befor i jump head first back into the fire.

the next week is going to be a great challenge for me. my mother, against everyones best advice has decided she is coming to ny to visit. she is not doing well at all mentally or physically. she has been starving herself for years now is is down to 85 lbs. plus she is on tons of anti- psychotic medications which coupled with the lack of food makes her go into dilliriums and forget simple things and kicks her disease into high gear. she is convinced the entire world is in a conspiracy against her and i have spent hours having the smae conversations with her over and over again. i worry for her well being and really wish she would stay home and take care of herself. but she even refuses to see a doctor for fear they will admit her again. so i have been praying for peace, love, healing and most of all patience. it is a heavy load to bear at this time. but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger right?? :)

thank you for all the healing love and support, its so funny to me that i can recieve such a wonderful gift from a community of people i've never met face to face and yet its so difficult for my own family to extend that same gift to people much closer to them. my mind is always baffled.

i so wish everyone could find such a wonderful place as this. i am thankful for each and everyone of you...

hey would it be possible to make your mom an appointment to have some hypnotherapy? those drugs she is on just treat the symptoms and probably just make it worse, like you said. a good hypnotherapist could get to the root cause of the problem and release her from this nightmare. i have read about people with intense phobias, in which traditional therapy could not fix, being cured through hypnosis. or is your mom so paranoid that she would not trust the doctor to try this?

good luck noel. you are a gift to your mom. that is probably why you are named after christmas. love, strength and patience to you!


well, my 4yr old claims to see ghosts and also scary characters in our house, and certain people who lived here before us claim this house has always been haunted. i even sought outside help and the woman told me that it was an entity who has been living here for decades, possibly centuries, harassing anyone who lived here.

that is so interesting!!

oh no i don't think your child is crazy at all. it is not crazy to see and hear spirits. it is crazy when society doesn't understand it and starts calling you crazy. i think many people who do go crazy are just extremely psychic and don't know what it is or how to handle it.

it is interesting that your child is 4 years old. that is exactly the age that [can't mention names here unfortunately] says that children can still see spirit guides and remember past lives. so your child is probably still sort of half in this material world and half in the one he/she just came from. it would be interesting to ask him/her if he/she "remembers being big". and see what he/she says. might just look at you like his/her mom has gone crazy or he/she may start telling you about his/her past lives. would be very interesting.


i believe alcohol, too, can open doors that are better left shut. this is why i don't drink. i've seen too many people change into someone i didn't recognize, only knew it was someone entrenched in negativity. many people i've spoken to about this have experienced the same thing. some people even lose their memory when they drink, i find this is the point when there is a solid separation between who they normally are, and the darker person they become. you never know who is stepping through the door.

oh yeah definitely. i think he was already open to these sort of lower vibrations/realms and the drugs just opened that door wider. i agree with you.


that's extremely sad.
i believe children heal much more quickly than adults. particularly than adults living in an environment which is more damaging than healing. it takes looking around, looking at your peers, looking at your family in other parts of the world, to see that maybe you are in a "bad place" that you need to leave. since we can't control the others in our lives, it's incorrect to say that we can change our environment, sometimes it's just too much to juggle for one person trying to be positive especially if you have dependants or no good support system, etc etc.

well it wasn't exactly a pleasure cruise that is for sure. lol but in hindsight i am fully thankful for my experience thus far and i know that some serious fruit of knowledge was born of it. i know a lot about a lot of stuff that i probably would not know about if it wasn't for the intense search for answers that i went through. so i am thankful and i would do it all over again.

but then again, do we really need adversity to grow? i keep coming back to yes. i think the answer is yes. i mean, if every day was a picnic we would probably only lightly muse about why and how the flowers grow. it is not until winter comes and kills everything do we really get motivated.


i'm so glad to hear your mom went through the healing. i see you're fully understanding of her struggles and i'm willing to bet that aided her in her healing, perhaps more than you know.

well i would like to think so. many mistakes were made on both of our sides but we love and value each other tremendously now.

but then again, were they mistakes? are there any mistakes in our universe? i like to think not. but it is tough being such a small percentage of the population who thinks like that.


part of the reason some people never heal is because they're taught to stay where they are. they're taught that staying where they are is "loyalty" or keeping vows etc. anyone who betrays those vows and commitments is forever stigmatized, even if it's their own pride pointing the finger of accusation. i have seen this as well, the saddest part being when people are misguided into staying in their prisons of misery.


thank you as well, love to you too.

agreed. or the philosophy of "just don't think about it. it's in the past". i think these things need to be shaken free and allowed to come to the surface, experienced, loved, embraced and set free. not just ignored and tried to be forgotten about because they fester and make people crooked.

big smiles and love. thanks again.

@dreamweaver

protein every two hours? really? i did not know that.

[AllyKat]

i'd just like to say how thankful i also am for all my wonderful friends here its such a blessing to be able to have these discussions with love and acceptance of eachother :-)

whew!!! what an interesting thread it really hits home in so many ways...foo, noel, mmarie i have so much in common with you guys!!! you all seem like such strong loving people and just reading through your comments has given me strength and i'm so greatful for the advice.

i grew up in a house steeped in negativity. i lived with mom and dad...what a trip to the twilight zone those two are..you ain't seen crazy till you see these two lol i'll keep this brief because i could write volumes lol like i'm sure you guys can too. if anyone would like to swap stories in further detail please pm me.

mom has a history of anxiety/panic attacks and general nuerosis. she hasnt been on any medication since i've been alive and hasn't sought any treatment at all that i know of. i just know many years ago she was on valume. she mentioned this to me as well as the fact that she didn't want to leave the house for a number of years. shes afraid of the thruway, elevators, and pretty much going anywhere that isn't within a few miles of her house. she was and still is basically obsessed with me. i was a very stressed out child because i just felt pretty much like a puppet projection of her nuerosis.

dad is a psychologist who is also a paranoid psychotic in my opinion. i dont have any conformation of this other than my own observations but i do know he lived and went to school in new zealand for ten years in the sixties and was committed for mysterious unknown reasons "stress" is the only excuse i've ever been given. he was big into the anti war movement and claims the cia was watching him. who knows this could be true..he was the top student in the psychology department and was being pressured to get his phd he was apparhently a genious in his field. after he was committed his first wife divorced him and he couldn't find work so he came back to the states met my mom and had me.

he still couldn't find work in the states so he became very very very angry and increasingly paranoid that it was all due to the goverment being out to get him. when he would get a job he would somehow always manage to get fired now the reasons he gave me do seem to add up to foul play but who knows. reguardless he became paranoid about other people an dsituations as well and just an angry angry man. i would be in the grocery store with him and he'd be bashing into people with the shopping cart if they didn't move out of his way and just swearing up a storm in line...and thats just th etip of the iceberg...needless to say this made me very stressed. he told me when i was eleven he was going to kill himself by sitting in his running car with a hose out the tailpipe into the window

a typical day in my house was waking up my parents having a terrible argument, my dad leaving for the day and me left with my mom. this is getting kinda long so like i said please pm me if anyone wants to discuss this further and share their story. anyway i'm sharing this with you all to let ya know your not alone and also to vent :-) and the advice given already has helped and i have healed somewhat from this ordeal i keep in mind that i feel i chose this preincarnation to serve as catalyst for my awakening and as a chance to serve others and show unconditional love.

my only concern is i feel i have absorbed a lot of this negativity and still have a lot to heal and kinda at my wits end because i've tried everything and meditate and do yoga everyday and i feel kinda stuck....anyway i just wanted to share with you guys becaus e this is a topic of great significance in my life. i pray we may be able to help eacother on our journey.

