Pain and service to others

[conundrum]

i was just wandering if some one could throw me a few different perspectives in regards to
being of service to others while experiencing pain while being of service.

for example some one cleaning house or other such duties while others mess up the house with little regard or appreciation of the service being provided while the individual has the distortion of pain in there 3rd density body complex.

the individual does the service out of love or honor yet because of the distortion of pain becomes a little resentful towards the others which causes conflict depression and some times frustration and anger to all parties .

would the individual be hindering there own spiritual growth by doing so and in effect wasting precious time or would the others be benefiting and learning a valuable lesson in regards to service ?

and could it actually be the pain that is resented not the actual duties or others at all ?

[Deambor]

hi, conundrum.

a difficult question...

i can somewhat relate to your particular situation as cleaning a house is an activity close to me. and the pain in my 3d body compex has been present for a number of years now.

first of all, the distortion of pain - the greatest catalyst - we obviously learn to adjust to it one way or the other. but we also learn from it. i recently have been trying to send love to my body complex, running the love and healing light energy up and down my chakras in meditation. i like to think it helps.
i wrote "i like to think" - and i pause for a second. it is very important what we like to think. some time ago i began teaching myself how to love small things, like doing dishes, cleaning house etc. i somewhat learned to enjoy the activities. and the activities enjoy my enjoyment, if you will.
now the real trick is to learn how to enjoy doing it while in pain. effectively i like to think that i'm learning how to love my pain, and the combination of two loves (love of chores, a particular act of serving others and love of pain) produces the perception of loving the whole experience.

now, how do i go about others being not appreciative of my suffering, when this is what takes place? well, what i do is i lower expectation of others, i.e. my bar for others is so low in my mind that everything they do unto me becomes better than what i expect. i know it is in a way a cheating of sorts, but it actually works for me. in other words, i once decided to give people a break. just give everyone a break in a big sense of the word. i think the reason it works is because others sense that "ease" coming from you, and in fact they let go themselves a lilttle bit. i notice i usually get a break in return.
obviusly this is all in my mind, but then - what is not in our mind?

it's probably one of the strongetst catalysts yo ucan find in this environment - the combination of pain and the necessity to serve others.

al lof the above may or may not be helpful to you, conundrum. if it is - i'm happy, if it's not, just let it go by.

love to you

deambor

[Alexander]

i can certainly relate.

i have been like the aggrieved party at times, while in my youth i was sometimes the other party that unappreciated or mistreated the giver.

it's up to you decide how much to put up with. how bad is the neglect/in appreciation?

it also will vary greatly on who will learn what, when, and how. some people will just walk all over others as long and as much as they can.

you can learn through your pain even when your pain is undeserved. do not allow yourself to become bitter.

[Berry Chastain]

conundrum and deambor,
i sympathize with the physical pain which you experience in that service to others and i honor you in attempting to consolidate that pain into you spiritual growth. it is sometimes difficult to accept and embrace within your daily lives. i would suggest to you that you study the continual disabling pain which carla reuckert experienced during the time that she was channeling the ra material,and even to the present time, and which was magnified for the very reason that she was in the process of service to others in the act of giving her vital energy for the purpose of being an instrument through which those of ra could relate the law of one. pain is of one of two sources, either catalyst to promote growth spiritually, which has been chosen preincarnatively, or it is a negative greeting which is designed to inhibit spiritual growth. in either case, viewing it as a gift to move through toward further enlightenment and spiritual growth, will anchor you in your seeking of the one.

[conundrum]

firstly thanks for your replies secondly my observation was of a friend of mine my own pain is the result of playing the survival game even though i wimper now and then compared with many others my pain is nothing at this time until the wheel comes around again :(

funny enough some one rang me up after i posted this and i was talking about it with her
she was taught that staying focused on the chore instead of letting the mind wonder helps a lot... do small things with great love or concentration is easier said than done when your backs twinging you have 1 kid wanting some thing to eat another yelling abuse at you because they cant find there socks while the other one fills the sink up with dirty dishes which you have just finished washing.

kind of reminds me of work grown men are very similar to children in so many ways i did it for money she does for love the only difference being if i didn't get payed i never would have done it a lesson and reflection in one.

feel the oneness
as below as above :d

[Purple Dragon]

from what i have studied in the last while, i think we are supposed to be focusing on what our intentions and emotions are, not what others are. a book i read recently talked about how when he did the dishes, it really bothered him when his wife would come and put the cat dishes in with his nice clean water. he asked her not to do it, but still she did. finally he realized that to her, it was an irrelevant issue and simply didn't understand why or how it bothered him, and hence just couldn't remember that is bothered him so. he finally realized that the issue wasn't with the cat dish, it was the feeling that he was not being respected by his wife, but also at the same time realized that it was only him that was bothered by it. so in the end, the solution was simple. don't let it bother you as they are not trying to upset you, it just isn't a relevant issue. if you let others actions affect you, then it can drag you down somewhere you don't want to go.