[AllyKat]

i'd just like to add....there were many times of great happiness and love and light shining through the dark for me...really...i've had many blessings along the way..grandparents who were amazing sources of strenghth and love..wonderful friends..even happy times with my parents and i truly feel i chose this before i incarnated i told my parents when i was four..."i knew you before i was born..i loved you before i was born" i remember saying that to this day and feeling this intense love and seeing in my minds eye a brilliant light that i not only came from but am...realized my post was a little dark needed to add this bright little story to it :-)

[FooSnik]

i'd just like to say how thankful i also am for all my wonderful friends here its such a blessing to be able to have these discussions with love and acceptance of eachother :-)

whew!!! what an interesting thread it really hits home in so many ways...foo, noel, mmarie i have so much in common with you guys!!! you all seem like such strong loving people and just reading through your comments has given me strength and i'm so greatful for the advice.

i grew up in a house steeped in negativity. i lived with mom and dad...what a trip to the twilight zone those two are..you ain't seen crazy till you see these two lol i'll keep this brief because i could write volumes lol like i'm sure you guys can too. if anyone would like to swap stories in further detail please pm me.

mom has a history of anxiety/panic attacks and general nuerosis. she hasnt been on any medication since i've been alive and hasn't sought any treatment at all that i know of. i just know many years ago she was on valume. she mentioned this to me as well as the fact that she didn't want to leave the house for a number of years. shes afraid of the thruway, elevators, and pretty much going anywhere that isn't within a few miles of her house. she was and still is basically obsessed with me. i was a very stressed out child because i just felt pretty much like a puppet projection of her nuerosis.

dad is a psychologist who is also a paranoid psychotic in my opinion. i dont have any conformation of this other than my own observations but i do know he lived and went to school in new zealand for ten years in the sixties and was committed for mysterious unknown reasons "stress" is the only excuse i've ever been given. he was big into the anti war movement and claims the cia was watching him. who knows this could be true..he was the top student in the psychology department and was being pressured to get his phd he was apparhently a genious in his field. after he was committed his first wife divorced him and he couldn't find work so he came back to the states met my mom and had me.

he still couldn't find work in the states so he became very very very angry and increasingly paranoid that it was all due to the goverment being out to get him. when he would get a job he would somehow always manage to get fired now the reasons he gave me do seem to add up to foul play but who knows. reguardless he became paranoid about other people an dsituations as well and just an angry angry man. i would be in the grocery store with him and he'd be bashing into people with the shopping cart if they didn't move out of his way and just swearing up a storm in line...and thats just th etip of the iceberg...needless to say this made me very stressed. he told me when i was eleven he was going to kill himself by sitting in his running car with a hose out the tailpipe into the window

a typical day in my house was waking up my parents having a terrible argument, my dad leaving for the day and me left with my mom. this is getting kinda long so like i said please pm me if anyone wants to discuss this further and share their story. anyway i'm sharing this with you all to let ya know your not alone and also to vent :-) and the advice given already has helped and i have healed somewhat from this ordeal i keep in mind that i feel i chose this preincarnation to serve as catalyst for my awakening and as a chance to serve others and show unconditional love.

my only concern is i feel i have absorbed a lot of this negativity and still have a lot to heal and kinda at my wits end because i've tried everything and meditate and do yoga everyday and i feel kinda stuck....anyway i just wanted to share with you guys becaus e this is a topic of great significance in my life. i pray we may be able to help eacother on our journey.

wow yeah, allycat we have a lot in common. my old man was a psychiatrist. that man actually got kicked out of the entire state of virginia for medical malpractice. then managed to get himself, and tried to pull my mom into, another huge case in which he broke the law somehow in maryland.

so how does your father manage to help other people get well if he himself is not well?

my mom is a social worker now and by being a social worker was how she started to figure herself out. she said one day in school the professor had a list of some of the major character disorders on the black board and my mom took a look at it and started sobbing uncontrollably right there in class. she had to get up and leave for the day. because there on the board was her mother, father, husband, mother-in-law and so on, all described in neat little categories. it was a sudden and overwhelming experience to suddenly have the light of understanding shine like that.

is there anyway you could get a little breathing room from them? like maybe go to school and live on campus there in buffalo? my situation is a little different but the second i graduated high school i got the hell away and lived three thousand miles away with my brother. and that is when my mom started to heal. but just some space for you to cultivate your own independent life and follow your dreams. in this way you will be able to keep your batteries charged and then you will be more emotionally available for your parents. i think you need space because you are being suffocated by your obsessive mom and your dad's negativity.


i'd just like to add....there were many times of great happiness and love and light shining through the dark for me...really...i've had many blessings along the way..grandparents who were amazing sources of strenghth and love..wonderful friends..even happy times with my parents and i truly feel i chose this before i incarnated i told my parents when i was four..."i knew you before i was born..i loved you before i was born" i remember saying that to this day and feeling this intense love and seeing in my minds eye a brilliant light that i not only came from but am...realized my post was a little dark needed to add this bright little story to it :-)

cool! you actually told them you knew them before hand! oh that is awesome. what a big help it is for you to have this knowledge. it would be much harder for you if you thought life just handed you a raw deal. but you know you chose this for a reason!

my first word that i said as a baby was, "light!" i thought that was pretty cool. :d

[mmariebored]

foo and ally,
the other "experts" out there are far from perfect, your family is not much different than the "norm". i have plenty of family in the medical and social working field who tell horror stories about their co-workers, and are themselves imperfect.

you don't have to have it all together to be a "professional", and most of them don't. every human alive has their own issues to deal with. the ones who can manage to keep their professional personality seperate from their private personality can either be in perfect balance, or a bordering schyzophrenic.

[FooSnik]

foo and ally,
the other "experts" out there are far from perfect, your family is not much different than the "norm". i have plenty of family in the medical and social working field who tell horror stories about their co-workers, are are themselves imperfect.

you don't have to have it all together to be a "professional", and most of them don't. every human alive has their own issues to deal with. the ones who can manage to keep their professional personality seperate from their private personality can either be in perfect balance, or a bordering schyzophrenic.

i know nobody is perfect. and i suppose a depressed person could be a therapist and help other people not be depressed.

but you don't want a serial killer teaching anger management classes. lol see what i am saying?

[AllyKat]

see my dads working right now at a state run facility for delinquent teenage boys. hes been there eight years the longest hes had a job since i was born. usually they would last up to a year before some ridiculous fiasco would ensue. he is also rather aged..72 now so hes has chilled out as of late.

i'm not sure though what is different this time around..how he functions at work and is able to keep his job. like kinda you said mmarie. i'm sure it has a lot to do with him putting on his "mask" at work and acting "professional" where as he was unable to do that other times. granted he would supposedly get fired for going up against the system like when he worked at a prison and complained about how the prisoners were treated and how heavily drugged they were. i feel he has a good heart but is deeply hurt and angry at alot of whats happened in his life. he lost his mother at twelve..plus some of the other stuff i mentioned.

he is delusional. he has this theory of karma i'm interested to see what you guys think of it. i personally disagree with him. the theory has no spiritual component to it he is a materialist although thinks darwin was wrong but as far as consciouness...he feels it is created by the brain no brain= no consciousness so he feels that what karma is is your own self trying to destroy you because you haven't been operating as a sane person. for example say you get in a car crash and it was your fault. he would say you subconsciously caused the crash on purpose as an attemp to kill your self becasue you can't stand the way you are living becasue say for example you are running a ponsi scam and cheating people out of money.

another part to this is he feels he is "number one" he claims to be the "top psychologist" in the world knowing more about how humans should live than anyone else. so anytime something happens to him like gettign fired or whatever he says that "they" will get karma for it becasue they have treated number one poorly. then he'll hear about say a co-worker that he felt had messed with him in some way and link it to being karma delivered on his behalf. sounds like sts behavior doesn't it??

i sometimes have felt as i awaken that he is trying to polarize on the negative path and knows a lot he doesn't tell me about. i know he has ben trying to brainwash me my whole life to think like him.

foo, i haven't lived with my dad since he got this new job i live with just my mom an d ive been loving her the best i can things are ok now that i'm older. i agree i do need to get out of this house though. the thing is i moved out and lived with an ex boyfriend from the time i was 19-23 (i'm 26 now) but that was an abusive relationship so i traded one sick situation for another. i moved home with mom with the plan to go to ub then move out when i graduated. well i finished school in dec of '07 and haven't been able to find a good job to afford to live on my own so thats where i'm at now.

my jaw dropped when i read your dad got kicked out of virginia lol i'm so happy that your mom has been able to start her healing journey. i send her love and healing energies its good that you got out of the house at an early age..you think having a brother made it a little easier to cope? i have a half brother from my dad they dont speak, big surprise hes 44 and lives in colorado. i feel like if i did have a sibling growing up with me it would have been easier to cope but i dont know what was your experience??

your first word was light?!? thats so cool....you are blessed my friend...we all are and i am so lucky to of had that experience at four to let me know what the deal is..then when i found this site so much made sense. its truly been a blessing...

[MarkM]

3d life isn't meant to be easy. while i don't mean to imply that one can't find happiness and contentment, no one here lives without an ample measure of difficulties and sorrow.

for all of us, whether wanderer or native to this 3d evolution there is the impetus to evolve and grow; to integrate and resolve the parts of us which are existing outside of love. i tend to look at third density as an extremely intense period of being continuously faced with ourselves, and when life becomes unpleasant and sorrowful, we are indeed at those very times when self examination and inner seeking can have the most fruitful results.

i am personally going through a very tough time at present, and so i have been endeavoring to find the love in the moment as they say. this is difficult, as what i'm being faced with at present is the parts of me which still minister to the blockages of the lower chakras, the parts which are as yet in a state of disconnect in regard to unconditional love in and for all aspects of life. however much attainment as i may feel i have spiritually, i'm amazed to find how much there is still deep inside which amounts to a selfish and self-absorbed defensive posture with life and those i love.

so, this is not a bad thing. if life decided to cut me a break and stop holding myself up in front of me, i'd be without the catalyst and impetus to continue with my self excavation. so, as things become more intense in these days of the turning of the great cycles of experience on earth, i remind myself that the effort is true and well played. yet there's evidence for me personally that i have a lot of digging, sifting, examining and so on to do.

while i do harbour profound and as yet not fully uncovered shadow issues, at least i know that there is progress being made. i hold no illusions of expecting that i'm anywhere near the bottom of the mine shaft, or that i'll get to become some kind of perfected being while incarnate here, this time around. i sometimes beat myself up when i look at myself and see what is still imperfect and base and coarse, and when i see myself reacting to stuff with less than full acceptance and love, i remind myself of what has been achieved, what beauty is already mine to enjoy and cherish, and that i am evolving; and the creator asks no more of me.

all of us are going through the same process whether we see it consciously or not. the most distorted seeming and troubled-minded are evolving all the same. while it may be agonizingly sad to see our loved ones twisting on the pike and lashing out at the world, their road leads inexorably up - all appearances to the contrary. every last one of us will find their way home, and find peace and love. every one.

so, imo, take solace in the fact that you are doing well! believe it or not, we're all doing well. the unpleasant conditions of your life are as they are and have been, i offer, for the greater purpose of your continued growth. these are all things i believe we chose before coming here, to keep us moving forward. i'd recommend we all give ourselves a huge pat on the back, for we are all quite far along in the curriculum, and we are all being applauded for our efforts to find love in all things.

accepting, forgiving and appreciating our own imperfections (as we do with others) - loving our selves for who we are now, may well be something we all tend to forget to consider all too often. each of us is perhaps in some need of being loved, forgiven, cherished and held by our own selves. we are all perfect in our becoming, and we may need to remind ourselves of that!

you've come a long way from 2d, baby!:p mark

[FooSnik]

accepting, forgiving and appreciating our own imperfections (as we do with others) - loving our selves for who we are now, may well be something we all tend to forget to consider all too often. each of us is perhaps in some need of being loved, forgiven, cherished and held by our own selves. we are all perfect in our becoming, and we may need to remind ourselves of that!

you've come a long way from 2d, baby!:p mark

dude, that will go down as one of the best sermons i have ever heard. i felt like i was sitting in a beautiful sunlit monastery on a warm sunday morning, hearing your voice echo through the chamber like a gregorian chant.

:d

loves it!

i know that everybody is under a lot of pressure. everyone. wanderers, natives, all nationalities, all experiencing trials and tribulations.

and if we are not experiencing adversity than we are not living/growing right?

i will wait till i am 85 years old to be content. until then i will continue to try to expand myself as far as i can go.