personally i thought this was a great message. it helped me realize that when someone does something i don't like, i think about how it affects me, what emotions i am having, and if i can realize that the emotions are negative and learn from the experience, i try to turn it into a positive emotion just by accepting the negative one. i also try to realize that who i am is not the emotions that others create with-in me, it is how i act upon those emotions and what i learn that defines what i can become.

hopefully that came out right!

[mmariebored]

from what i have studied in the last while, i think we are supposed to be focusing on what our intentions and emotions are, not what others are. a book i read recently talked about how when he did the dishes, it really bothered him when his wife would come and put the cat dishes in with his nice clean water. he asked her not to do it, but still she did. finally he realized that to her, it was an irrelevant issue and simply didn't understand why or how it bothered him, and hence just couldn't remember that is bothered him so. he finally realized that the issue wasn't with the cat dish, it was the feeling that he was not being respected by his wife, but also at the same time realized that it was only him that was bothered by it. so in the end, the solution was simple. don't let it bother you as they are not trying to upset you, it just isn't a relevant issue. if you let others actions affect you, then it can drag you down somewhere you don't want to go.

when you're in a partnership, you make a conscious effort to please your partner by respecting their wishes, like not putting cat dishes in the people dish water. it's silly, but it's not silly to him.

when my child has simple requests, like "always wear socks in the house(everyone, even guests)", the thing that enforces that rule is the amount of love we all have for him and the fact that that little effort would please him so much and therefore please us as well.

maybe the wife reasons that he's a grown man and things like that shouldn't bother him, but she isn't finding his wishes important enough to remember.

i do see her point, that dirty dishes are dirty dishes, it's not like he's asking her to remember not to knock over clothes he just folded, or not to flick ashes all over the toilet seat. the point about not getting upset can be abused. but people usually live within their tolerance levels, remembering that...it could be worse.

[childofthetao]

in my opinion if you enjoy doing it it, do it.

if you don't enjoy doing it, don't do it.

if you get paid for it, it's your decision to either do it or not.

if however you aren't being paid for it but do it anyway and you feel anger about having to always clean up after disrespectful people who always make a mess, the answer is very clear: do not do it, they will wallow in there own mess until they appreciate what you were doing for them.

why is the best course of action? because what is the most valuable service you can provide to someone: a clean house? or spiritual evolution?

being service to others doesn't mean being a doormat.

child of the tao

[Deambor]

let me tell you a story, a real one.

it happened last august. one sunday morning i got up before the rest of my family were awake and i decided to go for a stroll in the publkic park, which is across the street from our house.

it was about church time, and there were very few people, mostly joggers, some walking the dogs etc.

the park has a paved circular walk of maybe a mile or a bit less.
there is a playground area for toddlers, and one for school age kids.

i enter the park and i notice there is a man in a wheelchair at a distance. we are going in the opposite directions.
then i notice the disabled man takes a dertoir from the pavement and wheels to the playground ares for small kids. as i come close enough i see that he has plastic bag in his hands and he has plastic gloves on. i realized he was picking up junk.
at that moment he was trying to reach underneath the table for an empty water bottle, but it was hard for him. so i come up to the table, help him with the bottle and i say, "hi, i can see you are picking up junk in the park...' he says, "yes i like the park clean". his tone was very 'as a matter of fact', very composed and simple. he was maybe in his mid 70s.
so i started saying, "people..." and i posed for a second, trying to make it sound nicer, than what was actualy on my tongue. and what was on my tongue was not pretty - i want otsay that, you knopw, people are pigs, they litter, they leave all sorts of junk after themselves in public places etc.
luckily, he didn't let me say any of that. right after i said the first word "people" he said very quickly, "no. you see, he says, it's the area where the mothers are with their small kids, often more than with one. it's not easy to be watching over small children, you can't think of everything, first things first. but i like the park clean."
he said all this in a very calm voice, it was comforting to be around this disabled man.

i said "yes, you are right.' and then we moved on our paths.

i thought, well it's funny that it is sunday morning, and the very peolple who left this junk behind are probably in churches doing their sunday praeyrs, while this disabled person is picking up after them.

it was a good lesson for me.

i was in fact so moved by this experience i was almost in tears, in a good way. even now, if i tell this story to someone, there is a swelling in my throat.
talk about service to others.

love to all

deambor