[mmariebored]

i know nobody is perfect. and i suppose a depressed person could be a therapist and help other people not be depressed.

but you don't want a serial killer teaching anger management classes. lol see what i am saying?

i never said they "should" be doing the work they do.

i'm of the opinion that there are many people in fields they should not be in, based on what they themselves have made known publicly. you can easily google polls and stats to get that information...


edit to say, holy cow, mark, your post was the alignment check i needed. thank you for that.

[Babyblue]

i don't cope with life , i live it to its fullest, every small task i do i give it 100%, every mundane job i do, 100%, i live life in abundance, this is what true awakening is about, not becoming god like, or gaining super powers, its being able to relish life as a precious gift in even the most simple acts. even when surrounded by great negativity can one find great love and joy, by not judging that which we come in to contact with can one be liberated in to love. when you're judging, you're not loving, and you become tired.
thats my personal experience, not trying to say you are judgemental or anything of that nature, thats just my personal take on it, that when i started to open my eyes, i began judging that which was around me as neg and pos, this is still dualistic thinking and not oneness, but oness was the next step that came once i began to embrace every moment of life more fully from a state of joy.
blessings bb x x x

[AllyKat]

thanks mark lovely words :-)

[mmariebored]

...i began judging that which was around me as neg and pos, this is still dualistic thinking and not oneness...
too many people abuse the word "judge".

when you see a human being, an innocent, being beaten to death, and you decide you don't like this action, you are making a "judgement" on the action. you don't have to decide why this person is doing the action, that is not for you to "judge", you only need to decide that the action itself is wrong and then you need to decide whether or not you should intercede.

if you were to sit there and watch the innocent get beaten to a pulp, and decide that you are at "one" with this action, not wanting to be "dualistic", it is as if you are doing the beating yourself. because you witnessed it and allowed it. any court system will agree with me. it's called being an accomplis.

seeing the difference between negative and positive is similar, but not the same as, seeing the difference between night and day.

some animals prefer to hunt at night. most humans prefer daylight hours, but not all humans, some prefer night. no harm is being done in the choosing between this dark and light. we can be "one" with both of these decisions, understanding that both are needed and/or prefered.

i don't believe, for one moment, that there is any need for the harming of another human being.

i'm very worried about this up and rising sheep mentality causing people to accept what they clearly should not be accepting because they misunderstand the difference between judging an action and judging the person doing the action.

this is the mentality that allowed a group of people on a bus to do nothing to stop a small man as he decapitated another man. the kind of mentality that allowed a group of people in a hospital waiting room to watch an elderly woman to collapse and lie there, dead, for two hours, before someone finally decided to notice her.

there is a huge difference between judging a person for their actions, and judging the action itself, and whether or not it's doing harm.

even our own bodies know the difference between helpful bacteria and harmful, allowing the one while disposing of the other.

[LordDragon]

when you see a human being, an innocent, being beaten to death, and you decide you don't like this action, you are making a "judgement" on the action. you don't have to decide why this person is doing the action, that is not for you to "judge", you only need to decide that the action itself is wrong and then you need to decide whether or not you should intercede.

if you were to sit there and watch the innocent get beaten to a pulp, and decide that you are at "one" with this action, not wanting to be "dualistic", it is as if you are doing the beating yourself. because you witnessed it and allowed it. any court system will agree with me. it's called being an accomplis.

hi mariebored

one can also ask this question (while seeing someone being beaten to pulp), what am i doing here? is it a coincidence that i am here now watching this? maybe the fact you are there is no coincidence but it offers an opportunity to alter the situation. you can say, i am going to help. only by doing or not doing you become one with the situation. when you do nothing then you indeed allow another me to beat up another me. when you try to help, you can do this by using humor, you are choosing to defend the weaker other me, and to prevent the stronger other me to harm weaker others me's. i often found out that the agressor is like obsessed with agression and emotional out of balance while acting agressive. humor is something you can use to pull the agressive other me out of the grip of the agression. what is the sto here? do nothing and allow negative forces to take over, or do something and so become the presenter of positive energy, which can result in peace.

an example

once in a year there is a big party for ten days in gent. on an evening we saw a guy beating up a woman pulling hair out of her head. i went to the guy and i asked. "he mate where did you buy this toy girl?" he answered "that's not a toy girl it's my wife"; and i replied "o then you must be from another planet because down here we dont beat our wives, they carry our children so we handle them with care".(my frends loughing) he answered, "she lied to me and i can not tolerate that". now i had the guy talking.
whitin a few minutes the guy was not agressive anymore, a frend of mine gave the woman a towell to clean her face. and we invented them to get relaxed on a terras, and they get a drink for free. after a while we saw them talking and maybe after an hour they came to say goodbeye and the walked away calm hand in hand.

i believe that if i can alter a negative situation into a positive, as a warrior i must give it a try. but since everybody is as free as i am, i accept people handling in other way's. the only thing i can do is live my life to be an example for others.

blessings, ld.

[mmariebored]

hi mariebored

one can also ask this question (while seeing someone being beaten to pulp), what am i doing here? is it a coincidence that i am here now watching this? maybe the fact you are there is no coincidence but it offers an opportunity to alter the situation. you can say, i am going to help. only by doing or not doing you become one with the situation. when you do nothing then you indeed allow another me to beat up another me. when you try to help, you can do this by using humor, you are choosing to defend the weaker other me, and to prevent the stronger other me to harm weaker others me's. i often found out that the agressor is like obsessed with agression and emotional out of balance while acting agressive. humor is something you can use to pull the agressive other me out of the grip of the agression. what is the sto here? do nothing and allow negative forces to take over, or do something and so become the presenter of positive energy, which can result in peace.

i do understand your reasoning here and it does fit in with the whole loo oneness theme. my point was the misuse of the word "judging".


an example

once in a year there is a big party for ten days in gent. on an evening we saw a guy beating up a woman pulling hair out of her head. i went to the guy and i asked. "he mate where did you buy this toy girl?" he answered "that's not a toy girl it's my wife"; and i replied "o then you must be from another planet because down here we dont beat our wives, they carry our children so we handle them with care".(my frends loughing) he answered, "she lied to me and i can not tolerate that". now i had the guy talking.
whitin a few minutes the guy was not agressive anymore, a frend of mine gave the woman a towell to clean her face. and we invented them to get relaxed on a terras, and they get a drink for free. after a while we saw them talking and maybe after an hour they came to say goodbeye and the walked away calm hand in hand.

i believe that if i can alter a negative situation into a positive, as a warrior i must give it a try. but since everybody is as free as i am, i accept people handling in other way's. the only thing i can do is live my life to be an example for others.

blessings, ld.
that was very noble of you to step in like that and help the woman.
i do understand, fully, the reasoning for wanting to see everyone as "other me's", because it helps us to deal with them the way we want to be dealt with. this is wonderful. i, personally, prefer to view people as children. children with parents who love them. this helps me to love them, because i love my own children. see, it's whatever helps you "cope with 3d". nothing is set in stone. but some things make more sense than others, depending on your perspective.

[LordDragon]

@mmariebored


my point was the misuse of the word "judging".

i'm sorry still not talking english like you guy's and girls. i should have been more explicit on this one : "only by doing or not doing you become one with the situation." some people believe they are not judging when they do nothing. i believe this to be wrong. when you do nothing you are as you said before allowing another me beating up another me, so you act of no acting, no doing, results in the allowing of beating eachother up.
i do agree that we do not have to judge the other me's but the situation. by being witness of such a situation you also become part of it. by becoming part of it you get the choice do something or do nothing. to me in this kind of situation, doing nothing is the negative side, (allowing another me beating up another me is like allowing beating up myself), with doing something you can present positive energy to the other me's which can result in another kind of interaction, like communicating in stead of beating up. offcourse when you would choose to do something in a negative way, like acting agressive to the agressor you will not reach the same result. i which to say explicit that i mean helping by givin some positive energy to other me's in a negative situation. so you have to analyse the situation and maybe that's the only judging which is right to do.


i do understand, fully, the reasoning for wanting to see everyone as "other me's", because it helps us to deal with them the way we want to be dealt with. this is wonderful.

this is correct. the way of the warrior is dealing with the others me's as you want to be dealt with. in the cycle of the law of equality, all of us have been eachothers father mother doughter sons frends nephews grandfather grandmother, because all of us needed this experience.(imagine how many lifes you could have had within a 75000 year timespan) to a warrior it is absurd not to see the others as other me's; because it is the same as seeing the others as strangers while they are your brothers and sisters; to a warrior we are one big family, even the alien lifeforms from outer space are in fact our brothers and sisters, are part of the big family, are another me.
i am happy to share this with you and the others (other me's) here :)

blessings, ld.

[Babyblue]

too many people abuse the word "judge".

when you see a human being, an innocent, being beaten to death, and you decide you don't like this action, you are making a "judgement" on the action. you don't have to decide why this person is doing the action, that is not for you to "judge", you only need to decide that the action itself is wrong and then you need to decide whether or not you should intercede.

even our own bodies know the difference between helpful bacteria and harmful, allowing the one while disposing of the other.

when you get there, you will understand. non judgement is not a thought process its a state of being, you dont get it by mentally trying to understand what the exact meaning of the word "judgement" is, its a state of being.
in love with all things and having no fear, feeling at one with everything. seperation only occurs within duality.
bliss and unconditional love and a total absence of fear leads to non judgement. while you stay argueing this and that you still havent reached it, but you could be very close, on the brink...i'm excited for you. good luck with that!
love bb x

[Babyblue]

too many people abuse the word "judge".

.

who are you to say who abuses or misuses words? i think this is really the ego talking, telling people they mis use words, perhaps you have another way to see it doesnt mean others "misuse" or "abuse" words. the ego tries to cling on to judgement as long as it can, finding ways to trick you in to continuing your egoic behaviour.

this person is hurting another, i must jump in.....
what about personal karma, by jumping in you take on the karma also, thats fine but not for everyone.
victim and abuser both invoke these situations for their own growth and learning, you judge it as horrible, or wrong, but its their own lesson.
do you judge maths and english at school as good or bad, right or wrong? we all chose our lessons here, whatever they are or however ugly they may seem. all you can do is chose your own lessons without judging others choices of lessons, whether that be rape, abuse, robbery, joy, bliss or ascension.
this is all just illusion, we are all one.

love and bliss, every joyful bb x x x

[mmariebored]

@mmariebored
some people believe they are not judging when they do nothing. i believe this to be wrong. when you do nothing you are as you said before allowing another me beating up another me, so you act of no acting, no doing, results in the allowing of beating eachother up.
i do agree that we do not have to judge the other me's but the situation. by being witness of such a situation you also become part of it. by becoming part of it you get the choice do something or do nothing. to me in this kind of situation, doing nothing is the negative side, (allowing another me beating up another me is like allowing beating up myself), with doing something you can present positive energy to the other me's which can result in another kind of interaction, like communicating in stead of beating up. offcourse when you would choose to do something in a negative way, like acting agressive to the agressor you will not reach the same result. i which to say explicit that i mean helping by givin some positive energy to other me's in a negative situation. so you have to analyse the situation and maybe that's the only judging which is right to do.
well, that is the best way to help a situation, by putting positive energies into it instead of negative. some people might see this as a negative "interfering", but it's only negative interfering if you were not supposed to be in the situation in the first place, such as if you were listening in on a person's phone conversation and you suddenly blurted out, "hey! you can't talk to her like that, that isn't very nice.", i can see how you would be in a much more compromised position to "help". in that situation, most likely, anything you do or say, will turn out negative, because you didn't belong there in the first place.

however, as with your story about the man and woman, they were displaying their fight out in public, interrupting what had been a positive event, with their negativity. so, you were not only helping them, but also everyone in the area effected by this. and everyone is effected, in some way...rules of relativity. the only way they wouldn't have been is if they didn't see anything or hear anything.


this is correct. the way of the warrior is dealing with the others me's as you want to be dealt with. in the cycle of the law of equality, all of us have been eachothers father mother doughter sons frends nephews grandfather grandmother, because all of us needed this experience.(imagine how many lifes you could have had within a 75000 year timespan) to a warrior it is absurd not to see the others as other me's; because it is the same as seeing the others as strangers while they are your brothers and sisters; to a warrior we are one big family, even the alien lifeforms from outer space are in fact our brothers and sisters, are part of the big family, are another me.
i am happy to share this with you and the others (other me's) here :)

blessings, ld.
i do enjoy your point of view, it's nice, but i still believe that it would be a very lonely universe if there were only "one" of us here. i feel that it helps me to try harder to interact with others following acceptable social rules of conduct when i believe that we are not "one", but many different versions of archetypes, all connected to one infinite intelligence, an intelligence who didn't want to be alone in the universe, thus, creation.

i believe it's good to have several points of views because it helps us to be more rounded, more "dimensional" in our thinking.

for some people on this planet, for whatever reasons, when they view a situation like the one you talked about, they will get pleasure out of the negativity. they may even have the same perspective about everyone being "other me's", so to them, they are enjoying the "other me's" beating each other up. it feeds their violent cravings. to this person, it would be safe to say that the rules of "one" might not be the best perspective for them to have acquired. the again, everyone was molded from birth up until now, shaped by their surroundings, and also by the beliefs they learned and accepted(for whatever reason). most likely, there are many belief systems that will have a positive effect on some and a negative effect on others, depending on so many factors.

thank you for taking the time to discuss this with me. :)

[LoveWins]

to answer "how do you cope with 3 d life?" ... i get by with a little help from my friends :-) *grin*

i get by basically by reminding myself this is an experience, and to not get to caught up in the seriousness of it all. of course, events happen that are serious, losses, upsets, and occasional depressions. but that just lets me know it's all experiences.

comedy.. humour seems to be the final answer after everything else. you just gotta lighten up sometimes and remember it's all just a small teeny piece of the pie.

it helps to let things go when it's time. usually those are the things you don't want to lose the most. ( i know, i still struggle with this one)

i can't argue it's not difficult at times.. unless you come here or somewhere online that tends to attract those like us ;-)... or if you are lucky enough to have someone in real life who even thinks about this stuff.. it can make you feel like 3d is a bit much. so unplugging from it sometimes is my own answer, my oasis. i find things that make me laugh like watching the daily show or whatever, i sit outside on the porch and read .. i make my own world as best i can.

i leave it to others to argue over the right or wrong way of doing/saying things, i just go with what works for me.

what works for everyone is different but finding a way to laugh i think is critical to everyone's sanity ;-)

[mmariebored]

non judgement is not a thought process its a state of being, you dont get it by mentally trying to understand what the exact meaning of the word "judgement" is, its a state of being.
every decision you make is based on a "judgment" of the circumstances surrounding your final choice. based on what you just said, we're not supposed to think, only...be?


seperation only occurs within duality.

there is a such thing as being too much in the mentality of "oneness", because most of us have to live here in 3d planet earth. and here on 3d planet earth, we have to make choices based on that seperation you claim is dualistic. but whatever works for you is all that matters. i've found what works for me, so i am "there" now. :)

[noel1111]

hi all,

here is a general question about the time we all have left in 3d... if the world as we know it is going to change in the very short years we are coming up to. is it worth it to go back to school? maybe i'm missing a huge lesson which is why i feel the need to ask this question. i'm contemplating a huge life change that involves going back to school and completely changing careers. i've been meditating and asking the question if i should or not for a long time now and am having problems deciphering what it is i should do. just wanted some guidance on the issue.

if i choose this path then the next year will be a very challenging one. just wondering what is best to do in the upcoming years?

thanking you all again for your support and guidance...

[Purple Dragon]

if i choose this path then the next year will be a very challenging one. just wondering what is best to do in the upcoming years?

only you can answer what is best for you. that being said, you may be asking yourself the wrong questions. we are all hear to each teach/learn or learn/teach (most of the time both), so try asking yourself what the best way to be of service is.

it is always a benefit to gain experience and knowledge, and school may or may not be right for you. it depends on what you want to learn to help you teach others (this is of course assuming you have chosen sto).

personally, i found school to not be helpful in my path. i found a job i love, without getting past high-school, that lets me have contact with many entities which increases the possibilities of helping others.

it is tempting to ask ourselves what is going to happen to us in the coming years, what exactly does moving into the 4th means and how is it going to affect our current lives. just remember it is this moment that is important, so don't worry about the future, plan for the present. enjoy the moment, learn from today and teach what you can now, for what happens tomorrow can be decided then.

best of luck ;)

[noel1111]

thanks purple dragon,

what i am finding is the place i currently work is full of people who only want to make money. if they aren't making money they become angry and bitter towards the ones who are. generally speaking they can be nice people but are not the type of individuals i want to surround myself with.

recently i took some classes at the school i am thinking of attending as a way to dip my toes in the water. i have found the shift in attitude so amazing to me. the people there are so kind and helpful to each other, it really is a nice environment. i have been blessed to meet so many different types of people there from around the world. they make me laugh and also im learning about their cultures. they have a real passion for what they are learning and i think that really makes a difference in a person.

so i guess i've answered my own question. even if this path is difficult i think i prefer to be in an environment where people have passion for learning and life. not stay in a place with people who only think of money because its a comfortable and safe paycheck.

i was reading in the loo series that we are to use 3d to experience everything. if i stay stagnent then my experience too stagnates. and if life as we know it will end in 2012 then i guess i dont need to worry about paying back a student loan. lol

[charles obscure]

^^^it doesnt exactly say in the loo we are here to experience everything, it says we are here to experience ~all things desired~ and to then distill the love/light from those experiences. i think it has something to do with the realization that the love/light distilled from these experiences doesnt actually derive from the physical experiences themselves but from the powers of our own mind/body/soul to create. thats my random thought of the day take it as you will.

as far as how do i cope with 3d life? lately honestly i dont cope too well.

[mmariebored]

^^^it doesnt exactly say in the loo we are here to experience everything, it says we are here to experience ~all things desired~ and to then distill the love/light from those experiences. i think it has something to do with the realization that the love/light distilled from these experiences doesnt actually derive from the physical experiences themselves but from the powers of our own mind/body/soul to create. thats my random thought of the day take it as you will.

as far as how do i cope with 3d life? lately honestly i dont cope too well.
first, i hope you're feeling better today.
as far as experiencing everything, i agree, who would want to? there are a lot of horrible things i don't care to experience, in the least bit. i don't see how experiencing everything would benefit anything.

we can take a small experience, good or bad, and grow it in our minds to match someone else's experience, the effect is just as helpful in understanding what they're going through. all it takes is a little imagination.

for example, we know that having our basic needs met is a level of comfort on earth and having an abundance is not all it's cracked up to be, because it comes with an abundance of responsibilities. but we can 'experience' what it's like by taking our own little duties and responsibilities or everyday pleasures, use our imagination, increasing it in our minds. tv and movies do this for us, by taking us into the lives of others easily, no imagination required.

this is one of the reasons i strongly disagree with some people's views that the people who are in the world and suffering greatly, have asked for that 'experience'.

[Ignol]

'horrible' is a term of perspective. imagination in the current world is not equal to actually participating in the experience itself, being in the actual shoes of the people involved, is quite something different. your imagined feelings in that situation, very often, are nowhere near the actual feelings or thoughts that go through you when you are actually in that situation.

to experience everything, is to be that much closer to the 'all' or 'source' or 'creator', or what have you.

we have all asked for these experiences, and we all incur almost the same level of suffering. suffering is almost balanced across the people of earth, as no matter what you have, or what you do or are, you still have problems in your life. the only difference is that the problems could, for instance, be worrying about the next harvest of crops failing, or trying to find food, or trying to keep enough money to not lose your home. no one is exempt from the common rule, that all those here suffer, and they have asked for it, to better themselves.

[Truth180]

'horrible' is a term of perspective. imagination in the current world is not equal to actually participating in the experience itself, being in the actual shoes of the people involved, is quite something different. your imagined feelings in that situation, very often, are nowhere near the actual feelings or thoughts that go through you when you are actually in that situation.

to experience everything, is to be that much closer to the 'all' or 'source' or 'creator', or what have you.

we have all asked for these experiences, and we all incur almost the same level of suffering. suffering is almost balanced across the people of earth, as no matter what you have, or what you do or are, you still have problems in your life. the only difference is that the problems could, for instance, be worrying about the next harvest of crops failing, or trying to find food, or trying to keep enough money to not lose your home. no one is exempt from the common rule, that all those here suffer, and they have asked for it, to better themselves.


that is what i say also. we all don't make the right choices in life and i look at it as there is a reason for it. so we expirence it even if its painful. really in my view through my experience in this life for most it may make people bitter or angry towards life even though they made those choices. for some makes them humble and appreciate life in other ways and still forgive those who caused the pain.

[mmariebored]

'horrible' is a term of perspective.
i don't believe i've ever heard of anyone who has had the experience of, say, dying of a.i.d.s, or having digits fall off due to leprosy etc., call the experience anything other than a term synonymous to horrible.


we have all asked for these experiences, and we all incur almost the same level of suffering.
no one can possibly prove that statement, at all.

and how can you say we all incur the same level of suffering when there are children born with diseases who die shortly after they're born, their entire existance being filled with misery? there are always variables.

[charles obscure]

first, i hope you're feeling better today.
as far as experiencing everything, i agree, who would want to? there are a lot of horrible things i don't care to experience, in the least bit. i don't see how experiencing everything would benefit anything.

we can take a small experience, good or bad, and grow it in our minds to match someone else's experience, the effect is just as helpful in understanding what they're going through. all it takes is a little imagination.

for example, we know that having our basic needs met is a level of comfort on earth and having an abundance is not all it's cracked up to be, because it comes with an abundance of responsibilities. but we can 'experience' what it's like by taking our own little duties and responsibilities or everyday pleasures, use our imagination, increasing it in our minds. tv and movies do this for us, by taking us into the lives of others easily, no imagination required.

this is one of the reasons i strongly disagree with some people's views that the people who are in the world and suffering greatly, have asked for that 'experience'.

i am feeling quite a bit better today, thank you!

well, its a tricky thing weighing all these experiences and trying to decide who asked for what, or if everybody experiences everything. my intuition tells me on a literal/physical level not everyone experiences ~everything~ of course the same rules dont apply on a metaphysical level as all are experiences of the one creator, therefore everyone does experience everything on some level.

the loo states that all energy derives from the action of free will on love, therefore free will must always be honored, and i think putting everyone through the exact same experience limits choice and it limits free will, so that does not make sense to me. however, i also believe people need to experience a lot to gain true wisdom, and i think all of us go through a lot of different experiences in 3d before being harvestable to 4th positive or negative. i dont think its as simple as imagining certain experiences. some things have to be experienced to be learned, or there wouldnt be much point to the way we are currently learn/teaching, this concept is also observable in many many things within the context of our illusion. however, i feel that some experiences in the physical are definetely karmic reactions. its important to remember that our viewpoints are very limited in 3d, and that is where faith comes in. sometimes its hard to understand certain experiences but when these experiences are seen for what they are and the true nature of the illusion is revealed, it will make sense to us.

[mmariebored]

the loo states that all energy derives from the action of free will on love, therefore free will must always be honored, and i think putting everyone through the exact same experience limits choice and it limits free will, so that does not make sense to me. however, i also believe people need to experience a lot to gain true wisdom, and i think all of us go through a lot of different experiences in 3d before being harvestable to 4th positive or negative. i dont think its as simple as imagining certain experiences. some things have to be experienced to be learned, or there wouldnt be much point to the way we are currently learn/teaching, this concept is also observable in many many things within the context of our illusion.
hi, charles. i didn't say only through imagining. i said you could imagine someone's experience if you yourself have had a similar experience, only not to the extent of theirs. for example, you developed claustrophobia due to being locked in a closet for an hour when you were small, and then you find a friend who tells you she was kidnapped and locked in a coffin 20 hrs per day, for two years. ok, so maybe your experience was not nearly as bad as hers was, but you can take your fears from your experience and other information from your experience and grow them in your mind to match at least some of what she went through. you can also add many of your other experiences, such as a bad relationship where you felt trapped, and mix them in. it may not be a perfect replica of what she went through, but it would be close enough to make a good comparison in your mind, without having to experience something like that for yourself.


however, i feel that some experiences in the physical are definitely karmic reactions. its important to remember that our viewpoints are very limited in 3d, and that is where faith comes in. sometimes its hard to understand certain experiences but when these experiences are seen for what they are and the true nature of the illusion is revealed, it will make sense to us.
you're so right.
but i don't believe in clinging to faith because faith is based on information that came from another human being based on their perspective and, as you said, some things do need to be experienced in order to gain wisdom.

[kristinasophia]

so my belief is that where we are is exactly where we need to be. it feels it is important to accept the situation as it is. if we are constantly not wanting to be where we are, we get stuck because there is no place to take our first step from. it is like learning to play the guitar and wanting to be 10 steps ahead of where you are. you must start from where you are and go from there.

i also believe that there is a reason for everything. i think we find ourselves in stuck situations precisely so we can figure out how to get unstuck. when we get ourselves unstuck we learn how to help others get unstuck and that is a big reason we are all here, to help humanity ascend.

and to get unstuck i do things i love : sing, play music, dance, meditate and ask ask ask for help from your spirit guides, angels or whatever you wish to call them. and look for the beauty that surrounds you, a child, a flower, a cloud, a work of art, someone's eyes. practice seeing into the people who surround you. they are divine even if they don't have a clue.

[Parad0x]

quote:
we have all asked for these experiences, and we all incur almost the same level of suffering.

no one can possibly prove that statement, at all.

can anybody disprove such a statement either?


and how can you say we all incur the same level of suffering when there are children born with diseases who die shortly after they're born, their entire existance being filled with misery? there are always variables.

your assumption is based on the premise that it's possible not to exist. we only move from form to form. the creator is experiencing itself through us in infinite ways.

[mmariebored]

can anybody disprove such a statement either?
the point was not to state theory as a fact.


your assumption is based on the premise that it's possible not to exist. we only move from form to form. the creator is experiencing itself through us in infinite ways.
your assumption is entirely based on the loo being factual and i am simply providing a catalystic viewpoint, which helps the mind expand and not settle into a pool of stagnation(like most religions guide you into). the whole reason for having a discussion forum is to get all kinds of viewpoints, which helps all kinds of people in all kinds of ways.

you say that the creator is experiencing itself through us, whereas i say maybe we are separate beings though connected to each other. lets suppose, if the loo were accurate info, doesn't it make sense that the whole reason ra can't seem to get to the goal of being "all that there is" is because there is no melding back into creator?

ra:


we cannot say what is beyond this dissolution of the unified self with all that there is, for we still seek to become all that there is, and still are we ra. thus our paths go onward.
the way we bring our experiences to creator is by moving forward, not backward(melding would be backward). if there is a creator, it's in everything there is anyway, including ra, so it makes no sense to try to meld back into that unless by "meld" you mean cease to exist. so if there is no going backward, then there are more of us here than just one. i don't know, but i do know that none of the materials on that add up to the conclusions and oft repeated rhetoric i see here.

[Lawrence]

hi

i'm new here. i read somewhere on the site that the point of us being here is to grow spiritually and learn lessons for human life experiences.

i think one of the major lessons i am supposed to learn is from my current girlfriend cheating on me. we have been together for 6 years. she cheated on me about 3 years ago. she says that she was drunk when it happened. she phoned early the next morning in tears when she realised what had happened. i have tried to forgive her over the last 3 years but it has damaged our realationship. i want to love and trust her completely but there is now an invisible barrier between us.

my question is. how do i distill the love and understanding from that experience? what is there to learn and understand and how do i grow from it?

thanks.

[Air-Wick]

hi

i'm new here. i read somewhere on the site that the point of us being here is to grow spiritually and learn lessons for human life experiences.

i think one of the major lessons i am supposed to learn is from my current girlfriend cheating on me. we have been together for 6 years. she cheated on me about 3 years ago. she says that she was drunk when it happened. she phoned early the next morning in tears when she realised what had happened. i have tried to forgive her over the last 3 years but it has damaged our realationship. i want to love and trust her completely but there is now an invisible barrier between us.

my question is. how do i distill the love and understanding from that experience? what is there to learn and understand and how do i grow from it?

thanks.


well, if you see a lesson in some experience, don't ever hesitate to try and learn from it.

but i understand what you're going through, i've been cheated on before, and it's simply a big ego killer. makes you feel insecure because the girl that you thought was perfect for you, could be with another man, and be okay with it, but not you. the lesson i learned from my experience was to just accept yourself for who you are, and that you do not, for any reason, need another person to make you happy. also, that you must be able to forgive them, and forget about it.

because, if you are able to forgive them for this, learn that you do not need them, but that you are simply comfortable with them, that will inevitably make you grow in many ways than one. :cool:

[docholiday]

hi

i'm new here. i read somewhere on the site that the point of us being here is to grow spiritually and learn lessons for human life experiences.

i think one of the major lessons i am supposed to learn is from my current girlfriend cheating on me. we have been together for 6 years. she cheated on me about 3 years ago. she says that she was drunk when it happened. she phoned early the next morning in tears when she realised what had happened. i have tried to forgive her over the last 3 years but it has damaged our realationship. i want to love and trust her completely but there is now an invisible barrier between us.

my question is. how do i distill the love and understanding from that experience? what is there to learn and understand and how do i grow from it?

thanks.
think one of the major lessons i am supposed to learn is from my current girlfriend cheating on me. we have been together for 6 years. she cheated on me about 3 years ago. she says that she was drunk when it happened. she phoned early the next morning in tears when she realised what had happened. i have tried to forgive her over the last 3 years but it has damaged our realationship. i want to love and trust her completely but there is now an invisible barrier between us.

my question is. how do i distill the love and understanding from that experience? what is there to learn and understand and how do i grow from it?


hello

i too, can greatly emphasize with your experience.

your question implies that there is some sort of intrinsic lesson that one is "supposed" to gain from these type of experiences - as if there is some inherent truth to the whole thing. perhaps it would be more enpowering to adopt the perspective that nothing in your world has any intrinsic meaning- and is essentially meaningless -until you provide it with meaning. you choose what it means to you...

in other words- regarding this situation or any situation - realize that you are what gives that situation its meaning. you are not at the affect of the matter - you are at cause in the matter.

what do you choose ..... what do you choose?

peace luke

[Vaughn]

it's your time to grow, change, for myself i've found giving service to others helps out alot, i found out so much more about me, and the world around us by doing so.
all the best.:)

[rocksisi]

dear wanderer, i feel feel exactly the same way as you do. don't worry, it's normal. just try to be nice and patient with otherselves and hang on. just keep on the road. soon all of your sacrifices and efforts will be rewarded when the wonderful quantum leap takes us home.
endless love and hope for everyone and for you!

[shadowoman52]

where we are is were we are supposed to be. sometimes, just our presence alone is enough.

gravity makes me tired. earth's changing atmosphere makes me physically sick.

sometimes i think i'm at the most remote outpost at the edge of the universe waiting for reinforcements to arrive.

but then, someone comes to me and shows me the geometric symbol they just had a dream about...........and my "job" comes back into focus...........

i know the frustration of wanting to do the "spiritual" work as a full time job........with "monetary" benefits, but what is that "job" really?

every time you figure out what that "job" is, it changes.

[bullseyeannie]

you are always in control, remember that. send out your dislikes; but be grateful too!!!

"magic' when you understand and appreciate it fully, is truly magical! :o

[charmainefrost]

think one of the major lessons i am supposed to learn is from my current girlfriend cheating on me. we have been together for 6 years. she cheated on me about 3 years ago. she says that she was drunk when it happened. she phoned early the next morning in tears when she realised what had happened. i have tried to forgive her over the last 3 years but it has damaged our realationship. i want to love and trust her completely but there is now an invisible barrier between us.

my question is. how do i distill the love and understanding from that experience? what is there to learn and understand and how do i grow from it?

.......

your question implies that there is some sort of intrinsic lesson that one is "supposed" to gain from these type of experiences - as if there is some inherent truth to the whole thing. perhaps it would be more enpowering to adopt the perspective that nothing in your world has any intrinsic meaning- and is essentially meaningless -until you provide it with meaning. you choose what it means to you...

in other words- regarding this situation or any situation - realize that you are what gives that situation its meaning. you are not at the affect of the matter - you are at cause in the matter.

what do you choose ..... what do you choose?

peace luke

forgiveness is as much for ourselves as for "the other". when in "non-forgiveness", we relive the unpleasant event a thousand times; our present moment becomes contaminated with and identical to that past event each time we revisit it with intense emotions/thoughts. often, forgiveness is a step towards releasing the ties binding us to the event, a step towards detaching ourselves and freeing ourselves from it. and, in freeing ourselves, we also free the other person; what benefits self also benefits other.

we may not be able to change the concrete facts of an event, but we can choose how we perceive them, react to them, are affected by them...our point of perception, framing/reframing the event. what follows "because" in the phrase "she did x *because*...."

possibly, we won'r know what/if we're "supposed" to learn anything from a happening, but we can ask "what *can* i learn (whether or not any "supposed to" is involved being incidental....). what can i learn from this situation? what can i perceive here that i haven't seen before? such questions add the possibility of inquiry/learning to even the most "mundane" circumstance.

imho, "love" includes the notion of "allowing" - allowing the other(s) to be prone to any desire, fear, temptation, quirk (etc, etc) that i can imaging myself being prone to; this would also include "allowing" the other the freedom not to "love" us back and not to understand us and we (think we) understand them. of course, we wouldn't necessarily want to be in a "live together" relationship with the person; could "live" the person in the sense of having compassion and understanding for them, but not want to be involved in their dramas as a girlfriend or boyfriend.

hope i did the quote thing right (first time i posted on this forum).